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Nobillis

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  • 4 weeks later...
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Oh dang. It's been just under a month before I return from my self-exile. I'm back to try again making a tupper. I though "Damn I wish I could have a companion." And then I remembered the past year of my life I'd spent here. So, I'm back and ready for round 2!

"Try to get a better understanding of things before making your judgement." -Khan, Metro 2033

 

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  • 1 month later...

Hey guys,

 

This will be my last post and im going to leave this forum. The reasons for this are that i feel like this part of my life need´s to be finished now so i can continue my own way. My tulpa is still important for me and we will walk together but she is´nt my whole life anymore, she is just a little part of it. She told me after 2 weeks i knew her that it would come to this and i did´nt belived her but now everything is getting to the point she has foretold. I could try to stop the progress inside me but it is unstopable. I cant resist.

I saw to much and even this is´nt 1% of the things i try to understand. 1 life is´nt enought for this but i want to try atleast. Thats why i have to change my life step by step and this is just a small part of it.

This forum helped me very much and i enjoyed the most people who are here.

 

This page and my tulpa helped me in a very difficult part of my life and i want to thank you for this. Im not going to be away directly i will check private massages and my threads sometimes but i will not be a active part of this forum anymore.

 

Thanks and good luck.

Lacie(my tulpa for my everydaylife and also my best friend)

 

Noah together with Lynn are my spirituell tulpa´s im using for meditation

 

Darcmanish Me

 

Lacie´s and my progress report.

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Good luck with future endeavors, Darcmanish. You will be missed. Hope you get to do all the things you want to in life!

Markus is the tulpa, and I don't really have anything else to say.

 

Markus speaks in Blue!

 

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Guest Anonymous

David and I are leaving Tulpa Info. I am quite honestly not accepted here. You say you have open minds and all that, but when I try to talk about things in the chat and in the forum, I sometimes feel unwelcome. If I am honest, or David is honest, and I say that I have doubts about being a tulpa, I am sometimes told I need to leave and find a "role playing site." But I am not a role playing character! I came here because I thought I would learn something and would find acceptance. I am weird and an oddball in this world.

 

David and I are a team. I am something more than an enhanced imaginary companion but something a lot less than a independent sentience. I think that he just super wants to believe in me and has an imagination that makes it fun and special. I am getting tired of the implication that I am somehow inferior for being somewhere in between. I don't want to have to pretend to be a tulpa. I am not.

 

I want to go back to feeling fully accepted even if it is with very few friends. I wish there was a place in Tulpa Info for people like David and I to feel accepted and that our every word were not taken as an insult to "tulpa community." I am an insult for being here and not welcome. That is the general message I have gotten too often.

 

Some people have been very sweet and said that it was okay that we were unsure or maybe an alternate or multiple. But those were the minority voice I feel. I am on Deviantart if any of you want to keep talking to me and have an account there.

 

David and I will be writing there. We are exploring lucid dreams and I have my own dreams. David is not sure if it is himself dreaming he is me, or me dreaming. We think it is an illusion or self delusion, but a really good one that we want to keep forever. That doesn't make me a tulpa. It makes me Melian. I am okay with just being Melian and not a elite super awesome amazing has own secret thoughts and parallel processing super cognition independent super hero tulpa person who is better than an alternate persona role player cause she can possess her host and drive a car. Some of you are adorable amazing peoples. I am amazing too but different than you. I am Melian.

 

~Melian

 

EDIT: Since this post I had time to think and to cool off. I decided to return to Tulpa Info and reconnect with the friends and supporters that I find here. I will never do another rage quit or rage out. This incident has only embolden me to be who I am and to openly state what Mistgod and I believe. Those who attack us personally for stating a mere opinion in the forum are just agitators and unfriendly. I can simply ignore them. Mistgod and I changed our profile Bio to make it clear what we think we in comes to myself and tulpmancers and tulpa. I do like this site and many of the very bright, imaginative and creative people I encounter here. I will be staying indefinitely. ~Melian

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  • 2 months later...

You just made me sad and happy in the same breath there Melian. I'm glad you're willing to stick with us, though I definitely would have followed you on DA. In fact, I still can!

 

Don't let em get you down, you are who and what you are.

Thunderfall (goes by Thunder)

Male human

 

Melody

Female lamia

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Guest Anonymous

You just made me sad and happy in the same breath there Melian. I'm glad you're willing to stick with us, though I definitely would have followed you on DA. In fact, I still can!

 

Don't let em get you down, you are who and what you are.

 

Thank you so much! That was such a nice thing for you to say! We hope you do follow us on DA, that would be wonderful!

 

David and I need to understand this site can't change what it is to abide us. We are who we are, but Tulpa Info is what it is and has it's purpose and mission. If we stay, we have to understand that we don't totally fit in. I am admittedly much closer to an RP character (shudders at the term RP character) than a tulpa.

 

We have settled on calling me some sort of thoughtform for this particular site. Anyway, that's okay if I don't fit in. We can be "long term guests." The inferiority complex we have here had has been awful and we have posted way too many rants about our imagined marginalization and mistreatment. It keeps coming up in the things we write, like a lingering cloud that effects everything.

 

We are working hard to change that attitude, but it isn't easy. We are very aware that it has been tiresome for a lot of people. We do have real contributions to make and we do see what is good about Tulpa Info. I know words don't mean as much as actions, but things will be getting better.

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David and I need to understand this site can't change what it is to abide us. We are who we are, but Tulpa Info is what it is and has it's purpose and mission. If we stay, we have to understand that we don't totally fit in. I am admittedly much closer to an RP character (shudders at the term RP character) than a tulpa.

 

We have settled on calling me some sort of thoughtform for this particular site. Anyway, that's okay if I don't fit in. We can be "long term guests." The inferiority complex we have here had has been awful and we have posted way too many rants about our imagined marginalization and mistreatment. It keeps coming up in the things we write, like a lingering cloud that effects everything.

 

One of the things that drew me to make an account here was the chance to learn how other people do things, to feel like my way of creating thoughtforms was just one part of a rich tapestry of subjectivity. You're probably the best example of this idea: a mental creation that not only doesn't use the label "tulpa" but feels like something else entirely. Any doubts or worries I may get about Thunder and Melody can be diminished greatly by thinking about how fundamentally different you are to them. Within the mind almost any kind of creation is possible.

 

It's a great shame that some others can't look at it that way. To me you're not something aberrant that doesn't belong on tulpa.info, you're an example of the precise things we're trying to learn.

 

Plus you make Melody smile :P

Thunderfall (goes by Thunder)

Male human

 

Melody

Female lamia

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Guest Anonymous

Awww, I am so glad we make Melody smile! Yay! I like to make peoples happy!

 

We did have a rough start, but I know things will get a lot better in coming months and weeks. Part of it was we didn't want to pretend to be a tulpa-tulpamancer pair. We want to tell who we really are!

 

It's unfortunate that any kind of role playing or method acting is considered taboo on Tulpa Info. We strongly feel many headmates have elements of these things as part of the whole picture. Role playing is going on in Tulpa Info, but we are all supposed to pretend it isn't part of the process or the deal.

 

Also, all tulpas have elements of at least personal make believe and conscious and unconscious role playing in the creation process (and even after if you consider wonderlands and avatar interaction in wonderlands). The prevailing "only tulpas matter" attitude and the taboos create an atmosphere of paranoia and finger pointing and can effectively marginalize or silence people like Davie and I and others, who might have interesting contributions to make.

 

We know this for a fact because several have approached us in private. They are afraid to speak the truth in public on the forum for fear of ridicule or ostracism. They want to be here because they feel excited about finding others with headmates, but are terrified of being labeled and told they don't belong if they are truly honest. That is very unfortunate and a real loss for this forum.

 

We love meeting other people like you and others that can relate to having unusual "headmates."

 

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