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I think I'm trying too hard, and failing because of it


Kvothe

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I took a break a bit ago due to some RL problems (I had issues visualizing before that though) and came back to tulpa forcing, and having an extremely hard time trying to visualize

 

What my problem is I am trying to focus VERY hard on making things appear (If I don't focus hard my mind will immediately wander to something stupid) so if I'm trying to describe her or think about her it has to be with immense focus it seems recently.

 

However I'm so intent on seeing something (hell, anything!) I just can't get anything to appear

 

A quote from this guide "When you focus too intently on any sensation you can block it out, you can end up questioning yourself and sensing nothing (the same problem some people have with visualization). You want to take note of all of the details you could possibly imagine, it is better to have lots of vague notions rather than only one or two developed inputs, try not to focus too hard on any specific sensation." I think perfectly describes my problem.

 

I've tried the suggestion of image streaming via a friend and after reading a few things, but as said, I lose focus immensely fast if I don't give it my all, and when I super-focus I'd put it as I'm trying too hard, thus having issues :C

 

I guess my question is, what can I even do about this?

 

I've tried a few of the focus guides, but my mind is just so hectic anymore I can't get anything done

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I would suggest counting to thirty and taking a breath at each number and see if that helps. you might also try drinking a cup of coffee before your forcing session.

 

If you are still having a tough time visualizing your tulpa, try to write out a few details about what they look like, i would then suggest to read it back to yourself. If you are artistic you could draw it also.

 

You dont have to work on visualization first. you could try narration or personality forcing then try visualization later. Stress is bad for tulpas because it is distracting for you when you are trying to focus on them.

 

Its kinda hard to give really good advice because I don't understand things that are going on in your life but let me know if any of those help, I could suggest more because I was very distracted and spending time with my tulpa was tough, so I kinda know how you feel.

I don't like calling her 'my' tulpa, I don't own her. She is the tulpa that lives with me in our body.

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While it's totally optional, you might try meditation. You'll see it repeated many times over on this site, but what you believe to be true is indeed so. If your problem stems from not being able to quiet the mind, then meditation could be of great benefit.

 

I'm no expert on the subject, but a basic technique would be to simply close your eyes and focus on your breathing. How it enters through your mouth and nose and flows down your throat, fills your lungs, etc. What that goal is here is not to "think about nothing", per se, but to become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

 

So, everytime your mind does eventually start shooting you different thoughts, don't reject and push them away; acknowledge them and let them move on. Don't follow the various trains of thought running through your mind, just let them pass through. Focusing on your breath acts as an anchor, of sorts, in doing this.

 

When you do eventually follow those thoughts, which it will happen, and is not bad, just revert your focus back to your breath. Eventually those runaway thoughts won't seem as tantalizing to you and your focus will be a little easier to maintain.

 

Even if this doesn't work, I would still give it a shot anyway, since nothing bad can come from it. If you do decide to start, though, know that it shouldn't replace your forcing sessions, as the mere act of focusing on the tulpa can be benefical for its development.

 

Best of luck to you

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I've tried the suggestion of image streaming via a friend and after reading a few things, but as said, I lose focus immensely fast if I don't give it my all, and when I super-focus I'd put it as I'm trying too hard, thus having issues :C

 

I guess my question is, what can I even do about this?

 

You tried, but you didn't keep going because you're too busy in feeling that you're incompetent in being able to visualize well. I had to go through the same struggles when image streaming, or just about anything new to me. I spent months doing just that alone every other day until I got better and better, even to the point where 3 hours or more of doing it was a no-brainer. I had to get into the habit of knowing that I can get better at it, and just working through the pain of conquering the critical voice in my head that's wondering what those attempts would lead me to.

 

Because if you tried image streaming, or some activity for a few months now, and still have failures, then it's a completely different matter on consistency here. If you're just talking about something you've done a few times and just quit, and still get intimidated by not getting anywhere, you just have to keep going.

 

If you're wanting a method that cures all incompetency without putting in a lot of effort, and persevering with your shittiness, like everyone will probably have to do, then you'll just be jumping around method to method not getting anywhere.

 

 

I know for sure from personal experience, especially with image streaming, visualization comes by naturally and automatically. You're just not working hard enough, even if you state you are. I still get crazy visualizations, especially late at night after work, and I don't even try. It's like just slipping in a little thought, and my mind just explodes in visualization.

 

It's something that builds onto you, but working through pain is just something you have to get used to, I guess. Also, about the breathing thing, I can attest with experiential claims that it does help a lot. It's a lot better, for me at least, to have calmer breathing than fast pace breathing that might break me out of my "zone" with imagination. But at the same time, fast pace breathing may be suitable for certain circumstances (e.g. racing in your head, or some intensive moment).

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