Jump to content

Why doesn't everyone make tulpa girlfriends?


Recommended Posts

I just want to say that I agree with TulpaCouple and what they've said, as well as express my appreciation for them taking the time to write all that out. Tulpae are to me an inherently unique type of relationship that doesn't exactly mirror any normal human relationship. So it's my belief that replacing people with tulpae is like replacing apples with oranges, they just aren't exactly the same, so if you choose to have only one you are still missing out on something. Because of that I actually think that it would be the most enjoyable to have both. In that case you can enjoy the pros of each and perhaps even mitigate some of the cons (tulpa can help you deal with bad relationships, etc, etc). I understand that human relationships aren't as simple as "Go obtain relationship" or that perhaps certain relationships aren't even desired by some people, but I still think that tulpae shouldn't ever become an excuse to become any sort of complete social recluse (never dealing with other people ever, or as little as possible).

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 89
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Listen, if you guys can't get in a relationship for whatever reason, then don't GIVE UP on it, WORK ON YOURSELF SO YOU CAN HAVE REAL FRIENDS AND REAL GIRLFRIENDS. You're going to be missing out on so much if you just give up because it's too hard and making an imaginary girlfriend is easier.

 

This is what I'm going to be doing come September, I've resolved to be more social, and yes, hit the gym on a regular basis. That being said, I still fail to see how being in a relationship at this point in my life can result in anything but frustration and hurt feelings for me. Or to sum my feelings up in an image:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_zBNX_ZSHPb0/TQXdv_1UO_I/AAAAAAAAENE/Z2oDZ9gNIw0/s1600/funny-pictures-disregard-females-acquire-currency.jpg

"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

I kinda get pised off when people think that you're a social outcast just because one doesn't have a girfriend. The only time im meeting women is when I want to hit it. Yes, I am that shallow. I my self have trust ishues (hate that fucking word) with people. Got burned way too many times so I just gave up in searching a relationship. Now does that mean I'm making a imaginary girfriend? Heck no. I realised that no matter what I may think of my tulpa at certain points, I understand that I must never, EVER consider her as a girfriend. Why? Because in a long run, I would end up hurting her, and honestly I love her too much, so I can't take such risks. So whats my point? Well, like someone said, people change, people come and go... And if they dont, well, I do not care, im fine as it is, and with somebody like my tulpa in my life, I can honestly say I will not have any need of more friends other than the ones I know. But I cant forget about my own needs as a human being.

 

like FigN01 said, i wasn't directing my post at people who don't have a gf. I didn't even say the words social outcast, i said social hermit. I have no problems toward people who don't have a gf, i don't either. but I do have a problem with people who flat out give up on having any type of relationship with a girl, including just casual sex, just because they're probably having some life issues and can't get any girls.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

don't GIVE UP on it, WORK ON YOURSELF SO YOU CAN HAVE REAL FRIENDS AND REAL GIRLFRIENDS

 

This whole way of thinking has always seemed pretty messed up to me.

 

Work on yourself so you can have real friends and a girlfriend? How can someone work on themselves? We're not cars that can be tuned up and enhanced. Everyone is as perfect as they will ever be right now, it's just a matter of if other people feel the same way, but why should you give a shit about what someone else thinks about you?

 

When people say work on yourself or improve yourself it either means change your appearance to match up to what other people consider attractive or learn how to act and put up a fake personality so that people will be more likely to enjoy being around you.

 

That's the nice thing about tulpas. There's none of the bullshit and lies that comes with real relationships, friendship or otherwise. You're just yourself and they know you completely, you don't have to put on some act or try to change yourself.

Link to post
Share on other sites

 

This whole way of thinking has always seemed pretty messed up to me.

 

Work on yourself so you can have real friends and a girlfriend? How can someone work on themselves? We're not cars that can be tuned up and enhanced. Everyone is as perfect as they will ever be right now, it's just a matter of if other people feel the same way, but why should you give a shit about what someone else thinks about you?

 

When people say work on yourself or improve yourself it either means change your appearance to match up to what other people consider attractive or learn how to act and put up a fake personality so that people will be more likely to enjoy being around you.

 

That's the nice thing about tulpas. There's none of the bullshit and lies that comes with real relationships, friendship or otherwise. You're just yourself and they know you completely, you don't have to put on some act or try to change yourself.

 

actually, we are like cars that can be tuned up and enhanced, like you said. NOBODY is as perfect as they ever will be right now. why would you think that? Usually, most people don't have that much control in how their looks and personalities turned out. They just go through life aimlessly and are shaped by their upbringings and their genetics. It's not until they set on a path of self-improvement that they actually put some control back in their life to become the person that they want to be if they had a choice.

 

Usually people who have trouble with friends and girlfriends have issues with their social skills. They are troubled by things like low self esteem, depression, anxiety, and possibly some mental disorder. Those are all issues that can be worked on and resolved. And once you work through them, you won't just be putting out an act so people will like you, you'll GENUINELY be a fun and enjoyable person that other people would want to be around. Wouldn't that be a nice thing to have? Ask yourself why wouldn't you want to work towards that goal of being a happy person who enjoys being around others and who others enjoy being around.

 

It's not goign to be easy to change yourself if you have some of those issues. Making a tulpa will be far easier than changing yourself. But it'll be just as worth it if not more than making a tulpa.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I have more issues with people asking me out than me asking them out. We just met, fuck. We don't know each other, why are you already wanting to date? Just leave me alone, I don't even like coffee...

The THE SUBCONCIOUS ochinchin occultists frt.sys (except Roswell because he doesn't want to be a part of it)

Link to post
Share on other sites

If everybody makes a tulpa girlfriend, our evolution has failed us.

 

Actually, there are too many people living on Earth for the planet to reasonably sustain. I've learned about it in more than one environmental class. If there were less people, things like unemployment and overburdening of resources for energy and food would be alleviated to some extent. And stuff like antisocial behavior is advantageous to reduce the amount of breeding going on. For example, when wild rabbits are in constant proximity to one another, they'll eat less, become more susceptible to disease, and become more aggressive towards the same sex, which keeps their population numbers in check.

 

Basically for humans, I think stuff like antisocial behavior and homosexuality are adaptations that favor a reduction in population.

 

/tangent

Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest

NOBODY is as perfect as they ever will be right now. why would you think that?

 

Who decides what a good personality is though? Why are some personality traits (confidence, charisma, etc) inherently good and why is the opposite bad?

 

The only way to consider a personality as perfect or imperfect is when you judge it against whatever personality type other people consider as perfect, but if base your life around their opinions and start forcefully rewiring your identity then you basically just decided that your own personality is flawed and you should change it to match up to the standards that other people have made up.

 

Is there anything more pathetic than that? Sure, you may have a real girlfriend and real friends by the time you're done, but you taught yourself to hate who you were and decided to redesign your identity around what everyone else wanted you to be so that you could fit in. You can't improve yourself because there is no such thing as good or bad personality traits. There's nothing to improve.


 

And once you work through them, you won't just be putting out an act so people will like you, you'll GENUINELY be a fun and enjoyable person that other people would want to be around. Wouldn't that be a nice thing to have? Ask yourself why wouldn't you want to work towards that goal of being a happy person who enjoys being around others and who others enjoy being around.

 

 

Also, this is the other problem. Too many people base their perception of themselves around how other people see them. It's no wonder that so many people have social anxiety, depression, and all sorts of issues when their opinion of themselves is created by what other people think of them.

 

If you isolated someone from all other people and then one day asked him what he thought of his personality then I'm sure that he would believe he's a fun and enjoyable person, but whether or not other people will agree with this is subjective and also unimportant. Self-hatred derives from comparing yourself to others. It's impossible to hate yourself if you are alone. If you feel happy and you believe that you're a fun and enjoyable person then that's all that matters, even if everyone else on the planet thinks you're a complete asshole. Your own opinion is the only opinion in the world that ever matters. If you allow your thoughts and actions to be shaped by what everyone else thinks then you essentially become something like a puppet or a trained dog.

 

The common line of thinking in our culture is that your own opinion of yourself is irrelevant and you should constantly strive to alter yourself so that you become increasingly more appealing in the eyes of everyone else, but isn't this a very sad and depressing way to live your life? Unable to be happy with who you are until you're convinced that everyone else approves of you and wants to be around you.

Link to post
Share on other sites

 

Who decides what a good personality is though? Why are some personality traits (confidence, charisma, etc) inherently good and why is the opposite bad?

 

The only way to consider a personality as perfect or imperfect is when you judge it against whatever personality type other people consider as perfect, but if base your life around their opinions and start forcefully rewiring your identity then you basically just decided that your own personality is flawed and you should change it to match up to the standards that other people have made up.

 

Is there anything more pathetic than that? Sure, you may have a real girlfriend and real friends by the time you're done, but you taught yourself to hate who you were and decided to redesign your identity around what everyone else wanted you to be so that you could fit in. You can't improve yourself because there is no such thing as good or bad personality traits. There's nothing to improve.


 

Also, this is the other problem. Too many people base their perception of themselves around how other people see them. It's no wonder that so many people have social anxiety, depression, and all sorts of issues when their opinion of themselves is created by what other people think of them.

 

If you isolated someone from all other people and then one day asked him what he thought of his personality then I'm sure that he would believe he's a fun and enjoyable person, but whether or not other people will agree with this is subjective and also unimportant. Self-hatred derives from comparing yourself to others. It's impossible to hate yourself if you are alone. If you feel happy and you believe that you're a fun and enjoyable person then that's all that matters, even if everyone else on the planet thinks you're a complete asshole. Your own opinion is the only opinion in the world that ever matters. If you allow your thoughts and actions to be shaped by what everyone else thinks then you essentially become something like a puppet or a trained dog.

 

The common line of thinking in our culture is that your own opinion of yourself is irrelevant and you should constantly strive to alter yourself so that you become increasingly more appealing in the eyes of everyone else, but isn't this a very sad and depressing way to live your life? Unable to be happy with who you are until you're convinced that everyone else approves of you and wants to be around you.

 

I don't see why you think it's so pathetic to change yourself. Listen, your personality does not define you. At least, it doesn't have to. Why should it? Why should we take pride in the personality we currently have, it's not like we put any work into getting it. Changing your personality to make yourself more fun and attractive is like losing weight and eating healthier. There's NO downside to doing it, it'll ONLY make your life more enjoyable and fun. There's absolutely no reason not to expand your personality. Notice I use the word expand, not change.

 

Oh, and you say there are no good personality traits? What is confidence? What is the opposite of confidence? It's shyness. What is the root of shyness? You're afraid. Afraid to say what you want, to express yourself and be yourself. You're saying this is a good trait to have, that being afraid is somehow desirable? You think people who are afraid WANT to be afraid? If they had a choice, you think they would actually choose to be scared and fearful? Think about it. It makes no sense to say there are no such thing as bad or good personality traits.

 

Look, you're not changing yourself just for other people's approval. You're changing yourself so that you can get more out of this life. We only live once, why be stuck living a life of isolation?

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...