[Game] Last one to post wins!

[TB]

Having more than one tulpa seems like it would be very hard to know what thought is what. Though I guess I can tell if I have an interaction with Tayomi or Eara but it is rare. So maybe it isn't so hard.

 

I have to go to bed in 4 minutes or I will be miserable. THe cuttoff point really is midnight. THe cortisol for sleep isn't there by then and you die. idk why. And yeah you need cortisol to sleep weird that stress hormone is also a sleep hormone 

 

I hope I didn't stress bre out

Edited March 17, 2023 by TB

[TurboSimmie]

I thought your "essay" was very good Lumi.

 

I wonder if there is a name for the school of thought that "you" are just the conscious-thinking part of your brain? If there isn't a name for it there should be, because I think it's a helpful concept that is larger than tulpamancy.

[Luminesce]

Definitely far bigger than tulpamancy, as I said there I learned it independently of tulpamancy from "western buddhist" books. Only problem is, "western buddhism" isn't a real thing like it sounds, it's just authors adapting random things they learned from buddhism into self-help advice, and often mystifying it.

 

I learned it in the context of "You are not everything in your brain, you are only the conscious part, and identifying with everything else only leads to suffering". It helps a ton with self-esteem and taking control of your brain, it's part of the basis of why I became so pro-"you-can-change-your-brain". But yeah, if there's any "source" to it, it's general non-identification from Buddhism. Buddhism basically says nothing is real and worth identifying with, while "western buddhism" is split on whether that's the case (often still identifying with a "soul") or if only the concept of your consciousness itself is worth identifying with.

 

Anyways, since the realization that tulpas/headmates are no less than the host often comes with learning to switch, I'd like to call it the singlet vs plural model of identity. But as I mentioned, some tulpamancers somehow manage to keep the singlet/default model. I think they're far more likely to deal with doubt long-term and also struggle with switching, but aside from that I don't really understand it much because I had this model of identity before I started really thinking about tulpamancy.

Edited March 17, 2023 by Luminesce

[TurboSimmie]

Yeah, but I guess there's not a name for it is there. I think someone should coin one! I don't feel qualified to do it. 😄

 

Phil started to adapt to this mindset pretty early on when forcing me and it really helped us both a lot. The fact that he was able to disown himself from so much mental junk not only gave me a lot more to work with, but allowed him to cut himself off from stuff that he always thought was part of him but truly wasn't.

 

Also, only slightly related, but I want to put a bookmark down so I remember: I wanted to write in my PR sometime about how our creation of Junior can be seen as Phil attempting to re-parent himself, at least from a certain point of view.

 

Anyway, I'm signing off for the night as we've really got to get to bed over here. Goodnight everyone! 😊👋😴🛏️

[Luminesce]

I'm not sure what you mean by re-parent

[TB]

Getting a parent model again to go through raising self but properly this time to help get rid of trauma from your actual parents, I think. Idk

 

Though funny what western buddhism did then about the self. In buddhism you learn from investigation that what appears to be your conscious thinking part of the brain also is not the self. I guess when your concentration skills are high enough you realize the conscious thinking part of the brain is the same as the rest and the feeling like you have control over it is an illusion. It is just predetermined through causality like everything else in the universe is. When thinking about it it does seem ridiculous to think that randomly we as people have an acausal l self that breaks all the rules of everything we know already. I'd like to think that though because the other way makes me depressed. But buddhism says this way is what causes suffering though so I guess I'd have to eventually lose that belief too as I get better at meditation and can see it for myself.

 

But yeah everything is just empty sensations, empty meaning there is no enduring existence for anything. They just arise and pass instantly constantly and it is never not like that no matter how much it may seem something is existing for longer than a moment. Your thoughts are like that too and they are just thoughts, not a self. And if you look for some sort of like command center in the middle where all the thoughts come from you will find nothing, nothing that can be observed anyway. There are meditation practices where you try to turn the mind back on itself to see what the self is but spoiler alert you find nothing. The brain just goes out of its way to do this apparently really energy intensive and exhausting magic trick constantly where it really makes it feel like you are a self in control and apparently you can unlearn this and make your mind stop doing it, and it is so much less stressful once you do.

 

I'm not speaking from experience yet though, well I have some minor experiences but not enlightened yet lol. I just read and listen to a lot of stuff about buddhism. Idk where western buddhism comes from because most of the people I listen to for dharma talk are western yet they don't ascribe to whatever Lumi talks about.

 

Anyway time to meditate, weeee and for 30 minutes too

 

I made french toast. it isn't very good. Usually it is, idk what I did wrong 

 

Also did bre not say goodnight? Hope they're okay

Edited March 17, 2023 by TB

[Breloomancer]

7 hours ago, TB said:

Also did bre not say goodnight? Hope they're okay

don't worry about me. i've been lurking, but not posting because i feel guilty about taking longer than i said i would to give you feedback on your ttrpg

[TB]

Oh don't feel guilty. I know it probably takes some time. The stuff about distance and positioning is not the best and confusing 

 

I've been reading this book for weeks and I'm just now getting to part 2 

 

Okay so I was playing my ttrpg in my head and I realize I might have to make a change. Instead of damage doing strength minus endurance I'm damage, maybe I will make it if it is withing 5 it does 3 damage, 10 it does 6, 15 it does 9, etc... Idk if that is confusing or slow or not, but like my name can do 60 damage to byakko in 1 turn using just rushes and it seems kind of ridiculous. I can't balance the game to revolve around making byakko strong either though so I have to be aware of that but it seems reasonable anyway does it? 

 

Reading this book I realize Daniel Ingram doesnt particularly like western Buddhism lol

Edited March 18, 2023 by TB

[TurboSimmie]

Good evening! 😊

[TB]

Hi simmie. It's like no one is here today. Slowest day