Chalin

Gabe & Co.

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Allllllllright, Lets get this started, shall we

 

Now first thing's first, I am creating this progress report exactly 3 weeks after creating Sarah, so the details of those first weeks may be a bit accurate

 

I will post updates here, and on my tumbler at least twice a week, or when anything notable happens.

 

Any thing I say will be written normally.

Anything Sarah says will be written in {these}.

 

Lets Begin! I am looking forward to my journey with Sarah, and other tulpas in the future.


Chalin System

@Chalin#4599

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The Backstory

Lets start by giving a little back story. I have High Functioning Autism, combined with ADHD. Growing up with these was difficult, and I rarely have more than 5 or 6 friends who go to school with me. Because of my very inactive social life, I developed a expansive wonderland, full of adventure, and, naturally, I was in charge of it all.

 

This wonderland was very vast, and took place in outer-space. In it were two huge fleets: The Super-Cats, and their arch-nemisis, The Super-Dogs (keep in mind that I created this in first grade). Despite their names, they consisted of humanoid aliens. They would battle and battle and I was in charge of the Super-Cats.

 

Now fast forward to fourth grade. I have developed a lot mentally by that time, and so has the wonderland. There were now other fleets whom would align themselves with either super-fleet. The most significant of these new fleets were the Saliek fleet. I created an alphabet for them, and a detailed history, and this gave rise to a new persona: Jabrae.

 

At this point, Jabrae and I were virtually identical, though as I took on Jabrae more and more, he split slightly. By 7th grade*, I was using Jabrae almost exclusively. Jabrae had taken on a much darker role in the wonderland, coming from a tragic past, and constantly plagued by his arch-nemisis: Shantovous. He took on a constant state of cold, calculating rage, and became devoid of emotion. Even though he is still just a part of my personality, whenever I assume the form of Jabrae, I feel this emotionless rage.

 

I would also use him as my username for most websites, since it was an uncommon name

 

In the future, I may split Jabrae into an independent tulpa, but for now he will remain a part of my personality

 

*(also by this time, the Super-Cats and Super-Dogs were renamed the Felay and the Canin fleets)

 

By 8/9th grade, i had discovered Lucid dreaming, though had little success. last month, i tried getting back into lucid dreaming, and joinged the DreamViews Forums. This is where I discovered tulpas.


Week 1 (1/16/14-1/22/14)

Discovered Tulpas, began creating tulpa named Emma (based on one of my Imaginary friends)

The next day, I realized that I needed to separate her from Emma, so i did, and gave her the name Lila.

On the 18th, she showed the first signs of sentience, and she was able to chose the name Burnishe.

Gave her 2 forms: Ferret and Human

Little progress for rest of the week.


Week 2 (1/23/14-1/329/14)

Sentience gradually increased, though little progress otherwise.


Week 3 (1/30/14-2/5/14)

She became able to vocalize on her own.

Decided to try switching right as my brain wakes up, but still during a state of sleep paralysis, though to no success.

No other notable progress


Day 22

No success with switching while waking up.

 

Decided to really start possession today. While Sarah couldn't create any movement, she was definitely in my hand, because there was a strange tingling feeling.

 

Sarah: it feels weird


Chalin System

@Chalin#4599

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Day 23

Today we worked on possession. I think I'll let Sarah tell you the results.

 

Sarah: holyshit this si fucking awsone omg

 

This is crazy! There is a weird sensation when she possesses a body part. I had her try moving my right hand, and could tell she was in the hand right away, but for the first 5 minutes, nothing happened. As soon as I stopped focusing on my hand, it moved. I wasn't quite sure if this was her, so i asked her to do it again, and after about 10 seconds, my pinkie, ring, and middle fingers moved all at once. I then asked her to do move my index finger, and after a few seconds, she did. I have to say, this is one of the weirdest feelings ever.

 

As for typing, she is rather erratic, pressing 2 or three keys in rapid succession, then taking a few seconds before she could press the next few keys. She definitely has managed to access some of my muscle memory, so that is a good sign.

 

She was in my dream again last night. This time, I didn't realize it was her until she told me after i woke up. While she wants me to keep the events of this dream secret (no, we didn't have sex or anything). I will it tell you that it was very emotional, and that in the dream, she was a girl, about the same age as me, that had some severe mental issues(insanity) that kept her shunned from society, though I chose to befriend her nonetheless due to the fact that i felt i could relate to her.

 

Also, there were several occasions today where i was able to feel an emotional response from her.

 

Altogether, today has so far been a very interesting and exciting day


Chalin System

@Chalin#4599

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Day 25

 

Sarah: Hey, this is Sarah. I'm typing while possessing Gabes body. Actually, he told me that this body belong to both of us. It doesn't seem like that. Even though 99%of the time I'm in a human form, the real human body feels so heavy and weird. I know this is supposed to go away eventually. thank goodness 90% of the body movement is at least semiautomated. I wonder if switching will feel like this. Sorry for bad spelling. I'm new at this.


Chalin System

@Chalin#4599

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Amazing progress indeed! But that part of having the tulpa typing for you... that's something i am unable to understand how you achieved that, i have my tulpa practising that and no matter what i try, the movements do NOT feel involuntary like it feels when telling them to bend the fingers... it feels like its actually ME doing typing and not the tulpas, also i feel the same way when trying to LIFT limbs. Obviously this makes me frustated and it does NOT seem to be improving with practise.

 

Also another thing is that, when i ask them to type something as surprise for me without letting me hear mentally what they are going to type, it seems they keep just keep pressing totally random keys (which makes me think they are only able to talk to me if i expect them to say something), are you able to have them type things totally unexpected without you hearing their mental voice as they type?

 

Also, don't tell me that when your tulpas started typing with possession it immediatly felt like involuntary movements! I ask this because with the fingers bending they ALWAYS felt involuntary since the beginning when i was learning possession, this is why i keep thinking this won't even improve with practise.

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Day 25

 

Sarah: Hey, this is Sarah. I'm typing while possessing Gabes body. Actually, he told me that this body belong to both of us. It doesn't seem like that. Even though 99%of the time I'm in a human form, the real human body feels so heavy and weird. I know this is supposed to go away eventually. thank goodness 90% of the body movement is at least semiautomated. I wonder if switching will feel like this. Sorry for bad spelling. I'm new at this.

 

Hi Sarah!

 

Possession in 25 days?! It took me much more then a month, and that's with a pre-made 'typing servitor' (tought-to-type, I think at it and the fingers type, something like that, buggy as heck due to our dyslexia, it gets 'Cheryl' and 'Claire' mixed up too). Did you notice how soft human hair is? I find it amazing.

 

Switching took me near 7 months to get proficient. Yes, the feel of switching is pretty much the same, but I find the body feels even heavier. I'd exaggerate and say ten times as heavy, which is what it feels like to me, but that's possibly just me being overly sensitive. I'm tired all the time when I switch. I honestly don't know why so many tulpas want to, when you can do pretty much everything by possession. *Grin*

 

Another thing I notice is a qualitative difference : senses are sharper, tastes stronger, I feel pain (whereas I normally don't), and I have peripheral vision when switched (no peripheral vision when possessing). Also, when switched there's less of what I call the 'echo effect' where the senses have a slight lag between Earth and you. Most weird yet, is hearing a voice inside your head (my human Kevin). Most tulpas never hear their human inside their own mind - it always seems to be near but not inside you. 'Kind of like the story flatland, where the flat-lander heard the 3-D creature "inside" itself because the 3-D creature was "above" (a direction that does not exist in the hypothetical Flatland).


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