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Pleeb

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Appointment over, today was a long session. She seemed pretty worried and i felt like the lowest of the scums for making her feel like that

 

Anyway, good tb, hope it all goes well

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Happy you're happy

 

It's coming back boys. My meditation fruits are coming to the front again now. I'll be a monster at moving forward as I do

Edited by TB

Creation for creation's sake.

 

More of my drawings

 

Resident Dojikko

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25 minutes ago, TB said:

What was she worried about? You aren't scum

Idk, everything but mostly my suicidal ideation. I think she was pretty close to crying or idk if it's just my imagination but she said something like 'I imagine the day I receive a call that you've committed suicide' and it broke my heart into pieces, and the way she told me to please ask for help if she isn't available idk, I've never felt such emotion from my mental health workers in my life. I feel like I've taken it too far even though it's her job

 

What should i do though, I feel like i should go to the emergency room if it gets worse but that means hospitalization most likely and i fear having to miss so many classes in case i don't do anything in the end. I feel like utter crap after this session, except this time it was on me

 

i know deep down i don't want to do it because i'm talking to you guys and everything and that means i just want to vent, otherwise i wouldn't care much but who knows, sometimes i like to talk about what i am gonna do so ???

 

Sorry for ruining whatever mood there was, i'm happy for you tb

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It feels like she's subconsciously giving you fuel for that vision for yourself, but I'm sure it's just the way your mind received that message and she didn't mean for it to come as such.

 

You are right, though; you're probably only driven with the urge to do it, even if you know full well you'd never wish that on yourself.

 

There's an old saying, and it goes a little like:

"You want to kill yourself? Throw yourself into the ocean and watch yourself struggle for survival. You do not want to kill yourself; you want to kill something inside of you."

 

I have a feeling you want to kill that something inside of you, Miri, not yourself

D-prime is shrinking as we speak.

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2 minutes ago, ringgggg said:

There's an old saying, and it goes a little like:

"You want to kill yourself? Throw yourself into the ocean and watch yourself struggle for survival. You do not want to kill yourself; you want to kill something inside of you."

 

I have a feeling you want to kill that something inside of you, Miri, not yourself

This is probably very true, what could that be? idk but i don't think it's just that, idk i just feel like i hate this world a lot and can't stand it, blah i wish i was happy. And i feel sorry for bringing miichu to life

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Does miichu not wish to exist? It is probably best to not pressure yourself with what is going on in the world. There is much good too but it is harder to see since people don't report on it. There is some portion of humanity that is working very hard to save us, unfortunately politicians aren't doing their job well

 

I keep sayin are when I mean aren't or similar other mistakes

Edited by TB

Creation for creation's sake.

 

More of my drawings

 

Resident Dojikko

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I'm gonna be honest, with miichu's permission, she's trying her damn best to be the 'please, don't do it, seek help' one but you can't lie to someone who shares brain with you. This is why i want or wanted, idk anymore, to become a nurse, to help alleviate human suffering

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