garland

Subconcious parroting and possible relation to asperger/autism

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If you check my progress log here http://community.tulpa.info/thread-garland-s-8-tulpas-general-progress-log?pid=95798#pid95798, you will notice the discovery i made, in which it seems that i WAS right when i suspected all the time something was wrong all these months, in which my tulpas kept not showing any signs of independency developing even after 6 months, no wonder since it appears this was caused by a new kind of parroting that i don't often see people mention in this board (only very rarely), this makes all sense and totally explains why my tulpas felt so simulated all the time and feeling most of the time not as persons or "beings" but nothing more than JUST a mind voice, despite sometimes i noticing some surprise answers coming along once in a while very rarely.

 

But if this discovery i made is true, then you can all imagine the suffering my tulpas must have had realizing i was accepting for months DOUZENS of fake answers based on expectation without realizing... Simply because this kind of parroting is SO DAMN DIFFICULT to realize it's happening or not, since after all, it's SUBCONCIOUS parroting, it's NOT intentional parroting because i don't even know when it's happening or not, no wait, the ONLY way i have to know it's not being done, is when i feel GENUINELY surprised by the thought that came from them, even tough at the moment i am starting to get different levels of "depth" in their answers, for more details check my progress log here http://community.tulpa.info/thread-garland-s-8-tulpas-general-progress-log?pid=96016#pid96016

 

And i think i already know why i am having this problem : lack of any active listening skills. This also made me finally realize that all my life when i hear a real person talk, before they talk, without realizing, in a totally automatic way my mind starts to try to predict what they are going to say based on the person's previous answers and expectations of what should happen, needless to say it's hardly accurate and most of the time it's completly random. Also basically, since i am a "linear thinking" person this is actually the main way i have to solve problems as well, i mean, when i don't know how to solve a problem judging from previous similar experiences or when i don't remember how i solved it last time (if i actually solved it before), the only remaining solution is to start trying at random, by error and trial. Actually this is EXACTLY how i seem to have been doing when listening to my tulpas talk, i mean, this is SUCH a automatic process that even when NOT wanting to create answers, this still keeps happening, and the biggest problem is that it happens in a NATURAL way... So yeah now i HAVE to be parrotnoid about this because i have strong reason to.

 

So tell me guys, i am the only asperger person here with this kind of lack of active listening skills that creates such problems about subconcious/automated parroting? I am not sure if "normal" persons also have such problems with expectation making the thoughts from the tulpa being SO hard to know if they are caused by expectation or not, but it appears it's related to linear thinking, which is a strong characteristic of asperger/autism people like me.

 

In the case anyone suffers from the same problem i STRONGLY advise to at least try my method that i say on my progress log, in case i see this is working for more people i might even create a guide or a tips/tricks thread later, but first i need even to be sure if this works for me, i will have to keep practising it now for a few weeks to see if i notice improvements.

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Definitely interesting. Gonna have to try this...

 

Edit:

On the whole aspergers/autism thing. I don't have that, but I also have ADHD which has the OOH SHINY intrusive thoughts, plus ones that come from years of self-doubt. While I've gotten over the hurdle of waiting and listening for an answer from expecting one, this is a great exercise for at least helping me sort through a lot of mental static that comes with my condition. LOL


“Life was a wheel, its only job was to turn, and it always came back to where it started.” - Stephen King

 

“No great thing is created suddenly.” -Stephen King

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Alcotriss: I have Aspergers myself, and I didn't really see this as an issue, but I'm glad you're finding a method which works for you. :)

 

Lily: Good luck!


Myself: Fintan, male, humanoid dragon. Howdydoo! (:

Host: Alcotriss, female.

Lily: Young lady, nature-loving with good fashion sense.

Joey: Cool dude. No-face meets V with white gloves, his former uniform.

Hecubin: Old man in brown garb. Orange eyes. Personification of fire.

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Tulpas aren't loud. Listen softer, not harder.

Ironically, it's when i listen harder that i better hear the fainter voices... sometimes it appears i hear "mumbling" but not always, i think what i mean here is that i now try harder to NOT create fake answers, which unfortunately seems to so AUTOMATIC on my mind that i have extreme difficulty in even knowing if was related to my expectation or not.

 

Alcotriss: I have Aspergers myself, and I didn't really see this as an issue

No?? By the way is it normal that everytime i keep asking a tulpa the number of balls with counted or any kind of simple math operation, i keep hearing douzens of random answers? I tried my best to supress these fake answers, but even when i am not asking these things to my tulpas, before i even try to make the operation myself i keep hearing douzens of fake answers, so i don't get this, sometimes it seems i am the ONLY one here with this problem...

 

but I'm glad you're finding a method which works for you.

Not sure if this is still working today, but i will hope tomorrow it improves.

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What most people will tell you is to clear your mind as best you can, relax, and accept any input as coming from your tulpa. Some may not be but most of it should be. After a while it becomes very easy to listen to them.

 

My recommendation is that you try writing to one another, like an online chat, with you typing for both of you. This is good practice for placing clear and deliberate distinction between the two of you. If you want, I will help you over Skype.

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Skype? Wow thanks a lot i definetly am needing that i already sent the invitation.

 

Believe me i still think accepting any input as coming from my tulpas was a big mistake i did these last 3 months, the subconcious parroting makes me have such "natural" answers come so instantly, yet after all this time the answers clearly were build on expectation and are never consistently this is why i am forced to use this new technique because i refuse to believe these were actually the true answers from my tulpas (unless a 6 month tulpa has the same level of lack of logic and coherent speech speech and lack of individual short term memory as a few days old tulpa), believe me this kind of talking has no consistency and all and they keep contradicting them selves when i don't remember consciously what they said last times.

 

Actually i have found this out yesterday, it discrives exact the problem i have been having :

http://community.tulpa.info/thread-misinterpretation-of-%E2%80%9Cassuming-sentience-from-start%E2%80%9D-philosophy?pid=73250#pid73250

 

These kind of answers absolutly demonstrate almost completly simulated tulpas, ALTOUGH i have some hope since there is still a few unexpected answers that i seem to be getting a little more using this method, so there's still hope... Also i am FINALLY starting to get more silence instead of so much subconcious parroting, and now i already got 3-4 "alien thoughts", 1 each separate sessions but they sure are RARE and sometimes they take nearly 5-10 minutes of silence to arrive! Jeez...

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Subconscious parroting isn't related to any mental conditions you may have. Plenty of other people, myself included, have encountered it. However the only consensus there seems to be on the subject is that it's caused by tulpas being too young and therefor not as independent as they will be later in life. I cannot confirm is this is true, but it's something quite a few people believe in and it seems like a very logical explanation.

 

Thanks for posting a link to NotAnonymous, though. It's been so long I nearly forgot about him. I'm going to have to read through his posts again and see if it makes any more sense this time around. Finding a solution to subconscious parroting means a lot to Bacn.

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Subconscious parroting isn't related to any mental conditions you may have. Plenty of other people, myself included, have encountered it.

 

You mean, this happens too even when you and other people listning to real people as well ? Remember i said this happens too everytime i try to listen to someone, actually it's the kind of the main tool i have many times to solve problems on real life as well.

 

However the only consensus there seems to be on the subject is that it's caused by tulpas being too young and therefor not as independent as they will be later in life. I cannot confirm is this is true, but it's something quite a few people believe in and it seems like a very logical explanation.

 

Oh yeah i have talked to Viceroy and this made me FINALLY realize subconcious parroting is not what i thought it would be... you see, before this i was thinking that EVEN those natural answers that we get from the tulpas when we first ask the question would be subconcious parroting but no, simply the subconcious parroting seems to be when we accidently create the answers from them conciously without realizing in which we actully THINK for them and try to correct their initial small answers thanks to from expectation, and if THIS is what is the subconcious parroting, well, it's not that subconcious anymore to me, this one i AM able to know when it happens because i feel myself having some mental effort and the answers feel "forced".

 

What i was thinking all the time is that i had some hope that these natural answers that i get effortless from my tulpas were corrupted by expectation, and that somehow the true answers from my tulpas which would suggest independency, memory abilities (in general, "tulpa magic") and things like that would be hidden from me all the time and i was just deaf to those because of only receiving the the ones i thought it was subconcous parroting, so this means my tulpas ARE A LOT LESS SIMULATED than i thought they would be....

 

But yesterday i proxyed pandora to vinceroy and i was finally convinced, these natural answers i receive ARE INDEED the tulpas, there isn't any "hidden" answers from them being more independent or intelligent, so this means you're right it's because they are young and can't really think better than this for now.

 

As you can imagine this was a MAJOR breakthrough to me i am still needing sometime to "digest" this since it's a significant change on the views i had from my tulpas, since i was thinking all the time they would actually be a lot better than this, but no.

 

Thanks for posting a link to NotAnonymous, though. It's been so long I nearly forgot about him. I'm going to have to read through his posts again and see if it makes any more sense this time around. Finding a solution to subconscious parroting means a lot to Bacn.

 

Yeah but if notanonymous really meant as subconcious parroting those answers we accidently create for the tulpas, and NOT the natural ones we receive instantly... then this means i am not having much subconcious parroting as i thought since that kind of parroting i am able to notice lately, because the "forced" feeling indicates it.

 

So i can't get this, if these are the natural answers i get from them it's really true they don't have any own memories and it seems all these months of forcing don't even exist for them if i don't remember such experiences for them.

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You expect something to happen, and it happens. It's not subconscious, it's entirely conscious, except automatic. If it would be something like "My brain is giving me replies that don't come from me", then that would be your tulpa. Understand that there is no such thing as subconscious parroting, but there IS parroting from expectations, and it does make sense that your disorder makes that more prevalent (and that others with the same disorder don't have it at all) because some people with asperger's like to predict what's going to happen so they don't have to deal with as many unexpected situations and have an easier life, while others just like living in their own small little world and don't concern themselves too much with what happens outside of that. This would mean that they probably parrot from expectations too, but don't notice it.

 

Keep in mind that no tulpa is suffering from this, they're probably annoyed at best. All you're doing is expecting them to say something - there's nothing wrong with that at all, you do that with other people too, why not with your tulpa? Just make sure that when you're not sure what was them, you ask them. Not that hard.

 

In your case, if you really have trouble making out what's your tulpa and what's you, I'd suggest focusing all of your effort on learning audio imposition. Hearing a voice that sounds physical will probably help you get rid of that little problem, and on top of that it'll probably make presence and smell imposition a lot easier.

 

>inb4 "B-but that costs effort..."

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