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Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3


Cinemaphobe

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I hear you, grew up Roman Catholic but not overly strict, but the whole christian/catholic religion is full of bullshit. Like most religions there is good in it but its been so polluted and corrupted it's hard to see it anymore. Gotta admit though Pope's trying! I got to the point where I only go to church as a family ritual on christmas and easter and that might not last much longer either, the family is falling apart (family as in descendants of a grandparent that have stayed close.)

 

I'm ready to leave the state for a better situation as soon as my girl is. My brother would cross the country for a boyfriend if he could keep a stable relationship. My girl's family is barely holding and as individuals most aren't healthy. I barely talk to my mom because she been socially fucked by a longterm illness that's almost completely gone but it put her through so much pain it warped her personality. My dad is not likely to see 50 because he's eating himself into horrible health out of fear of old age. WOW it does help to talk, damn. Well yea I can see all that and I've never taken a Psychology lesson.


It really seems like we unstable outcasts are the ones who fit together best. we can be the most accepting, and understanding of each other where the normals can be so cutthroat.

and thats coming from an individual with a personal "TO KILL" list in case of the zombie apocalypse.

Break the rules. Force your own reality. Control of the mind is power. Push your mind to the limits!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I hear you, grew up Roman Catholic but not overly strict, but the whole christian/catholic religion is full of bullshit. Like most religions there is good in it but its been so polluted and corrupted it's hard to see it anymore. Gotta admit though Pope's trying! I got to the point where I only go to church as a family ritual on christmas and easter and that might not last much longer either, the family is falling apart (family as in descendants of a grandparent that have stayed close.)

 

Yes, the Christian and Catholic religions are indeed full of bullshit. I can easily agree with that one because I had a Christian upbringing as well, and I used to be a devout Christian. But then I realized that none of my prayers were being answered and that the church, which was starting to feel more like a cult, was making a shit-load of money off of me because of "tithing". Money is the root of all evil, and a real god wouldn't need to be paid in order to feel like you are loyal to them. A holy church wouldn't take money out of my damn wallet!

 

I'm ready to leave the state for a better situation as soon as my girl is. My brother would cross the country for a boyfriend if he could keep a stable relationship. My girl's family is barely holding and as individuals most aren't healthy. I barely talk to my mom because she been socially fucked by a longterm illness that's almost completely gone but it put her through so much pain it warped her personality. My dad is not likely to see 50 because he's eating himself into horrible health out of fear of old age. WOW it does help to talk, damn. Well yea I can see all that and I've never taken a Psychology lesson.

 

 

I'm sorry to hear about this man...I hope that you can change your situation for the better...I'm watching my parents eat themselves to death as well, so I can relate with you 100% on that one. It's extremely depressing watching people that you hate or even have feelings of indifference towards walk down a path of self-destruction. And you are lucky that you never took a Psychology lesson.

 

Never study it.

 

Psychology will open your eyes to see the patterns of human interaction, and not only will you feel like a non-sentient robot, but you will see everyone else as biological robots who act through impulse, and instinct, both of which are predictable. You will even be able to predict what phrases will be said before they are spoken, how a person really feels about you based on their body language, and how a person will react to hypothetical events, essentially ruining the fun of talking to humans. However, you can look past knowing how the mind works even if you study it for years, and Amber is proof of that. Me however...yeah I never fully recovered from what I learned. I only have one friend and I am completely okay with that because he is just like me so I can't predict him lol.

 

I don't understand how Amber stays sane though. lol

 

I guess that I just over-think everything, and that's why I can't overlook what I know. :P

 

 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

@Jackson: lol

"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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I made progress, Kage built a simple wonderland so sentience confirmed. details in my PR

Break the rules. Force your own reality. Control of the mind is power. Push your mind to the limits!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I don't understand how Amber stays sane though. lol

Most of what I do these days requires a strong grasp of Psychology. Yeah humans lose a little bit of mystery, but it's not really so bad as you say. You're still human, you might as well still live like one. Understanding why people feel like they do is a huge help to solving the problems that plague our lives.

 

But I mean, "sane" is an interesting term.. My beliefs are pretty far out of line with the average person's, but they're very logical and I'm much better for it. I think I'm actually more sane than what people normally consider sane.

 

 

But maybe that's what an insane person would say?

 

Nah too much logic.

 

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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I made progress, Kage built a simple wonderland so sentience confirmed. details in my PR

 

Niiiiice. It's good that you confirmed sentience, but I think that you should have viewed Kage as sentient from the start, because it makes narration easier (instead of feeling like you are talking to yourself), and it makes your tulpa happier if they actually are sentient from the start.

 

Most of what I do these days requires a strong grasp of Psychology. Yeah humans lose a little bit of mystery, but it's not really so bad as you say. You're still human, you might as well still live like one. Understanding why people feel like they do is a huge help to solving the problems that plague our lives.

 

But I mean, "sane" is an interesting term.. My beliefs are pretty far out of line with the average person's, but they're very logical and I'm much better for it. I think I'm actually more sane than what people normally consider sane.

 

 

But maybe that's what an insane person would say?

 

Nah too much logic.

 

 

Lol the last part made me laugh.

 

I understand where you are coming from with using Psychology to solve problems in our lives, but I find that Psychology simply adds more problems to mine because I am aware of more things. For example if you were blindfolded on top of a skyscraper, unaware of where you were, then you would have a much higher chance of freaking out when the blindfold is removed and you see how high you are from the ground. In that example, awareness is probably not as favorable, but there are plenty of circumstances in which awareness is favorable. The value of awareness varies from person to person. After all, ignorance is bliss...

"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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I find that Psychology simply adds more problems to mine because I am aware of more things. ... The value of awareness varies from person to person. After all, ignorance is bliss...

I started typing a reply to that and it sort of turned into something else..

 

This is a long philosophical and convoluted, off-tulpa-topic rant of sorts. It may also offend people with very sensitive beliefs. You've been warned. Of course, we're all open-minded here, right? By the end it's relevant to Cinemaphobe, at least.

--

 

Ignorance is better if you're not prepared to(or choose not to) deal with knowledge. That concept sort of cuts the world into pieces..

 

So I guess I'm one of those people that's accepted my life will be difficult because I've chosen to deviate. But as long as I keep doing things the best way I know how, I'll never have reason to doubt myself. If I don't know something then I'll figure it out, and if I can't then I'll accept that. I couldn't live a fulfilling life letting others think for me.

 

To each their own. There's a reason "smart" people like psychologists don't go around telling everyone how predictably they think and act, or point out the falsehoods they believe in. You'd only make their lives harder and more uncertain. Sort of like choosing to be an atheist; are you prepared to live without a God? Are you able to maintain your own socially agreeable morals and motivation to live without a higher power? I take it back, some "smart" people do try to tell people why what they believe is wrong, to reassure themselves that their own beliefs are right. No one is more right than anyone else because reality is all in our individual heads and we all die eventually(so far). Science is no more right than religion as an adult is no more right than a newborn baby, or a lion than the zebra it kills. One of the few things we can all agree on is our instincts for survival, which nature itself set in place. The concepts of right and wrong and your personal reality will develop as you live among others who have done so themselves. Survival is instinct - the rest is extra our highly developed minds have created for one reason or another.

 

Science uses this mindset in the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake. These days the term "science" is blurred by arguments and personal beliefs, but it's important to know it has nothing to do with belief. Science proves and disproves to the best of our ability to use it. There's no more reason to be a "scientist" than there is to not, humans are just inquisitive by nature. But not everyone is well-suited to give up the beliefs humans have been developing (consciously and unconsciously) for thousands of years. It really takes dedication and, well, an open mind.

--

 

That's my stance on "ignorance", and examples of the types of questions I answer when I say I do this for a living. And I mean I answer, these are all my own thoughts. Obviously not everyone is able to live like this and by no means should they feel inclined to. It's just important to me that people understand we're all on an even playing ground, that right and wrong are relative terms.

 

Pretending that was relevant at all - you seem to me like you're sort of stuck in the middle. You left behind old beliefs that didn't work for you and dived into science without replacing them with new solid, supporting ones. Since it's basically impossible to go backwards, I recommend you keep working at it. There is certainly more than you know life as right now. Reisen helped teach me that and urged me on to a better place, and that's where my advice for you and Yumi has come from so far. Love and support and a strong motivation to live will do wonders. And you can't just sit in between levels of consciousness forever..

 

alright that's enough preaching for a whole year, sorry guys

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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I'm glad that people like you are on this site. Everything you said is identical to my personal views towards ignorance. For you however, ignorance isn't bliss, so I have decided that ignorance is bliss only for the ignorant.

 

I only want to know what I can handle and make use of, so I prefer ignorance over knowledge when it comes to knowing more about the brain, or reality itself.

 

"Ignorance is better if you are not prepared to deal with knowledge."

 

 

I wasn't prepared to deal with the knowledge of most of the things that I learned, because I lived in a Christian fantasy world devoid of science for a large portion of my life.

 

 

"Pretending that was relevant at all - you seem to me like you're sort of stuck in the middle. You left behind old beliefs that didn't work for you and dived into science without replacing them with new solid, supporting ones. Since it's basically impossible to go backwards, I recommend you keep working at it. There is certainly more than you know life as right now. Reisen helped teach me that and urged me on to a better place, and that's where my advice for you and Yumi has come from so far. Love and support and a strong motivation to live will do wonders. And you can't just sit in between levels of consciousness forever.."

 

I think that every atheist, or person without philosophy finds themselves craving supporting beliefs at least once in their life to avoid being "stuck in the middle." I used to be Buddhist in highschool to have some type of foundation in my life, and I meditated all of the time, but while I was becoming more peaceful, my family was becoming more violent, which basically destroyed that foundation temporarily.

 

And I think I have a strong will to live...I just don't have a strong will to do my best to change my living situation for some reason. Sitting between levels of consciousness is something that I guess I have grown too accustomed to. Lol

"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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Yumi.jpg.2f16706f0b29140da60538f6cb7ba5fc.jpgDay 6

 

 

So my life is starting to change for the better, and I started talking to my best friend again. He informed me that his workplace is hiring people, so I might be able to have a job soon^^. But every time my life changes, it drastically affects the quality of my tulpaforcing sessions. If I can get the job, then my relationship will be saved because my girlfriend will know that I am doing something with my life instead of being lazy, and she will be happy to know that I'll be able to meet her before next summer. I'll also have much more social contact if I get the job, and I might make new friends...

 

All of these things could be bad for Yumi, because I can't tulpaforce as well when I have a lot of social contact for some reason. I couldn't even concentrate today when I was narrating to her...I was really tired and had a lot on my mind...

I'm expecting too much of her as well...

I let Yumi memorize what her own mindvoice sounded like, by saying "The life of the wife was ended by the knife." (yes I got that from Family Guy lol)

but I couldn't remain patient with her. I was starting to expect her to speak in full sentences with the voice that I gave her after only minutes of practicing it with her.

It took me 45 minutes to feel her presence, and 45 minutes to feel the head pressure that is always present when she is listening...

 

As the end of our session was drawing closer, started Ito become irritated by everything: The sound of my family echoing through the house, how messy my room was, how long my hair is getting. So I kept begging Yumi to speak desperately, and angrily shoved my hands over my ears to block off most of the sound that entered. I was getting so angry at myself because I was feeling skeptical towards the tulpa phenomenon, and I was starting to doubt the progress that I have already made.

 

I am completely aware that skepticism is by far one of the worst things to have while you are making a tulpa, but at the time I couldn't repress my negative thinking. I asked frantically in my mindvoice "Are you trying to talk to me Yumi!?!?! are you speaking!?" and completely cleared my mind, listening with every fiber of my being.

 

After a few moments of silence, I heard a desperate response from Yumi in her mindvoice. She said:

 

"I'm trying."

 

Immediately after she said that, my alarm rang loudly, as if Yumi knew exactly when the narration session would end. Once again, I was speechless, and my heart was racing. That small sentence was the clearest I have ever heard her speak to me in her mindvoice.

 

Usually I would be extremely excited because she spoke, but I made her feel either angry or desperate. I regret narrating while tired, and I'll never do it again for Yumi's sake...

I'm definitely going to drink a pot of coffee before I tulpaforce from now on, and I'm going to apologize to my Yumi-cakes-lovely-chan^^

I hope that she forgives me for foolishly begging her to speak...

 

*slow-motion face-palm*

 

A photo of Yumi is at the top of the report for just in case anyone doesn't want to surf through a jesus-load of my replies.

 

For anyone who is curious, I have spent 6.7 hours active forcing, but an immeasurable amount of time passive forcing. I use my hour count responsibly, knowing full well the harmful aspects of it. But I like to have it because it motivates me to contribute more hours to it. Even if I was at 1,000 hours and Yumi wasn't vocal, I would be confident that I have the effort it takes to continue on to 2,000 or 3,000. Don't try to understand my reasoning, JUST LOVE ME.

 

And finally, I have questions for any of my dear readers:

 

 

Have you ever regretted tulpaforcing while tired?

How did you react when you first heard your tulpa speak to you?

Do you use an hour count?

Does your personal life affect your tulpaforcing?

What is the color of the t-shirt you are wearing if you are wearing one?

Why did I ask that*

 

The last question is extra-credit by the way.

"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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Have you ever regretted tulpaforcing while tired?

How did you react when you first heard your tulpa speak to you?

Do you use an hour count?

Does your personal life affect your tulpaforcing?

What is the color of the t-shirt you are wearing if you are wearing one?

Why did I ask that*

1: Way back when, if by tired you accept unfocused and more likely to sleep than not, yes. I'd often try and do things before falling asleep after lying down and, even though I stayed awake, my thoughts drifted relentlessly and little was accomplished. The closest thing to regrettable relating to forcing was when I was less able to focus (years ago, and for only a short time) I was more likely to parrot, and subconsciously know Reisen wasn't really talking. Otherwise, forcing while tired? I don't get tired, I'm either awake or asleep. Unfocused though yes, waste of effort.

 

2: It was a gradual process going from not-quite-parroting to accepting that it was her speaking. Though I can say there have been many times in the past when one of my tulpas said something so clearly them that it sort of surprised me. Back before I knew about tulpas once, I was doubting if it was.. right, to have Reisen, like, fair to her or if she really needed me to keep her existing, and she said very clearly "I love you.", which obviously shook me out of that mindset. Generally speaking the most "real" my tulpas have sounded were on the rare occasions they had to flat out tell me what I was thinking was wrong.

 

3: lol no

I mean, I'm probably the most lax person here with respect to how well my tulpas' development goes. But I don't set aside specific times for forcing, I do it when I can and can focus. I suppose it would help motivate me to do it more often, but I can't be bothered to be so strict about it honestly.

 

4: Of course. So much of my time is taken up now by college work, I've literally given up gaming because of it. But before, gaming and other useless stuff took away time from my tulpas, so I'm not sure I've really lost anything. Oh, unless you meant family/friends/etc., in which case not in the slightest, I have literally no problems, especially since I'm usually left alone in my room. And my brother has some less developed natural tulpas too.

 

5: Blue, always blue. I wear blue t-shirts and blue or black/blue shorts year round. Sometimes I wear a hoodie because Utah gets a bit cold, but..

That's blue too.

 

 

6: Either you had some unique train of thought that led you to ask that, like "Huh, today I wore a red shirt but I normally wear green. I wonder what color shirts others are wearing", or you just threw it in there for no reason and said it was extra credit so we didn't take it too seriously.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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