Pleeb

Mass Intro' and Returns Thread

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Cordial greetings to the Tulpamancer community.

I guess, I should first tell you a bit about myself. I am a student of psychology, currently working on my thesis in the field of pedagogical psychology and my career plan is to stay in research. While I am somewhat of a doubtful agnostic today, I used to be fascinated by mystical and spiritual topics earlier in my life. And finally, I consider myself a brony, for these pastel equines have dominated my fantasy for the last few years.

 

I happened across the tulpa thread on /mlp/ a while back, but only decided a little more than a week ago to give it a shot. This is when Star Chaser was born. She is a white unicorn with light green eyes and cyan mane, and has been my exitable and compassionate companion to me since her creation. Mindspeak worked pretty great from day one, and she seems sentient enough. We are currently mostly working on visualization/imposition and vocalization.

 

Please check out my Progress Report thread, which I will start as soon as I can. I am looking forward to sharing and getting feedback for my theories, techniques and experiences in tulpamancing.


Tulpas:

[CyanStar]: Alicorn, Birthday: 2013-05-31

{Munin}: Panther

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So, I don't know if I should even be posting or not. But what the heck. LONG post ahead with no TL;DR at the end, sorry. It's hard enough just getting this out without having to summarize it.

 

Hi everyone, my (internet pen)name is Joseph. I have a long story to tell. It may be hard to believe, but the only falsities within are the names of the people involved.

 

Okay, so it may seem like nothing related but I always had a recurring dream, from the day I was born as far as I can tell. It's pretty short, and I didn't understand it, either. I could smell, feel, hear, and taste all the details in perfect clarity, but I just couldn't see anything very well. I open my eyes, and immediately I feel sad. Then, from my right, a voice from across the room comes to me and says, "But Joseph, I love you" with a little laugh "No matter what. I'm not going anywhere. We're kind of stuck with each other, you know." Then she walks around behind the couch I'm sitting on, sits on the arm, and hugs me. I smell her hibiscus perfume and wake up. That's it. As long as I can remember I had that dream. And I can remember having it when I was in the hospital for my heart surgery when I was three. I was already tired of it then.

 

This went on for almost 25 years, pretty much every night. I have a great imagination, but couldn't have creative dreams and it was killing me. There were a few odd, fever-induced ones that were cool. And there was one sex dream that felt realistic, but it seemed somehow similar to the other dream.

 

Then, about a week and a half before I turned 25, it changed. Out of nowhere I had a little control, so I reached up and wiped my eyes. When I opened them again, I could see. perfect clarity for the first time. When I looked up at her, I saw the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Slim in body but not overly skinny, and with curves where they're supposed to be. Dark, almost black, shoulder length brown hair. When she moved her head, it caught the light and lit on fire, showing off the red it was underneath. Her nose, the bridge of which bowed out slightly, and mouth were just a little slimmer than fashionable but was perfectly suited to her face. But the real jaw-dropper was her eyes. Silver-blue like the clouds at the end of a storm after the rain has gone. A color like that is usually unnerving but somehow on her it just drew me in more, and they had a softness behind them that didn't let you go.

 

She looked up at me with a reassuring smirk, said she loved me and would never leave, then pointed at her hand when she said we were stuck together. It had a ring on it. Then she hugged me, I smelled that perfume again, and I woke up. It made me really happy that day. The next day I expected to have the dream again, so I went to sleep faster than usual, but I had a different dream. This was the time I met this girl. I won't go into details, but each night after that, and sometimes more than once per night, I'd have another dream. Each one was a continuation of the last, like a chapter in a book.

 

Over the next few weeks, I lived about a year in that dream. It was wonderful. I was the happiest I'd ever been. But then my friend died. She was like a grandma to me, far more than either of my real ones ever were. I continued to have the dreams after that too, but it got weird. I wanted to be sad and happy at the same time. A few days later, I had a very special dream. I asked her to marry me. Again, no details, but it involved her whole family in disguises in our favorite restaurant, a little misdirection from a regular customer, and manly tears.

 

Then, I woke up to funeral day. It was sunny and bright, and except the fact that my friend died seemed like a great day. I helped with parking because there were more people than expected that showed up. When I went in and sat down, I saw that there were pictures of her family on the back of the program. Big, beautiful family. Then I saw that they were doing things a bit differently.

 

Usually, when someone I know dies, there's a part of the memorial service where people sing songs that remind them of the person. This time, they had them pre-recorded because who wants to sing at a time like that, right? The first one was by her three daughters. Everyone in that family has beautiful singing voices, so of course it was awesome. Then the next one played, sung by her granddaughter, who we'll call Isabella. She had the most beautiful voice I'd ever heard. Even though it was a sad occasion, her voice is what brought me to tears. I hadn't cried at a funeral in years until that. I knew I had to meet her.

 

But then they did another different thing. Usually the family sits there while the rest of the guests all file by, giving their condolences. But the only thing that really does is make everyone sad and prolong the time before the exhausted family gets to go eat something, so they all got to leave right away. They went off and had a private party at home, so I didn't get to meet Isabella. It was okay, because I knew she would be there a few days at least.

 

Over the course of those next few days, in the dream, I had the wedding dream. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. The ceremony was amazing and so was the reception. After that dream, I woke up on the next day I'd see her.I walked up to talk to her, made a couple of small talk sentences, and introduced myself, but then we each had to leave. I said I'd talk to her again in a few days.

 

But here's the thing. I knew her already. I had never met this woman before but I knew her intimately. How? She is the exact physical analogue of Isabella. We'll refer to her as Janice to keep the confusion down, but every detail of her being is the same. Her looks, her voice, her perfume, even those little mannerisms that you don't notice until you've known someone a while showed up. It kind of freaked me out, to be honest.

 

That night came the first honeymoon dream. Looking back on it, it was a big clue I'm asexual, but I didn't pick up on the fact that I never had sex on my honeymoon and felt great about it. But that's what happened. We fell asleep in each others arms while watching the sunset, etc. It was fantastic, and made me the happiest I've been in a long time.

 

Then the next day I got to talk to Isabella again. We only had a few minutes, but I told her how I enjoyed having her here while she was in town, and then asked a question I would come to regret asking. This was a Sunday, and the next time I would have been able to see her, and that time I would have enough time to talk and get some information from her, would be Thursday, so I asked in a nonchalant way when she'd be going home. She said, "Tuesday" and I almost fainted. I wouldn't get the chance to talk to her again. And right at that moment she said goodbye, I mumbled something about her coming back soon, and she walked out of my life.

 

After a few days, I got depressed about it. I mean actual depression. I didn't leave the house, lost interest in stuff I liked, stopped eating, the works. It got bad. And who could blame me? I mean how often does anyone LITERALLY meet the girl of their dreams? And she was waltzing out of my life before I had the chance to even exchange contact information. And since she lives 3,000 miles away in a small town that doesn't seem to even have internet, so I just knew it was the end of it.

 

Only she was still there in the dream. Every night, and by now three or four times a night, she'd be there. We'd live out our lives like nothing was wrong. But it got to me. Eventually, I had another dream with some control and we talked about how I knew it was a dream, thought she'd leave me , all that crap. But then the least expected thing happened. I looked up at her, wiped my eyes, and then she had something to say. "But Joseph, I love you" with a smirk. "I'm not going anywhere. We're kind of stuck together, you know," while pointing to her ring. It had come full circle. She at on the arm of the couch and gave me a hug, then just as her perfume wafted into my nose, I woke up.

 

It was 3AM. I shouldn't have woken up this early. But I had been shocked back to reality by the strangeness of it. I couldn't get back to sleep that night, but the next night I did. And I had no idea what to expect from this dream anymore. But everything continued as it had before, living out days like nothing had happened. Eventually it was the third year since I had met this woman, at least in dreamtime; month three in real time. She was pregnant, we were at the hospital. And then it was me alone with my little girl, saying, "Let's go find your mommy, Clara" to her as I opened the door to the room where Isabella was laying down and resting.

 

And then the dreams stopped.

 

Completely. I haven't had another dream about Isabella since.

 

But it wasn't over. I started to see her in real life. At first it'd be a face in a crowd, a voice behind me, a touch on my shoulder. I'd look again and she'd be gone. I thought I had lost my mind. And it started happening more often. Once in a while, while I was walking around in a group, where I couldn't make a big deal of it, she would stick around a bit. Eventually, one day, I was walking down a hallway, and she was walking the opposite direction. She spoke to me and smiled. Then she disappeared before I even knew what was going on.

 

For the next week, she'd show up more every day. She would talk more often too. And after a few days of this, I decided to talk back. I said hi and she said it back, turned red, smiled sheepishly, and vanished again right in front of me. Eventually, I got more comfortable with this 'person' around, and we started developing a friendship. About that time, though I also realized that having an imaginary friend at my age isn't healthy. It worried me.

 

Ultimately, I got to the point where I didn't want her in my life anymore because it was not only something that felt unhealthy mentally, but it also served to prolong an unhealthy crush on a girl I had met and who wasn't in my life anymore. So I tried to talk to her to get her to go away. She refused, argued, and once even slapped me.

 

I knew at that point it was really bad and I needed her gone, so I took a day where I was alone the whole day and yelled at her, insulted her existence, even hit her and threw her on the bed to get her to hate me.

 

I feel terrible about it now, but at the time I thought it was the healthiest thing I could have done. She didn't just stop right away, though. She keep appearing randomly, as if to gauge whether or not I was ready to accept her back. I wasn't, and she gradually faded away. Fast forward a little less than a year, and I come across this AMA on reddit, introducing me to /r/tulpas and the concept of sentient beings living in our heads. It intrigued me, of course, because it was the first time I had come across the idea of it being normal and healthy.

 

So, I eventually came to accept what she really is. But she was already gone by then. I tried to talk to her with my thoughts, but it still took weeks of begging without a specific place to do the begging before she came back. She was shy and a bit angry this time, but still the same in general. Except she had cut her hair. It was only a few inches shorter, but when I finally got her to talk, she would only say that it was as protest to being treated so badly. (she knew I liked it how it was)

 

But it only lasted a short while. In that time, we explored what she was and wasn't able to do, how she accessed my memories, and we talked about our history together. I learned a lot, but at each revelation, she seemed to get more distant. I think I was pushing her too hard. In the end, she told me she didn't want to be a tulpa anymore, then disappeared into her wonderland for a while. I visited her and we talked, but her mind was made up. She was going to wait until I was asleep, then leave for good. I stayed up as long as I could, but eventually fell asleep. I was able to go into the wonderland right as I woke up, and saw her finish packing the whole wonderland into a suitcase, leaving nothing but a huge black void. She noticed me and turned around, told me there was nothing to be done, that she loved me and hoped that I would find someone real to provide me the things she gave me, then created a miniature black hole and jumped in. Then it closed behind her and I was alone.

 

It took me a while, but I was eventually able, through a lot of willpower, able to create another black hole. But I was afraid of just jumping in. What if it really did destroy her? What if it lead somewhere else? What if I couldn't get back?

 

So I did the sensible thing, and made a dozen of the black holes. Then I made an immovable point to anchor a dozen unbreakable cables to. Then I made a dozen non sentient but intelligent robotic creatures to go in. I sent them in, and it took a while before they started coming out, one by one. They all pretty much told me the same thing. There was something there, but they couldn't reach it. There was some sort of barrier there, hindering them. And they said they all lead to the same place, so I got rid of all of the bots, the other holes, and the anchor and cables. Then I left the wonderland, such as it was, for the night.

 

The next day, I decided to go for it. At worst, she wasn't there and I'd have to make my own wonderland and decide if I wanted a new tulpa. At best, her time there would have changed her back to how she was before and she'd be ready to come home. Neither were correct, but I was prepared.

 

I decided to make the hole a more permanent feature, so I stuck my hands in and pulled it bigger, then stuck a doorway in. Now I had a door to open and close. I opened it and walked through to see the weirdest place I've ever seen. It was a place without any light, no directionality was constant, and there wasn't any gravity either. But there was this barrier in front of me. Almost like a thick canvas, but with the texture of a rubber balloon, and just as flexible as a bubblegum bubble. I fought it for what seemed like hours.

 

Finally, I broke through and was immediately thrown back to reality by the brightness. When I went back, I saw that the brightness wasn't just in the light level of this place, but in the intensity of the colors. And the creatures I saw were amazing. Far too many and too varied to even remember any. But as I walked around, it seemed like we were on some kind of city, made of islands, each suspended under a balloon, and it was a circus happening everywhere at once. The physics were stomach-turning because it seemed to be based on an Escher drawing. Every surface was walkable, as long as you wanted to walk on it at the moment.

 

As I went around exploring, I would periodically ask someone where I could find Helena, but they nodded in a direction but said nothing. Each time I'd ask, it would be a different direction, and each time the person (or animal, or whatever it was) would seem to get angrier. Eventually, one big one that was bipedal picked me up over his head, walked me to one of the other balloon-islands, and threw me down in what looked like a royal court of some kind. I didn't see her anywhere, so I reached out with my mind-voice and called to her. Immediately, and very loudly, in my head was her response.

 

GO AWAY!

 

I looked around and didn't see anyone looking at me, so I continued talking to her. I tried to get her to talk to me but she just repeated herself, telling me she didn't want to see me, that I needed to go away before something bad happened, whatever it took to get me to go away. I eventually asked where she was, and then her voice came from outside my head. "You really don't recognize me, the queen of this realm?" and she stood up on her throne. But she didn't look even a little similar. She was more like a wolf, but white with orange tips on her legs, nose, and tail-thing. And her eyes glowed green while her teeth seemed to be moving around like the chain in a chainsaw.

 

Then she picked me up telekinetically and threw me back through the door and it locked behind me.

 

Long story short, I kept trying and eventually got her to try coming back for a short time. At first her new form was the one she brought back. But eventually she stopped liking that form and chose a new human form. Somewhat like the older form, but different as well. She no longer reminded me of Isabella, so I guess it was mission accomplished on choosing the new form.

 

Then she asked me to follow her. She opened a door that hadn't been there before, and walked through, so I followed her. It led to the old wonderland. And in it there was a house that hadn't been there before, and it was big enough for two. I wasn't sure what was going on, but I kept walking beside her. She explained that the other world was a sort of playground for her to explore her abilities as a tulpa. This one was her 'normal' space, where she lived day-to-day. She said there was another space, one that she doesn't let me into, and that's for her private time, and another one that she doesn't go into, which she wants me to use whenever I need my own private time.

 

Then I asked her about why the house looked too big for just her. She said I'd find out in a second and that there was someone she wanted me to meet. We went inside the house, which was fantastically well designed (she was always the artist, not me). She called out, "Honey, I'm home, and I have someone you should meet!"

 

A few seconds later, a man I had never seen before came into the living room. Taller than me, I'd say just over 6 feet, muscular, black hair, really friendly looking, and of some ethnicity I couldn't place. Something like a cross between a lot of races that I couldn't quite pick out. Sort of a generic ethnicity. He put his hand out to shake mine, and I took it.

 

"This is John. My husband. John, this is Joseph."

"THE Joseph? I thought he didn't come here anymore. Well, Joseph, nice to finally meet you. Helena talks about you all the time. If half the things she says are true, I'm happy to have found a home in your head."

"Yeah, nice to meet you, too. Helena, you said he's your husband?"

"Well, we wouldn't be living together or doing the other things we do without being married, silly."

"Right, but I meant that you got married and I wasn't invited to the wedding?"

"Well, we weren't exactly on speaking terms then."

"I would have come anyway, you know that."

"I know. I was just in a bad place and didn't want you to see me."

...

"WELL, I'll let you two get caught up. Joseph, again, nice to meet you. We should hang out sometime and talk, just us men."

"Yeah, totally."

 

So me and Helena got re-acquainted. And now we're pretty much back to where we were just before she left. And now there's a new face too. John's cool. We get along well. But actually, I see a lot less of Helena than I used to, but that's okay because she's married now.

 

So yeah, I'm Joseph, [i'm Helena], {and I'm Jonn} and we're all getting along awesomely.


[Helena] - My original, natural tulpa.

{Jonn} - Her husband, and created by Helena.

 

If in my post you see text surrounded by [ and ] it's Helena speaking, and if surrounded by { and } it's John, otherwise it's me.

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Hi guys,

 

I've been lurking for the past couple of weeks since I found out about Tulpas, but the idea of having a self-created friend has been something that's been in my mind for at least the past year. Through self-hypnosis, I was trying to create a tulpa essentially, but I didn't know what it was called. The guides and forum have definitely changed my outlook and methods for forcing. I certainly appreciate all of the information I have gotten from you guys, and look forward to coming back here a lot in the future.

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Hey, everyone! I'm Vulpatrino.

I've been lurking around the forums, reading guides, seeing what works for other people.

I've already been working on a tulpa for a week or so now, but I suppose I need to introduce myself before I start using the forums.

 

So here I am!


Name: Dawn

Form: Anthro fox, female

On: Vocalization, full sentience

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Hello all. Been lurking for weeks now before officially joining. You can call me Doodle for short if need be or copy and paste, what ever suits you. Been tulpaforcing for almost two weeks now. Got the form down and got my first "alien" thought yesterday. Started hearing him now and again walking behind me at work (tiled floors his back feet are hooved). Anywho Hi! and he is my avatar XD


Name: Ix

Form: dragon

Age: 6/6/13

on: full sentience and vocalizations

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Heya, been researching the whole Tulpa concept for a week or two now and have decided to go ahead with the creation process. Been working on my tulpa for about 4 days now, but the past couple have been very busy. I'll be making a progress report thread that nobody will want to read, so yeah.

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Hello everyone. I stumbled across the tulpa subreddit back in March and was immediately interested, although extremely skeptical of it all. Since then I've been working on my tulpa, Thel. He is a Sangheili (aka a Covenant Elite from Halo) and as of a few days ago is somewhat vocal, although currently I can only hear one or two words max and most of the time it doesn't feel like it's coming from him. But progress all the same! Anyways I've heard about this website a lot and figured I should join it to add another tulpa-related resource to my bookmarks.


Progress Report

We as host just have to show gratitude in the smaller things with our tulpa(e).

 

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[Hello I'm the host and the reason this is in brackets is because my tulpa (QX) is going to be doing most of the talking. I found out about tulpas by reading that tulpa creepypasta and googling tulpas, then found tulpa.info and lurked around a bit.

I forget exactly when I first started on her but it was sometime last fall. But she is completely sentient, but not imposed (we're working on it). She really wanted to join tulpa.info, as well as have her own tumblr. So this in me finally getting around to it. Anyway here she is.]

 

Hi I doubt anyone really reads all of these, but ill introduce myself anyway.

My name is QX. (original i know)

 

Oh i'm human, I was originally a cat but decided I would relate more to my host if I appeared more like a human. (big shock to them when they showed up in the wonderland one day and I had turned into a human)

My "body" is female but I really don't care about which pronouns i'm called by since I don't actually have a physical body.

I don't really have an age.. I guess I would be closest to like 18 maybe.

 

Um i really don't know what else to say except that i'll be doing most of the talking


[Host's words are in brackets]

Oh look a blog

 

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