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1pony4all's Workshop of Reality


1pony4all

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I'll start at the beginning of this new fascination.

 

Who I Am

I write short stories for fun and sometimes profit. I invent characters and worlds on a whim and have been told I make them strikingly realistic. A few days ago I discovered this tulpa business and realized how strikingly similar it is to how I invent my characters and worlds. So here I am to say "Why the hell not?"

 

I have a history of minor mental problems that I've been told boarders on schizophrenia. Everyday I train myself to have a firm grasp of reality so I feel that I'm a good candidate to create a tulpa and avoid the so-called mental risks.

 

Where I am Starting

In my mind, I have what I've called my "workshop". It's a medium rectangle sized room with a larger, circular platform off to one side, a computer terminal on the other and a large door on one of the long walls. I've used this workshop for years to program characters, objects and worlds. the characters and objects appear on the platform while the worlds appear on the other side of the door.

 

Up until this point I have never actually made contact with a character I have created, I have simply created more characters and allowed them to coexist together in their world. This is where I get my story ideas that I later refine and make into my short stories.

 

So from what I figure, I'm going to do this one more time, but this time, I'll allow myself to contact the character before I finish creating it, when it's still blank. I'll take a very personal approach to programming it. I'll talk to it, help it to experience the real world rather than the fictional one I create for it.

 

What I Have

I've slowly crafted a very basic personality idea (I haven't started forcing yet, but I have the idea clear in my mind). Some features include:

 

Accepting: I want the tulpa to be kind and forgiving. To be warm and open like I personally am not.

Independent: I don't want the tulpa to allow me to force it to do anything, I want it to be able to make up it's own mind and even argue with me if we don't see eye to eye.

Outgoing: I want it to talk and enjoy talking. I want it to be expressive and not afraid to say what it wants to.

 

My End Goal

At the very end of this, above all else, I want a friend. I want a fully functional being that is not 100% devoted to me, but is willing to be a friend for a long time. Somebody I can talk to, who has their own opinions.

 

I have not fully decided on a form, I'm hoping the form can come naturally as I develop the personality more or to allow the tulpa itself to make it's own choices for appearance and even gender.

 

Where I Am Going to Start

 

Tonight, I;m going to read through my notebook one last time, then I'll begin my very first Tulpaforceing session. I will stat by giving it a very, very vague form simply so I have something to contain my forcing. I'll be fallowing a combination of Irish_'s and FAQ Guy's guides along with a lot of my own interpretation. My goal for my fist session is to be able to instantly recall the form and personality I've laid down.

 

as this is truly my first time, I will be willing to listen to any and all advice you have on the matter. If you perhaps seem flaws in mu process, feel free to speak up.

 

I'll be around for a bit before I begin my session.

Name: *blank*

Form: To Be Determined *currently a male pony*

Personality: Independant, Accepting, Outgoing

Working On: Visualization/Personality

 

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I just attempted my first forcing session. It met with minor success and minor failure.

 

I believe I've successfully created a form to base for now. I began forcing personality traits into it. However, at about 20 mins in... my "other" made his presence felt. He barged into my workshop and began fiddling with my computer while I was near the form attending to it personal. I'm not sure if he managed to do anything in the few seconds while he was there, but I managed to force him away with a few directed thoughts.

 

Curious, this is the first time I have ever seen him have a form, even when I tried to self induce hallucinations before, he's never had a form, only a voice. He looks not too unlike myself, albeit thinner and his entire body was a silhouette other than the long white lab coat he was wearing (the same lab coat I imagined my self in) and a pair of black, box rimed glasses. He's gone now, I don't hear him. Sadly, this altercation broke my concentration for now. I plan on resuming in about an hour.

 

as another note, I noticed that I began feeling strange sensations in ever facet of my mind after just a few minuets of forcing. Perhaps it could be because I've already put a great deal of care and work into the personality I was trying to create.

 

EDIT: as of 5:17 PM, I am unable to visualize my workshop. I'm uncertain if it is because I am still slightly shaken from the encounter or for other reasons. I've elected to take a longer break and have dinner before attempting again. Interestingly, I can still sense the form I worked on even though I only worked for about 20 mins. I feel like it's right next to me, albeit unmoving or speaking.

Name: *blank*

Form: To Be Determined *currently a male pony*

Personality: Independant, Accepting, Outgoing

Working On: Visualization/Personality

 

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Maybe you should try the FAQ_man method and not use wonderlands (at least until you have a sapient tulpa who is bored of being imposed). I started with a wonderland, but I realized how useless it was so I decided to use the snapshot method instead (well, I turn the snapshot into a wonderland-like place so I can visualize her back was well, but I keep it small and use my memory instead of imagination to build it). And if your voice is messing with your wonderland, yet another reason to not use one.

 

Although, have you ever tried talking to the voice? If it's got a form now that's interesting, but I have no knowledge of psychology so my knowledge of tulpa are influencing my view on it.

Name: Suzy

Form: Like my avatar, but realistic.

Time: 58 hours.

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Maybe you should try the FAQ_man method and not use wonderlands (at least until you have a sapient tulpa who is bored of being imposed). I started with a wonderland, but I realized how useless it was so I decided to use the snapshot method instead (well, I turn the snapshot into a wonderland-like place so I can visualize her back was well, but I keep it small and use my memory instead of imagination to build it). And if your voice is messing with your wonderland, yet another reason to not use one.

 

Although, have you ever tried talking to the voice? If it's got a form now that's interesting, but I have no knowledge of psychology so my knowledge of tulpa are influencing my view on it.

 

I have spoken with the voice before, it's hard to get anything out of him. He seems to exist only to spout his opinions on situations, but once in a blue moon I can make him respond. His words are odd though when he talks, kinda like I'm parroting him but he still exerts his own will on the words. It's the reason I'm convinced he is simply another part of me, very closely aligned and only slightly different from myself. He's rarely distructive, mostly annoying and sometimes a nuisance. Once in a great while though, he is helpful, he's inspired many Ideas I use in my stories.

 

Overall, he keeps finding ways to fascinate me which it probably the reason I never permanently get rid of him.

Name: *blank*

Form: To Be Determined *currently a male pony*

Personality: Independant, Accepting, Outgoing

Working On: Visualization/Personality

 

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Last night was... interesting.

 

On advice from a few members of the IRC, I decided to try to make contact with Mr Glasses. The first thing I did was try to access my workshop, and I got in with no problems, it was wide open. Looking around, I noticed that the form I had been working on earlier had changed. What was original a gray colored, male pony with no hair or tail was now twany colored and hade a becix mane and tail. The fallowing is a transcript to the best of my memory.

 

*voice from behind me, my voice*: Do you like the changes I've made?

Me: *whirls around to see nothing*: Show yourself.

Voice: Why? Haven't we been close enough all these years?

Me: Look, I just want to talk, we can figure this out. What are you?

Voice: *laughs* Please, I thought we figured this out years ago... *appears in front of me, no longer a black silhouette, he looks almost exactly like me if I were thinner and wore glasses* I'm you.

Me: What do you want?

Glasses: *ignores me and walks over to the form* You like brown don't you? You always tell everybody your favorite color is Blood Red, but I know better.

Me: My favorite color IS Blood Red...

Glasses: Don't you lie to me!

*I could feel a force from him, angry, it almost pushed me out of whatever trance I was in*

Me: Why are you doing this?

Glasses: Isn't it obvious?

Me: Stop being vague.

Glasses: Just ask yourself these questions then.

*I stopped and thought really hard on this. Then I remembered the prism and feather trick. It just popped into my head for no reason. I imagined the prism and feather just off to the side of him*

Glasses: What are you doing?

Me: An experiment, you like those don't you?

*I stopped paying any attention to him at this point. I began to rock the feather back and forth*

Galsses: Stop!

Me: *ignores*

Glasses: Please sto-

At this point, glasses froze completely and stood straight up, he no longer spoke. As I continued to rock the feather, he fadded back into a silhouette.*

 

Eventually, when I stopped rocking the feather, I began to speak to him, but I could not get him to respond at all, no emotions, no anything. I left him there and went to bed. When I poked around this morning, he wasn't there anymore, but I still can't feel him.

 

It appears I was puppeting him somehow with out even knowing. This experience has really left me shaken and frankly, I don't know if I should continue with this process until I've learned more about myself. I'm honestly frightened now.

Name: *blank*

Form: To Be Determined *currently a male pony*

Personality: Independant, Accepting, Outgoing

Working On: Visualization/Personality

 

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With access restored to my workshop, I did more forcing today. I'm just under my first hour (this takes a massive toll on my mind, I need breaks).

 

Upon return to my workshop, I noticed my form had reverted to how I left it after my first session, a gray, bald, tailless earth pony. The Workshop was empty other than me and the form. I did dome very intense visualisation focusing mainly on the face and eyes. I also worked on the legs, I made his hooves a different color than his coat, I left them an off white color. I moved on and visualized a mane and a tail (both very basic and broad, easy to change later). It was at this point that Mr Glasses came back. This time he didn't barge in, he just appeared into existence. I felt his presence instantly and noticed he was still a black silhouette with a lab coat and glasses. For the rest of the session, he fallowed me around, sometimes making remarks (both rude and sometimes funny).

 

I began some simple narration, mostly trying to force the base personality. My main goal here was to make sure they Tulpa knows it's an individual, not simply an extension of myself and that it does not have to bend to my will. I also worked one some very basic facial expression and body language.

 

I also took some time to ask it a few questions (much to Mr Glasses chargon). I felt... "something" on a few of them, "Do you understand me?" gave the most response, but I can not be sure if this is from me or not.

 

I ended the session when I could no longer concentrate. Unlike last time, I can not sense the form outside of the workshop.

Name: *blank*

Form: To Be Determined *currently a male pony*

Personality: Independant, Accepting, Outgoing

Working On: Visualization/Personality

 

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Hmm, that is interesting. If I had to guess, I'd say that glasses dude was probably a manifestation of your shadow.

 

That's probably the most logical conclusion I've heard about it, but it doesn't enplane why he went rouge for a short time.

 

I have decided that what ever he is, as long as he doesn't pull another stunt like he did before, I'll let him hang around, and once I get farther along with my current form, then I'll give him some more attention and try to develop him to the point where I can get to the bottom of this.

Name: *blank*

Form: To Be Determined *currently a male pony*

Personality: Independant, Accepting, Outgoing

Working On: Visualization/Personality

 

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I didn't get to force last night.

 

I was in an awful mood, depressed and later really, really angry. I didn't want to expose my tulpa to all of that this early on. The image I have of it in my hear it still clear, I'm just waiting for some privacy.

 

On a slightly related note, Mr Glasses has been absent from my head for a few days now. No idea what that's about. I'm going to play some games to hopefully improve my mood so I can force later.

Name: *blank*

Form: To Be Determined *currently a male pony*

Personality: Independant, Accepting, Outgoing

Working On: Visualization/Personality

 

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