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My therapy has been over phone so there isn't really facial cues but yeah, if I manage to mutter a vague sound they will stop and say what and I can end up talking then fortunately. It is harder than if things were just balanced though but oh well. I hope it ends up useful in the end, too early to tell

Creation for creation's sake.

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My therapist (who is very good at his job) will basically lead the conversation constantly, until I want to talk about something myself, and then he just says nothing and listens the whole time until I stop talking, lol, at which point he talks about what I talked about

 

It's too bad not all therapists get this optimal strategy down

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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I see.

 

It'd also help if I was better at talking in general, especially under pressure and when anxious. It is hard to organize thoughts live. I feel to go into detail about anything and give coherent and clear information I have to type it over a course of time, but people don't seem to operate that way. Usually if someone asks you a question they want a response instantly, and if even 1.5-2 seconds pass without beginning to speak they will start to think you didn't hear them. I just can't do that it seems

Creation for creation's sake.

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(edited)

Maybe plan (write down, if you want) your topics and what you want to talk about ahead of time, then. Even I give at least a few minutes of thought into what I want to talk about before each appointment, and I never plan things.

Edited by Luminesce

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Yeah I usually try to think about the main things I want to bring up, though it can still be hard to go into detail about, so with my old therapist I use to just write letters and hand them to him sometimes. Since covid I can't really do that anymore, though maybe now I could be able to text this therapist. Unlike previous one this one seems to welcome calling them if I need them, and I am not sure but I think they use a cell phone. I can text my case manager, so if I can text my therapist anytime that would be potentially tremendously good

Creation for creation's sake.

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Mine sometimes doesn't talk as much as I want her too, but really she knows me well, and that means that sometimes there's 5 minutes of talking that isn't really what I'm trying to talk about, and if I'm sweated out just a little bit I'll get to the iffier stuff that is the stuff people say "go see a therapist" about. 

 

Last time she talked most of the time, because I was asking her about hospice social work, and wouldn't you know it, she started out as a hospice social worker. And so she talked to me about it and it was really useful information. I probably won't bring it up much past this because lel doxxx but I am probably going to do hospice volunteering over the summer. That can mean a lot of things, from visiting someone at their house three times a week and doing their chores and buying their groceries, but for me it's probably going to be more like going to an actual hospital building/old folk's home and visiting several people on the same floor for an hourish each, over 4 hours or five hours, once or twice a week. 

 

Therapists can be a lot of things. I've had people say things to me like "When will you be done with therapy?" and the truth is I am "done" and maybe have always been "done", if you define "done" as not NEEDING a therapist's guiding hand to better yourself. I started seeing this one when I was about 14. I've known some people whose therapists give homework and whatnot and are a lot more actively involved. Mine is a lot more of a contact/support person. I really do feel like, if my family was the sort where I had aunties and uncles around, peripheral family members that acted like bonus parents or like a pastor both me and my mom had high rapport with, I wouldn't go to a therapist. But I don't, and so when shit is really bad between me and my mom, I bring her to my therapist to have an adult mediate. I needed three letters in support of my maturity to go to college at 15 and got them from my therapist (a social worker), my school social worker, and the woman I volunteered under. 

 

Sometimes I've switched from weekly to every other week, even just once a month at points. It just depends who's in my life and what's going on in my life. I only text mine about scheduling or if I'm bringing my mom, I think once or twice I've texted her to let her know "I really don't want to talk about X but I need to talk about X" beforehand, to assure that I talked about X and did not pretend it wasn't a thing. 

 

I don't feel like I have any specific mental illness diagnosis at this point, if that makes sense. Have I been formally diagnosed with things for largely insurance reasons? Of course. But in therapy it's never "How is your depression?", I don't have depression. I'm just sort of a flawed, bad person in many ways, but it's like... ball in my court now, if that makes sense. 

 

TLDR; I don't go to a therapist to "fix me", my therapist is a contact/support person at this point. It's also very useful to know a social worker who knows about, well, social work and how to become a social worker, when you yourself plan to become a social worker...

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

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I see.

 

I wanted to make a more in-depth reply but I am having trouble thinking

 

I guess so far this therapist has given homework. Whatever happens I hope it all works out in the end

Creation for creation's sake.

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