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26 minutes ago, TB said:

I don't think I said I was why she left, I was just concerned that I was stressing her out? I don't know what I do here that does that and it'd be nice to know so maybe I could stop. Also I edited my message

"Ranger left because managing the community was stressful" -> "I was the one stressing her out?" 

 

And gee, all your posting about drinking and medication and hospital visits and breaking things and just generally talking about how miserable your life is? Are you really not aware how stressful that can be for people to hear, or are you just talking about your last couple months or something? Because "Ranger being anxious about checking LOTPW" was like a whole year. We both cared a lot about your well-being, but I'm a lot more stalwart and able to manage my thoughts and feelings, so you saw our system stick around and reply with help at every single twist and turn, but Ranger is a lot more prone to stress (and has her own issues, AND was managing the Discord server), so yes, all your posting about how awful your life was was stressful for her. But so she just didn't check LOTPW much, versus the Discord where she was basically the sole mod handling most situations (at least in real-time).

 

33 minutes ago, TB said:

Have you thought of what to do if one feels bad and there are no negative thoughts supporting the bad feelings? Or do you think there are and I'm just not noticing them

 

An object in (negative) motion stays in (negative) motion, or whatever analogy you want. While I think you still have a decent amount of habitually negative/stressed thought patterns, even if you're thinking neutrally, that won't necessarily bring your mind state into positivity. For me, I overcame my depression not just by getting rid of negative thought patterns, but by replacing them with positive ones. Having healthier, positive-productive thought patterns constantly lightly influencing your life makes a ton of difference to your overall mood and life satisfaction(/bearable-ness). And that is a lot of work, but it's what it takes to start actually feeling good by default.

 

But even if you only work on removing negative thought patterns, that's still a great start. (Though with the method of thought-replacement we always describe, there's no reason not to accomplish both at once)

Edited by Luminesce

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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No I wasn't really aware that I was stressful to hear. That sucks. I didn't know I was so negative either. It usually feels nice to post here which is why I do it so much. I don't really want to stop posting but I don't want to make others not enjoy their time. I guess I should be more aware. For some reason I guess this place is cathartic though. Not sure what to do

 

Also is it just me or do you sound a bit irritable? Your last couple posts have seemed harsh

 

And about the thought replacement, I see. I should figure it out soon I hope. If I think "Am I being negative right now?" it seems to be no. I need my mind to notify me when I am. And yeah to actually put positive things in there... We'll see about how to do that. Thanks for telling me so much about it

Edited by TB

Creation for creation's sake.

 

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Resident Dojikko

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Good evening everyone!

 

I miss Ranger :( I hope they come back sometime, even as a regular user and not a mod. It was such a sudden shock to go from them being super-involved to abruptly leaving without even saying goodbye. But, it's their choice and I respect it.

 

TB honey, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, because you're my dear friend and I love hearing from you. But I've got to be honest: you use LOTPW as a personal blog too much. Sometimes people want to come on here and chit-chat but they're hit with the latest episode of TB drama. Again: I don't think it's wrong for you to share those things! But I kind of wish you would do it less often, or perhaps starting your own lounge thread to talk about it. People would still respond to you over there! Just something to think about TB.

 

(Don't feel responsible for Ranger leaving though. It's too much of a leap to try and make that assumption!)

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1 hour ago, TB said:

Also is it just me or do you sound a bit irritable? Your last couple posts have seemed harsh

 

Exclusively the "well gee," was lightly critical, because it should be really obvious that posting about terrible things happening in your life stresses people out to read, but you acted like you had no idea what it could be.

 

1 hour ago, TB said:

No I wasn't really aware that I was stressful to hear. That sucks. I didn't know I was so negative either.

 

I can tell you that for Ranger, it was less "you being negative" and more things like "I got drunk and fell on my computer and broke my keyboard". The average thing you say isn't so bad, and some level of talking about your struggles is perfectly fine, but yes it is stressful for the average caring person to read about someone constantly struggling and being unable to help them. Especially with scary things like drinking and health problems (it's not fun to read venting about how miserable work is, but I would say that's less stressful to read than as a fake example "Guys my skin is yellow and I'm throwing up blood and I keep passing out, I wonder if I'm dying")

 

 Once more to be clear though, all you did was cause Ranger to not want to keep up with LOTPW. Ranger leaving was a much bigger thing about long-term stress in managing the community, especially since she has autism and struggled in managing social scenarios and was even insulted sometimes for what was doing her honest best. (Our system made an effort to defuse and explain situations when we saw them as well as defend Ranger's purely positive intent, though)

 

1 hour ago, TB said:

And about the thought replacement, I see. I should figure it out soon I hope. If I think "Am I being negative right now?" it seems to be no. 

 

I mean, my mindset 12 years ago was ""logical"" and ""realistic"". About believing life was pointless and happy people were all ignorant of how bad everything actually was and all that. A huge realization (that only came after I got out of that, with Reisen as direct in-mind inspiration/example) was that your perception of reality is subjective, even if it seems logical and reasonable. And that there are countless other perspectives that are both different yet also not wrong. Once I got to my current mindset, I was able to look back and realize that beliefs and thought patterns I thought were "logical and realistic" were not the only way to be and still be "right". How that can be the case is rather complex, and I've spent the last few hours typing already, so I'll pass for now

 

So basically, what seems "overly positive" or "illogically optimistic" from one mindset can just be a healthy and productive place to be once you're in it. You realize for example that you were previously focused on/valuing negative "logical" thoughts too much, and severely downplaying or even ignoring positive logical ones. And that tons of your "neutral" thought patterns (though they may end up looking somewhat-negative in retrospect) could've actually been more positive-productive and still just as "correct", but way healthier. 

 

In short, there's probably always room for improvement. What today feels "neutral" to me in my past would've looked "extremely positive and productive". And even still I think we have tons of room for improvement to become more positive & more productive, the latter of which we started working on this year and is what's led to us feeling so good recently. I'm not sure how to work on positivity any more (I do still appreciate the amazing job I did in my teens), since I don't seem to feel particularly strong emotions and may be limited by my actual brain (ties in to my "schizoid personality disorder", though to be clear, the disorder is caused by the state of the brain, not the other way around). But so far becoming more productive and seeing results has already been naturally causing more positive feelings about things, so maybe that'll be good enough.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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Good night

 

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time typing today, but on the bright side, the .info Discord really picked up a lot of activity from both existing and new members today, so that's good

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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Well sorry, I wasn't aware I misused lotpw. 

 

Not to perpetuate it but today sucks. All this is embarrassing and troubling but since 8 there has been a constant beeping that goes on for about 5 minutes then stops for 5 minutes and it hasn't stopped. I could swear the times vary though. Anyhow I didn't think it was my smoke alarm but out of desperation I took the battery out, which was very hard to do because it is on the ceiling and too high for me to get to easily, and now I just have a chirping smoke alarm that I can't get the battery back into on top of the beeping.

 

Maybe okay to share since this isn't a health problem (I didn't know I apparently shared those too much. Idek what has happened to me recently that is like that.) As for personal blog, idk either really. I must be doing something wrong I guess. I'll try to be more aware. 

 

I used to have this problem (maybe I still do) where I want to talk to people but it is impossible for me to not talk about negative things because that is all there seemed to be to talk about. I hope that isn't happening again because I'd hate to end up just stop positing in my attempts to not flood lotpw with negativity. Am I positive or neutral here too? I have no idea of my ratios

Creation for creation's sake.

 

More of my drawings

 

Resident Dojikko

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Don't worry, I also ''misused'' this thread (albeit not on the same level) AND my pr back in the day and recently too

 

I feel you, it feels good to vent

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You've been a lot better recently than when you lived at your Aunt's of course, so I wouldn't add this to the list of things to be self-critical about now.

 

You should definitely get better at asking google about health problems instead of us though

Edited by Luminesce

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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