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Jay's first tulpa


chasingtheskye

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It's up to you. I don't think it's that confusing. I've had four people go by the same name at work.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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So my mom, dad, and sister got together for dinner and a movie. Just came back. I think my tulpa stayed in my room. He may not like company so much. Anyhow, i'm gonna read to him a little more later, maybe dance and listen to some music.


Oh, wow. That sounds like it would have interesting results.


We've created our wonderland!! It didn't take long at all, really. I sat in a comfy chair with DJ Splash playing in my earbuds. I had my tulpa sit in front of my and held his head between my hands. We closed our eyes and i swear i saw the jewel in the middle of his forehead flash.

We imagined up a jungle-type area, a clearing surrounded by trees and ferns. There's a cliff at one end, a waterfall thundering down into a river that curves around one edge of the clearing. On the narrow strip of land on the opposite side of the river, there are two red rosebushes right by the base of the cliff. The sky is blue and pretty. If i tried harder, i'm sure i could hear birdcalls and other noises. It seems nice. I'd like to explore it with my new friend.

I wonder how he feels about all this. I'm considering doing some more work with him to get him at least communicating emotionally.


Time seems to pass slowly when we're in wonderland. It feels like we've been dancing for a long time.


I think he wants an S name. Sayu or Sayo and Splash have come to mind.

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What do you know! He's using his ability to change his shape. It seems when we're walking around, he's kinda small. When we're lying in bed (we do that a lot, haha) he tends to be kinda big, maybe four feet in length. That makes for a really nice cuddle buddy.

While we were dancing earlier, he shifted from his true espeon form to a more humanoid form. He seemed to be around 5'8", a bit taller than me. It was like an anthromorphic espeon. We danced in our wonderland to techno. It was so great. We're resting up now. I feel a bit tired and i think i should stop forcing for tonight. He's been napping a lot; maybe his creation was tiring? I dunno. I'll be giving this a break tomorrow. ...after we read. :)


Saiyu. Saiyu.

If he doesn't like it, it can be changed.

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turns out insomnia won't let me go to sleep.

I laid out a blanket almost identical to my own beside me on the bed for Saiyu. He's currently curled up and sleeping peacefully. I doodled him a few times. maybe i'll post those few doodles here.

it's really weird how i see him. i mean, he's not there, i can't physically see him, but i /feel/ him. i can tell he is there, i see him in my mind's eye (well enough to draw him!), but...!

i'm getting tired. i shouldn't rant about this. goodnight for real this time.

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You're definitely very fortunate being able to see him in your mind's eye. Lots of people have lots of trouble with that. Do you do a lot of drawing? I've found that visual arts people tend to have better visualization.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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drawing's more of a hobby/time waster for me, so i'm not great, but good enough to be satisfied with the results.

and yeah, i feel really lucky to be moving along so quickly.


in other news, i meant to give Saiyu a break today, let him nap and lounge around. But maybe half an hour ago, he showed up, while I was outside watching fireflies. There are a lot of those where I live. He ran ahead into the grass and stared at them all. As we walked back inside, i thought about him growing his wings again and chasing the bugs, but instead he shifted to the humanoid form and followed me. proof of sentience? i sure hope so! :D

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I love fireflies. We get a lot of them here as well, and on a nice night, they make the fields just glimmer.

 

Sometimes break days can be better than forcing. I think the best day Fench and I ever had together was her half-birthday. I took off of work, and we spent the day together. Not forcing, just together.

 

Saiyu certainly sounds sentient to me!

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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He is! He's been doing things without me having a chance to think about it and that's proof enough for me!

Another note--he's spoken to me! I think it actually began yesterday, but even though I talked back to him, i feared it was parroting. I took my dog for a walk and he came with. (we saw a couple hawks and he tried to be like them--i saw his wings again!) I talked to him about why we walk the dog, and he began distincly asking questions! I asked if i was parroting and before i was halfway through "parrot" he practically sang "no, no, no!" i think he's as happy as i am.

As we walked home, he asked if we could read more. As soon as i said yes i felt a soaring sense of excitement. Now we have emotional and telekinetic responses!

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