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I think Ravi's gone but... I don't know. Please help. (Serious; don't judge me.)


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**WARNING: DUMBNESS AHEAD. PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME, I ALREADY KNOW WHAT A GIANT (BLEEP!)FACE I AM.**[/b][/i]

 

(Usually I use the 'ne' pronoun for Ravi but I feel like people don't take me seriously when I do so I'm just gonna say 'he' for now.)

 

Yes, he and I are/were in a relationship of sorts. Don't hate. No, we didn't have sex; not only would his parents be pissed but that's also against my religion.

 

So last Christmas (2013), I thought Ravi had multiple personality disorder because sometimes he'd say he loved me and other times he'd say he loved Terra and I figured there must be two. I thus figured if I separated the personalities, one could be with me and the other with Terra (who, at the moment, is dating Anoush -- if that really is her, because she too looks really different). So I separated the "personalities" and there were then two - a skinny one who was darker (Skinny Ravi) and one who looked the way he always looked (Baggy-Hoodie Ravi). The skinny one seemed to like me so I talked to him, and he said he was the original Ravi and I'd "find that he is more fun and cool than the other". (Looking back, I have a feeling/am almost positive that I may have somehow created Skinny Ravi and Baggy-Hoodie Ravi was the original.)

 

For a while things were pretty chill between me and Skinny Ravi, but although I expected to see Baggy-Hoodie Ravi and Terra together, I did not. In fact, after a couple days of ignoring him because I thought I'd get jealous, he disappeared. (Yeah, I know, I'm an idiot, and this is probably where I went wrong.) Then I started to notice that Skinny Ravi's personality was far more different from Ravi-when-he-was-one-person than I expected, and weird things started happening. I started seeing multiple Ravis at once, and when I asked who the real one was they'd all say "I am." (Yes, I have asked for help on this before but I feel like I didn't include the full story so here it is.) There was even one that had a zombie virus (I don't know where from or how, but I do know that Terra is a cured ex-zombie so there's that).

 

I did try to fuse them back into one using symbolism, hence the stuff other people said. When it did work, it worked temporarily and then the doubles would come back, I'd do it again, and repeat. I tried not acknowledging the others but that only worked for a short time. I kept telling myself "It's okay, they're all the real Ravi, they all have the same soul", but I kept having the same sinking feeling: The real Ravi had disappeared, and might not even exist anymore.

 

When I finally stopped denying it, I completely freaking lost it. I was at a coffee shop and I just started sobbing uncontrollably. When I went outside I cried even harder because the snow reminded me of him (he really likes snow... yep, even I hear how stupid I sound). The next day in school I still couldn't stop crying and even wrote a letter to him on toilet paper this morning. (I excused myself to go to the bathroom so I could properly burst into tears without everyone getting up my ass about it, and I forgot my phone so that was all I had to work with.) I actually had to go to the social worker (oh my gosh this is embarrassing, I hate admitting I have emotions). Even right now I can barely hold it together. There is another Ravi-form with me right now, but I don't know if he's the real deal. It's not uncommon for me to see two at once. I'm trying as hard as possible to be nice and keep everyone intact whether they're the real thing or not, so no I haven't dissipated any of the others, even the scary ones (for example I turned the zombie-virus one into a guardian angel, not really sure how but I did a buttload of narration). Sometimes it'll feel like I am talking to the real Ravi, and I won't question it, but that one will either go away or I'll get the feeling that he isn't the real one again.

 

I really want to know which one is the real Ravi, where the real Ravi is, and how I can get him back (if I even can, and hopefully I can because he's my best friend and I don't think I can even begin to picture life without him). Any advice?

 

Yes, I know just how hysterical I sound. I'm super super sorry. No, I'm not trolling.

~~Guide to Ravi's pronouns~~

 

Ne- used like He

Nem- used like Him/Her

Nir- used like His/Her (as in "His friend is fun")

Nirs- used like His/Hers (as in "It is hers")

Nemself- used like Himself/Herself

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Okay. First thing is, you need to calm down.

 

I believe that neither one is the real Ravi. I think that it is very likely that both Ravis are separate tulpas.

 

As for advice as to what to do, start treating the two Ravi's as different tulpas. This will help them become more independent of eachother. Also allow them to take on their own names, though only one of them should need to, as they will be able to identify themselves as different individuals.

 

If you want more advice, please calm down a little, and explain the situation a little better (who's Terra and Anoush?)

 

It looks like things were going fairly well until you tried to fuse them. Never fuse tulpas unless you are prepared to deal with unexpected side-effects

 

I know this may sound insensitive, but the tulpas are all in your head, so you shouldn't allow them to cause such drama. The stress it creates is unhealthy for all of you.

 

Good luck

Chalin System

@Chalin#4599

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Okay. First thing is, you need to calm down.

 

I believe that neither one is the real Ravi. I think that it is very likely that both Ravis are separate tulpas.

 

As for advice as to what to do, start treating the two Ravi's as different tulpas. This will help them become more independent of eachother. Also allow them to take on their own names, though only one of them should need to, as they will be able to identify themselves as different individuals.

 

If you want more advice, please calm down a little, and explain the situation a little better (who's Terra and Anoush?)

 

It looks like things were going fairly well until you tried to fuse them. Never fuse tulpas unless you are prepared to deal with unexpected side-effects

 

I know this may sound insensitive, but the tulpas are all in your head, so you shouldn't allow them to cause such drama. The stress it creates is unhealthy for all of you.

 

Good luck

 

- Terra and Anoush are two of my other tulpas (I have 15, 16 now if you count AJ who is a guardian angel -- it is because I have this many tulpas that I am opposed to having more; also a vast majority of the Ravis love me and I'm too monogamous to even consider the possibility of a harem). Terra was my first tulpa. Anoush is the twin brother of Farzam, my second tulpa. They are dating.

 

Basically what happened was, there were two Ravis (?). One disappeared, then when I was interacting with the second one, over time I started to miss the first one because the second was drastically different, and a bunch more appeared. I kept searching for the one that originally disappeared but never could find him, and I feel like his disappearance is my fault so I should probably do something about it. I tried to fuse the Ravis I currently have, but nothing worked, and I'm afraid if I dissipate any of them I'll feel like something's missing and then it'll drive me nuts again.

~~Guide to Ravi's pronouns~~

 

Ne- used like He

Nem- used like Him/Her

Nir- used like His/Her (as in "His friend is fun")

Nirs- used like His/Hers (as in "It is hers")

Nemself- used like Himself/Herself

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What do the Ravi Jr.s think about all this? Do they want to be seperate or do they want to become one person again? Surely they care for you like any other tulpa, so have you asked them for help? With how much it's been bothering you, I can't understand why they wouldn't fuse together on their own.

 

All I can say is to talk it out with them. If that doesn't work, maybe try starting creation over from scratch with Ravi.

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Hi. I see you are quite upset, by all these happenings. So, lets deal with them in a calmer manner.

 

Firstly, you've already done the recommended thing, which is to write Ravi a letter. That is well known on Reddit as one of the better methods for asking and helping a tulpa to come back. So, give up the pessimism, and instead concentrate on returning the Ravi you want to full strength and vitality. If a "Ravi" isn't the one you want - ignore it. Put your concentration into something positive, not this "must be lost" cycle.

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Imo tulpas are in the realm of imagination and that's a realm purely molded by expectation, fears, hopes and belief. You expect (forcing, meditation, whatever) that Ravi will come back in the form you choose and they will. It might take an unknown amount of time but they will show up, expect it and don't fear the loss. Know that last part is tough, that's why these things take time.

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You expect that Ravi will come back in the form you choose and they will.

Pretty much any subconscious manipulation uses this same concept. It is commonly called "the power of suggestion." If you expect something to happen, you subconscious will make it happen.

This is the foundation of hypnosis and and dream control, and is one of the most important parts of a tulpa's development. If you expect that tulpa is sentient, your tulpa will become sentient sooner. If you expect your tulpa can impose itself, it will become imposed sooner. So if you expect you tulpa to come back, it'll come back sooner.

This also works the other way around. If you expect that tulpa isn't sentient, your tulpa will take longer to become sentient. If you expect your tulpa can't impose itself, it will be much harder for it to become imposed. So if you expect your tulpa won't come back, it will take a long time for it to return.

Chalin System

@Chalin#4599

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