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On 1/22/2021 at 1:28 PM, Luminesce said:

Welcome to the south, where black people are still treated like they're secretly inferior to whites. For the record, the N word is the single most offensive word you can possibly say in most of the United States, and we all see its use as an expletive in the south as barbaric. (Also, the "south" really refers to the south-east of the US - from at least North Carolina and ending around Texas)

 

That's how black people are treated everywhere in America, across the board no one treats them fairly. I do however agree the south just happens to embrace being racist more than the rest of the country. I think it's because southern racists are louder, they participated in white flight and were bitter about it or couldn't get away. Police brutality is an American constant everywhere, and I think northern racists are just quieter and sneakier than southern racists. However, it gets complicated when you consider how segregated the north is compared to the south.

 

I should include the context in both my middle and high schools, most of the students were black. I'm pretty sure most of my not black classmates were smart enough to not use the n word, if not they were either given permission or they probably got whatever they deserved.

 


 

We're catching up, didn't want to leave out that critical context.

I actually use this as a form now, but it's not my main one. I'm still not a hippo, neither is Ranger.

I used to speak in pink and Ranger used to speak in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). He loves to chat.

 

Our system account

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Posting before I've read the last few pages because I just got on my computer but have food getting cold

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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On 1/23/2021 at 2:04 PM, Miichu said:

Do you guys experience existing more to the right or left when not fronting?

 

We don't have the right/left/back/center thing when in the back, but we sort of do it for our switching ritual and then think nothing of it.

 

We think of switching and possession differently from other people because we think of having 2 fronts instead of 1 front. We assume everything is possession unless we are trying to switch, and when we are trying to switch, our switching and possession fronts briefly overlap until the switch is complete. (This is why it's not ideal to have a headmate possess right after we switch).

 

In the possession front, you have lots of options to where you want to be in our "3d" space. In wonderland, you're in wonderland, regardless of where you are. If you're close to the front but you show yourself in imposed space, you might feel to the "left", "right", or "behind" the fronter if you want to get their attention, but you could also stand infront of them or at a weird angle, like on their head and reaching out to them. We assume that moving around in the front just gives you a leg up in being more likely to possess rather than be a prerequisite for it, and you could possess from any angle you want. And since all of this is the possession front, you are not disturbing the switching front. We think of Gray "inside" of the body while he's switched-in while the rest of us are kind of drawn "on-top" of him.

 

In short, I can be wherever I want- drawn over the body, on Gray's shoulders, hiding behind him, or standing somewhere in wonderland.

 

On 1/23/2021 at 2:08 PM, Breloomancer said:

it's variable. normally, even when fronting we are a bit dissociated and it feels like everything is a bit further away, but it isn't very noticeable except for when it isn't happening and everything feels so much closer

 

This vaguely reminds me of the time Gray accidentally possessed himself and felt a little dissociated from it. For whatever reason, Gray tried to possess his arm rather than move it... normally? It's equally as weird as having a double in wonderland and while fronting, the switched-in headmate having this be more or less the default.

 

On 1/23/2021 at 2:22 PM, Breloomancer said:

yeah. and then you notice that your legs are walking, but you aren't walking them, they are just going on their own to wherever you're supposed to go and you are just along for the ride, and so you stop walking just to make sure that you have the ability to stop walking, but then you just stopped walking before you got to your destination and in order to get to your destination you have to start walking again, but that would mean giving up control of your legs again. you want to start walking in a different direction to show your legs that you are in control, but you need to get to your destination and so you end up giving in to your legs and letting them walk you there

 

We haven't thought of walking like that, we try not to think about our automatic habits.

 

23 hours ago, Breloomancer said:

it's not just that my legs are on autopilot, it is that they are moving on their own; there is a difference. and also, it isn't that I always felt uncomfortable about it. for a while I just thought that it was kind of neat, and overtime a sense of wrongness developed around it. I guess that one part of it is that when my legs are just going on autopilot, I am still the one in control of them and could easily make them stop or change direction or whatever I want, but when they are walking on their own, there is a sense of uncertainty over whether I could make them stop moving, and that is kind of scary. it's like someone else is controlling your body and it isn't a trusted friend like a tulpa, but someone completely unknown. and sure, I trust my legs not to do anything bad, but that doesn't mean that I give them permission to just do whatever they want

 

22 hours ago, Breloomancer said:

it isn't a fear it is just a discomfort and it does have basis in reality

 

This is starting to sound more like depersonalization... I can't say for sure because we don't have much experience with it, if we have at all.

 

22 hours ago, Breloomancer said:

I have reason to believe that much of my current levels of dissociation is a symptom of gender dysphoria and so by solving that I could also solve this

 

I think that's entirely possible. Gray struggled with derealization when he was struggling with his mild trauma and seems to only struggle now when he is really stressed out or is having a panic attack.

 

23 hours ago, Luminesce said:

The right and a little forward is the natural place any of my tulpas or me not fronting show up. When talking to multiple of them at once we sort of fan them outwards, taking up that 90 degree area.

 

They can still be on the left with minimal effort though, primarily happening when 1) we switch (whoever switches out switches to the left), or 2) when doing imposition, any time we switch back to mindspace instead of imposing (basically seamlessly), the one being imposed is in the mindspace's 360 degree surroundings matching where they were physically imposed. If I impose someone to watch something with me at my computer or such, it's usually to my left, which means if we drop the imposition (generally lack of focus) and then I talk to them again, they're on the left in the mindspace.

 

Now I'm starting to wonder if the "front" is more like a headpressure thing than what I'm thinking of... and completely different from what we do.

 

23 hours ago, Luminesce said:

And I know it wasn't a big deal but I wish things like this were just made as their own threads, even if it's quick and easy it's still on-topic and of interest to some people

 

I don't mind moving my response there

 

15 hours ago, Luminesce said:

Dark theme is really messed up, huh? 

 

The mod tools are also broken like that, which is why I stick to light theme

 

2 hours ago, Jamie said:

Lol, did the pfp change trip you up?

 

Yes, yes it did.

I'm Ranger, Gray's/Cat_ShadowGriffin's tulpa, and I love hippos! I also like cake and chatting about stuff.

My other headmates have their own account now.

Temporary Log | Switching LogcBox | Yay! | Bre Translator

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2 hours ago, Ranger said:

Now I'm starting to wonder if the "front" is more like a headpressure thing than what I'm thinking of... and completely different from what we do.

 

Well, I was talking about when my tulpas are just active at all. They're either in that mindspace, or in the wonderland etc. Fronting is totally different?

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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8 hours ago, TB said:

I kept thinking I lowered my total tabs but I have over 90 now, it is stressful

 

"That's quite a few, I only have like..."

... 92, apparently.

tabs.thumb.png.efd8c9c4264fc530a03c1f56eca76b72.png

 

To be fair, a few of them are just meme images I intend to send soon, and the cluster of youtube videos at the end is all Blender tutorials I also intend to watch and close out of soon, while the last 5 tabs excluding the Youtube one are reference images for the next thing I wanted to make in Blender

 

The first 70 tabs are more or less permanent though (some of the youtube videos get cycled out for other ones, but they never decrease below like 25)

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Well, I use a plugin called The Great Suspender that redirects tabs to a page that supposedly takes less resources, though I think Chrome doesn't really load webpages until you click on them anyways

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Yeah, if you close browser and reopen it and restore tabs, they seem to be unloaded until they are clicked on. If I load up too many, it crashes

 

I have so many tabs partly because of things I intend to read or watch in the "near" future, but sometimes a video will remain in an unused tab without being touched for weeks or even months

Creation for creation's sake.

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