[vocality] Tips for Hearing Your Tulpa

[fennecgirl]

(copied from my reddit post)

 

I have some tips for those who have trouble hearing their tulpa (besides “force more”):

 

• Get into a good state of mind for it. You can meditate if you want, or you can just sit or lie somewhere comfortable, close your eyes, and make sure you’re in a quiet place (if this isn’t an option, then put on headphones and listen to colored noise or instrumental music; both of these things will help block out the noise and shouldn’t be too distracting to most people). I’ve had some of my best, most vivid forcing sessions in this state because it makes it easier to focus and makes me more perceptive to my imagination. Ideally, you should do this when you aren’t tired to avoid the risk of falling asleep. This post may also be helpful.
  
• Thought ping-pong.
  
• Just listen and let them talk. Prompt them with a topic to talk about, and just let them talk. You might be surprised how much they have to say when given the opportunity.
  
• Proxy. I’ve been surprised more than once by how clearly I can hear a tulpa I can’t normally hear well when I proxy for them. If you’re proxying to encourage them to speak and to learn to hear them better, don’t say anything, just let them do all the talking. I don’t know why it is that sometimes I’ve been able to hear my tulpae more clearly while proxying, but it does work. If your tulpa is shy about speaking to others, then tie this suggestion in with the last one - ask them to talk about something and transcribe it.
  
• Make up a story together, taking turns saying one sentence at a time. If neither of you can think of a way to start it off, search online for story starters.
  
• Play word games. I’m not going to explain any here because this post is basically a wall of text, but I’ll explain how to play a few word games in a reply to this (here) in case anyone here doesn’t know any.
  
• Sing together! (credit to ThatFellowWithTheScarf for suggesting this)
  

 

I also have some advice for related problems people may have.

 

"Sometimes, I think I hear my tulpa talk, but then I think it’s just me!"

 

• First of all, are you worried that you’re parroting or that the tulpa’s words in question are just intrusive thoughts? If you think you might be parroting, read this. If you’re afraid what you’re hearing is just intrusive thoughts, then ask your tulpa if it was something they said or not. If they tell you that, yes, they said that, then trust them.
  
• Alternatively, read this.
  

 

"My tulpa isn’t vocal yet; everything they say is just me parroting!"

 

• Are you consciously parroting, or is it unintentional? If you think you’re parroting unintentionally, you aren’t, since parroting is something that is only done intentionally. You can't "unintentionally parrot"; any "unintentionally parroted" responses are either intrusive thoughts or legitimate responses that you mistake for parroting. See the previous piece of advice.
  

 

"I get too many intrusive thoughts, and it makes it hard to hear my tulpa!"/"It often sounds like my tulpa is saying multiple things at once, and I don’t know which responses are really theirs!"

 

• Just relax. Don’t stress out over it. If intrusive thoughts are interfering too much with communication that hearing your tulpa is difficult, then just take a moment to clear your mind and relax. I sometimes get so many intrusive thoughts that holding a conversation with my tulpae becomes nearly impossible, and, nearly every time that happens, taking a moment to clear my mind significantly reduces the amount of intrusive thoughts I’m getting, making conversation much easier or at least manageable.
  

 

"I never know what to talk about with my tulpa!"

 

• Talk about things that happened throughout the day.
  
• Ask your tulpa if they have any ideas of what to talk about. They might have something they’d like to talk about.
  
• Choose an activity to do together - playing a game, watching TV, doing crafts, surfing the internet, anything - and talk about what you’re doing as you’re doing it.
  
• Look online for conversation starters or interview questions and ask these to your tulpa (they can ask you some as well and comment on your answers).
  
• The story-writing game and word games I mentioned earlier are also helpful here.
  
• Proxying is also useful advice for this. If you’re having trouble finding things to say while talking to your tulpa, then let them talk with someone who does have more to say.
  
• Singing together is helpful here, as well, since you just need to follow along with the lyrics rather than thinking of things to talk about.
  

 

(As this is a collection of various tips rather than a proper guide, I'd like to submit this to Tips & Tricks.)

 

Changelog:

10/1/14 - Realized I accidentally linked to the list of word games again where I should've linked to Tips for those who are getting "parrotnoid" - whoops! Fixed it.

10/5/14 - Fixed broken url tag in the changelog. Added extra sentence to response to "parroting" problem for more clarification. Added link to Sands' post on absence of disbelief in response to first problem. Added link to SimplyNoise for example of colored noise. In first tip, changed "state" to "state of mind" for clarity and added link to this post. Added suggestion to sing together.

[sushi]

You know, I was thinking of some things to suggest as I was reading this, but by the time you got to the end, you'd covered every single thing I was going to suggest. I think this is great for Tips & Tricks as is. The only flaw I can see is the broken link in the changelog, and that doesn't affect the actual guide.

[Sands]

I do suggest you to really think if you really want to keep using the wrong plural. Some might say that we don't know what a proper plural for tulpa would be, but we definitely know it's not tulpae. Sure you could keep on pluralizing cat as cati, but it would just be wrong and make you look stupid. I even still got this Pastebin of the issues saved for these instances. It would do good for us to get rid of this outdated plural that makes us look like we can't even speak English.

 

Also should some of the Reddit posts maybe be hosted on some other site? How long does that site save the posts? If they have a habit of disappearing too fast, then obviously your links would eventually break and then anything that was written would be lost unless someone has a saved copy. Not too familiar with Reddit's way of keeping the posts around as I dislike that site's way of working a lot, so I hope someone with more knowledge would tell me if it's safe to assume that these posts are going to be there for years.

 

This is definitely Tips and Tricks material, yeah. You might want to fix the final url tag just so it looks good unless you meant to give us a broken link for some reason I don't understand. I think overall, there's really nothing to object to here but... I know a person who stalks your posts a lot more than me, so they have this worry of you spreading around this "just believe" kind of mindset, which can be pretty bad. I'm not sure if I get the feeling from this too strongly so hey, maybe it was this person just reading too much into it as usual, but what was your intention? I mainly see the concern in this little parroting tidbit here.

 

If you’re afraid what you’re hearing is just intrusive thoughts, then ask your tulpa if it was something they said or not. If they tell you that, yes, they said that, then trust them.

 

But if a person is worried of parroting, reading what someone else says about it won't always really fix any issues they have as they usually go a bit deeper than that. Someone with parroting issues wouldn't want to trust a tupper they think they are parroting - and you won't even know if they aren't, because I have heard cases of these unconsciously parroted tuppers that actually say yes, they were parroted. Whether you believe that or not is up to you of course, but if you already tell us to trust the tulpa's words and they say they were unconsciously parroted... Though I think it takes a pretty good puppetmaster to unconsciously parrot a tupper, so I guess in most cases, if you aren't doing it intentionally then you probably aren't parroting them.

 

Though back to the actual point. Telling someone to "just trust them" won't work. People don't "just trust", especially these kinds of people with issues. You need to tell them that it's okay to take their time, too. Trust takes time and effort, it shouldn't just be given. All we can ask for is that the tupper forgives us and lets us take our time too. This I feel is something you might want to reword or think more about. I'm not sure if you've read it, but I wrote a bit more about this here and I think it might explain what I mean a bit better. I suggest you read it and see if it helps you see what I'm getting at.

 

I won't vote yet though sushi, you haven't actually voted yourself yet either. You do need to say if you approve or disapprove, you know. Just because you react to this positively doesn't mean it's approved unless you say it is.

[Quilten]

Besides the broken link and the plural, like Sands mentioned, this is a really good collection of tips. It's written well, presented good ideas, and I see it being a help to a lot of people who might read it. Definitely for Tips & Tricks, just a soon as those little edits are made.

 

Approved for Tips.

[sushi]

Fine. Approved for tips and tricks.

 

And technically tulpa is the wrong word entirely. It literally means something like creation of magic, and refers to something that has objective reality. But nobody ever complains because we've been using it wrong so long. Likewise, tulpae is wrong, but it's been used so long that I don't mind, and the meaning is clear.

[schlondark]

-Force More is legitimate advice. Force More.

-Perhaps provide a link or explanation on colored noise.

-You talk about the "state" but don't necessarily say what it is

-Intrusive thoughts can be a major issue that you seem to gloss over (in the original paragraph),

simply asking the tulpa if it was them can produce their response in tandem

with a respones that says the opposite: i.e. "Was that you?" "Yes, No."

-Part of the assumption of parroting seems to be the fact that tulpic speech

(especially early on) has to do with what the host is consciously thinking about

at the time which seems to be normal but is often not anticipated.

-Watching TV and Surfing the internet might be good tulpa activites, but they are also severely distracting.

-Usually among those seeking help for hearing a tulpa better proxying them is not an option, and private dialogue

may produce better results for some. Due to the nature of narration, it is probably best for early conversations to take

place between just the tulpa and the host. The host also has more control this way over what the tulpa experiences, and can

shield them from early drama, and/or "Unpleasentness" that is indemic to the internet.

 

Approved for Tips and Tricks, though a few of them may need to be revised slightly to take account of a wider audience.

[ThatFellowWithTheScarf]

Well, if you need an explanation on the "state" I can give it to you. I find the alpha state is best for tulpa forcing. Alpha is the level of brain waves in which your body is still and numb, you just have your thoughts. Lay down in bed, or go into a lotus position and imagine all the tension leaving your whole body (including the face) and you should start to feel a comforting numbness and peace of mind (intrusive thoughts are still present but can be avoided) and you can now begin to active force on a high level, sort of like a private spot for you and your tulpa to just have a little talk, it gives you that strong bond, like siblings. This especially helps for those who think of tulpas as if they are just a thought form, like the kind who post things questioning their own intelligence and sentience when their tulpa is likely hearing. This state can make you see them as the second being sharing your body and spirit they really are.

---

Oh, and another tip. Try singing together, there should be no explanation needed.

[Sands]

And technically tulpa is the wrong word entirely. It literally means something like creation of magic, and refers to something that has objective reality. But nobody ever complains because we've been using it wrong so long. Likewise, tulpae is wrong, but it's been used so long that I don't mind, and the meaning is clear.

 

Well, you could say that it has been redefined rather, though even in this community you could use the original meaning as long as you make sure that's what you are talking about. Our redefinition could be called a "modern tulpa" as it's just stealing the name of something else and sort of related because we're too bad at coming up with our own terms that aren't cringe-worthy. Imaginary friends just doesn't have the same ring to it, either... I'm all for "mind demons taking over poor host-kuns", though. Is it too long?

 

But tulpae is just wrong in every way with no redeemable qualities. It just makes you look like you don't know how languages work.

[Edward]

I'll approve for Tips and Tricks, but I do suggest rewording the "just trust them" bit. Hosts who are going through doubts and stress over how legitimate their tulpas voice or existence is don't usually take well to the the "just trust them" advice. I've counseled more than a few doubt-ridden and quickly learned that was a bad way of handling it. If that's revised, then I have no real issue with this being approved to the Tips and Tricks section. I'm not personally a fan of the plural, but it won't affect my decision in this situation.

[fennecgirl]

Here are my responses to suggestions and criticism I disagree with. For anything that's been suggested that I don't respond to here, I've already edited my original post accordingly.

 

I do suggest you to really think if you really want to keep using the wrong plural. Some might say that we don't know what a proper plural for tulpa would be, but we definitely know it's not tulpae. Sure you could keep on pluralizing cat as cati, but it would just be wrong and make you look stupid. I even still got this Pastebin of the issues saved for these instances. It would do good for us to get rid of this outdated plural that makes us look like we can't even speak English.

But tulpae is just wrong in every way with no redeemable qualities. It just makes you look like you don't know how languages work.

 

First of all, what is "correct" or "wrong" in a language is determined by what's commonly used and understood, not what people say is "wrong" despite popular usage. Do you tell people they're "wrong" for splitting their infinitives, ending sentences with prepositions, or contracting "going to" and "want to" into "gonna" and "wanna"? (The latter of those is a bit of a special case, though - while completely grammatical and "correct" in English, "gonna" and "wanna" are wrong to use in formal situations because they are considered informal slang. They're wrong to use in formal situations because of a politeness structure, not because they're grammatically wrong.)

 

I do find it somewhat hypocritical how you have no problem with using the "wrong" word to describe a thoughtform (as "tulpa" means "to create" in Tibetan, yet we use it to mean "thoughtform") yet insist it's "wrong" to use the "wrong" plural. Let me guess, you also think it's acceptable to pronounce "karaoke" as [kæɹioki] (the way it's said in English) even though it's borrowed from Japanese, where the correct pronunciation is [kaɾaokɛ] ("kah-rah-o-keh")? Why, because we pronounce things differently in English? [kæɹioki] doesn't even make sense as an acceptable way to pronounce an English word spelled as "karaoke" - "a" is never pronounced as ("ee") in English, and an "e" following a consonant at the end of a word is almost always silent. So why, then, is [kæɹioki] correct? It's correct for the same reason that "tulpae" is correct - because that's what's in common use.

 

I could continue on a long rant here, but, for now, I'll just advise you to do some research on prescriptive vs. descriptive linguistics. My point is, though, what's "correct" or "incorrect" is determined by actual use, not what people say others should or shouldn't say, which means "tulpas", "tulpae", and "tulpa" are all perfectly acceptable to use as the plural of "tulpa".

 

Also should some of the Reddit posts maybe be hosted on some other site? How long does that site save the posts?

 

As far as I know, reddit posts don't get automatically deleted.

 

I know a person who stalks your posts a lot more than me, so they have this worry of you spreading around this "just believe" kind of mindset, which can be pretty bad. I'm not sure if I get the feeling from this too strongly so hey, maybe it was this person just reading too much into it as usual, but what was your intention? I mainly see the concern in this little parroting tidbit here.

 

I personally don't believe "accidental parroting" is a thing. No, that doesn't mean I believe "everything is your tulpa". Responses that are "accidentally parroted" are either intrusive thoughts or legitimate responses the host mistakes for parroting. That's what I was getting at by referring the reader back to the previous point of advice, which does acknowledge the possibility of intrusive thoughts, but I see how not specifically mentioning intrusive thoughts makes what I said a bit ambiguous and able to be misinterpreted as "you're not parroting; it's your tulpa". I've added clarification there now to clear that up.

 

But if a person is worried of parroting, reading what someone else says about it won't always really fix any issues they have as they usually go a bit deeper than that.

 

This is why I linked to the post on advice for "parrotnoia".

 

Though back to the actual point. Telling someone to "just trust them" won't work. People don't "just trust", especially these kinds of people with issues.

 

I get that. However, this is intended to be a guide on helping hosts to hear their tulpae and encouraging young to become more vocal, not a guide on alleviating doubt. I briefly addressed issues such as doubt and intrusive thoughts because those issues are tangentially related, but those issues are not the main focus of this guide.

 

-Force More is legitimate advice. Force More.

 

I didn't imply that it wasn't. It's just that that's the obvious piece of advice that everyone gives.

 

-Intrusive thoughts can be a major issue that you seem to gloss over (in the original paragraph)

 

As I said in response to Sands, that is not the main focus of this guide. I did address the issue of intrusive thoughts and gave some advice, but it really isn't what this guide is intended to be about.

 

simply asking the tulpa if it was them can produce their response in tandem

with a respones that says the opposite: i.e. "Was that you?" "Yes, No."

 

I already acknowledged this in the fourth common problem I listed.

 

-Watching TV and Surfing the internet might be good tulpa activites, but they are also severely distracting.

 

I know that; that's why I said the point is to talk to your tulpa while doing these things. If the host is too distracted, they aren't going to be talking to their tulpa, and they should recognize that they aren't following the advice in this guide if they aren't talking to their tulpa.

 

-Usually among those seeking help for hearing a tulpa better proxying them is not an option

 

It should be an option, as this guide is intended to help with hearing vocal tulpae better and/or getting them to speak more; most of the things I suggested cannot be done with a non-vocal tulpa. However, I did acknowledge that not everyone is comfortable with proxying, which is totally fine.

 

I'll approve for Tips and Tricks, but I do suggest rewording the "just trust them" bit. Hosts who are going through doubts and stress over how legitimate their tulpas voice or existence is don't usually take well to the the "just trust them" advice. I've counseled more than a few doubt-ridden and quickly learned that was a bad way of handling it.

 

Again, this is not the main focus of the guide.