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Disapproval

I'm Ranger, GrayTheCat's cobud (tulpa), and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff. I go by Rosalin or Ronan sometimes. You can call me Roz but please don't call me Ron.

My other headmates have their own account now.

 

If I missed seeing your art, please PM/DM me!

Blog | Not So Temporary Log | Switching Log | Yay! | Bre Translator | Art Thread

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1 hour ago, ClianthaMiura said:

You ever find something that looks so much like your tulpa that you can't stop staring at it?

 

yes, this happens pretty often for me

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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More diagnosis talk

Spoiler

The broad DID community has such an emphasis on getting a professional dx making them "valid" or "real" because it's flooded with people who just want it as an excuse. There's a similar thing going on, although less common, with people with disordered eating who seek to be diagnosed with digestive disorders that they can use as an excuse to why they can't eat/are skinny/etc. And sometimes with morbidly obese people who get diagnosed with PCOS and use that as an excuse for why they're 200 pounds overweight. When those people get loud enough, then other people get caught up thinking that being validated by a professional is what means they have XYZ. I'm not immune, especially like a year ago- but now I see through it all. And it's all dumb... But there's not much harm in it, either. 

 

It's worth noting that many people with severe disordered eating do develop digestive disorders, and morbidly obese woman very commonly develop PCOS, so don't think I mean that people who get or seek these diagnosis are "faking." It's just that that isn't an excuse. With gastroparesis and anorexia it's that "It's not that I'm refusing to eat- I'm unable! It makes me sick!" With DID it's that it's seen as such a sure sign of undoubtable trauma, that you're only this way because events outside of your control happened to you, in comparison to things like personality disorders or even how depression is still treated in many places- grow up, get over it. "Your trauma is valid" is almost a meme. 

 

Like, does a broken bone become real when you get the X-ray? It's been broke this whole time! The only people who envy an x-ray of a broken bone is those who are restrained from getting one, or people who only wish they had a truly broken bone. Doesn't mean it can't make it more real- I've heard quite a few stories of people who didn't think their break was that bad, and then they see the x-ray and go, "Oh, shit, for real...." and it makes them feel less guilty about needing pain meds or time off work or whatever. 

 

I dunno, it applies to everything. A diagnosis isn't an excuse and human beings are capable of acting poorly. You need both clarity and compassion in this world. The clarity to say, I dun messed up, I could have done better but I just didn't, and the compassion to not self-flagellate yourself into oblivion. I struggled with that in the past. Things had to be "not my fault" because if they were my fault, it meant I was just such a horrible person. And that's most people's first impulse, yeah? To say "It wasn't your fault" to mean, "You're not a bad person." I'm not talking about things like being assaulted or abuse, but rather the later-date symptoms of having been assaulted/abused/etc. I failed a bunch of college classes- it WAS my fault, even though it was the direct result of a mental breakdown caused by not-my-fault things. 

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BrokenBird

 

 

Oh man, I step out for a few minutes to talk with my mom and now I see 9+ new replies. 

 

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

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14 minutes ago, Luminesce said:

yes, this happens pretty often for me

 

Well, I kinda envy that. Very rare for me

Iro - He/they - 30th April 1997 - Host of the system - Speaker if there's no tag

Desmond - He/him - 21st April 2014

L - He/him - 5th May 2014

Nevira - She/her - 14th December 2014

Misa - She/her - 5th December 2015

Roska - He/him - 22nd July 2019

Danyla - They/them - 13th July 2020

Asha - He/him - 13th June 2022

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Even though it's not DID related, there are two reasons I want a diagnosis from a doctor for things like autism, whatever sleep disorder we have, etc.

 

1) No one will believe I have these conditions unless I get a real dx.

 

2) I can't trust I have these conditions unless I have a formal dx. It's easy to convince yourself you have something you don't have.

 

I'm looking for validation because I don't want to confabulate a disorder I don't have. I want to know why I'm struggling and what the right direction is. I have an easy time getting lost and I want more guidance. I don't want an excuse, I want answers.

 

A broken bone is pretty obvious. Even if you don't know it's broken, it's easy to know something is wrong. My parents think I'm just lazy because I struggle to clean the house, get sleepy after I cook for a short period of time in the evening, and struggle to get out of bed. Without evidence, it's hard to say they're wrong or right.

Edited by Ranger

Meow. You may see my headmates call me Gray or sometimes Cat.

I used to speak in pink and Ranger used to speak in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). She loves to chat.

 

Our system account

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27 minutes ago, ClianthaMiura said:

Well, I kinda envy that. Very rare for me

 

Well to be fair, I've had a hobby of collecting pictures (of their Touhou counterparts) that look like them for 10 years now. I don't know how often "often" is exactly, maybe once every 1-3 months?

Specifically thinking of "staring", this picture of Lucilyn from a while ago has pretty hypnotic eyes: https://safebooru.donmai.us/posts/2060384

 

Outside of art of the Touhou characters though, we also run into pictures/videos of real people who look a lot like Tewi every long once in a while. And I'm fond of a lot of characters I've made in games that look like them, like in Guild Wars 2.

Edited by Luminesce

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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It just depends where your line is for what you medicalize. 

 

I've spoken about my stupid little struggle before, but I have a hard time finding pictures of teen boys who aren't already so masculine/manly looking. The ones that are actors or stock image models tend to already have the type of jaws and thin cheeks that only happen to a lot of guys in their 20s. That's coupled with the fact that most of these stock models or actors have very Caucasian features: for men, meaning deepset eyes and chiseled noses and height. Both Cassidy and especially Gavin have pretty Hispanic faces, but are also very pale, so even if I might get closer facial features searching for "hispanic/mexican teen boy", the skin color is likely to be completely off. Hell, Cassidy is blond. 

 

He actually looks quite a lot like the boy in the left here, but with a softer nose, thinner eyebrows, rounder face, and short blond hair. So, uh, like a 17 year old white boy. 

 

image.png.be5379510360447c8c9afc56d5bbb937.png

 

And Gavin looks a little bit like a male Miranda Cosgrove, that is to say... a white Hispanic teen boy. 

image.png.06488dfe4ec6c217be1182e0ae7c2b90.png

 

She actually looks a lot like my sister here, and then I look decently like my sister, and my headmate brothers look decently like me. I wish I knew more photoshop in the sense of face morphing. 

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

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I should play with more games' character creation to make tulpa faces. I once tried to do it in the sims 3 but only Misa was somewhat accurate. And I've been trying to search for L's face but it's hard 'cause I can't even see it properly to begin with because it's always half covered and even if I can it's asymmetrical 'cause he only has one eye. He's got a lovely jawline though, I really want to find someone that looks like him.
Nevira looks like Samara from Mass Effect but with a prettier nose, fuller lips and a thinner jaw. That is to say they have the same eyes and colors.

I actually made a quick edit one day to kinda demonstrate it but didn't post it anywhere.

Spoiler

Morinth002.jpg.a7126f0edcb1615f682d283d74a2146d.jpg

 

Edited by ClianthaMiura

Iro - He/they - 30th April 1997 - Host of the system - Speaker if there's no tag

Desmond - He/him - 21st April 2014

L - He/him - 5th May 2014

Nevira - She/her - 14th December 2014

Misa - She/her - 5th December 2015

Roska - He/him - 22nd July 2019

Danyla - They/them - 13th July 2020

Asha - He/him - 13th June 2022

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