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it's not strange, but it's something that I would recommend against. having an official statement that you are indeed X thing is validating, but it's better to be able to be yourself without needing external validation. with something like an illness ofc you want to get a diagnosis by someone who knows their stuff, but when it comes to identity, worrying about what boxes you fit into just gives you arbitrary limitations

 

be sure to bind safely! a worryingly high percentage of people have unsafe binding practice which can cause long term damage to the thorax, so be double sure that you have a good binder and that you are wearing it properly and that you aren't wearing it for too long

I have a tulpa named Miela who I love very much.

 

 
"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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I personally really like these boxes 😗 But I get the concern. The only "diagnosis" I would get out of it is "other gender disorder" or something along those lines, don't know how to translate it, so it's a rather big box to disappear into.

And I'm doing my research! I got a binder from a reputable site and made sure to get the measurements correctly (I hope at least), and I don't plan to bind the max recommended time all of the time. It hasn't arrived yet but I'm super hyped for it.

CM - They/them - 30th April 1997 - Host of the system

Desmond - He/him - 21st April 2014

L - He/him - 5th May 2014

Nevira - She/her - 14th December 2014

Misa - She/her - 5th December 2015

Roska - He/him - 22nd July 2019

Danyla - They/them - 13th July 2020

Progress report  Art thread  Our lounge thread

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binder talk and general points 

Spoiler

 

I've worn a binder for 7 years. Gc2b or bust for everyday wear. Don't cut your tits off without binding for a few years at least, that's my advice. The whole "don't seek a permanent solution for a temporary problem" thing. And for anyone lurking, again it's been 7 years, they don't permanently alter your tits, at least not in my case or anyone else I've heard about. A binder is actually the most supportive garment I can think of- it's not wearing anything for years that causes saggy boobs (hence why in some countries like France, supportive yet comfy night bras are a thing.) Hormones will to a minor extent though. Wearing a binder is so natural to me, and I have pretty much no body dysphoria at this point (I consider myself pretty much "cured", and pretty much post-transition), so top surgery for dysmorphic/cosmetic reasons isn't really a big priority. But la boobies are a significant factor in hormone production, believe it or not. Many trans men can't grow full beards until hysterectomies and/or top surgery, and develop more masculine features afterward due to the reduction in estrogen, progesterone, some other chemicals- although it's hard to parse these things out from the fact that it's also correlated with time, and so probably time on hormones- and just like with cis men, it can take decades for a trans man's facial hair or other features to fully develop on T. 

 

Also, this is a weird point, but no one notices boobs appearing and disappearing, or if they do, no one feels the need to say anything about it. I had a weird stage when I was 11/12 where I wore a binder sometimes and a sports bra sometimes and I always felt like someone was going to ask me where my boobies went, but no one ever did. I absolutely refused to wear a bra when I hit puberty because I wasn't a woman and I knew it strongly. People DID have questions about that, so I found that a certain sports bra was used for binding and asked for it, and so even the first and only bras I owned were used like binder 😂. This whole situation made it so that my mom really could not give a shit when I asked to buy a binder- it was "Please, just wear something so people don't think I'm neglecting you." 

 

I went and sought out a formal D.I.D. diagnosis and I honestly regret it, because now I feel like it may haunt me. Luckily it doesn't seem like those papers are in whatever medical system is transferred around (neurology never brought it up.) You don't want to be mentally ill on paper unless you're trying to access the resources. If you already have a standing relationship with a therapist or someone who can make dxs, you can wait to get a formal gender dysphoria dx until you actively want surgery- if you want surgery in the future, you'll have to go back and get letters specifically for that surgery's recommendation/clearance anyways. At least that's my understanding with things in the US. Also please remember- a medical diagnosis is only a statement for that specific period of time. Being formally diagnosed with gender dysphoria doesn't mean that you'll have it forever & forever amen or that you must have specific treatment to stop having it. The test is also pretty much purely subjective, i.e. mostly your own opinions about yourself- hopefully you can see how malleable that is. 

 

I really don't give a damn who binds and who doesn't. Binding is older than bras, because the simplest way to deal with "boobies in the way" is to wrap something around your whole torso- "cups" didn't come into play until much later. But if you hate any part of your body enough to want to cut it off, you should think about why. Not everyone should have gender dysphoria treated by gender transition, hormones or surgery- either because their dysphoria would probably not be alleviated by that, or simply because their transition endeavors are unlikely to be successful (and therefore their general quality of life and/or gender dysphoria is likely to worsen.) The default should be to try to explore the least-intensive options, which I mean to say, bind or don't bind, don't matter to me, but if you can figure out how to be at peace with your boobs, do that. Shit! I'm a trans guy and I'm at peace with mine. Isn't that the goal? Going topless isn't that important, and you can swim in a binder, or a binder and a swim shirt if you care about people seeing the binder- I sure don't. 

 

I haven't met a single soul like me in terms of transition path. I feel incredibly dismissive toward the whole "community" nowadays... the fact that I don't know anyone besides myself who's "done" is upsetting and feels discongruous. Kinda feel that way with tulpamancy but not as bad because I do know a handful. 

 

 

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

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Sounds good, but unfortunately I'm a cis white male so my agreeing with you on these things probably doesn't mean much

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Yes it does matter! That's sort of the whole point! If trans things only make sense to trans people, that's f*cked up! 

 

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

Our Thread

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It's kinda 50/50 on mattering

---

 

Just finished watching the Game Grumps finish Danganronpa (THH), it was pretty good (and I still think Bear should play it)

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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I mean yeah it's not like I wanna rush in to get surgery or anything, I fully plan to bind for quite a while before making any decisions about it. The thought's just been on my mind a lot recently and I'm entertaining it. Besides, it's gonna take at least two years before I'm given a diagnosis if I still want it by then, apparently it's a rule that you must've known about your gender identity for at least that long before a formal diagnosis can be considered. It's still something I want to talk about with a professional, if only to sort out my own thoughts on it. Who knows, there might be another reason I'm feeling the way I am about things, although I doubt it. I don't currently have a relationship with any therapist/nurse/psychiatrist, since I moved towns those services got cut off and I have to kinda start over with it when I decide to do so.

CM - They/them - 30th April 1997 - Host of the system

Desmond - He/him - 21st April 2014

L - He/him - 5th May 2014

Nevira - She/her - 14th December 2014

Misa - She/her - 5th December 2015

Roska - He/him - 22nd July 2019

Danyla - They/them - 13th July 2020

Progress report  Art thread  Our lounge thread

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2 hours ago, Luminesce said:

It's kinda 50/50 on mattering

---

 

Just finished watching the Game Grumps finish Danganronpa (THH), it was pretty good (and I still think Bear should play it)

Same, and thankfully they said they'll be playing DR2.

Yo, my name is Sean and I'm the host of 2 tulpas: Sente and Mae. You'll know when they're talking because Sente talks in yellow text and Mae talks in blue text.

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I regret telling so many people about plurality. Therapist prob finds it annoying how I talk in plural to her 'stop doing it'. Psychiatrist totally thinks I am DID and I hate it. Friends are ok but what if they accidentally refer to us in plural in front of someone else?

 

Jamie's post reminded me of it. I regret it now.

 

 

Hello, I'm Miichu, and I'm the main fronter of this system.

The other is Miri, who's the original host and co-fronts with me.

Progress Report and my Art Thread

________________

Waka Waka x3

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