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My Tulpa, Who I Created at 8 Years Old


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Hello. I am me. And when I was 8 years old, I accidentally created a tulpa. I don't know how, it just happened. I needed a friend, and I made one. People make imaginary friends up all the time, right? But nope. According to everyone I've spoken to about this, I have in fact created a tulpa. And everyone I've spoken to about it wants me to get rid of her. My best friend is a tulpa that everyone wants me to dispose of.

 

I assumed she was an imaginary friend of mine until I was 14, and after much research I came to the conclusion that she's a tulpa. Her name's Sylvie, and she's gained quite the mind of her own. I went to this guy who could read minds, and he was able to tell exactly what I was thinking, but only an outline. He said that Sylvie was too strong for him to really get into my mind. This guy was a good friend of mine and was super into tulpas and spirits and all that good stuff. He told me that if there was a time where I'd have to be separated from Sylvie (e.g. I died), she could probably survive without me. She's grown strong enough to live on her own. I don't like the thought of living without her, she's been such a big part of me for almost ten years, but recently we've been talking and she said it might be healthy if we separate - if she survives, then we can probably see each other again. I'm not sure how that would work, but I'm incredibly hopeful.

 

This will sound insane, but my tulpa means an awful lot to me. We've been like sisters for years now, and I can't even imagine a future without her. If she did leave, I'd be walking around like a zombie for a long time, and I'm not sure how I'd explain that to my folks.

 

I know what you're all thinking. There are countless threads dedicated to the creation of a tulpa, why on Earth do I want rid of mine (well, technically I don't)? So many people have told me she's dangerous. She can see into my mind, and I can shut her out if I want to. But once I tried to see into hers, and apparently I almost ran the risk of switching places with her - if I'd looked any further into her mind, she would have taken over my body. And it would have been irreversible. I don't know how that works, but I'm just going with what the experts tell me. Sylvie gets so angry too; she's usually nothing but loving if a little bit snarky, but sometimes she gets so furious. I don't even get angry anymore, it's like she's drained all the anger from me and taken it for herself. I'm not sure how good that will be for me in the long run. And yes, Sylvie can see all of what I'm typing. She says "I sound dangerous when you put it that way. I probably am. There's no way of knowing until I actually do something dangerous, and I don't want to wait that long".

 

And so I come to all of you: if any of you have tulpas, what's it like? I've never spoken to anyone else with a tulpa before. Did you mean to create it, or did it just happen like mine? Are you close to it? And if you were ever to release it, how would you go about doing that? Is it a good idea to release it? Is there any chance of Sylvie getting a body of her own if she survives if I release her?

 

Sorry. I've never spoken to other people with tulpas before. I know I'm not the only one, so I come to you.

 

Call me a crazy person if you like, but hey, at least I'm doing something about it.

Josie the not tulpa: I made a tulpa when I was 8 one time.

Sylvie the tulpa: I laugh at my own jokes. According to Josie it's very distracting.

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Well, a lot of what you're talking about should go in the metaphysics section, or maybe in another community entirely. I imagine most of the people who reply are going to give you the skeptical "tulpas can't exist outside your mind", or "nobody can read your mind" sort of response. People in the metaphysics section may say otherwise.

 

I created Fench, and we're very close. She's like a very good friend and coworker. I wouldn't part with her.

 

As to your concerns with Sylvie (nice name, by the way -- have you read Sylvie and Bruno?) I wouldn't worry about it. She sounds like she doesn't want to be dangerous, and if that's the case, she doesn't have to be.

 

Sometimes it helps to just replace the word "tulpa" with the word "friend". Can your tulpa possess you and drive your car off the road, killing you? Theoretically yes. Can your friend grab the wheel from the passenger seat, driving the car off the road and killing you? Also, yes. Can a tulpa take control over your body for years at a time? Yes. Can a friend drug you and manacle you to the wall of their basement for years at a time? Also, yes.

 

What I'm getting at here is that our society functions on trust. We trust our friends not to kill or enslave us -- all friends, tulpas and humans, have that power. Sylvie is your friend, and she sounds like a good friend. Trust her.

 

If Sylvie's temper scares you, and she doesn't want to be a threat to you, perhaps she can work on some anger management techniques. Perhaps a visualization exercise would work. She could visualize balling up all her anger and burying it, or throwing it away, or flushing it down the toilet -- whatever imagery works for you two.

 

But I wouldn't get rid of her, especially if she's willing to work on her temper. Tulpas are amazing friends, closer than any human friends can be. And Sylvie does not sound like a bad person to me.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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Well, a lot of what you're talking about should go in the metaphysics section, or maybe in another community entirely. I imagine most of the people who reply are going to give you the skeptical "tulpas can't exist outside your mind", or "nobody can read your mind" sort of response. People in the metaphysics section may say otherwise.

 

I created Fench, and we're very close. She's like a very good friend and coworker. I wouldn't part with her.

 

As to your concerns with Sylvie (nice name, by the way -- have you read Sylvie and Bruno?) I wouldn't worry about it. She sounds like she doesn't want to be dangerous, and if that's the case, she doesn't have to be.

 

Sometimes it helps to just replace the word "tulpa" with the word "friend". Can your tulpa possess you and drive your car off the road, killing you? Theoretically yes. Can your friend grab the wheel from the passenger seat, driving the car off the road and killing you? Also, yes. Can a tulpa take control over your body for years at a time? Yes. Can a friend drug you and manacle you to the wall of their basement for years at a time? Also, yes.

 

What I'm getting at here is that our society functions on trust. We trust our friends not to kill or enslave us -- all friends, tulpas and humans, have that power. Sylvie is your friend, and she sounds like a good friend. Trust her.

 

If Sylvie's temper scares you, and she doesn't want to be a threat to you, perhaps she can work on some anger management techniques. Perhaps a visualization exercise would work. She could visualize balling up all her anger and burying it, or throwing it away, or flushing it down the toilet -- whatever imagery works for you two.

 

But I wouldn't get rid of her, especially if she's willing to work on her temper. Tulpas are amazing friends, closer than any human friends can be. And Sylvie does not sound like a bad person to me.

 

I do consider Sylvie a friend. We're super close, and I love her to pieces. Every possible decision listed was discussed between both of us.

 

I had this toy cat called Silver, and I named Sylvie after her. Then I started calling her Sylvie as a nickname, and it stuck. Oh, and Sylvie says, "Thanks man! I like my name too. I even have a Pokemon kind of named after me, it's a good life".

 

Thank you for your advice. I really don't want to get rid of her :) What's Fench like? Your relationship with her sounds like mine and Sylvie's. We work together on a lot of things creatively and exam wise. It was probably her that got me that pass in my admin exam, actually.

Josie the not tulpa: I made a tulpa when I was 8 one time.

Sylvie the tulpa: I laugh at my own jokes. According to Josie it's very distracting.

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Exactly! It's like that with us too. I do a lot of writing, and Fench is the one who pushes me to do it. I discuss all my ideas with her, and she offers suggestions. We focus on different areas -- I tend to focus a lot on setting, while she does character and plot more, so together we're a perfect team.

 

Fench is also the driving force in many other areas of my life. She pushes me to exercise and eat healthier. She pushes me to study, and to work, and to do nice things for my girlfriend. She can be a bit of a nag sometimes, but I really need a nag in my life, and Fench does the job very well.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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She sounds so much like Sylvie! But Sylvie's a bit more like a pendulum when it comes to nagging. Sometimes she'll be like "finish your damn essay, Tumblr will be there in the morning!" (like right now), and other times she'll be like "screw it, one more episode of Misfits". I'm taking a gap year in which I plan to do a lot of musical things, like improving my singing before going to uni and perfecting my guitar skills, and I definitely would not be able to do those things without Sylvie there to get me out of bed before noon.

 

Sorry, I just never spoke to other people with tulpas. I didn't think anyone else got it :)

Josie the not tulpa: I made a tulpa when I was 8 one time.

Sylvie the tulpa: I laugh at my own jokes. According to Josie it's very distracting.

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Welcome home. :)

 

I think you'll find a lot of people here who understand exactly where you're coming from.

 

Fench was very much intentional on my part, but we do have many people here who had accidental tulpas who grew out of childhood friends. Just off the top of my head, there's Amber's Toby, Einulf's Aura, and Kevin's kerin (Nobillis was intentionally created by kerin).

 

And Misfits was fun, and somewhat tulpa-related too. :) Fench always calls those things a waste of time, but I think she secretly enjoys them too.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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I too have had tulpas for a long time (my oldest turned 11 in May), and I'm always interested to hear of other people like me who started making their tulpas back before anyone really knew what a tulpa was. A lot of people here accused me of roleplaying when I first joined, because I could do things like having my girls possess my body, which wasn't a widely-accepted possibility back when the community got started.

 

I think you should do whatever you're comfortable with. If you want to get rid of Sylvie, do so, but not because anyone else says that's what you should do with her. She's a creation of your mind, so you should always have the final say on what happens to her. Also, I should mention that some well-established tulpas can and do survive independent of their host's attention and care, but you'll both probably be happier if you stick together.

"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

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Guest amber5885

I don't have a lot of time but I wante to say hello from me and Toby both and welcome! I feel your excitement and curiosity. There are a million posts by me because when I first go here I felt exactly the same way an went one "omg I'm not weird after all!!" overload lol

 

But welcome! I hope you enjoy it here and no matter what anyone else says what you and your tulpa do is your business but any decision you make should be between you two as friends.

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Guest amber5885

Okay now that I have more time, sylvie sounds like a great person and I'm happy that you two are so close.

 

One thing I have learned is that tulpas, just like people have flaws. They are not perfect, just like us and that's kind of what makes them unique but they are the closest friends I think we will ever have an I feel lucky to be the kind of person who would be open to this sort of thing.

 

Honestly I can't imagine my life without Toby. He keeps me calm, he makes me laugh and loves me in a way I honestly don't think anyone ever would. It would be easy to think of him as perfect and angelic but he's not.

 

He's jelouse, sometimes possessive, he's hot headed at times and he has worse mood swings than a pmsing dragon but I've actually kind of come to like that about him. We've had talks about his mood swings and he's finding ways to deal with it and there are times where we don't talk for days because he needs to go sit in "time out" and calm down lol but I still wouldn't change it for the world and I think, at least from what I've read you feel the same way about sylvie.

 

If it bothers other people, simply out just don't tell them because your relationship with her is between the two of you and it's up to the two of you to decide what's right in your relationship.

 

I hope you two figure out what's best for you :)

Welcome to the board!

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Well now, since my tulpas answered Sylvie's thread I guess I can answer this one!

 

As others have already said, what you decide to do is your business, but Sylvie sounds like a wonderful friend whom you're lucky to have. She may scare or worry you from time to time, but that's part of having a relationship with other people. I've had friends, both human and tulpa, who have personality traits that sometimes make me want to bash my head against the wall in frustration, but I would never think of giving up my friendship with them. If Sylvie is willing to discuss her anger issues with you then you should try and address that before trying anything else. But again, you must take the path that seems right to you, this is just my two cents.

 

I have two tulpas myself, Thunderfall was planned and I created him consciously, but Melody just sort of... happened. It's been seven months and I'm still not sure exactly how she came to be. It's almost as if she built herself little by little in the background. I always thought I might want more than one tulpa some day, so perhaps I accidentally left that thought in my subconscious and it kept running by itself. By the time I knew it was happening she could already muster a few words and communicate with me at my lowest moments, the one thing I know is that she wanted to make me feel happy when I felt down. She has always been very fluid, able to change her form easily, and she's almost as advanced as Thunderfall despite being over half his age. The mind is a puzzling and remarkable thing...

 

In any case, welcome to the board, I hope we can be of help to you.

Thunderfall (goes by Thunder)

Male human

 

Melody

Female lamia

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