Raxter

Raxter's Progress Report

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Eighteen

 

I realized today that Vigil never sits down. This isn't bothersome to me or annoying in any way it's just a thing I noticed. If I'm driving to work he's typically standing on the sidewalk just ahead of me and as I pass he'll teleport ahead again. Typically he'll be facing my direction although sometimes his back is turned or he's looking into a store window.

 

He'll also never move faster than a walking pace even if I'm doing sprints or jogging. I pondered that maybe it's because he's not really designed that way in my head when I think about what he represents. He's a serious personality, a thinker, a calculator, and a watcher. He's not going to be galloping down a football track cloak billowing behind him and hood flapping into his face, nor do I think he would sit with his head bowed and knees together like some homeless person. Or maybe that's just how I think he would look therefore I do not expect him to do so, I'm not blind to that possibility.

 

When it comes to forcing I sometimes feel like a crazy person. I find myself mumbling while I'm talking to him and more than once I've moved to avoid hitting him as I walk by. Thankfully I don't work with too many people but it would certainly look curious if there was someone watching when I did these things.


The most terrifying thing about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent. In the vast darkness we must supply our own light.

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Nineteen

 

I've got my own vices. I drink too much, I don't attend religious functions, I eat like a slob, I have very few interests, even fewer friends, and the list goes on.

These put me roughly with 90% of the people on Earth so it's not really some kind of confession more of a validation of the reality I live in. I'm sure most people who work with tulpas are typically introverted, terrible in social situations, and probably have off-color hobbies that aren't mainstream.

 

There's nothing wrong with this. Introverts have the best tools to maintain a tulpa and their sometimes destructive passions can push a topic way past the point people thought they could go.

Vigil appears to pull a lot from me although I can tell that there's a definite separation between expectations and observations. He's certainly my spiritual better and so far has kept calm in situations that would normally have me frothing at the mouth in rage or irritation. He's a stabilizing factor and it calms me a bit to know he's at the edge of my vision just observing and taking in the situation.

 

This is part of the reason why I work with Vigil is so I can have this added benefit to my life. What sort of benefits have you noticed with your tulpa since you started working with them?


The most terrifying thing about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent. In the vast darkness we must supply our own light.

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Guest Anonymous

This is part of the reason why I work with Vigil is so I can have this added benefit to my life. What sort of benefits have you noticed with your tulpa since you started working with them?[/size]

 

I've noticed increased social interaction, an interest in new things, a want to improve myself (e.g. stop biting my nails and eating my skin), and I'm just generally a better person. I'm also able to understand myself a lot better.

 

By the way, bolding questions helps people notice them better.

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Twenty

 

I watched a movie titled Her which starred Joaquin Phoenix, Olivia Wilde, and the voice of Scarlett Johansson. This was an adult orientated film with heavily sexualized motifs and emotional instigators.

So it was perfect for me.

The film has the main character Theodore (Phoenix), purchasing a new operating system for his computer which advertises itself as boasting the most advanced artificial intelligence on the market to date; capable of intuition, conversation, calculation, and psychological growth.

So, Siri, basically.

Theodore and his OS named Samantha (Johansson) develop a [somehow sexual?] relationship that's mutually beneficial for them and the movie goes on from there through it's rising action, climax, and falling action.

It's a great film despite it's somewhat farfetched plot and sometimes questionable dialog.

 

There's a particular scene later in the film in which Theodore is talking with Samantha, the two have a close relationship at this point and they talk with each other throughout most of the day. Theodore finds himself looking around a busy street that he's on and he sees virtually everyone around him is also talking with their OS's. They're laughing, smiling, arguing, planning, etc. The point being that this product was so incredibly popular and successful that everyone had one. Theodore's co-workers don't bat an eyelash when he mentions that his girlfriend is an OS and they still invite them to dinner, even his closest female friend seems accepting of the fact that her once stable lifelong friend is now basically spending his free time talking to a computer.

 

You can see where I'm going with this. I think it would be a fair assessment to say that most people that are enthusiastic about their tulpas are people who are introvert-shifted and probably wish that they could tell others about their experiences with tulpas but they feel heavily stigmatized or embarrassed because of it.

After all if we could drill into someone's brain and get a good look at their tulpa and subsequently design a program that will think and interact just like said tulpa...this community would probably think that that's a pretty damn cool idea.

If widespread acceptance becomes commonplace who's to say the kind of effects that would have. I mumble under my breath occasionally when interacting with Vigil but perhaps if others knew about him I wouldn't be so secretive or playing shadow games. Then again others wouldn't be necessarily embarrassed either and maybe you'd get a scene like in this movie where you have a street full of people talking to something in their head.

 

Acceptance is a delicate thing and simply having more people being knowledgeable about tulpas is a thing worth striving for. It doesn't necessarily need to be embraced or welcomed, but simply known.

What do you think should happen in the future for people practicing with tulpa? Do you think they should be more upfront about them? Do you think there will ever be a time when you can literally interact with you tulpa? Will they always just be a concept inside your head?


The most terrifying thing about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent. In the vast darkness we must supply our own light.

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It's a really interesting concept... I've been meaning to see that movie. To have a way to interact with Sarah more directly? I'm not sure. She would probably be happy to be able to have more independence, but we would lose the closeness of sharing a mind.


Host: Sakura

Tulpa: Sarah (began June 5th, 2014), Alyx (Began July 23rd, 2014)

Our shared tumblr

note: usually browsing on mobile, so cannot quote properly

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Technology keeps getting better and better. AI like the one in the movie you watched don't seem as far fetched as they used to be. Siri is a step in the direction of that technology. But, consider this.

 

If those AI did exist then would people still want to create tulpa?

 

Why bother going to whole heap of trouble focusing and talking with them when you can have a digital version of the end goal right away. An AI would be independent, seeming like another person right out of the box if the technology was good enough. It could interact with other people too. Beyond that and with the right technology it could be perfectly visualized, imposed, capable of parallel processing, possession and maybe even able to read your mind.

A tulpa doesn't seem so interesting any more. Unless that AI is stored inside your brain.

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Technology keeps getting better and better. AI like the one in the movie you watched don't seem as far fetched as they used to be. Siri is a step in the direction of that technology. But, consider this.

 

If those AI did exist then would people still want to create tulpa?

 

Why bother going to whole heap of trouble focusing and talking with them when you can have a digital version of the end goal right away. An AI would be independent, seeming like another person right out of the box if the technology was good enough. It could interact with other people too. Beyond that and with the right technology it could be perfectly visualized, imposed, capable of parallel processing, possession and maybe even able to read your mind.

A tulpa doesn't seem so interesting any more. Unless that AI is stored inside your brain.

 

This is actually a very important concept that you bring up Cyber, and the answers to the questions I think may be too complicated for anyone to really answer easily.

My knee-jerk reaction is to say that an AI is a kind of tulpa. Some may not like the analogy of a tulpa being a computer but at the end of the day they have more similarities than they do differences. If we're practicing with a tulpa then we're programming it and feeding it data and all the while it grows based upon the information we're giving it.

When our tulpa is no longer in our mind is the main focus here, for me at least. There's a lot of difficulty in describing what the mind actually is and should we pursue that tangent then we'll end up discussing consciousness or the meaning of life and that's not really a mountain any of us are capable of climbing yet.

 

So back on track, if I were to program an artificial intelligence to appear as and operate exactly like Vigil; is it still my tulpa or do we now categorize it as something else?

What if we go the opposite way to where I'm capable of heightening my perception of him through advanced drugs or technological improvements (neural implants etc.) I'm able to visualize and perceive Vigil in such clarity and state of mind that he can be considered nothing less than a full fledged construct.

What if I build an android that's simply a shell and I upload my perception of what Vigil is onto it. It's not just an intelligence but now it has a physical body.

 

Personally in these scenarios it all seems that the moment a tulpa leaves the body we can't see it as a tulpa any more since it is no longer an internal thing but now is external.

 

Should ventures like this be pursued? Would it be worthwhile to have your tulpa exist in a physical realm or body? Is it better for tulpas to just stay inside the mind?


The most terrifying thing about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent. In the vast darkness we must supply our own light.

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Twenty-One

 

My work has me in a position that requires me to have a lot of answers with some minor leadership auxiliaries. Its a decent living although sometimes it gets pretty weary always being the "go to" person who's supposed to wave their magic wand and make fluffy bunnies fall from the ceiling.

I have found that when you work as a problem solver you start to shove social niceties out of the way in favor of efficiency or logic. This leads to a very beep boop personality for me where I can seem uncaring or even vehement about things although I've learned to tell people that I'm not irritated at them as much as I am irritated at the problem that's created. A small, but important, distinction and not one that I'm always able to convey in a positive way.

 

This mindset that I've developed most assuredly has rubbed off on Vigil, or he has picked up on it. This is both good and bad from my perspective since we'll of course agree on most things although his persistent form of silence does seem to be doing more harm than good. I'm still new to the development process so I won't push the issue past what I'm able to understand.

In terms of form Vigil has stayed relatively the same. An encompassing cloak and vague features of eyes, nose, and mouth. He no longer floats or zombie shambles like he originally had many months before and in terms of his evolution it seems I've literally put muscle into his actions. I practiced having him cross back and forth across a room thinking of how his foot falls are (he wears almost like black combat boots?) or how his frame might twist and turn with his body moving. It was a fun exercise and both of us can only benefit from in in the long run.

 

So my question for the reader is:

Since you've started working with your tulpa, what sort of major changes have occurred to its form?


The most terrifying thing about the universe is not that it is hostile but that it is indifferent. In the vast darkness we must supply our own light.

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We've had no changes whatsoever. Fench has stuck pretty much the same, just as a courtesy to me, for ease of visualization and all. She says that if she changes, it will be after she's imposed. But I don't think she will. She's really grown into her form, and I couldn't imagine her any other way.

 

On the subject of tulpas existing outside the mind, it's not really a desirable thing in my opinion. One of the greatest things about tulpas is that you're always together, and once they're outside the mind, that would no longer be true. Plus, there are a lot of other benefits to focusing the mind enough to create a tulpa.

 

There's also the question whether if you copied a tulpa out of the mind, that would really be the tulpa, or just a copy. It's like if you cloned me, and then killed me, to you, it would be like I was still alive, but to me, I'd be dead. I remember reading speculation that in the Star Trek universe, the afterlife would be filled with copies of the same person, because every time they use the transporter, the original is killed and a new copy is made.


"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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Noticing the details in your tulpa's movements will certainly help visualizations in the long run. The more you practice the more you should find yourself noticing those kinds of details outside of your practice sessions. Having followed your progress from the start I can definitely appreciate putting muscle into his actions. Did you get tired of his slow movements and specifically set out to change them or is this just a natural progression?

 

Some tulpa change a lot. Others not so much. My tulpa still has the same form he had on day one. That said he changes, though not ages, like a normal person would. His hair grows out over the months and his wardrobe changes with the seasons. The changes are all cosmetic and can be reversed quite easily.

 

Considering Vigil is somewhat of a blank slate as far as his appearance goes I wouldn't be surprised if major changes did occur down the road. Consistency is also a possibility. Either of you could add detail to his form without straying from his current identity.

 

By giving him muscles you have one less excuse to ignore his movements. His perceived interaction with the environment and the way he navigates it will be more complex and hopefully more rewarding than before.

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