TB October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 (edited) Idk what they want from me. After all this time they still are stubborn about it. I think they said something about 6 to 12 months being sober. Well it's 7 months since that cursed month. I just want to be able to focus on drawing, and other things. I space out when people are talking to me and it sucks because I don't want to ask them to repeat themselves but I also don't want to do something wrong for not listening. I usually just nod my head and say okay Thanksfully it isn't too too common that I space out while someone is talking to me though but it does happen. Like today though... I woke up at like 8 or something, now it is 11:56 and I have only drawn about 5 minutes. I am wasting all my free time because I can't get myself going in any direction I want. Do they not understand how much it would do good for my depression if I could get myself to focus on drawing? It'd knock like 65% of it out of the park! This sucks! Also with a stimulant I'd be too busy to drink. I'm more likely to drink again with my crappy meandering life that goes nowhere because I can't do simple things.. Get a load of some of the random stuff my mind feeds me. "I drink trees". Why did I think this? Stuff like this just comes up all the time. Edited October 4, 2022 by TB Creation for creation's sake. More of my drawings Resident Dojikko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 Drawing doesn't require that much focus, like you can literally space out while doing so, especially doing linearts, or is it just me? Like sure you might need to think and focus a bit when sketching the basic piece but once that's out of the way you can pretty much go daydreaming mode Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TB October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 Well to practice deliberately and well I do need a lot of focus. You don't improve much from unfocused drawing. Also my ADHD makes it so I feel understimulated and want to procrastinate watching videos etc. My brain fights me when I sit down to draw, or fights the idea of starting since once I start it sometimes improves for at least a little while. But yeah. I hope I explained it right. Basically I can't stop procrastinating it for some reason my brain is afraid of sitting down and focusing on it without distraction to better itself Creation for creation's sake. More of my drawings Resident Dojikko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 Maybe you're afraid of not improving and that's why your brain fights you so hard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TB October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 Huh maybe. I've been drawing like 10 years and pretty almost all of my depression comes from not improving at it during that time. I have it learned in me that I can't improve or don't know how ot improve at least. Now I do think I know how to improve but I have trouble actually doing it. Maybe I'm afraid it won't work after all and I'll be disappointed. Though I wouldn't down play the fact I want to do time wasting stuff for some reason. My brain is addicted to instant gratification of scrolling on twitter or vegging out on youtube videos Creation for creation's sake. More of my drawings Resident Dojikko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 Just now, TB said: Now I do think I know how to improve but I have trouble actually doing it. Maybe I'm afraid it won't work after all and I'll be disappointed. What if, you have imagined your future as a commission artist, to be a commission artist you need to improve, you have taken for granted that you will know how to improve once you manage to sit down and do it. 'But if I don't improve after all, I won't be able to be a commission artist and will have no future' (or so you think) therefore, to not fall into despair in the case it doesn't work like you think it will, you never sit down and draw Is that you or was I oddly specific? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TB October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 Oh man the cold chills I can always get coming back to stuff. Super butouden japanese fight introduction thingies Trunks: Ojisan, hontouni tsuyoi no? Goku: Tatakattemirya wakaru sa... Trunks: Old man, are you really strong? Goku: Fight me and find out lol reminds me of the "F**k around and find out* meme thingy thing Creation for creation's sake. More of my drawings Resident Dojikko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TB October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 Oops we posted at the same time. Hmm Also hard to tell because on the surface that seems dumb and I want to try out practicing failure or not, but it could be that it is true in my subconscious and my subconscious holds me back. I'm not sure. Also long ago I literally truly did not know how to improve. It is from many youtube videos of people explaining how improving works and what to do for drawing that I finally had it click that I know how to improve now I think. Also some self reflection of learning why I struggle so badly with drawing because I learnt it to be an activity of pain and people improve best when having fun so I have to learn to have fun drawing again Creation for creation's sake. More of my drawings Resident Dojikko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Escapismm October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 Heya - Mark Escapism [400+ Alters] Host :: Alexander Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TB October 4, 2022 Share October 4, 2022 (edited) Oh noooo I just wiped my mouth with my new expensive gabriel brother's shirt. I'm so used to have old trashy clothes that I do it all the time because I don't care. Oops nooo hi mark Edited October 4, 2022 by TB Creation for creation's sake. More of my drawings Resident Dojikko Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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