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I slept until my alarm woke me up even though I distinctly remember turning off my alarm before going to sleep. I must have turned it off in a dream or something

I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.

 

 
"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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When I got up this morning my door was locked, even though there's literally no reason I would have locked it. I could've done it with the same muscle memory I lock the bathroom door with when I last entered my room before I went to bed, but the lock is slightly different and I feel like I would've remembered that... I've also never locked it on accident in the like 15 years I've lived here. Very weird

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Strange

 

Also I thought I was last post for like 2 hours... I didnt see bre's somehow

 

Not a winner afterall

Edited by TB

Creation for creation's sake.

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I hope my post I just made stays intact. Ban-evading or not, if someone wants help, I want to help them. And I feel like I said exactly what needs to be said - and I'm not sure they'll hear it in any other places they look.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Think my recent productivity could be partially or entirely explained by the not good person who stays here having been away a few days. Her being back now, I immediately feel a continuous tension in myself and am more paralyzed to do anything. Wish I knew what to do

Creation for creation's sake.

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The doors to our house are locked, but not my bedroom door. Also, I'm a light enough sleeper that opening my door wakes me up.

--

I don't know TB, you need an out. Unless you plan to live how you do forever, you need some bravery to head out on your own. Do you really not have any extended family who could help house you, or are you just afraid of having to have a job and take care of yourself? Kinda feel that myself, motivation issues and all, but my home life is great. If I hated the people I lived with I would've moved out with some extended family of mine, and I know that being in that situation provides the motivation to have a job/take care of yourself on its own. The hardest part is committing to doing the things, not actually doing them.

 

The sense of freedom might just be enough to combat the fear and stress of having to live on your own, long enough to get a grasp on your new life.

Edited by Luminesce
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Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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I'm not really close with any extended family. 

 

Having a job is also very hard for me for both motivation reasons you stated, but also social anxiety and avoidant personality disorder. It was bad enough I had to stop going to school from 11th and 12th grade. A job sounds far more stressful than school to me and I shut down in so many situations that are even mildly stressful.

 

They kind of compound on one another, because it is hard to be willing to do something I'm not very capable of doing and that would cause me large amounts of suffering, while also not wanting to do it in the first place.

 

My plan was to get good at drawing and make money doing something I find meaningful without having to ever leave my room, but I'm struggling at succeeding at that.

 

I wish I had more time to improve myself in an environment that wasnt so incredibly unhealthy, but now that I'm stuck here, I seem to improve at nothing anymore.

 

I also have most energy when I'm alone, so I'd rather live by myself than with family, but I also am not independent and I am too afraid to even drive, so if I was by myself I wouldn't be able to have groceries or know how to pay bills and taxes or whatever adults do

Edited by TB

Creation for creation's sake.

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