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Trying Not Hard Enough Inc.


2el

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Hey there. Sorry for no introduction in Intro Thread, I just thought I could insert my introduction in here.

 

My name is Evgeny (yev-ghe-niy) and I discovered tulpamancy about a year ago, read about it a little bit and came to a conclusion that I won't be able to handle such a responsibility. Now I'm having not the best time in my life, I changed a lot; I was happy, kind and pleasant, but now I've become rude, sassy and very, very insecure.

 

So I kind of rediscovered this whole tulpa thing lately and thought that creating a tulpa will help me to change back to not being an ass and overcome this particularly bad episode of my life. Those things are my primary goals, but also I think having such a close friend is going to be very good (not exactly sure how to say that). So yeah.

 

I decided that I'm not going to make a "preset" tulpa, I'm going to leave the form, name and most of personality up to it, though I'm not very sure that is possible. So, is that possible? If it is, will I have problems with that?

 

I started yesterday (or was it the day before?), wrote down the basic personality, narrated a little, and I think that's pretty much it. I've been reading a lot of guides lately and I'm all confused, kinda at the cross-roads here: what to do and how to do it best? Can you give me some tips?

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I recommend reading EVERYTHING. Some of the biggest questions you'll have are normally found in some guide. I'm still a n00b myself, but if prior experience with any undertaking has shown me time and again that is the best way to go about that. Just remember to take everything with a grain of salt as what may work for them may not work for you, which is why I suggested reading a lot.

“Life was a wheel, its only job was to turn, and it always came back to where it started.” - Stephen King

 

“No great thing is created suddenly.” -Stephen King

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Read everything EXCEPT anything that is by Fede.

 

Yeah, I kinda got that, but I don't really understand why exactly. I guess it's the extensive use of parroting and puppeting in the guides.

 

Oh, and just some clarification. I've seen people saying that tulpae can form their own personality, choose their name by themselves (or with some help), or assume the form they're comfortable with, but I've never seen someone mentioning that all at once. Something tells me that I'm goddamn stupid and can't make simple conclusions, but still, I am not very sure.

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A quick way to proceed when confused is to think about your options, imagine doing each and notice how you feel about them, then do the one that feels best for you. This is also a way to increase your self confidence and self awareness, which could serve you well in your continued tulpamancer-ing :-)

 

Thanks for sharing your experience!

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Just wanted to say that Fede's guide is most certainly worth a read. If you are comfortable with it, and you think it might work for you, then go for it, if you want.

There is nothing inherently wrong with it.

"If this can be avoided, it should. If it can't, then it would be better if it could be. If it happened and you're thinking back to it, try and think back further. Try not to avoid it with your mind. If any of this is possible, it may be helpful. If not, it won't be."

 

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I've been thinking about what guide should I refer to, and decided to go back to Dazvolt's guide (the second one) at tulpa.ru, but it's kind of down right now, so if anyone has a backed up version of this guide - PM me. I chose this guide because it's closer to what I'm aiming for, and reading in my native tongue is a little bit easier.

 

So, now for the actual progress. I've been trying to refer to my tulpa as a gender-neutral being, but it's INCREDIBLY hard to do this in my native tongue, and most of the time I unconsciously I referred to it as a "she", so I guess I'll stick with that.

 

Oh, and I think I started to receive some kind of response from my tulpa. It's kinda weird, though, head tickles. I've read about head pressures, but tickles are mentioned on this forum, like, two times. I've been forcing some "morality leash" trait to my tulpa, and a couple of times when I got a little bit angry my head tickled. I'm trying not to throw it out like some coincidence and just asking for some piece of advice about that.

 

EDIT: Crap, I should really learn how to use search.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Long time no update, there wasn't much to report. Sorry.

Alright, so, a little disclaimer. The following post MAY be controversial, MAY cause some disagreements and be downright dumb.

 

Most of the time I've been narrating, as I found it pretty easy, not even thinking about actually conversating with my tulpa. After some time, I found some people who gave me some interesting articles to read. They said that you are able to hear your tulpa nearly from the start of your forcing, so, I gave it a try. And I actually heard answers to my questions in my head. Not very different from my opinions and kind of hard to differ from my own thoughts, but there was someone else thinking, I'm pretty sure of that. And I'm pretty sure I wasn't parroting. I was amazed that it worked, as I wasn't forcing really hard, just some passive forcing here and there, so, obviously, I was skeptical. Hell, I am skeptical about it even now, but I gotta throw all my doubts away, 'cause isn't it one of the main things in tulpa creating? So yeah.

 

I am not propagating this kind of practice, this is just an experiment, and I want to see how it will work out. If you are really, REALLY interested in this - throw me a PM.

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