DizzySpinda

Having relationship trouble because of interest in tulpae

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I have just told my boyfriend "I was thinking about creating a tulpa" (Though I've been in the creation process for a few days) but he sort of flipped out, he told me I needed counseling and that if I continue to think this is healthy he wouldn't want to be with me. What do I do? Should I stop? I still want to continue but I definitely don't want to do it behind his back. He kept saying it was multiple personality disorder and I couldn't seem to convince him otherwise. Any advice? please and thank you!

 

(P.S) Sorry if this is in the wrong thread, wasn't sure where to post since it's not directly tulpa related)

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See if you can encourage him to do his own research on it. If he still doesn't think it's OK, you need to rethink him. What you choose to do with your personal self and mind is your business and yours only. He has no right to set up an ultimatum like that. If he won't let you be free in the relationship, then you're better off without him. This is a bigger issue than just a tulpa here I think.


I'm Alanna, Domnopalus' host. Dom always speaks in brackets []

 

Tulpa: Domnopalus ||

Form (I am the artist) || WL: Bald cypress swamp. || Progress Report

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And to think I had the exact opposite problem with my first tulpa, who was incredibly displeased by the presence of my now-ex!

 

See if you can encourage him to do his own research on it. If he still doesn't think it's OK, you need to rethink him. What you choose to do with your personal self and mind is your business and yours only. He has no right to set up an ultimatum like that. If he won't let you be free in the relationship, then you're better off without him. This is a bigger issue than just a tulpa here I think.

 

Seconded. Couldn't agree with this more.

 

I can see why he might feel uncomfortable with the idea, but his reactionary threat to end the relationship if you don't cease and desist feels more destructive than supportive.

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Give 'im some fuckin' propa mint banter like calling him mum a-

Actually, you might want to educate him, encourage research, and maybe even provide him with some less alienating and subculture-y examples of tulpas - you know, some harmless propaganda from your end. If he either refuses to listen or fails to digest and address the information in any reasonable period of time, it sounds more like a battle of egos than a cry of fear from his end, and i'd certainly walk away from that myself.


tell the rapper what i'm gonna do with all this money

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That's very sad.

 

It sounds as if your boyfriend has his mind set that tulpas and MPD are the same, and probably thinks that is split-personality too. In fact, the three are completely different unless you are the sort of person that thinks in false dichotomies (black/white and no colors).

 

So, everyone before this has already suggested some good things in getting him to research.

 

It could just be that he's worried for you, or has had negative experiences with mental illness in the past (possibly attitudes picked up from his parents?). In which case it is just a simple fear reaction. Give him time to calm down. If he truly cares for you he will eventually at least try to understand.


Please consider supporting Tulpa.info.


 

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:( This is sad...


Me: Hey, say something for this thread!

Koharu: Yay, cupcakes!

mfw there are no cupcakes. Sentience? Yes. Brilliance? Ehh...

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I have just told my boyfriend "I was thinking about creating a tulpa" (Though I've been in the creation process for a few days) but he sort of flipped out, he told me I needed counseling and that if I continue to think this is healthy he wouldn't want to be with me. What do I do? Should I stop? I still want to continue but I definitely don't want to do it behind his back. He kept saying it was multiple personality disorder and I couldn't seem to convince him otherwise. Any advice? please and thank you!

 

(P.S) Sorry if this is in the wrong thread, wasn't sure where to post since it's not directly tulpa related)

 

Well, remind him that in DID criteria wise (I think), people aren't aware of the multiple personalities at the same time, don't have control, and are dysfunctional because of it. I don't see why a friend that doesn't make you dysfunctional or out of control needs to be labelled a disorder.

 

If that doesn't help, jesus, fuck him.


My lip hurts.

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I was actually in a very similar situation to you, I told him all about Kye when I was first creating him. He hated the idea and it caused a few arguments. I then let him know that I was doing it but I told him that I would not mention it until I'd either given up (just so he might think "oh she won't actually do it") or until Kye was vocal. Well it turned out Kye is vocal and I didn't give up, so I just gradually mentioned it "Oh just so you know, Kye's speaking a bit" It made him mad but then I wouldn't mention anything for a few days. I then slowly built it up until he finally cracked and asked to know more because it was frustrating him, I managed to explain it calmly and more scientifically and now he is on board! He might even create one himself. So I know this might not work for you and you have to figure out something that will work for you both but I just wanted to let you know that there is hope!

 

Just don't let him threaten not to be with you, if you want a tulpa then he shouldn't stop you. It isn't his right.

 

My bf is at work at the moment but I'll try and get him to post on here later, so you can maybe get a partners view of what is going on in their head!

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Oooooh, sounds like this could work. How did you explain it more scientifically?


My lip hurts.

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Well firstly after the first few arguments I just told him that I was going to be creating one to see if I can, I said that I didn't really believe it (this was all lies btw but the best chance of getting him slightly on board) and that I was doing it as a test to see if the mind was really capable. That already put him on the side of science rather than mental illness but he still wasn't happy. That's when I just started introducing the idea slowly and rather off hand "Oh I felt a weird response today" and thats all I said and changed the subject, stopped it being a full blown argument and I just got dirty looks instead! It got him thinking about it without feeling pressured and getting all worked up.

 

For explaining it more scientifically, I have no idea what I said to him was remotely right but I do remember reading someone elses theory which helped me (Can't find it). I guess it's not the best to lie but it's helped him understand and be more open to it. I told him that you have to imagine that the brain is always making new connections, whenever you learn something new more neurons are becoming attached (I'm no scientist, I haven't the foggyest if this is what happens but here is a site that kinda says what I was trying too http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/human-brain/10-brain-myths3.htm). So I told him that when creating a tulpa the neurons and synapses that are being created, eventually through the belief and learning, take on their own and become separate. It's when the tulpa learns something, it is their neurons that grow.

 

This is where I got kind of confused but my bf got quite excited and explained it back to me, he said it was kind of like if you imagine a stem and from the stem there are our neurons of our consciousness growing, learning and changing and then from the same stem further up, there is the tulpas. So two separate consciousness' linked to the same "stem". It's still us but the brain has learned they are separate.

 

Again I'm going to say that I have no idea if this is how the brain works and I don't know if this is true BUT it helped my bf understand a little bit more. If anyone who is more articulate and science minded wants to change that around to make more sense and more founded in facts rather than me making stuff up, be my guest!

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