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7 hours ago, Miri said:

like, am I doing it because of genuine compassion or just to feel better about myself?

as far as selfish motivations go, doing nice things because it gives you warm fuzzies to see other people happy is just about as altruistic as you can get. if you help someone, and you get something out of it yourself, that doesn't make you helping them less good of an action, if anything, it makes it a better action, since now two people are helped, rather than just one. if helping other people is morally good, then helping yourself is also morally good

 

7 hours ago, Miri said:

Sometimes I feel like I want to live, just not in this world, a better one. And other times, not even fantasizing about being god and creating my own world makes me feel better so I don't know actually. I hate the way the world is, I feel like humans (and to some extent, animals too) deserve better, while other times I feel like nature doesn't deserve humans! my mind is like that, going from one extreme to the other. There's certainly more going on like fear of death-by-external-factors (not suicide) and my hatred for myself

do you know what causes you to flip flop between these ideas? if you can track and better analyze these thought processes that are causing you distress, that's the first step to changing them to work in more helpful ways

I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.

 

 
"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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I lost my wallet 

 

Lumi is going to be disappointed in me for losing so many things. Wallet. Tenkaichi. Xbox games. 200 dollar controller. All gone. I hope to God I have all my computer wires. 

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Creation for creation's sake.

 

More of my drawings

 

Resident Dojikko

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1 hour ago, Breloomancer said:

as far as selfish motivations go, doing nice things because it gives you warm fuzzies to see other people happy is just about as altruistic as you can get. if you help someone, and you get something out of it yourself, that doesn't make you helping them less good of an action, if anything, it makes it a better action, since now two people are helped, rather than just one. if helping other people is morally good, then helping yourself is also morally good

Really good and interesting way of seeing things, Bre

 

1 hour ago, Breloomancer said:

do you know what causes you to flip flop between these ideas? if you can track and better analyze these thought processes that are causing you distress, that's the first step to changing them to work in more helpful ways

No idea, maybe something like 'oh this person did something good for me, humanity is good' and then 'this person hurt me, humanity is bad' with no in between, something that triggers this you know?

 

I have emergency appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow so I'll definitely tell her all of this but idk what I'm hoping to get out of it

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1 hour ago, TB said:

I lost my wallet 

 

Lumi is going to be disappointed in me for losing so many things. Wallet. Tenkaichi. Xbox games. 200 dollar controller. All gone. I hope to God I have all my computer wires. 

TB is the main source of new stuff arriving in Gensokyo. Blame Yukari.

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The beliefs I have are but an interpretation of my experience, other interpretations exist and are potentially valid. Because I don't have relative magnatudes of correctness or wrongness I choose to believe what works best for me, what fits the data, and any other arbitrary reasons.

 

This is the way of the Bear.

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27 minutes ago, TB said:

I hope it goes well. Is it because you are suicidally depressed?

Yeah, although I'm afraid of bothering her again but she's seen way worse so whatever

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It's not your job to look after for your therapist, Miri. It's her job to look after you. That's what she gets paid for. If you have to hide your feelings from your therapist because you're afraid of 'bothering' her, the whole thing becomes utterly absurd. I agree with Lumi, she appears unprofessional.

 

In any case, pls speak your mind, no one can help you if you hide your feelings. If therapist-san can't deal with that she needs to quit and find a new job. There's a limit to compassion, and that limit is reached when your harm yourself. That benefits no one.

 

31 minutes ago, Bear said:

The beliefs I have are but an interpretation of my experience, other interpretations exist and are potentially valid. Because I don't have relative magnatudes of correctness or wrongness I choose to believe what works best for me, what fits the data, and any other arbitrary reasons.

 

This is the way of the Bear.

 

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Super Girls don't cry

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