[Game] Last one to post wins!

[Reisen]

6 hours ago, TB said:

Yeah unfortunately they are rare for me. I wonder if there is a way to change that

 

maybe if I keep adding Rena to the memory of my dreams she'll show up more. I've only seen her like 3 times in the 6 years we've been together and 1 of them was before she was made or right when she was made, idr

 

We've similarly had very, very few dreams involving us in the last 13 years, despite everything. It seems the only thing that makes our appearances more likely is spending a lot of time active - casual imposition or visualization for only a few minutes has never done anything for us, but one of our VERY few dreams of not just our Touhou equivalents but actually us showing up in a dream, was a dream where I was walking with Lumi around a big city - and that, of course, happened around the same time we had been spending every day practicing learning imposition by walking (all of us at once aside from Lucilyn actually) around our college campus with Lumi

 

6 hours ago, Miri said:

Do intentions work for you all?

 

Mnemonic Induced Lucid Dreams have never worked for us :\

All sorts of intention-based things don't affect us once dreaming at all, all that affects us is "What we thought about during the day", ie talking about dreaming can improve our dream recall or make us more likely to become lucid during them, but before-bed intentions don't (for us)

 

6 hours ago, ringgggg said:

Speaking of Q2, I got a Kyubey plush as motivation and placed it high up so it’s as if the god of imposition is watching over me. Is it too weird? I feel like now that I typed it out it sounds weird.

That is really funny lol

 

6 hours ago, ringgggg said:

Have you ever taken dreaming supplements TB? I haven’t had much luck with finding some

 

Oh, we have! It was a few years ago now, but we tried Claridream Pro pills, and when we actually managed to fall back asleep after waking up to take them (... our body and brain oppose lucid dreaming every step of the way, so that was about "once"), we had the most vivid, lifelike dreams we've ever had, it was awesome!

 

So we would 100% perfectly vouch for these over anything else, however given how fresh the ingredients are supposed to be and how it seems the hype for these specifically has died down (last review was 10 months ago now), there is a small chance the ones you get might not be as fresh or something. I hope not! We fully intend to buy another bottle of these whenever we get back to trying lucid dreaming, so

[ringgggg]

1 hour ago, Reisen said:

That is really funny lol

Glad you think so, that's a relief.

 

1 hour ago, Reisen said:

Oh, we have! It was a few years ago now, but we tried Claridream Pro pills, and when we actually managed to fall back asleep after waking up to take them (... our body and brain oppose lucid dreaming every step of the way, so that was about "once"), we had the most vivid, lifelike dreams we've ever had, it was awesome!

Huh, that one is new to me. I tried another supplement, LucidEsc, a couple months ago. It looks like they have similar blends, but every supplement is different so I'll consider trying it out one day. Thanks for the recommendation.

 

In the meantime, I'm probably just gonna stick to traditional ways (like dream journaling) because they just work so effective for me. Did I tell you guys I had five dreams in one night after three weeks of journaling? That was like a year ago, though

[Reisen]

Dream journaling helps dream recall and seemingly awareness while dreaming (always hard to say what's going on in dreams you don't actually remember, if they were real-ish or actually floaty at the time)

Supplements might or might not help that, but moreso they help with dream vividness, like Wake Back To Bed, where the actual dream before-recalling is more vivid and you have greater awareness

 

When we got everything to work out and successfully fell back asleep (after waking up probably 5 hours into sleep to take the pill), it made the dream experience so dang cool, it was crazy! At one point we were just walking through a (probably was meant by the dream to be spooky) old mansion, and we were creating a song (making it play in the dream just on its own) that sounded really really cool to us making it up on the spot, and just enjoying how vivid all the visuals of the place we were walking around were, it was really quite something!

 

So yeah, I wouldn't call them the same thing. Believe it or not, you really can forget dreams even if you became lucid in them, it's hard in our experience but possible. So dream recall is still important, still helps with becoming lucid, and still helps have a more vivid memory of the dreams that you do have. But the big thing with supplements (that work) is making the dreams themselves vivid IMO

Wake Back To Bed after ~5-6 hours of sleep also helps to make dreams vivid for us, but never to the extent the Claridream pills did

[TB]

I also had like 5 dreams in one night during my retreat. I should try the claridream pills

 

I'm being made to second guess my choice to quit more and more. My therapist totally killed my mood and hope for getting SSI and my job coach keeps telling me he has many clients who work while on SSI, they just work similar hours to me. Maybe there was a miscommunication with the lawyer and they didn't know I only work 16 hours... idk. I think it is too late to call the lawyer tonight again. Also it was just the lawyers office, not the lawyer themselves I think. I think I talked to their secretary or something, so maybe they don't know what they're talking about. And yeah if I fail to get SSI I'll probably never find a job with this much freedom again. I just have to get over knocking on girls bathrooms and the fact I'm around so many people. But to have 4 hours of free time and getting paid for 8, I don't know if this will ever happen again. 

 

I told my friend they could have my job though but my coach said that shouldn't be a reason for me to quit, and that I should only do so if I want to. I asked my supervisor and we still need someone for the weekends so my friend could still potentially work here, but they aren't happy they'd only be working 2 days... though other than that they didn't really get too upset  

 

But notably, I didn't dread coming to work as much today. I think I might be getting used to it 

 

I already told my dad I was quitting and he didn't get as upset as I thought. He just asked me what will I do if I don't get SSI and I said I guess I'd have to find a job again. But yeah if I quit I will have to wait like 3-6 months to get a no, then wait 3 months again to get a yes or no depending on how lucky I am. And if it is a no I have to wait another 3-6 months for potentially another no and ill have to wait for a hearing. That's like over a year of no income so that's kind of unbearable.  

 

Something I'm unsure about though is working this job in the summer. I leak sweat and it is uncomfortable, so I would almost want to quit as it gets warmer, but then I'm stuck at 0 again especially if having this 16 hours a week job actually makes me lose SSI. That's like a huge blunder so I still don't know what to do, but I just know my gut is telling me what I'm doing might be wrong 

 

But yeah I just realized I don't actually hate summer heat, I just hate sweating. It's like 60 degrees and I still sweat doing this job, I just sweat less. Is there a way to make yourself not sweat anymore?

Edited September 18, 2023 by TB

[Ranger]

My Discord server Tulpa Town is real! Pleeb linked it in #server-hub if you're interested!

I haven't been super active here, I'm not sure if I will be moving forward. I don't hate it here, I just feel I can't do much at the moment. I hope as I progress in therapy I'll have more energy to post on the forums again

[TB]

Hi ranger. I hope you are doing okay 

 

I will look into it

[Reisen]

1 hour ago, TB said:

And yeah if I fail to get SSI I'll probably never find a job with this much freedom again. I just have to get over knocking on girls bathrooms and the fact I'm around so many people. But to have 4 hours of free time and getting paid for 8, I don't know if this will ever happen again. 

 

We told you before this job that there were jobs like this, and while this is a super nice and easy job, there are also more out there. But maybe they don't all have to be easy! This has been a very good step for you, and even if your next job is harder or longer hours, that should just help you keep improving even more.

 

6+ months without any income does not sound good though! Hopefully things can move a little quicker with a lawyer around

When phrasing it that way, keeping a job might've been the better bet lol, not for the short term but just for how long they take to get a response back to you. If you can live without income for that long though, it would be a good time to focus very hard on meditation & drawing, because if you do end up having to get another job (possibly a longer-hours one) & are declined for SSI, you will not have this much free time again. So get ready to do everything you can that takes up tons of time! (You can still do anything while working full time, but you tend to complain about not having time to both meditate and draw while working, so sounds like those should be your heavy priority soon)

[TB]

I can still prioritize drawing and meditation while having this job though, except Monday and Tuesday if I sleep too long. I could still those days but I'd have to be very good at managing my time and be very diligent. 

 

Are you saying it would still be a good idea to quit though? I'm surprised, I thought you'd tell me to keep it too.

 

I just got done talking to my dad during my break and he said he'd keep it if he were me and that I'll probably get denied SSI again. He said he'll be surprised if they give me SSI, because they don't want to give it to the people they already give it to and don't like more people going on it and so many people sign up for it. 

 

I'm also unclear what my evidence is for my disability. I have the diagnoses but that didn't work last time unless it was because of some oversight on how to do the process due to not having a lawyer. Is having diagnosises enough? I also quit 2 almost maybe 3 job because stress but idk if they look at it that way or if they look at it that I'm lazy and wanted to stop working. Idk how to prove to them that working stresses me out. 

 

If I keep this job I still should be able to get SSI because I can't work full time because I can't handle working those kinds of hours but also there will be no room to give me more hours if my friend starts working here too. This is like the only job I might be able to do. You say there are other easy do nothing jobs but idk how to find them. My job coach said that out of all his clients, this is the most freedom he's ever seen in a job ever. They were really surprised that there is just no one watching me and I can do whatever as long as I get 2 rounds in 

 

There also honestly aren't many job opportunities in my town and this job is like a 5 minute bike ride away. If I get another job I might have to rely on someone taking me to work again and I am at the mercy of their health and schedule because they will often randomly not be able to take me to work which I was fine with because it meant I could call off again but if it is a job I like that is lost money and if it happens too much I might get fired, or even on the first time depending on the job because some jobs instantly fire you if you miss unless you have a doctor's note 

 

I'm like 70% on staying because I'm really scared I won't get ssi and will never find another easy job with so much free time in my town. But if it makes me not get SSI when I otherwise would have that is loss money because I'd make more on SSI than working this low wage job and having 100% free time is awesome. I wish psychics were real so I could ask one what I should do

[Reisen]

41 minutes ago, TB said:

Are you saying it would still be a good idea to quit though? I'm surprised, I thought you'd tell me to keep it too.

Oh, I thought you said it was already a done deal and you can't un-quit now. Yeah I'd recommend not quitting if you still have the choice, for the reason I said, if SSI really takes months to get back to you that's a looong time to go without any income, especially when they might just say no anyways. I don't think currently holding a job you've barely had for a month or two will sway things much, maybe if you had a stable successful job for a long time, but certainly not a new one where you're barely making any money

 

(Kind of figured you'd be in closer contact with your lawyer for them to decide for you though)

Edited September 19, 2023 by Reisen

[TB]

I like my new wallet. I can keep my key in it without fear of it falling out like my old wallet 

 

But yeah I can unquit now. They said I still can decide to stay, but I have to decide by tomorrow because if I wait after then then I'm officially out of the job 

 

And idk how the lawyer works. I already contacted them so I'm not sure I want to call again for them to just potentially say the same thing. I didn't get to talk to the actual lawyer I don't think. But somehow people get SSI with a job apparently if my job coach says he has clients that work on SSI so idk... 

 

Also if I get SSI can I quit my job without them taking it away? Will they increase the payment to me since I have no income then? Seems shady but another reason I'd want to quit is because I'd rather not have a job at all that isn't drawing. But it might just have to be that I need to make a living drawing first then quit my job. Maybe having the job will be motivation to work on drawing more because I don't want to have it. 

Edited September 19, 2023 by TB