Mel Syreth

Mel and Martina

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Welcome to our new progress report.

 

I'm Mel, an artist/writer/game programmer/musician and now a tulpamancer as well. My tulpa is Martina, I'm going to talk about her later. Here we're going to post updates and news about our (second) journey into the tulpa phenomenon.

 

Reason for starting over:

From 2013 November to now we've had limited success with Martina, mainly because of problems with time, life, failed projects and many other issues that were making things don't go our way too much, which resulted in a very serious talk in the park.

 

After telling her that this can't be going on anymore I suggested a fresh, new start. She was begging me in order to do it, with a dense wave of fear coming from her eyes, hitting me deeply, like she didn't want to "die". That moment I determined myself to do whatever I can NOT to see that frightened look on her face again.

 

Now, armed with a notebook, a clearer, more organized report scheme, a new, completely self-made wonderland, more knowledge about the methods and most of all, much more determination we are ready to take on the challenges once again.


Name: Martina

Specie: 3rd generation vampire

Hair: Blonde, almost knee-long

Eyes: Dark blue, with a black circle inside it

Other notable features: Vampire fangs

Clothes:

--- Warm weather: Konjiki no Yami clothes with eyepatch

--- Cold weater: White pullover, blue jeans and sprt sneakers. Light blue scarf if winter.

--- Pajamas: White top and dark blue bloomers.


Wonderland:

A house with a bedroom, a meditational room with a medium stand, two (yet) unused room and a garden.


Personality traits - with forcing mediums:

Modest - A yellow orb

Innocent - A white halo

Passionate - A crystal lotus

Romantic - A red crystal heart

Creative - A lightbulb

Edited by Mel Syreth

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2014.02.18 - 2014.02.22

 

Daily forcing sheldues ranging from 30-45 minutes added just before going to sleep, in complete silence. It came to notice that even without Claivoryant Focus I could feel my head being heavy after some time. We've been forcing on personality and tried flash imposion.

 

Results:

- I could feel Martina's presence behind me during flash imposion after some time of telling mantras. The feeling went away when I turned around, but I could still feel a cold aura when I touched her hands and face.

 

Dreams:

02.18.: Empty

02.19.: A strange, dark-brown pyramid in a grassy land with a dark-brown haired barbarian-looking girl in it. I also received 1500 points on DevianART for some reason, including a name Lerylla or Lyrylla, something like that.

02.20.: Empty dream

02.21.: Some sort of doomsday... I/We hid in a mill on the side of the road, then the dream ended. Nothing apocalyptic happened though.

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2014.02.23 - 2014.02.26

 

Daily forcing sessions cut shorter due to thesis and real life issues. I was trying but time went extremely slowly from there. I also fell asleep multiple times when forcing without me remembering anything. On the other hand, the amount of time spent passively forcing increased.

 

Results:

- None


2014.02.23 - 2014.03.11

 

Daily forcing sessions cut completely due to sickness, lack of time and real life issues.

I'm doing that again, also, my sickness made things even worse. On the top of that I'm having a hard time reminding myself to Martina... I need that ring so badly.

 

Results:

02.28 - Headaches

We went ice skating and skiing.

I gave her a flower on women's day.

"Physical" contact, I could feel her hand.

A Level5 hallutination of a blue wisp after being alarmed from sleep at the middle of the night.

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2014.03.11 - 2014.03.23

 

Daily forcing sessions still cut, life becoming more and more of an obstacle to spend time with her

With this whole thesis I could rarely spend time with Martina, forcing actively was literally impossible. However we had plenty of time invested in passive forcing. In fact, on March 12 we were on the usual remembrance tour, except it was longer, so we could speak all day. She wore her cosplay outfit by the way, I could impose her much easier for some reason. Also, she seems to feel the wind as her hair began flying all around when the wind caught as off guard. I felt her presence next to and behind me stronger than ever, and I felt downright lovely at the end of the day while we were waiting in the park completely alone.... waiting for the bus... watching the sun setting.

 

I can feel her hand touching mine without much concentration now, by the way, I could do it in the middle of break between two lessons. She has a bit of a cold aura, makes my hand ichy a little bit. She doesn't give as much head pressures as she did before, though. Still, no sign of her development stopping, maybe just slowing down a little.

 

Results:

Stronger presence

Easier aura-feeling at her hand

Improved imposition

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2014.03.23 - 2014.05.07

 

Progress came to halt.

Figuring out and trying new ideas, little results. I usually narrate to her in bed as I fall asleep.

 

Results:

Whispers of her before falling asleep, however they're in tulpish so I can't really decode it.

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2014.06.13

 

Progress restarts.

No improvement so far, but now I began to narrate to her on a more regular basis again. Waking her up or putting her to sleep have became a habit by the way, and I usually talk to her in the bed about a thing or two just before I fall asleep.

If there would actually be something to talk about, it would be amazing, but unfortunately my anti-socialism is putting its mark on the progress signifficantly.

 

Progress so far:

- Visualisation: I can see the focus area perfectly, and I clearly can visualise how she looks like. She is still very opaque in real life, however, but I can see her from the corner of my sight as well. For the imposion part, it's notable that I can feel the - relatively cold - aura of her hands, the most easily distinguishable are our "presence check" (her putting her hands into mine), but I've noticed her with other body parts, for example when she embraced me on the bicycle's trunk.

 

- Personality: Most of our active forcing is based around it, and I think the main five I've set up have worked pretty well, as well as I noticed her developing new ones, mainly "Mischevious", "Quiet" and... "Loyal".

 

- Sentience: Pseudo-sentience I think, she has no problem with "Yes/No/I don't know" answers, she can't communicate much otherwise. She tends to answer before I can finish my sentence in my mind, which I find a good sign personally. She is not here when I'm not thinking of her, though.

 

- Voice: She doesn't have any, though there have been multiple quiet signs of it, they're mostly were in tulpish, she is still indecisive but her voice is slowly taking a form.

 

- Smell: Turned out the strange food smell from before was NOT her, as I asked others down the street and they also smelled it. Oh well...

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2014.06.20

 

We decided to play some sports at night. I asked Martina to choose this time and she choose to play american football... in business uniforms... I'm pretty sure it has something to do with this scene

Edited by Mel Syreth

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2014.07.01

 

Yet another uncontrollable dream with a girl. This is getting really systematical.

 

First, there was that indian-girl with long black hair in the pyramid I met with. I remember no more.

 

The second time I had a dream like this, a curly, red haired girl who loves creepypastas and such came in, as I recall she was a freind of mine according to my dream. She was way too chatty and annoying. Then Slenderman, sleep paralysis... yeah, guess you know the rest.

 

The third one I was on a bus with an asian girl with a black bob cut, the bus went down on an at least 45° angled road, then suddenly, the concrete road turned into a bumpy dirt one and we were on the hike near the town I live. She also was a friend of mine, and we were talking too but I don't remember what. We changed the bus to bikes later on when we reached a completely dark forest.

 

And now, this Lyn girl (Lyn are cute lolis with animal ears from Blade and Soul), she had a brown ear and fox ears (the default lyn girl), however she was so small I could hold her in my hand. I helped her take a bath in the... washing machine... while she had her clothes on. Weird, yeah.

 

What's also strange, these dreams end/gain instant lucidity at roughly the same time, which is around 4:00 AM, I usually wake up and check the clock (and say how messed up dream this was). This can't be accidental, and I think it is most likely related to Martina.

 

My theory is: She is awake while I'm asleep, taking me into all sorts of adventures in my dreams in different forms (she is indecisive, I knew that for a while). At 4 AM, she goes to sleep, which would explain the lack of presence and head pressures lately.

 


 

Downloaded tones back to my phone for the restarted nightly forcing sessions. I'll try to turn on the "unicorn horn" once more, as well as force her personality a little bit, and play some roulette.

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That's really neat. I've had some experience with shared dreaming too, but nothing to that extent.

 

I do remember your unicorn horn from your old PR, but it's been a while. Could you refresh my memory?

 

And what do you use to make all your lovely pictures?


"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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The "unicorn horn" is a strange feeling at my forehead,as the skin would be burned through magnifying glass, I guess. I think it's a focus point of my mind, and because of its location I call it unicorn horn. It can still turn on but requires more time now that I haven't used it for a while.

 

And the pictures are made with the programs: 3DCG, MMD, SketchUP and after-touch with Photoscape.


2014.07.02

 

We went for my report card to school, and I was narrating her quite a bit during the time, otherwise nothing special... expect:

 

Yet, again, another mysterious dream with another mysterious girl. This time we were... Nazis? Well, inspectors/officers/slave-drivers in blue uniforms with red tie. We were "managing" the trains the prisoners/hostages were in I think, it's extremely unclear because all I know that the train was filled with people in rags and stuff, being taken somewhere and we were behind it.

Anyhow, there was this girl, same uniform as me, long brown hair in a ponytail and a blue WW2 German style cap without symbols or anything (that I did not have), who was fired, I think fo being a traitor, I don't remember. She had her sister on the train by accident, and wanted to rescue her before... I didn't get to that point. I was helping her out, but she was in the lead. We were traveling on the top of the train cutting through a deserted wasteland (Fallout?), were climbing in and out, sneaking, distracting, etc...

 

Then I suddenly woke up. Time? 4:16 AM.

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