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Strangelove

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Voice in My Head

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Oh boy, it's the start of the year 2014! Seems like it wasnt even a week ago everyone was shitting themselves over 2012 and the "end of the world".

 

Or maybe that was just me.

 

I doubt i was the only one hiding in a closet with an AK, 6 loaded mags, and a plate carrier waiting for shit to go down, but I digress.

 

Anyways, back to the topic on hand. Its a brand new year and that means a whole year of tulpa shenanigans.

 

1/2 UPDATE

Truth be told, not much progress has been made, which is why i haven't bothered to update this. I mean sure i could just ramble on pointlessly, but that'd be a waste of everyone's time.

 

One thing I have started doing is switching from using 'me', 'mine' and the like and switching them with 'we', 'our' and the like. Its just a small thing but it keeps me constantly thinking of Penumbra and its a pretty helpful way to remember to narrate throughout the day.

 

And that's...uh that's about it. I kinda wish I had more to post but things are going slowly. I bet we'd probably make more progress if I sat the fuck down and focused, but I always manage to fuck that up. Somehow. That and i dont really care for it.


We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness in this world.

 

Tulpa: Penumbra

Form: Pegasus Pone

Current Stage: Everything. At once.

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1/6 UPDATE (Also why did the site change colors; dear god i cant find anything, someone pls help)

 

So, two things up on the agenda

 

1) Been noticing something for the last day or so.

 

I'll be there, doing whatever it use i usually do, and I'll be narrating to Penumbra, like a host aught do, right? But sometimes, its like I say something, and I get a thought that pops up right after in response. It's like, a split second after or during a thought, that I'd get a response. I don't think I've ever done something like that before. I think i read about this somewhere here, but i cant for the life of me remember. Something about tulpa's sending out thoughts, and the host auto-translating the intent, i don't know for sure. Someone hit me up on that, would ya? Here or in a PM is fine, I'd just like something to read up on.

 

Now, I would just ask her, but sometimes she's real quiet like and wont respond, but will answer other stuff just fine (Well, respond as much as one can with headpressure).

 

Goddamn, im getting thoughts all though this.

 

2) I think Penny Deviated.

 

And I dont mean like, a color here, something there; Im talking whole form deviation.

 

Im not really sure if she did this on her own, or if im just sorta, inadvertently forcing/seeing her like that. Don't get me wrong, I like both forms and don't mind at all, and if she does want to keep this form then hey, more power to her. I just dont want to stifle her with a subconscious liking to a different form we saw


We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness in this world.

 

Tulpa: Penumbra

Form: Pegasus Pone

Current Stage: Everything. At once.

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1/10 UPDATE

Despite all of Mother Nature's bullshit, we've persevered and actually managed to do something:

 

Speech

 

I was chilling in bed for the night, browsing like usual when i found this guide

http://pastebin.com/fi4krATc and decided to give it a shot because, why the fuck not? So i'm givin' it a go; trying to sorta, hell I don't know, physically move my thoughts to the front. Crazy thing is that it works and i'm feeling the pressure on my noggin like the guide says will happen. I go about like this for a little bit more and then I hear Penumbra say my name. Now, granted it was sorta like a ghost; drawn out and airy, but over all it was there. It also sounded like she said it in my voice.

 

Now at this point I was pretty giddy. I tried giving her some suggestions to improve and sound more solid, but I didn't get anything back. I think I kept trying until I fell asleep.

 

All in all, it's nice when we get something new down. It may be really small, but it's better than nothing.


We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness in this world.

 

Tulpa: Penumbra

Form: Pegasus Pone

Current Stage: Everything. At once.

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I recall seeing that guide earlier here on the forums, but haven't given it a shot myself. If it's something that you noticed progress in, then perhaps I should give it a go, as well. Glad to hear that things are going well for the two of you!


My Gaming Channel

 

Tulpa: Vinyl

Stage: A bit of everything, primarily right now imposition.

Appearance: Pony (originally styled similar to the MLPFiM art style, but lately has been shifting to a more anime-ish appearance)

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-REVIVAL UPDATE-

 

We aren't dead!

 

Long story short: long hours, college work, broken laptop=no updates.

 

Anyways, onwards to a hopeful continuation of my report.

 

WONDERLAND

 

So I decided to change up our wonderland. I figured being cooped up inside a stuffy building all day long like a pigeon wasn't too interesting for a Pegasus so instead I expanded outside our house.

stonehaven2.jpg

 

I picked Stone-haven from Ghosts because it was pretty cool design wise. Very atmospheric. I got rid of most of the destroyed buildings and whatnot to clear up the expanse. Its a pretty nice place to be honest; very relaxing and stress free.

 

TULPA PROGRESS

Like I said at the start, its been a combination of things that have really kept me from updating, and the same can be said of my forcing; This isnt my blog for bitching, so I'll leave it at that.

 

I've still been using that guide i posted before and im really happy to say that I actually heard her.

 

I HEARD HER.

 

Now, granted, it was a bunch of whispers, but still! I don't remember everything, and I didn't catch that much, but I do remember her saying "5 hours" at some point. I'm not sure of the significance of that statement, but holy shit, anyone whose ever struggled with vocality will understand my excitement.

 

Now I'm going to work my ass off even harder, because I know we can do it.

 

That's all for this Update im afraid. It was only one thing, but it was a really big one thing that makes a lot of difference. Sorta like Fat Man and Little Boy.

 

 

 

 

Oh, uh, and I suppose that I should mention that I kinda sorta started another tulpa so that they could work together and have some company whilst im busy being a lazy fuck. I'll save that for the next one though.


We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness in this world.

 

Tulpa: Penumbra

Form: Pegasus Pone

Current Stage: Everything. At once.

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12/3 UPDATE WHERE ARE WE NOW

 

Oh wow. 9 months and I haven't posted anything. I'm going to save all the excuses because we've heard them all, so lets get this on the road.

 

All in all, not much progress has been made on the "hearing her out loud front; that being said, as time's gone on, I found that I was getting these responses all the same, but not how i expected. Now this is hard to explain, so please bear with me.

 

Normally when I talk to myself inside my head, i'm consciously aware of what i'm gonna say. Now when she talks, it like the words just sorta appear without my being aware of them forming until the entire thought is complete. Sometimes I'll get the start and the middle just to lose the end, but we haven't found a way around that beyond he repeating herself.

 

Truth be told, I didn't think this was progress at first, and I was kinda disappointed in myself because i started this a little over a year ago and I still couldn't hear her. Then I realized that, while yes, i couldn't physically hear her out-loud, I was actually able to talk to her beyond trying to coax her into headpressuring me. Now looking back, I probably should have picked up on that sooner, but I'm not really good on seeing the good in things.

 

SO, we have made progress (probably quite a bit), we arent dead, and everything is going smoothishly.

 

Ciao


We wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness in this world.

 

Tulpa: Penumbra

Form: Pegasus Pone

Current Stage: Everything. At once.

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