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A New Journey Underway (Birdi's Progress Report)


Birdi

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Hey, everyone!

 

I suppose I should introduce myself before anything else: I'm Birdi. I'm a teenage girl who likes writing and music and computers and art. I stumbled upon the concept of tulpas through Reddit- I was linked to the /r/Tulpas subreddit from a thread that was ridiculing and teasing it. Unsure of what I was expecting, I clicked on the link. The whole thing sounded a bit crazy at first, but despite that, I was really intrigued, so I looked into it more, and now here I am.

 

After doing some thorough background research, I finally started to create my tulpa tonight. I decided that I'd start with the form of a human female (with the intent of her becoming a platonic guide/companian), but I made it clear to myself from the beginning that I'd be totally open to the form changing. I gave her a name to start with, Lili, but again, if she wants to change it, she can.

 

So, tonight was Day 1 of tulpaforcing.

 

DAY 1 (4/7/14)

Before actually beginning the process of creation, I spent most of the day building up a vague (and malleable) picture of what I saw my tulpa as, to give myself something to work with when I started. Tonight, I actually began. I lay down, got comfortable, and started by imagining a wonderland. I chose a lakeside scene. After I'd done that and gotten a decent feel for the wonderland, I brought Lili in and gave her a short Methos-style introduction, telling her her name, my name, what I was intending to do, and all that good stuff. At some point, her hair (which is, at the moment, brown) seemed to switch to a blueish color, but then it seemed to switch back. The whole session took about half an hour. Tomorrow, I'll try to narrate as much as possible while I'm in school, and then do more active forcing when I get home.

 

Wish me luck!

 

- Birdi

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  • 2 weeks later...

So I've really been slacking really badly when it comes to updating this. Sorry!

 

Things are progressing really nicely. I get a lot of head pressure now, and I mean a lot. Like, whenever I think of her, I get pressure. Most of it feels kind of like it's pushing on the back of my skull, but sometimes it migrates to my temples. And I've gotten some pretty intense emotional reactions. I'm... uh... fifteen days in? A little over two weeks.

 

I've basically spent most of this time talking to Lille in the wonderland, doing some visualization sessions, and trying to put all my heart and soul into this thoughtform. Oh! And that reminds me, her name changed. I woke up abruptly at about five in the morning one day with the name "Lille" in my head (pronounced "Lyle"). Her form has deviated slightly, too. She's taller than she was when I created her, and looks a few years older, and her hair is darker now. I'd say she looks about eighteen or nineteen. I'm becoming really attached to her, and I'm finding that narration is coming more naturally. I'm basically blabbering to her all day. I can't wait until she responds back.

 

Today, specifically, I just sat down by the lakeside wonderland, visualized her as intensely as I could for a while, and then just talked to her. I think I can occasionally see her facial expression change just slightly when I talk, sometimes.

 

I'll try my best to update this thing daily, I promise.

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I promised I'd update this daily, so here I am! Today I did about two hours straight of active forcing, and man, do I have a headache. It was a really good session, though. Lots of head pressures, and at one point when I was talking to her about something pretty personal, I just felt this wave of raw emotion from her. It was really, really, intense, and by far the strongest emotional reaction I've felt so far.

 

Still no vocalization, but I'm only sixteen days in. I've been trying to passively impose her walking behind me all day, and narrating her all the while. It's pretty hard not to think about her at this point. She's on my mind all day.

 

That's... pretty much it for now.

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I got an hour of active forcing done today. Most of it was visualization. I'm still having a bit of a hard time picturing Lille's face, but I'm confident that I'll get better at it.

 

Just for the hell of it, I'll describe her here. Lille is a human girl who looks about eighteen or nineteen. She's around 5'7" or 5'8" and thinner than average, with a pale complexion, some light freckles, and green eyes. Her hair is dark brown and very straight, hanging around her face and falling a few inches past her shoulders. Her face is fairly plain-looking. She usually wears jeans and a simple T-shirt or sweatshirt.

 

I didn't get as much passive forcing done as I'd like, because school was busy today. Her name sometimes randomly pops up in my mind when I'm not thinking about her, though, so I assume that it's her doing. I also didn't get as much head pressure today.

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