geru

My experimental tulpa

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Day three.

 

I started waking up earlier since I started tulpaforcing. I usually wake up at 10 a.m. but I woke up at 6:20 a.m. two days in a row. Could it be because of tulpaforcing or it has nothing to do with it? Does it mean that Amanda is an early bird?

 

Also, I'm having a little problem while visualizing Amanda; images of her doing lewd stuff randomly appear in my mind. I don't know if she is doing it or if it's my dirty mind's fault, since she can't move for herself yet. I read in some thread that young tulpas can confuse sex and love, so I tried to explain the difference and told her to avoid any sexual activity or thought at least untill she's vocal, because I feel it could be counter-productive, and it was making me feel kinda uncomfortable. Those images still appear, but less frequently.

 

I want her as a companion, not as a sex-mate. Is there any way to make her understand it clearly? Could she get upset or something?

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Welcome to tulpa.info! You're here forever. So I can't wait t'see further updates! ^^

 

Anyway, regarding your problems/questions.

 

From my experience, your brain might not be used to the extra load of visualization and general creation and such, and it may be adjusting. Or it's entirely coincidental, stuff happens, y'know? I experienced sort of the same thing when I started, so you're not alone.

 

And... Yeah, the whole lewd image thing happpens. A lot. More than I would admit. I think young tulpae are confused and send wrong signals a lot, that and to be honest, we're a tad perverted. No use denying it.What I do in these situations is focus and calm myself. Take a big breath, and ignore the hell out of them. Thats the only true way to assauge intrusive thoughts. And, of course, talking to your tupper always helps.

 

I used to have a hard time forcing because everything would spin and flip out. Not pretty. But it goes away the more you force. So as long as you keep on keeping on, you'll be good. Starting out can be rough so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me a PM any time. I'd be happy to chat and help in any way.


Name: Erin

Form: Animu girl, sorta kinda.

Personality: Awesome.

Working on: Strengthening vocality and visualization

 

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Day three.

 

I started waking up earlier since I started tulpaforcing. I usually wake up at 10 a.m. but I woke up at 6:20 a.m. two days in a row. Could it be because of tulpaforcing or it has nothing to do with it? Does it mean that Amanda is an early bird?

I doubt that it's tulpa-related, honestly. Are there any outside noises that could be waking you up? Has your room been letting in more light in the mornings (e.g., you left the blinds open)? Have you recently had to get up early and your sleep cycle hasn't readjusted to late mornings yet? Have you been going to bed earlier or sleeping more during the day? There are all sorts of more likely explanations as to why you may be waking up earlier.

 

Also, I'm having a little problem while visualizing Amanda; images of her doing lewd stuff randomly appear in my mind. I don't know if she is doing it or if it's my dirty mind's fault, since she can't move for herself yet. I read in some thread that young tulpas can confuse sex and love, so I tried to explain the difference and told her to avoid any sexual activity or thought at least untill she's vocal, because I feel it could be counter-productive, and it was making me feel kinda uncomfortable. Those images still appear, but less frequently.

 

I want her as a companion, not as a sex-mate. Is there any way to make her understand it clearly? Could she get upset or something?

 

Those images are probably intrusive thoughts, especially since you've said she isn't capable of moving on her own yet. If you have any sort of communication established, you could ask if that was her or not, but I'd wager it's only intrusive thoughts and not her actions. The best course of action here is to ignore those images, remind yourself those are just intrusive thoughts and not her actions, then continue forcing as if nothing had happened.

 

I'm sure she already understands you only want her as a companion, especially if you've already explained that to her. I don't think that's anything to be concerned about, anyway, since the sexual thoughts are most likely just intrusive thoughts on your end.


 

 

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Thanks for replying, I feel less worried now. I'll have to work on avoiding intrusive thoughts.

 

No special update today because nothing interesting happened. I've been narrating and spent some more time on personality.

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Day four.

 

Something weird is happening. Yesterday, before going to sleep, I visualized Amanda sleeping on the sofa. Today I woke up and visualized our wonderland. She was still asleep on the sofa. I didn't know if I should wake her up or let her sleep. Then I finally decided to wake her up, but I didn't know how to do it, so I just visualized her standing next to the sofa. Now she is standing next to the sofa AND sleeping on the sofa. I feel like I created another Amanda or a duplicate or something. Is this a kind of intrusive thought? How can I fix it? How do I know which Amanda is the "real" one?

 

-edit-

 

I think I've solved the problem. I just forgot about it as if nothing had happened and started visualizing Amanda normally.

 

-edit-

 

Ok, it didn't work. When I visualized our wonderland, I could still "feel" the sleeping Amanda on the sofa. So I imagined the standing Amanda getting inside the sleeping Amanda and waking up. I didn't know how to explain it so I drew this. I think it's working this time.

 

Is this kind of stuff normal or I am the only one having these problems?

untitled.PNG.ee2dd5cfeb8b9fb70deb7311ed7660e4.PNG

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It has happened to other people before. I think you handled it very well though.


"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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Today I couldn't visualize as much as I would have liked to. I've been busy and my head hurts (because of Amanda, I hope).

 

I've been narrating as usual and tried parroting a little so I can start imagining her voice.

 

I haven't perceived any sign of sentience yet... I don't know if I should be sensing something already.

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Day five.

 

I've been feeling lazy and unmotivated. No active forcing today, but I've been narrating a little. I think I heard Amanda saying "uh-huh" while I was talking to her but I'm not sure.

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Day six.

 

Today I made some anatomy for Amanda as recommended in this thread.

 

I've been narrating and visualizing. I don't want to parrot too much because I'm afraid of getting parrotnoid.

 

I've improved our wonderland. I created a lake so we can go for a boat ride and a park with two swings and a slide.

 

And that's all for now.

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I'm still alive!

 

I've been forcing for ten days and I haven't sensed any sign of sentience yet.

 

I won't be updating daily. Maybe I'll update once a week or until something interesting happens.

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