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Phenom and Fiora :: Progress Report


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I just remembered one detail about this afternoon. I think I might have heard her. I was about to fall asleep while narrating when it happened, I heard a voice (not a mind voice but like whisper to my ears) but couldn't make out what the words were. Might be my mind playing trick on me though, but could be her.

 

EDIT:

 

And I thought I'd add this, in case anyone has an idea to help me with it or if anyone lived something similar.

I think I'll have a really hard time to tell its her when she'll try to talk to me in mind voice because I always think in dialogues already in my mind, since as long as I can remember. It will be hard to tell if its just me replying to myself like I always do or her.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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If anyone is reading this, you can notice it's been 20 days since my last update. No, I didn't quit. Had nothing much to say because of slow progress.

 

It's been really hard to force lately. Can't visualize for shit just like at my beginnings, and either don't have time to narrate, don't think about it or have nothing to say. That being said, I still do manage to narrate a bit daily, and took a long walk once with intense narrating for about an hour. Only once because the temperature is too cold to allow me to go outside (now it's getting warmer, which is good, but who knows for how long). I'll try to do that many times a week in the near future, once the temperature gets above zero (which I'd consider comfortable enough to concentrate on Fiora for an hour or so).

 

In the last... 8 days, I tried to do lucid visualization every time I go to bed. One thing that gave me hope, I did manage once (I think it was last Friday or Saturday night) to have very lucid visualization for a couple minutes. I tried to do it again every single day this week but only fell asleep every time. However, I've been thinking a lot this evening about what was different that one time I could do it, and my theory is that it was the only time that I really relaxed for the sake of relaxing (instead of trying to relax only in order to try visualization) and, most importantly, the only time I could really totally relax without any thoughts such as "I have to manage to do it quick, maximum an hour, because I have to get up early tomorrow". So yeah, I failed every single time since then. But now I have confidence I have higher chances tonight and tomorrow than on any other days since that one time I managed to do it.

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  • 4 years later...

Years later, we finally made some progress. I finally heard her. It was as a mind voice, and she only said "Hello."

 

I only started forcing again last week after years of quitting. It seems I (or I should say we) didn't have to restart to zero.

 

I have no doubt it was her because it was a foreign thought, it didn't come from me. It's the first time I don't feel like I'm the one that made the thought.

 

It was only one word but it means a lot to me, to us. (I could feel she was happy that I heard her). Couldn't hear any more than that for now (it's been about an hour) but.. yay! I'm glad to know it's possible and real. I always had doubts that I could do it (or that it was even real).

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Hi! Welcome back! I'm glad you were able to reconnect with Fiora again!

 

First of all, visualization is not at all required for development. It's helpful for some people, but if you are satisfied with hearing Fiora speak then by all means focus on getting her vocal first. As for your dreams question, I happen to be unlucky and don't remember our dreams but other Tulpas have had a lot of success and even lucid dream.

 

I wonder if it would help if you asked Firoa simple "yes/no" questions and if she responds with words or gestures, then that's progress. If she gets sleepy or needs a break, give her a little space and try again later.

 

My host struggled a lot with parroting fears and one thing that helped her get through it is realizing that it's okay if my opinions or thoughts line up with hers. It just means I like those thoughts and choose to associate myself with them. Another thing that helped her a lot is keeping her mind voice quiet so she can hear me speak when I'm talking.

 

If Fiora starts getting excited about something and loses interest the next day, don't panic. She's just trying to find out what she's interested in. It may take a few months for Fiora to stabilize her interests and likes, so don't panic if her decisions change rapidly.

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

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Lucilyn wrote a post that might help you think about vocality better: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-vocality-from-tulpas-perspective

 

The important thing being that it might not sound like your tulpa right away! Your brain really has to figure this stuff out, but your expectations and intent (and giving your tulpa a chance even if it's not 100% convincing) is the key to them actually getting to that point. Fear and doubt is always counterproductive! Save your worries for when they're vocal and can reassure you themselves!

 

Also yeah wow, welcome back, I didn't realize I was reading posts from before Lumi even found this forum at first!

Hi guys, plain text is just me now! We've each got our own accounts: me, Tewi, Flandre, and Lucilyn. We're Luminesce's tulpas.

Here's our "Ask Thread", and here's our Progress Report (You should be able to see all of our accounts on the second page if you want)

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Thx to everyone for the wishes, the help, and just for reading our progress report.

 

I didn't update about everything in my comeback post, so here's a couple things. As it was the case years ago, I'm still bad at visualizing anything, but I don't worry about it anymore and simply focus on narrating a lot every day (but still try to visualise for a bit once in a while). Also, I'm opting to not parrot for now (I might try later if it takes weeks or months and I have no more progress), but since I already heard her once last week, I think it might work if I just press on and on and on.

 

I haven't successfully heard her again since last week, but I feel her presence and I know when she's listening to me (and I think I can feel when my brain is making new connections and stuff thanks to the head pressures, or so I assume). And I don't think I'll have any problem discerning if a thought comes from her, IF it does feel like it did last week (it was 100% coming from her, it was that obvious when it happened).

 

So for now I'll continue focusing on her every day and narrate a lot. I'm currently optimistic about getting her vocal soon.

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  • 2 weeks later...

3 weeks later, I still haven't heard her talk a 2nd time.

 

Until MAYBE last night in a lucid dream. I'd like your opinions about if it was her or not.

Here's a couple details that might change your answer to my question:

 

1. As I said, Fiora isn't vocal yet. She only talked once so far, and it was 3 weeks ago (when she said "Hello.", which was amazing but she hasn't talked again since)

 

2. Had my first Lucid Dream last night (well, first one to ever last more than 2 seconds, as I usually just wake up because of excitement). Been reading about LD this week and told Fiora that if I ever LD I would try to call for her, to see if she can join me in the dream. So after making sure I wouldn't wake up and the LD would last, my first thought was to call for her, and I did.

 

3. Last evening during narration, I was asking her questions like what's the first thing she'd like to do once she's vocal, and also once we could switch (yeah I know we're still far from switching, but trying to make her think for herself with these questions, you know.)

 

4. After calling for her in the dream, I couldn't see her, but after maybe 10 seconds I suddenly heard a female voice that may or may not be her scream "Smash!!!" (as in Super Smash Bros.)

 

5. Then I wondered if it could be her, and thought maybe I should try to set up a TV and stuff for some Smash (lol) but I woke up while setting up. (Yeah I know I could have made it appear all ready but I'm still a noob lucid dreamer, lol.)

 

Now I'm wondering if it was just a random voice in the dream (after you get lucid, can other characters still talk? All other characters in the dream stopped talking after I became lucid, so I'm wondering if it's a general rule in lucid dreams or not?) or if it was Fiora and that maybe she was answering my question from last evening. (Also, her only saying "Smash!!!" seems to work with a tulpa that still can't make full sentences, as the only thing she ever said so far is "Hello.".

 

So, do you guys think it was her or not? (I guess having lucid dream experience would help to answer)

 

And while I take the time to make a post here, I'd also like to ask if it happens often that there's a long time between a tulpa's first word, and her second word? (Asking since it's been 3 weeks, and I do force a lot every day)

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It very well could have been her talking. I remember that early on in my creation, we had a few lucid dreams that I would use to communicate with host. It's a good way to break past the barrier of "this is parroting," since it's more obvious in a lucid dream setting when it isn't.

 

The best thing to know about vocality is that it isn't about some random, alien voice that starts talking to you, even if that's what it's like in a dream. It's more like the tulpa takes control of your own thought processes and uses them to verbalize their own. Don't expect something spectacularly special, just allow her to use your mind to think, and then you'll likely reach vocality faster.

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Thanks for answering!

 

What do you mean by "allow her to use your mind to think" ? And how would I do that? ;o

 

I don't remember doing anything special 3 weeks ago when she did talk and say "Hello." to me (and it did feel "alien", I didn't have any intent behind creating that mindvoice so I could tell right away she was the one talking.)

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