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Phenom and Fiora :: Progress Report


Phenom

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Normally when I can hear Fiora, Fiora creates a raw thought (tulpish) and then needs some help from me to put it into a mindvoice, sometimes more than other times. For example, sometimes I put it into words for her completely, and some other times it feels more like teamwork, or something like that (like she needs a small push from me to word it). And then, there's the times when she manages to create the mindvoice totally by herself, without any help at all, which I think is why I think I get the "alien feeling", since I didn't have any intention or effort at all on my end. At least, that's the impression I got when it happened about three hours ago.

 

Even with us, this is the case. Sometimes the mindvoice is unclear, but we choose who said it after the fact in those cases. If no one accepts it, it's dismissed as an intrusive thought. Congratulations on your progress, I don't think you're far from full vocality.

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Unfortunately, could only hear Fiora a little bit every day lately... like less than 10 words on most days. However, I'm pretty free for a whole week starting now, and will talk to Fiora a lot more throughout the entire week, so I'm hopeful we'll make some progress soon. The day I've heard Fiora the most clearly last week was when I did take the time to talk to her for 3 hours non stop, after all.

 

Also, I made the decision today that every time I watch a video on youtube, I'll have to talk to Fiora about it (like explain why I wanna watch it, and give opinions about the video's content after I've watched it). I'll try to remember that. I'll to the same thing with reddit: tell her why I'm interested in checking out such thread and opinion after checking it out (or during it). I've been spending too much time on these two websites in the last couple months, so I might as well make it useful, and maybe I'll watch and read a bit less stuff if I have to take the time to do all that, which would also be good.

 

And something I forgot to write about last week, not sure which day it was on, but one evening when I closed my eyes to visualize, there was a lot going on on it's own. It wasn't vivid or anything, simply similar to whenever I try to visualize with my mindeye. I just had to stay focused on my mindeye and could see myself visiting a lot of places very quickly, at one time a train passed and I hoped on it to let it guide me. I guess that was some kind of hypnagogia? I didn't even feel that tired or anything, and it was different than the vivid hypnagogic visualizations I've seen in the past.

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And something I forgot to write about last week, not sure which day it was on, but one evening when I closed my eyes to visualize, there was a lot going on on it's own. It wasn't vivid or anything, simply similar to whenever I try to visualize with my mindeye. I just had to stay focused on my mindeye and could see myself visiting a lot of places very quickly, at one time a train passed and I hoped on it to let it guide me. I guess that was some kind of hypnagogia? I didn't even feel that tired or anything, and it was different than the vivid hypnagogic visualizations I've seen in the past.

 

Interesting. We can basically do the same thing like you describe and it becomes like a mystery adventure. I haven't thought much about it to know what it could be more than adventures in the mindscape, but I guess it could be worth exploring a bit more if it's something that interests you guys.

 

Other than that, you can never get enough narration. Talking about stuff with each other builds character, it goes both ways. You seem to do well.

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Hypnagogic can be as subtle as normal visualization at times. For us it sometimes 'enhances' visualization rather than being super glorious amazing as it can also be sometimes.

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  • 2 weeks later...

As some of you know already, I created a topic for Fiora where I proxy for her, called Fiora Vocality Project, in the lounge section. The goal is to help get Fiora totally vocal faster with it.

 

Unfortunately, been busy visiting family members and parents lately, because holidays, so didn't have as much time for Fiora, so hearing her has been getting harder lately. Just barely managed to get to hear her a bit after days of trying.

 

Also, today is Fiora's 6th anniversary, if we wanna count from Day 1 of her creation process, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Fiora! (I told her directly already, but I felt like mentioning it here.)

 

Oh yeah, one last thing I could mention, in a dream, once, I sat all relaxed in a hot bath, and at that moment I could hear Fiora talk to me (imposed voice). I woke up soon after. Makes me wonder if I should try it irl, I always only take showers. Would be awesome if it did improve communication. One way or another, it was a fun dream, too bad it ended so quickly.

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  • 2 weeks later...
(edited)

First post on the new version of the forum! I'm glad they could keep the threads intact. On the other forum having no avatar was fine since it was discreet, but now instead I had a giant ugly purple square as a default avatar, so I quickly found something temporary to replace it. It's a fanart of Shulk and Fiora looking happy. Once Fiora is more vocal and I create an account for her, I guess I'll have to find a new avatar without Fiora in it so it won't be confusing, lol.

 

Last week, one evening that I could hear Fiora well enough, I played Go against Fiora for the first time (well, first time I play any game against her at all). She won by 0.5 points, which is insanely close (for those that never played Go, can't have a closer match than that, 0.5 is the minimum difference in points two players can have). That was a very interesting and fun experience. I tried playing Go against myself in the past but never managed to have a proper game: I always tend to identify as one of the two "players" more than the other one, and then play better moves for that color, which makes the game predictable and boring. Didn't encounter that problem since Fiora was there to do her best finding the best moves possible for the other color.

 

We actually tried playing once before (during the summer) but I couldn't hear Fiora so ended up not being able to even play one stone for her back then. I've always wanted to play Go with Fiora so it was a very pleasing experience. Actually, going back to the first time I learned about tulpas in 2013, during the two weeks that followed and was debating either to make one or not, one of my thoughts was that I'd have someone with whom to play Go, so when it came to choosing a form for my tulpa, one of the contenders was Sai from Hikaru no Go (Sai is a ghost - and Go player - that only Hikaru can see/hear) but then came to the conclusion I could still play Go with my tulpa anyway even if they have another form, so I ended up choosing Fiora.

 

By the way, if we ever compete in a Go tournament (I used to, even won a trophy once), would it be ethical to team up together and debate the moves we play, or should only one of us participate? I'm sure there's no rules against it, but would that still be cheating? lol

 

Other than that, I'm trying to find ways to interact more with Fiora, and one idea I've got is to play video games together. I've tried talking to Fiora while gaming before to no success ; I either have nothing to say after a couple minutes (Pokémon), or have to concentrate on the game too much and then make like one short comment to her every 30 minutes (Smash or any "real-time" game)... so the solution I've come to is... Fire Emblem: Mystery of the Emblem. The old ones are completely turn-based (with no free roam sections unlike Three Houses, which could be distracting), it's a strategy game so we'll have a lot to discuss at any given time, and we'll treat it as our first video game we really play together (as opposed to me playing a game and she watches me play), our mutual save file. We'll start playing as soon as the usb SNES controllers I bought on amazon arrive.

Edited by Phenom
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(edited)

There is one more thing I'm gonna start this week. I've been writing short stories starring us for a while, but it usually stays very normal slice of life stuff and with just us. I think maybe it would be even better to put Fiora in various situations (with other NPCs and actual things that happens) to see how she'd react and what she'd say in said situations, in order to learn to know her better (in addition to just getting to know her by hanging out in everyday life). Fiora would play the role of her fictional past self in those stories, and take place in the past compared to the timeline of our usual slice of life stories. Fiora has been liking the idea.

 

I wonder if I should just improvise the stories even if they'll have a bit more to them, or if I should create and plan the NPCs and scenario ideas in advance. Right now I always improvise and not even save the stories (as they would be uninteresting to reread anyway). Does it matter? Would it be more effective the more I take the stories seriously and actually try to make them interesting, or is quantity more important than quality when it comes to writing as a forcing method?

Edited by Phenom
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