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So you wanna switch? Do you, really? Might be able to help that.


SevensSystem

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Author's Introduction

Hello, forums. First, I am not active here a lot. You might be wondering why someone who seems so new might be writing a guide. Let me introduce myself. I am Seven, one of a system of six. We are a DID system of four, with two tulpas. We can't 'possess', because all we have is switching. We have been quite reckless in how we have handled tulpas, because we are already used to headmates/alters. A friend had a want to switch, and we shared what was learned from the recklessness, and that might help a few of you out. That said, let us begin, shall we?

 

State of the Tulpa

This is the first bit I firmly believe most have wrong. You spent time forcing, they became active, you both talked about switching. If you're to this point, first thing holding people back is preconceived notions and perceived limitations. We have had similar results with both of our tulpas, and know that most of what people say they can or cannot do falls in line with what they are told they can or cannot do. If you ignore all that, they can do a whole lot more than you think they can.

 

People talk about the required forcing, weakening if you don't strengthening if you do, fading, and other rubbish with tulpas. Why rubbish? It is. Once they exist, their existence is as much, if not more, on them than the host. Our Kara, when she became who she is, we wanted her to fade. She got stubborn, and only calmed down once we accepted her. Many say you need to maintenance force, and I firmly believe that's only true if they believe it to be true. Neither of our tulpas believe it, we don't force them, and they are as much of us as the rest with no signs of going away.

 

So first step is breaking free of the notions and limitations and them realizing they have control over their own destiny and have every right as you to exist.

 

Losing Control

You want to switch? You're the host? You have the easy job. Let go. That's all. You know what's going to stop you? I can tell you. Trust. Ever see that trust exercise where you cross your arms, and fall back into your partner's hands? Trade hands with mind. You simply let go and let yourself relax and fall back into your own mind.

 

Want some tips to get started if you're having problems? Don't tweak out on caffiene before you begin trying. Avoid the sugar. Put on some relaxing music, and I don't mean 300bpm techno. Your first switching experiences will likely be with you still partly there, so don't expect to drop completely out before they take control, you just need to relax enough they can. It is a lot easier than it sounds. Once you repeat it a few times, and as they get better and better control, you'll learn how it feels and be able to fall farther and farther out.

 

To expand on this just a little bit, and make it absolutely clear.. some think it requires total dissociation from the body to achieve switching. Whoever told you that probably doesn't know how to switch, or you're reading a guide by someone who doesn't do it. You can switch perfectly fine into a backseat role by simply relaxing. You aren't dissociated, you are still there, but so are they. No need to get entirely out, just relax and let them control. Entirely out will come with time.

 

So step two is simply learning to relax.

 

Taking Control

This one is for the tulpa. You have the hard job. Odds are, your host has drilled into you that they must force you to exist or you'll stop. That you must go through months or years of rigorous training to be able to switch. That you must be given permission, forced enough, or yada yada yada. Screw all that, it's a lie.

 

Do you exist now? If the answer is yes, from our experiences, and from your answer, that means you exist. Your host would say they exist. Puts you on a pretty equal playing field. The only one that matters anyway. All those things that others say limit you, or you must do before, or whatever else? Toss them out the window. The only two factors that matter before being able to switch are: do you want to switch in, and does the host want to switch out. That is all. There are no other limitations.

 

Do note, it really only takes one of those to cause things to happen. If they want to switch out and you don't want to switch in, the body might end up grasping at straws and forcing it to happen for you. Flip side, if you decide you want to, and they don't, things can get a bit blendy.

 

Really though, it just comes down to a matter of doing. Not wanting to do, not thinking about doing, nothing about the lead up. That is where most get it wrong. There is no need for lead up to the act of taking control. You just need to take control. If you want to switch and host wants to switch then they just need to relax and you need to step up to the plate and do something.

 

You both getting ready to try? They not relaxing? Tell them to. Boss your host around. You need to realize, if you can't make a demand of your host and tell your host what to do to help the process in any way that benefits you taking control, then you're not taking control, and will find taking control of the body nearly impossible. See a pattern there? Take control!

 

So step three is realizing all it takes is taking control and not waiting to do so.

 

Baby Steps

The flesh can be weird. At first, your experiences will likely be short lived as the host panics. Adrenaline and other hormones affect things a bit, as you are sharing one fleshy, human body. Don't worry, you all will move past that as you both learn your roles better during switching.

 

Keep at it a while and it will become second nature to be able to tell your host you want to take a few hours in the evening to talk to your friends, or want to schedule a part time job three nights a week for yourself, or whatever it is you decide you want to do with your portion of life. Why do I say your portion of life?

 

Step four is accepting you are you and exist along side your host and do not rely on them.

 

The Actual Process

What? What are you expecting here? You already know it by now if you've been reading along. There isn't magic to it. You just need to go and do it and stop telling yourselves it needs to be worked up to.

 

Some Final Words

Whoever the tulpa is just needs to realize, once they exist, they no longer rely on the host for sustenance or permission for anything. The host created them, and in doing so, instilled in them every right to exist as they, themself has. In this realization, they are no longer a construct, but a being on equal footing to the host.

 

You both have as much right to life as the other. Once you both truly, deeply understand this, you will both be able to share life and the fleshy body you both inhabit. Do not let others tell you what your limitations are or what you can or cannot do. That is entirely up to you. Once you do learn to share and share alike, then do make sure you make time for each other to both enjoy what parts of life you enjoy most. You have a shared life experience, and both of you will need to learn to work out a schedule for who gets to do what in daily life now.

 

Additional Note

You may notice, once the process starts, the host can snatch back the body easily and quickly even when they do not want to. As reckless as we have been and offering control around and ignoring rules has still shown one single rule to be true. However it is not limited to just switching, but all of life. Whoever spends the most time in the body will be the most practiced with it, and generally win battles over who gets it. Can be a nuisance when you first get started, but as you both share time more and more, you will find yourselfs both practiced and on more equal footing.

 

-Seven and Aegis

Alters: Aegis, Seven, Belle, and Demetria with Tulpas: Kara and Enyo

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Guest Anonymous
State of the Tulpa

This is the first bit I firmly believe most have wrong. You spent time forcing, they became active, you both talked about switching. If you're to this point, first thing holding people back is preconceived notions and perceived limitations. We have had similar results with both of our tulpas, and know that most of what people say they can or cannot do falls in line with what they are told they can or cannot do. If you ignore all that, they can do a whole lot more than you think they can.

You should back up these claims with some examples to make your arguments have more punch and authority behind them. What more can I do than what I think I can? You, as a writer, should be telling me. You should also give an example of the "recklessness" you mention in the introduction, I think. You make lots of statements without really having a strong foundation supporting those statements.

 

People talk about the required forcing, weakening if you don't strengthening if you do, fading, and other rubbish with tulpas. Why rubbish? It is. Once they exist, their existence is as much, if not more, on them than the host. Our Kara, when she became who she is, we wanted her to fade. She got stubborn, and only calmed down once we accepted her. Many say you need to maintenance force, and I firmly believe that's only true if they believe it to be true. Neither of our tulpas believe it, we don't force them, and they are as much of us as the rest with no signs of going away.

I like the general idea you try to convey with this statement, but I'm unsure what to think of it. Your statement applies to forcing tulpas, but the general belief seems to be that they need attention to stay around, not “forcing” specifically. What happened when you wanted Kara to fade? Did nobody inside your head talk to her or give her attention? For what amount of time? I'm asking because I'm unsure whether you have enough proof to make this statement, and I think you could better word it differently if you feel like you do have enough proof to say this. Right now, this paragraph seems like a rather weak example to start off your guide with, so consider revising it.

 

Losing Control

You want to switch? You're the host? You have the easy job. Let go. That's all. You know what's going to stop you? I can tell you. Trust. Ever see that trust exercise where you cross your arms, and fall back into your partner's hands? Trade hands with mind. You simply let go and let yourself relax and fall back into your own mind.

It seems like your main goal in this guide is changing the host and tulpas' belief systems to make it easier for the host to have faith in their tulpas and in their own ability to let go of the body. I like the concept, but I find that here, your wording could be a lot better. This part of the guide should be something that will give hosts the belief that they can let go if they trust their tulpa, conveyed in a more positive, reaffirming way. You say that this process is all beliefs, and beliefs are best changed in a positive way. One belief changing system my headmates and I have been using the last few days is Chris Walton's, which basically makes you focus on a positive emotion and then suggesting the beliefs you want to adopt to yourself. From what I've seen, people are more suggestible when approached with a more positive attitude, and your paragraph here has a rather negative tone, which conflicts with the message you're trying to convey. Consider revising this bit.

 

Your first switching experiences will likely be with you still partly there, so don't expect to drop completely out before they take control, you just need to relax enough they can. It is a lot easier than it sounds. Once you repeat it a few times, and as they get better and better control, you'll learn how it feels and be able to fall farther and farther out.

To expand on this just a little bit, and make it absolutely clear.. some think it requires total dissociation from the body to achieve switching. Whoever told you that probably doesn't know how to switch, or you're reading a guide by someone who doesn't do it. You can switch perfectly fine into a backseat role by simply relaxing. You aren't dissociated, you are still there, but so are they. No need to get entirely out, just relax and let them control. Entirely out will come with time.

My host is working on switching out right now. At this point he's at some kind of in between point, where he tries to not pay much attention to the body and what I do, but is still unable to divert his attention while I do things. He is in the back seat, and in your definition this would fall under switching, if I'm not mistaken now. In the vocabulary we're used to, that would still be “just” possession. Is the most accepted definition not that possession is when the host is still with the tulpa and paying attention, and switching when the host is able to divert his attention to do other things, being able to be “away” from the body? I would suggest reconsidering the terms you use here, because at this point, they conflict with what some people see as possessing and switching. At the very least, I would add a glossary to your guide with personal, specific definitions of switching and possession. That would clarify a lot for your readers.

 

Taking Control

This one is for the tulpa. You have the hard job. Odds are, your host has drilled into you that they must force you to exist or you'll stop. That you must go through months or years of rigorous training to be able to switch. That you must be given permission, forced enough, or yada yada yada. Screw all that, it's a lie.

Strong examples, that I rarely see in this community. Most people seem to already have adopted beliefs that everything is easy to achieve in this process. Even so, I am all for the idea of believing in having the right and potential to do anything you want to achieve as a tulpa, so even though this is worded a little strong, this is good for making tulpa readers believe in their potential. Your wording in this section is better, but still rather condescending, which isn't the right tone to take if you want to get people to listen to you, and accept your words. Consider changing your entire piece to have a more motivational, inspiring tone. You try to appeal to the reader's emotion and beliefs, and it is better to do that with a different approach, in my opinion.

 

Baby Steps

The flesh can be weird. At first, your experiences will likely be short lived as the host panics. Adrenaline and other hormones affect things a bit, as you are sharing one fleshy, human body. Don't worry, you all will move past that as you both learn your roles better during switching.

I am quite terrified for the moment I'm alone in the body and I have to talk to people myself. Panic at moments where he starts to let go isn't something we've experienced so far. Has that been an issue for you in the past?

 

Keep at it a while and it will become second nature to be able to tell your host you want to take a few hours in the evening to talk to your friends, or want to schedule a part time job three nights a week for yourself, or whatever it is you decide you want to do with your portion of life. Why do I say your portion of life?

Step four is accepting you are you and exist along side your host and do not rely on them.

I like this bit. This is the tone you should adopt in your guide more. This makes me feel empowered and motivated as a reader, which is exactly the state you want your readership to be in to convey the message you're trying to send out. Give people these new beliefs in a positive, constructive and motivating way. That is what your guide needs, in my opinion.

 

The Actual Process

What? What are you expecting here? You already know it by now if you've been reading along. There isn't magic to it. You just need to go and do it and stop telling yourselves it needs to be worked up to.

This part is superfluous and doesn't add anything to the message of your guide. I suggest removing it entirely.

 

Some Final Words

Whoever the tulpa is just needs to realize, once they exist, they no longer rely on the host for sustenance or permission for anything. The host created them, and in doing so, instilled in them every right to exist as they, themself has. In this realization, they are no longer a construct, but a being on equal footing to the host.

You both have as much right to life as the other. Once you both truly, deeply understand this, you will both be able to share life and the fleshy body you both inhabit. Do not let others tell you what your limitations are or what you can or cannot do. That is entirely up to you. Once you do learn to share and share alike, then do make sure you make time for each other to both enjoy what parts of life you enjoy most. You have a shared life experience, and both of you will need to learn to work out a schedule for who gets to do what in daily life now.

Wonderful general life advice for people with tulpas and the tulpas themselves. Just these paragraphs would be good for Tips, I think.

 

Additional Note

You may notice, once the process starts, the host can snatch back the body easily and quickly even when they do not want to. As reckless as we have been and offering control around and ignoring rules has still shown one single rule to be true. However it is not limited to just switching, but all of life. Whoever spends the most time in the body will be the most practiced with it, and generally win battles over who gets it. Can be a nuisance when you first get started, but as you both share time more and more, you will find yourselfs both practiced and on more equal footing.

Is this not a limiting belief like the ones you're trying to dispel in the rest of this guide? What makes this different, and why can you say that this rule is true? What have you done to try and change this phenomenon?

 

All in all, I think that this guide has potential as a motivational piece, but is still rather all over the place in tone and message. I'd suggest rewriting it with a clear goal in mind, with a plan written beforehand of the topics you will tackle and the tone you will convey. A motivational guide that tries to make people believe switching is easier than they think is not a bad idea, and I think that your guide, when rewritten with that goal clearly in mind, could be good for the community. If you consider rewriting it or editing pieces, feel free to contact me and I'll help you out.

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Honestly, I think that the post above me is unnecessarily long. I understand that, being nominated for the GAT, you'd probably want to show what you're capable of, but I think that you're assuming that quantity > quality. Not to say that your post lacks in quality, but among all the words you wrote, it seems you missed to address the main issue that the writer of this guide had. However, I only skimmed your paragraphs until I got the main idea of what each what trying to say, so I might be wrong in this.

 

Seven, I think that the big problem with your guide is that you are dancing around the topic. You already know what switching is, and your entire guide focuses on having people let go of their misconceptions around switching and tulpas, and I see very little about switching itself. I don't see an issue with the tone you approached - it is direct, clear, and you know how to explain your thoughts quite well. Where you make mistakes is where you make assumptions about the reader that have a fairly large likelihood of being untrue, or at least significantly large enough for the guide to not address as many people as you'd hope it would.

 

In your "State of the tulpa" paragraph, you immediately begin by telling the reader they are wrong, that their limitations are perceived and that they have incorrect preconceived notions about the subject matter. While those are things that should be addressed, I think you're approaching this from the wrong angle. Rather than trying to correct what they're doing wrong, you should focus on how to do it right. You see - the assumptions you can make about your reader are that they do not know how to switch, that they want to switch, and that they're willing to consider your advice. If so, the best way to get them to "do it right" is by setting the example. So, here are a few questions you should take into consideration;

 

- What would a complete amateur absolutely have to know to be able to switch?

- What are issues that you think a lot of people would have trouble with overcoming?

- Which mindset is required to be able to practice switching properly?

- Which questions may the user be left with after reading this guide?

 

If you answer these questions, and then work them out in a tutorial format - I can guarantee you that you will have at least a decent guide. You're perfectly capable of structuring something and making paragraphs stay true to their respective sections. I think you should just focus more on the central subject from a complete amateur's point of view instead of trying to debunk misconceptions.

 

Also, telling people that switching is easier than they think is, in my opinion, not quite constructive. People who have trouble with switching regardless of knowing what you know will therefore feel like failures, and you will have effectively achieved the opposite of what you wanted to achieve - with your own words. I think a better approach would be to look at what most people who attempt/ed switching have/had the most trouble with, and address the more globally difficult subjects as difficult, so that your reader can be properly prepared for what's to come. You want them to succeed, after all.

 

Lastly, I don't think that contacting a single person would be a good idea if you're trying to make a guide for everyone. Write up a draft, join an active tulpa channel and ask if anyone has knowledge on writing, and then post your material and ask for input from whoever is willing to give it. Don't reject anyone's input, nor accept everyone's input - take them all into consideration, and use them to optimize your guide to it's fullest.

 

Good luck with optimizing this guide, the motivation and intentions behind it are quite obviously good-natured.

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Blank vote for now, leaning toward disapproval until author fixes a few issues, but I'm liking some parts about the guide enough that it could fit into its own guide or even in Tips section, so I hope the author considers my comments. If those issues are fixed, you can count on my implicit approval, in the event I won't be able to reply in the next few days.

 

We can't 'possess', because all we have is switching.

 

Some of the things you've mentioned do sound close to possession, but that's all a matter of definitions used.

 

If you're to this point, first thing holding people back is preconceived notions and perceived limitations. We have had similar results with both of our tulpas, and know that most of what people say they can or cannot do falls in line with what they are told they can or cannot do. If you ignore all that, they can do a whole lot more than you think they can.

 

People talk about the required forcing, weakening if you don't strengthening if you do, fading, and other rubbish with tulpas. Why rubbish? It is. Once they exist, their existence is as much, if not more, on them than the host.

I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment here. Most people in this community severly limit their tulpas with their belief systems. In practice, a lot more things are possible than they think, but most things are made insurmountably hard by all kinds of negative expectations. This is less of a problem with tulpas, and more a community-wide problem where beliefs come pre-baked and given to newbies before they had a chance to truly find out for themselves what's possible or not. I find it a fairly sad situation, but in a way, it's also what keeps some weirder things from happening, even if they're possible, so the wide majority of people merely experience tulpas as perfectly safe and harmless in all possible situations, and tulpas that develop in this and that way, which match community expectations of how they're supposed to develop and grow. This isn't to say tulpas are likely to be unsafe: they usually would be safe even without those limiting beliefs, because most healthy tulpa and host relationships are symbiotic/cooperative, after all, sharing a body and head, and empathizing with the other person will result in that.

 

 

Our Kara, when she became who she is, we wanted her to fade. She got stubborn, and only calmed down once we accepted her.

While this is a good example of a resilient tulpa that wants to survive, I do think obsessing about wanting to get rid of a tulpa won't really do anything. Possible real ways to "get rid" of a tulpa would be any of the following: a. complete ignoring and short-circuiting of all thoughts and memories related to the tulpa - note this may not be effective for a sufficiently developed tulpa, and would be dangerous for one that can switch (no communication + switching = losing time in the worst case, de-facto what makes DID troublesome for some) b. treating tulpa as part of yourself, think you're parroting all the time, or simply, take agency over all their actions c. merging, similar as b, but making the tulpa more of a part of your identity, retaining continuity with all their actions and memories, that is, you being both as one person. Obsessing about getting rid of a tulpa/alter/headmate/etc, will never work as it just gives them more attention and gives them more opportunities to develop, if anything, it may give them the right emotions to accelerate their growth, even though, I can't imagine it would all that positive to start with - who would want to live in the head of a person that doesn't want you alive?

 

Many say you need to maintenance force, and I firmly believe that's only true if they believe it to be true. Neither of our tulpas believe it, we don't force them, and they are as much of us as the rest with no signs of going away.

Your own mental state is unique, you have (mostly) good communication, imagination, imposition and switching skills (from what I recall seeing in your mentorship post on r/tulpas), that makes having a tulpa easy for you. Put it differently, your brain is used to having tulpas/alters/etc. Forcing isn't just for the tulpa, it's a lot for the host, for them to have good imagination, for them to be able to develop a relationship with their tulpa, for them to see their tulpa grow, etc.

Especially, for the host to be able to realize the tulpa as being their own person, if they're so inclined to go down that wonderful path. Realizations which are only possible the more the tulpa shows the host their abilities to do things and grow, and the more the host realizes they can just let the tulpa do things and starts letting go of control over parts of their imagination, when they stop taking agency over every damn little thing in their imagination, and let another coherent personality/will do it (such as the tulpa). Another way of putting it, would be to say that once your whole psyche/brain/unconscious is capable of tulpas, there's not that much required to maintain (or even create) them.

 

So first step is breaking free of the notions and limitations and them realizing they have control over their own destiny and have every right as you to exist.

Yes, this is essential, not just for switching, but for having a tulpa in general, at least a tulpa that feels like a real person, capable of their own will/actions, emotions, thoughts, ideas, opinions, etc. This realization may be gradual, or it may be sudden, or it could even be forced, but in the latter case, one should be careful how they do it.

 

Of all things you said, you should realize that a lot of tulpas in this community are limited, but some are worse - some people may say they have a tulpa, but not truly believe the tulpa to be a person, and even if they may call it a person consciously, it's just a belief-in-belief, they don't really believe at a deeper, implicit, unconscious level that their tulpa is as real a person as they are, or that they're not as capable of their actions, or less independent, and so on. And who would you switch with, if you don't believe deep down that you have a person capable of just handling the body things so that you could go off have imaginary adventures in your wonderland or even sleep? A lot of the problems you may encounter are related to hosts not yet fully trusting their tulpas as being full persons - how they get there is up to them, sometimes you can just do it, but don't underestimate the stubbornness, lack of suggestibility, etc of some people - many times they need to be convinced by their tulpas (through subjective evidence).

 

One could go into far longer discussions about the development of independence/autonomy of a tulpa, all the limiting beliefs and expectation people in this community hold, and how echo-chambery some parts of the community are at times, and how this is detrimental to the development of truly free and independent tulpas. On the bright side, this situation may be having a slightly positive effect on the average/mean mental health of the entire community: consider for example, all those soulbonders from early 2000s and how many of them became *plural*, while having expectations that plurality worked in similar ways as sometimes the less than orderly kind worked - you'd find experiences go all over the place, when at its core, "soul bonding" creation/"summoning" methods worked similar enough to tulpa creation methods, just usually with a little bit less originality. From what I've seen in the past 2.5 years, enough people have already reached most possible extremes of development for a tulpa, for example, there are a few people who would seem close enough to that of a plural system that has a lot of "hosts", with switching and even a few who lost time (which is obviously not desirable by most people). Of course, the wide majority of people never reach such extremes, which may be a bit more positive for their overall mental health, if somewhat limiting for what a tulpa truly is as far as their psychological workings are concerned (that is, most tulpa's development and abilities are severely limited by community/socially enforced expectations).

 

 

You want to switch? You're the host? You have the easy job. Let go. That's all. You know what's going to stop you? I can tell you. Trust. Ever see that trust exercise where you cross your arms, and fall back into your partner's hands? Trade hands with mind. You simply let go and let yourself relax and fall back into your own mind.

Not everyone can easily "let go". You should possibly be more specific here as to what you mean, even if I sort of know what you mean, I don't know if enough other readers will understand.

Trust is an important factor as well, and people will have to learn to work out their trust issues before they can switch.

 

A lot of your ideas resembles these switching tips/methods present on a for-multiples wiki: http://www.kinhost.org/wiki/Main/Switching

 

Consider for example these tips from there, and compare with your own:

"Forced" is a poor term -- it only means that the time, place and whom is switching is actively chosen rather than organically "just happens". One should never attempt to force a switch by brute mental force, willpower, coercion, threats, etc. Switching is usually a matter of the Front simply relaxing into the body and "stepping aside". Switching is more of the simplicity of allowing something to happen than making something happen. The idea is for the Front to surrender to the switch, rather than to try to switch per se. The person who is attempting to Front steps into place rather than jockeying for the position.

 

 

 

Your first switching experiences will likely be with you still partly there, so don't expect to drop completely out before they take control, you just need to relax enough they can. It is a lot easier than it sounds. Once you repeat it a few times, and as they get better and better control, you'll learn how it feels and be able to fall farther and farther out.

 

While I do agree that it's a gradual thing, your definition here doesn't match this community's definition precisely.

 

As Sands showed you earlier with his picture at http://i.imgur.com/s3LEyf3.png possession and switching are a continuum, or a sliding scale.

 

Your definition of switching seems to be more relaxed than the definition commonly used in this community, that is, you include anything with the host not in full control as switching, up to full-on, fully-dissociated from senses/ignoring senses as switching, while we usually consider switching as "tulpa being alone in the body" and maybe "host being in some imaginary world, sensing it vividly, while not sensing the body", and more rarely, "host being asleep or unconscious" (host and tulpa are equivalent functionally here, the use of 'host' here is merely to give an example).

 

The multiple definition of switching is sometimes more relaxed as well, but more commonly it does actually imply the full sensory dissociation definition we're talking about, but also including the unconscious host (or "losing time"), for those less fortunate.

 

It's also worth considering that 'possession' best fits the multiple 'co-fronting/co-presence' terms, but not always precisely so.

Some multiple sites have 'possession' in their glossary to usually mean the metaphysical (read: occult) interpretation of a spirit taking a body, along with various other connotations.

 

In multiple vocabulary, switching is a change in "fronts", with a person going into the "back" and another coming to the "front" (of course, many variations are possible). The definition of the "back" many times does include sensory dissociation though, while "front" means being strongly in the body, acting and sensing through it.

 

It's also worth considering that redefining switching to include co-fronting/possession is detrimental in that it loses an important goal people strive for - for the tulpa to be alone in the body and the host to be somewhere in his mind, not sensing the senses. Saying it's possession is a bit like saying imposition is visualization, which while not inaccurate as imposition is usually reached through visualizing in the right way, it misses the point that imposition is a hallucination, despite being a very high-level form of "visualization" (one which is direct and immediate and ~real~ and felt as if physically perceived or hallucinated).

 

To expand on this just a little bit, and make it absolutely clear.. some think it requires total dissociation from the body to achieve switching. Whoever told you that probably doesn't know how to switch, or you're reading a guide by someone who doesn't do it.

I know of quite a few people who did do switching by first fully dissociating from senses *then* the tulpa ending up in control. I'm not sure it counts as the most common method, but it's common and important enough that one shouldn't forget about it.

 

 

You can switch perfectly fine into a backseat role by simply relaxing. You aren't dissociated, you are still there, but so are they. No need to get entirely out, just relax and let them control. Entirely out will come with time.

 

You shouldn't forget how many people in this community just can't "get out" at all, they barely feel sensory dissociation or move past possession, and sometimes possession doesn't quite feel alien to them, and so on. Some could go on for months. A common, but far from unique, example of this would be koomer, who many people thought he was switching, but in reality it was a permanent sort of possession with him simply watching the tulpa do things without feeling any less in the body. If I recall right, the host would forget about their identity and sort of assume the tulpa's identity and just watch their actions, possibly even slightly identifying with them. That sort of thing rarely leads to switching and one should generally learn to overcome that sort of thing and get a real switch. If people just think that that will lead them to switching while they haven't perceived any changes in their perception, they may end up just wasting a lot of time possessing while expecting to be switched and not noticing anything different - this is why there has to be just a little shred of sensory dissociation for it to start turning into switching (however, I will give you one point - most people that properly treat their tulpas as a person, wouldn't identity with them too strongly and thus learn to dissociate from senses naturally, which will make that possession slide into switching gradually).

 

So step two is simply learning to relax.

Yes, very yes. I wish you would stress this point more. That wiki switching guide actually does this more than you do. There's so many useful relaxation tips, especially in the context of possession and switching - I'd like to see more in a guide.

 

 

 

This one is for the tulpa. You have the hard job. Odds are, your host has drilled into you that they must force you to exist or you'll stop. That you must go through months or years of rigorous training to be able to switch. That you must be given permission, forced enough, or yada yada yada. Screw all that, it's a lie.

Agreed, a host and a tulpa shouldn't place such excessive limitations on their existence, however at the same time, I'm not sure all the limitations you describe are truly there in everyone's mind!

Most people who do this process right end up realizing the tulpa's personhood and everything that implies, which at the same time should get them to understanding the tulpa's autonomy/independence and their ability to sustain themselves - it's just thinking after all (obviously, a host would have to do the same when they switch and are no longer bombarded by their physical senses, otherwise, they could become unconscious in the worst case scenario).

However, one thing you may miss is that some things come easier to some people, and some things come harder, for someone you could conceive it would take years to make a tulpa or to switch, because maybe they're slow at learning the right things they require, but enough times they do figure it out, even if it takes a long time!

 

 

does the host want to switch out.

That's not as simple as you may think. Sometimes someone may consciously say they want to switch, but unconsciously fear it, or lack a true "want" for it. Sometimes they may be more drawn to the senses or what the tulpa does, despite consciously wanting to switching. Sometimes, they have trouble separating their own focus from the tulpa's (lack of sensory dissociation), and so on. There are a lot of possible issues here where a host may say they want to switch, without truly, deeply wanting it, or maybe they have other wants that would keep them watching their physical senses or their tulpa more, alternatively, they may have fears or trust issues which would prevent them from truly giving the tulpa the reins, even if they, the host, want to do it a lot!

 

Flip side, if you decide you want to, and they don't, things can get a bit blendy.

That would be sort of possession or co-fronting, although blendy-ness (or gasp, merging (a most misunderstood word in this community)) usually does not involve sufficient alien feelings or sensory dissociation. And as I've said before, a host may say they want to do it, while unconsciously not wanting to do it, or feeling unable to do it. You should really seek out people who are having trouble switching and examine their mindsets so that you can be convinced they at least consciously want to do it, while unconsciously having all kinds of conflicting desires!

 

There is no need for lead up to the act of taking control. You just need to take control. If you want to switch and host wants to switch then they just need to relax and you need to step up to the plate and do something.

That's essentially saying that if you (tulpa and host) want to switch, you should just do it, which is pretty true, but same is true for most tulpa things. Yes, it's all intent and many things can be simply done. A lot of people don't realize they can just do it, and they need to be reminded of it. However, not everyone can just do it, and some may need helpful hints for getting there - having more of that in your guide would be nice! But I do agree with your main point in that, when it boils down to it, the host and tulpa tulpa can just do anything they want in their mind as long as there is desire and intent, and some things, possibly switching included, are too simple to be elaborated in words, they may be the sort of things that just happen, like how we don't think of how we should move our muscles when controlling the body, we just do it!

 

As for the lead up: as I've mentioned before, some people do it in reverse, they ignore senses and tulpa ends up in control, for them, the skill can be developed enough in that they just do it as easily as you would do it using your own method. I don't think their method is flawed at all, and they don't have to change anything - they do what works for them, and that's fine!

 

If you want to switch and host wants to switch then they just need to relax and you need to step up to the plate and do something.

This reminds me of a certain someone that wanted to switch, but couldn't trust a tulpa in the body, or even let them have their own desires and motivations. Seeing as how my view is close enough to yours in the way that, things sort of happen because 'someone' (host or tulpa or both) wants them, a tulpa without sufficient wants may be one whom switching with would very be difficult as they're not taking control of the body as they have no reason or motivation to do so. I suppose this point has a lot to do with the tulpa being their own person with their own motivations and drives and that if someone doesn't let their tulpa be that, how can they switch? (or worse, who would they switch with?)

 

You both getting ready to try? They not relaxing? Tell them to. Boss your host around. You need to realize, if you can't make a demand of your host and tell your host what to do to help the process in any way that benefits you taking control, then you're not taking control, and will find taking control of the body nearly impossible. See a pattern there? Take control!

Ahaha. I hope you realize that a tulpa will have better ways of getting the host to relax than bossing them around. That's not always that relaxing! To give an example, they could hypnotize the host or guide their imagery in a way that calms and relaxes them and just gets them out from sensing those real senses. A tulpa can do a lot, including mess with the host's attention(if the host lets them, usually), so there are a lot of options for a tulpa to help a host relax which doesn't always involve "bossing them around", if that would be sufficiently relaxing to begin with (although, I suppose suggestions given from a position of authority do work on some people - this is a well-known technique used in many hypnosis inductions).

 

So step three is realizing all it takes is taking control and not waiting to do so.

Yes, sometimes all it takes for a tulpa to possess is for them wanting to move the body. It's as simple as that.

 

At first, your experiences will likely be short lived as the host panics.

Who is building up negative expectations in the reader this time? I know enough examples of non-short lived first switches.

I'm guessing you're extrapolating from personal experience, but you should realize this is a limitation that may be specific to you and that it shouldn't be given to your guide's readers, especially when it's known to be false for other people.

 

Keep at it a while and it will become second nature to be able to tell your host you want to take a few hours in the evening to talk to your friends, or want to schedule a part time job three nights a week for yourself, or whatever it is you decide you want to do with your portion of life. Why do I say your portion of life?

 

Step four is accepting you are you and exist along side your host and do not rely on them.

Pretty agreeable, although I suppose soon enough the host will realize how much responsibility having a tulpa is and that it involves a lot of compromises from them, especially if the tulpas start having a life outside their imagination. At the same time, I think this is something most tulpas realize on their own once they get there without it needing to be drilled into their heads - it's just a natural conclusion.

 

The Actual Process

What? What are you expecting here? You already know it by now if you've been reading along. There isn't magic to it. You just need to go and do it and stop telling yourselves it needs to be worked up to.

You may also enjoy waffles' guide from 2014-08-25: http://a.pomf.se/hdwzmk.png

Or Sands' guide from 2014-07-04: http://pastebin.com/MN7vVTpH

Ironic as it may be, many tulpa things just have to be done and there's no point in overcomplicating them. Many people may even disbelieve that some things can simply be done and rather that they need elaborate steps to do it. Your guide is a lot about this, and may also be useful tip in itself - which could belong in Tips and Tricks - to get people to just try doing it first rather than start with all kinds of overcomplicated methods which they may not need.

 

However, as was said by others before me, simply telling someone to do it isn't much of a guide, even if many times there's not much to it than that.

 

On a sidenote, I've seen some people who I won't name here, say that your first switching guide from 5 months ago, http://www.reddit.com/r/Tulpas/comments/20nbgk/switching/cg54i1q

was more of an actual guide than the current one, because it guides the reader into doing it rather than simply telling them to do it - in particular, the point about dissociating first or getting into a sufficiently 'deep' state.

 

Whoever the tulpa is just needs to realize, once they exist, they no longer rely on the host for sustenance or permission for anything. The host created them, and in doing so, instilled in them every right to exist as they, themself has. In this realization, they are no longer a construct, but a being on equal footing to the host.

Many people are stubborn to realize this, because they fear they themselves could be such "constructs" or vice versa, that a mere "construct" can be as full a person as their host's own selves are. Making a tulpa makes us confront our own selves, mind and psychology a lot, to the point were we may reach unusual and strange conclusions, but that's rarely a problem when the results are truly full of wonder (you could try to explain what it's like to have a tulpa to someone all you want, but for them to truly know how amazing it can be, they have to have their own (mental) person to share their life with).

 

You may notice, once the process starts, the host can snatch back the body easily and quickly even when they do not want to. As reckless as we have been and offering control around and ignoring rules has still shown one single rule to be true. However it is not limited to just switching, but all of life. Whoever spends the most time in the body will be the most practiced with it, and generally win battles over who gets it. Can be a nuisance when you first get started, but as you both share time more and more, you will find yourselfs both practiced and on more equal footing.

Generally this is more "frontloading", or giving the readers expectations and beliefs you have, which while they may be backed up by your own personal experience, they are not generally true. I've seen a lot of counterexamples for the "snatch back" claim, at least, something like a tulpa being in the body themselves for a half a day to a day to more isn't that unusual for some people, even relatively "new" switchers. At the same time, some tulpas who have a better grasp of the body, despite being young also exist. Your suggestions may true for a lot of people, but they're not laws.

 

They may be good suggestions, but if we're to fall into the "good suggestions" trap, you may want to refer to your own "disregard other people's advice" and my comment on that. I'd say the expectations you provide may lead to a more healthy experience (as with many other such artificial expectations), but they are not fundamental limitations a tulpa or host face. And to talk about your concrete case - there are people who disconnect in the right way such that they don't feel any need to snap back, unless of course, the situation requires them (thus they want to snap back, or are even unconsciously compelled to snap back, because associations!).

 

 

Overall, I think your guide has the right mindset, but requires a couple of changes with regards to the definitions, either the wording needs to be changed to fit more closely to community definitions, or a glossary needs to be added which states the terms being used and that they different from typical definitions used around these parts. Also, I'd hope you'd mention that some things are personal biases rather than rules, such as the whole "snap back" thing.

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This guide seems controversial so let's post. I completely agree. My experience with the tulpa phenomenon comes from other communities that are no longer active. In them, there was no such thing as forcing or disassociating. You didn't go through a tar long phase of developing your tulpa, though they often did develop with time. My tulpa as such was essentially vocal and sentient from the start. Perhaps I was puppeting and didn't realise it, though if so that didn't last long.

 

Anyways, as someone whose experience seems to lend itself to this guide, I throw in my support. The methods here seem to work best for me, though for those with a more traditional tulpa background may have more luck with other strategies

"Stress makes you bald, but it’s stressful to avoid stress, so you end up stressed out anyway, so in the end there’s nothing you can do." - Gintoki

 

~~~~~~

Tulpa: Hanako

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I suppose this guide has some good advice sprinkled in there in a few places, but nothing that significantly redeems it as a guide. As well, what I did see of useful, good advice has already been used by other guides, making this one pretty unnecessary. I don't think it really presents any new ideas elsewhere, either.

 

Disapprove

[align=center]Even though my username is that of my tulpa, Quilten, my name is Phaneron, the host, who does all of the actual posting.

Tulpas: Quilten, Jira

[/align]

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Wondering if the OP actually cares about GAT approval, since we haven't heard from them in two weeks.

 

I'll be brief, since there's already thousands of words here.

 

  • People have said that this definition of "switch" is wrong. I don't agree. It's not our definition, but it is considered correct in the multiplicity community. I wouldn't tell a British or Indian man that he was wrong for using the word "torch" where I would use "flashlight". That being said, it is important that our community understands what is being said, and that they can find this information if they need it. As it stands, people looking for guides on switching will find this when they want something else, and people looking for this won't be able to find it because it doesn't say "possession".
    Simple fix: Put possession in the title, and include a brief explanation that the multiplicity community uses the word "switch" where we use the word "possess". That would make the guide easy to find and easy to understand. I would not ask for every instance of the word to be replaced, but that's just me. I'm sure other GAT members will.
  • The other major issue people are bringing up is "just do it". As others have pointed out, that message definitely is in here, but there are instructions as well -- stuff like "Relax", "Let go". Elaborate on that. How does someone learn to let go? What relaxation techniques can we use? It doesn't have to be a lot, but it should be there.
  • I don't believe anyone else has mentioned this, but you emphasize the importance of trust, and then in the next post, talk about how your tulpa nearly rolled the car for some coloring books. That example does not make me feel trusting. It is not ok if anyone, tulpa or human, grabs the wheel from me while I'm driving, unless lives are not at stake. Perhaps you can come up with a better example of possession without disassociation. Or maybe you can leave it out altogether -- I think you put that in there because you're confusing other guides on what we call switching for guides on what you call switching. I believe in possession without disassociation. Is there anyone who doesn't?

 

I believe those are the major issues, and I would approve once those are fixed. Though I think a more positive tone would help too -- the "man up and do it" sort of tone suggests weakness in the reader, like they lack the knowledge or motivation or determination to do it, and some people will react by doing the exact opposite of what you suggest, to show that they do not have the weakness that you're implying that they do.

 

As others have said, there's a lot of good advice here about having the right mindset, and your guide is well written and well structured. It doesn't need much more.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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Everyone else has pretty much covered anything that I could say, but for the sake of personal advisement, I would suggest transforming this into a guide about possession. It seems more focused on that aspect anyways, so revision into a possession guide wouldn't be something that you would need to start building from the ground up. Perhaps working on the tone a bit might help to lessen the perceived aggressiveness of the guide. Intentional or not, there are definitely better ways to deliver information without lessening the worth of the reader. If the guide is ever retooled for possession, then I'd say it has a good shot at being approved, and it would almost certainly be approved by myself, however at the moment I'll have to Disapprove due to it's current state.

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To expand on this just a little bit, and make it absolutely clear.. some think it requires total dissociation from the body to achieve switching. Whoever told you that probably doesn't know how to switch, or you're reading a guide by someone who doesn't do it. You can switch perfectly fine into a backseat role by simply relaxing. You aren't dissociated, you are still there, but so are they. No need to get entirely out, just relax and let them control. Entirely out will come with time.

There are multiple ways to do the same thing, don't call other people's guides bad just because they are different from your method.

So step two is simply learning to relax.

You didn't really tell us how to relax, aside from saying "trust your tulpa". If relaxing is a required step in your guide, you might want to tell us how to do it.

 

This guide basically says "just do it" without actually telling people what to do. It gives a few useful tips, but doesn't describe the entire process completely. When you write a guide, you should make sure that someone with less knowledge than you can understand it. Also, your terminology seems a bit off. You wrote "switching" while this guide seems more orientated towards possession. You also used some terminology a lot of people might not know about such as "system", "headmates", and "alters".

 

Disapprove

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I'm not going to write a detailed critique here, since pretty much anything I have to say has already been covered by other GAT members, so I'll just write a brief summary on what is and isn't good.

 

First of all, I like how you encourage the readers to let go of preconceived notions and establish that the host and tulpa should see themselves on equal footing. That part's good. HOWEVER, this is a switching guide, which means it should have a good explanation of how to switch. It doesn't. You don't really explain HOW to switch, just that the host and tulpa need to just do it. If a host and tulpa can "just switch", then they don't need a guide. It's the ones who can't intuitively figure it out who turn to guides for help, since guides are supposed to explain HOW to do it. Furthermore, you said dissociation isn't required for switching, which is completely wrong. Whether or not the host dissociates from the body is the only difference between possession and switching; without dissociation, it's just possession, not switching.

 

I disapprove.

I come out of hibernation once in a blue moon.

 

They/them pronouns, please. (I've been using this display name since 2012 and people won't recognize me if I change it.)

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