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Pleeb
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It's taking it's sweet ol' time to pass. I filled out SSI forum with case manager and he turned it in, I wait a couple weeks for a response and get none, then check with them on how it is doing, and they say they didn't get any application, so that's a worthless waste of time. Now I have to wait until july 15th for an appointment to fill out another. Then I will wait months appealing it to maybe just get it perpetually denied and fail. So many people get disability and ssi so easily and I don't uderstand why it is impossible for me. People who are seemingly far more functional than me get it I don't know why. I guess I'm just so nonfunctional that I can't make a good case for myself. Always falling between the cracks.

 

THen if I do succeed at getting SSI I gotta wait months to try to get hud because the cheapest rent will be like 800 to 900 dollars which would be like 80% of my check and I won't hae anything left over for utilities. Also the logistics of doing things like paying bills i'll have to be shown how to do because I'm a 12 year old in body of 26 year old. No wait even elementary schoolers know how ot pay bills because they teach that in there but I don't know how for some reason. I am not worth much

 

I wish my dad would save up and move out but he  can't stop spending his check on crack so there is pretty much no hope of that happening

Creation for creation's sake.

 

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(edited)

Today's a really bad day I am so in danger of relapsing. Or I wish I knew how to have something to make me not care that isn't alcohol. I think I dreamed that I relapsed actually. I remember drinking then being really hung over but it has to be a dream because I know I didn't actually drink yet. Wish I had more than 4 dollars, need at least 5 dollars and 2 cents to get a pint

 

I wish my mom wasn't dead and was in good health. If she could see what is going on now she would probably kick the ass of my dad. If there was afterlife or ghosts were real she'd guarentee haunt the heck out of him. Lack of hauntings is somewhat evidence ghosts don't exist because I'm sure she would if she could

Edited by TB

Creation for creation's sake.

 

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Honeyyy you are more than your circumstances. Don't conflate your lack of experience or confidence with a lack of worth. You are not a finished person yet. Some day you'll look back on these as the "bad old days" you got through. Don't fall back into the cycle of abusing yourself with substances. Stay strong. I believe in you. 💚

Tulpa Wife Extraordinaire! 💚 - 💍 11.28.21

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Thanks I'll try but substances sure make things hurt less and makes me stop caring so much like I wish I could do defaultly

 

I appreciate your kindness

Creation for creation's sake.

 

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I am so tired. TB, have a high-five from across the aisle of the struggle bus 🖐. I'm not going to pretend my issues are that bad, it's not a comparison game. Just know that you're not alone. We can all be miserable together and talk about how cool tulpas are. 😊 Anyways I hope your day gets better. I'm going to sit down and stare at a wall, contemplating my life choices while listening to the Berserk theme. Then maybe junk food and bedtime.

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍

👨‍🍼👩‍🍼 Dain and Nova

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

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High five

 

Thanks

 

Hmm

 

I hope your day gets better too

 

Funny, an actual successsful buddhist man told me I should meditate by staring at a wall, that it'd be much faster than closed eye meditation. Hope you reach enlightenment then

Creation for creation's sake.

 

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🤔 neat hypothesis. It probably helps you remain grounded in the world and relax your mind and body while still not contaminating it with distractions. Occupy the body to free the mind.

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍

👨‍🍼👩‍🍼 Dain and Nova

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

[DeviantArt]

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(edited)

There is a dog next door that is just wailing in such a sad way. That dog seems miserable. I think they just chain him outside and never interact with him so he is extremely lonely. It makes me sad. Life sucks

 

 

I wanna go steal him and give him some rubs

Edited by TB

Creation for creation's sake.

 

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