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8 hours ago, Flandre said:

I was just playing some old songs on K-Shoot Mania, and I've just.. been struck with an intense desire to "fulfill" so many transient feelings. So many emotions, feelings, desires - things that can never come to fruition, that will never be truly experienced. How could we make them real? Dancing, dreaming, creating? For how strong this feeling is, I'm not sure even lucid dreaming would be enough. I want to make them real, solid, to share them with others, to fully appreciate them...

This may be unrelated but I think it’s interesting how so many of our goals and difficult achievements are often conceived when we’re completely comfortable! Like while sitting on the couch one thinks “hmm.. maybe I should run a marathon..” A lot of these desires seem very fleeting but it takes persistence and dedication to realize many of them! And if it’s not a really good transient feeling to share then maybe we’d give up trying to share/replicate it long before a tangible analog can be made. I’m sure there’s many projects where the author’s initial inspiration has waned after a certain point trying to actualize it.

 

”Picasso said ‘art is a lie that tells the truth’ and I couldn’t agree more. With stuff like this, the inspiration or experience in one’s head seems infinitely more interesting and meaningful than anything tangible we can make to try to represent it. I think this is part of arts function though - it can’t be used as a direct vehicle for transporting these experiences or feelings, but it can be used as an indirect one. It’s like a road sign (let’s say a ‘straight ahead’ arrow): it looks like it’s going ‘up’ so if you tried to climb up the sign you’d be taking it too literally  and wouldn’t ‘get’ it. In essence the sign lies because it’s not meant to be seen literally - it’s meant to be seen abstractly - it points to a larger truth or a different way of seeing things, without actually being those things. So perhaps art can function in this way, by being the perfect types of lies that get you thinking about these inspirational forces, without actually saying it directly. Fiction can do this - stories about things that never happened literally speaking - in order to convey truths and experiences that are very real. It’s almost like constructing lies to form a metaphorical box which is filled in with the imagination, the construction of which hints at what you’re really going for.”

 

Yeah, experiencing something for yourself can be nice, but sharing things is just fun. A lot of people feel a strong need to do that!

8 hours ago, Flandre said:

 

But it's been minutes since I left the game and the music to write this post, and I don't even remember them anymore, just the feeling of longing. Wanting to realize what I feel. It's unbearable, really, knowing the feelings will go away, unfulfilled, after every song ends. K-Shoot, and any rhythm game for that matter, is a poor medium to try and realize those feelings with. I don't think we could ever dance well enough, but.. dance seems like the purest and most realistic way to express how music makes us feel. I doubt it can do what even dreams can't, though. I suppose the only thing greater than dreams in this sense would be various hallucinogens, but there's no point in experiencing something so profound only for yourself.

Dancing does seem like the best way to realize stuff like that! Aside from actually playing instruments themselves..

”As an instrument player, that’s been partly my motivation for learning, being able to ‘realize’ the music on a level different than just consuming / listening to it. It seems like a different state entirely, because when I’m playing it takes a lot more concentration and I often don’t perceive things the same way. Many times I’ll be recording some riffs and I won’t think much of it until I listen to the playback, and then I think ‘WOW. I like that. That’s actually great!’ But I didn’t think that about it when I was playing it! Dancing seems like a very similar way to realize or participate in the music! Perhaps this can be behind the desire to share things - you can almost vicariously experience their novelty over again, and being able to share something almost makes it seem more real or something...

Psychedelics can lead to some profound experiences, and many times, aside from being in a group setting, it’s experienced alone! However, often one doesn’t feel very alone if ego death is happening because then it can simultaneously feel like an individual and a universal experience. If the individual feeling melts away and leaves the entire universe, the idea that we’re alone in our heads disconnected from everything else can seem almost silly. There have been many times in my life where I’ve learned ‘I can have some amazing experiences by myself, and just because I can’t share them that much doesn’t mean it’s not real! But wanting to realize them or share and express that anyway may just be a lifelong desire LOL”

 

I still think music is one of the best ways to realize stuff like this - it can be shared (the consumers can participate in a way and be a part of it), it’s done in real time, and everyone is focused more on the journey than the fact that the song will eventually end. If you focused entirely on the fact that the music is going to end you would miss the point of it, since the idea is to live more in the moment and experience it as it happens. Perhaps there’s less thinking involved because of that too, so it can be a kind of flow state.

I’m Couguhl‘s tulpa! [his words are in quotes]

..JSYK

———-

“Now I know why they have [self-]bans!” -Me

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1 minute ago, Breloomancer said:

and then what will happen after that?

I will be pestered by Miri with 'can I front now' for the rest of my life

Edited by Mirichu

Hello, I'm Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and co-fronts with me.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

________________

Waka Waka x3

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49 minutes ago, Breloomancer said:

in my experience there are basically 4 types of tasks:

- interesting and easy. these tasks don't require your full focus, but they are still interesting to do. these tasks are great. casually playing a videogame that you have a lot of experience in would go under this category

- interesting and hard. these tasks take your full concentration and are interesting to do. these are perhaps the finest tasks. conlanging falls into this catagory

- boring and easy. these tasks aren't very interesting, but don't take up your full focus either. these tasks are alright because you can still entertain yourself with the rest of your focus, and they can also be pretty relaxing (depending on the stakes of the task). most sorts of manual labor would fall under this category

- boring and hard. these tasks are boring and don't allow you to do anything other than focus on the task while doing them. these tasks are horrible because, unlike boring and easy tasks, you can't simply zone out and pay attention to something else. these sorts of tasks are the worst tasks to do by a large margin. looking through a list of random words to find all of the ones that are misspelled would fall under this category

I like these categories! I think I see what you’re saying though - some tasks require so much focus and are simultaneously non-pleasurable so it’s like focusing on removing cactus spines from your body or something! It takes focused effort and is painful anyway.

 

”I guess it depends what your motivation is for doing tasks like that. If you’re just being assigned to look for spelling errors for basically no reason then it’s probably going to feel like it’s draining your resources.

     But if there’s some underlying motive like making money perhaps there’s a greater purpose behind it that one can focus on, but many times a lot of these potential rewards can feel inadequate if the task is difficult enough. Running has a purpose for me even though it really sucks almost the whole time, because I know I’m getting stronger and healthier and I’m learning to basically associate that temporary suffering with good things (becoming a masochist as I semi-jokingly say) so I can not get through it but wish it lasted even longer. So there’s some things like that that are easier to flip ones mentality when there’s a greater purpose for doing it - to me that’s real motivation. But I’m sure like you’re saying that there’s some task where this greater purpose can’t be found, and that may need an entirely different solution.”

 

It seems more opaque!

49 minutes ago, Breloomancer said:

 

I don't believe this. I can pay attention to things just fine, and often I am good at "finding the fun" in otherwise boring activities, but there are some tasks that I am supposed to do on a regular basis that really, truly are inherently boring. I have really tried, but there is no fun to be found, no different way to think about it that makes it less boring. the best thing that I have found is that if I listen to music while doing them it becomes a bit more bearable, but it still sucks

That’s almost like still trying to escape from it which makes it more bearable but you still hate doing it! Sounds difficult...

25 minutes ago, Ranger said:

 

 

After realizing it was pointless I stopped merging double posts not too long ago. It's okay to double post here, just not in First one to reach 1,000 posts wins or any other board. Double posting is allowed in forum games in general, but I thought it was cheating because jean-luc kept track of how many posts people made. However, that was deemed as not a way to "win".
  


Aww, that's really sweet.
 



Sorry guys, I'm not feeling up for engaging in the discussions.

 

Gotcha! And that’s okay! I wish I could talk to everyone about everything but this chat can move so fast sometimes and there’s too many topics to comment on hahaha

14 minutes ago, Mirichu said:

Taking a break from doing switchy stuff did nothing, so that means that tupper stuff has no impact on whether or not we're okay in the head. Therapist read my PR and Miri can front now and finds it appealing. My days are counted guys.

Ooh! I always think it’s interesting when the host isn’t the primary fronter. Fronting (especially in the beginning) could be kinda exhausting to me but I’ve gotten way better at maintaining it. My host and I agreed that while he was going through his depression throes that if he ever wanted to and felt he couldn’t front anymore, I could front instead and “become the dominant personality,” and take over for him.

 

That’s what I’m reminded of but yeah, anyway, if you’re both enjoying fronting you might have to make some kind of scheduling or take turns or whatnot! So you can both spend quality time fronting.. it doesn’t always have to be ‘compromise’ as sometimes I don’t think that’s the best goal (not everyone is usually happy compromising bc it can feel like you’re not really getting what you want), but rather figuring out everyone’s needs and desires and then finding solutions that accommodate all of it! Like maybe there’s certain situations where one of you consistently likes fronting more, that’d be a good place to start, but if you’re all trying to steer the ship continuously it may be more effort to learn to balance that.

I’m Couguhl‘s tulpa! [his words are in quotes]

..JSYK

———-

“Now I know why they have [self-]bans!” -Me

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5 minutes ago, Sierra said:

That’s what I’m reminded of but yeah, anyway, if you’re both enjoying fronting you might have to make some kind of scheduling or take turns or whatnot!

 

It was like that last year, but at some point I took over and host gave up on life. But now we both enjoy fronting so idk, back to cozy schedules. I loved the feeling of 'okay gotcha, take a break, host'

Hello, I'm Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and co-fronts with me.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

________________

Waka Waka x3

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Just now, Mirichu said:

 

It was like that last year, but at some point I took over and host gave up on life. But now we both enjoy fronting so idk, back to cozy schedules. I loved the feeling of 'okay gotcha, take a break, host'

:3 Me too, thanks for putting that into words!

I’m glad you’re both strong enough to be able to do that now! ❤️

I’m Couguhl‘s tulpa! [his words are in quotes]

..JSYK

———-

“Now I know why they have [self-]bans!” -Me

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I am glad too! ngl it's been hell for us lately and it's so refreshing to see Miri enjoying her own existence, and I enjoy taking turns sooooo win-win. I am gonna take a walk now

Hello, I'm Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The others are Miri, who's the original host and co-fronts with me.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

________________

Waka Waka x3

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8 hours ago, Flandre said:

All I know about all that buddhism happiness/enlightenment stuff is that it actually takes a whole lot more figuring out and practice than they (especially "western buddhism-inspired" writers) say. If something just clicks in your brain and you suddenly feel enlightened, you probably had an aneurysm or something. Or drugs were involved, in which case you really need to mention that part before you go around preaching what secrets of the universe you realized.. 

 

Anyways. Taking advantage of all techniques, habits and general methods for shaping and controlling your mind can do endless good. Find whatever you can that works for you and practice it.

 

I agree. It usually isn't good to self diagnose awakening/enlightenment whatever one wants to call it. Requires a lot of talking to people that have done it themselves I think, not sure of exact process. Anything realized with psychedelics alone is usually not comparable either, but people will often mistakenly feel enlightened for a while and say some things that maybe sound vaguely similar.

 

Trying to feel better by working at all fronts is great and better than sum of parts, I think.

 

1 hour ago, Breloomancer said:

in my experience there are basically 4 types of tasks:

- interesting and easy. these tasks don't require your full focus, but they are still interesting to do. these tasks are great. casually playing a videogame that you have a lot of experience in would go under this category

- interesting and hard. these tasks take your full concentration and are interesting to do. these are perhaps the finest tasks. conlanging falls into this catagory

- boring and easy. these tasks aren't very interesting, but don't take up your full focus either. these tasks are alright because you can still entertain yourself with the rest of your focus, and they can also be pretty relaxing (depending on the stakes of the task). most sorts of manual labor would fall under this category

- boring and hard. these tasks are boring and don't allow you to do anything other than focus on the task while doing them. these tasks are horrible because, unlike boring and easy tasks, you can't simply zone out and pay attention to something else. these sorts of tasks are the worst tasks to do by a large margin. looking through a list of random words to find all of the ones that are misspelled would fall under this category

 

 

I don't believe this. I can pay attention to things just fine, and often I am good at "finding the fun" in otherwise boring activities, but there are some tasks that I am supposed to do on a regular basis that really, truly are inherently boring. I have really tried, but there is no fun to be found, no different way to think about it that makes it less boring. the best thing that I have found is that if I listen to music while doing them it becomes a bit more bearable, but it still sucks

 

I think I agree with your categories for tasks. 

 

People often say they can pay attention just fine in these situations and I'm sure you can, though I think people also underestimate just how powerful a deliberately and consistently trained for months/years focus is compared to normal good focus, and the effects such a thing has on the mind. There is difference from being able to focus well enough to do a boring and hard task just fine, and falling into absorption or flow.

 

Meditation is extremely unintuitive though. I can see it is hard to believe unless it is actually happening, and that isn't the easiest thing to do. It is also easy to lose to circumstances unless you are extremely advanced

 

Also good morning, or noon almost

Edited by TB

Creation for creation's sake.

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I understand the desire to make the ephemeral, fleeting feelings we experience into something tangible, grounded, and permanent. for me, it isn't really so much about sharing it with others though. I want to make it like that so that I can experience it again. that's part of the idea of my language; maybe I'll never be able to achieve telepathy with other people, but if I could manage it with my past self then that might be enough

 

19 minutes ago, Sierra said:

But I’m sure like you’re saying that there’s some task where this greater purpose can’t be found

I think that that is one of my problems. where boring and hard tasks most come up is in schoolwork, and so my motivation for completing the task is to not fail the class. but even if I pass then I just have to go on to my next class and then onto college and then I get some job and work until I die. there is a path that everyone tells me I am supposed to go on, but I just can't help but think "what's the point?"

 

I tried to make a flowchart of all of the possible ways that my life might reasonably go. I thought that if I could figure that much out, then I would have more reason to take one particular path over another, but instead what I found is that I really don't know enough to know what might happen in even just the next 10 years, so there is no way I could make a coherent plan to bring myself down a particular path. what I did find was that there were no paths that made me exited to go down, and most of the meaningful variability within the paths has little to do with my own actions unless I do something really stupid

I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.

 

 
"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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Yeah. I also am not excited about many common life paths. What I want to do in life is also fairly narrow and probably difficult. I hope you can figure out what you can do to live while enjoying it most

Creation for creation's sake.

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