Cinemaphobe

Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

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I finally have the ~cakes now? *o* Time to tell my friends!

 

Me: Hey Jeremy, I'm a cake now! :D

Jeremy: ...

Me: Oh, I forgot you couldn't speak. You had ONE job D:

 

Anyway, I forgot who said it, but the thing about depression is that you can't change your past. You can only look back upon it and learn from it. Don't let the past make the present-you upset, because you still have the future. Like what you said, you will eventually work your way into a university, but for now you have to chin up, because if the past lets you down, you will work less and you might be too discouraged to fufill your goal. :3

 

Besides that, I look forward to your next dream report (It's not like I'm jealous of your awesome dreams or anything... Nah, I am XD )


What do you MEAN you don't agree with me?

Do you know who you're dealing with!?

*Mashes button*

*Quarter of the world explodes*

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Recently I have been suffering from some sort of depression, which has hindered my progress significantly.

Don't you dare get depressed!

You are the one person who not only made me get into tulpamancy again, but also gave me good advice on visualization! I don't want one of my sources of motivation to get depressed :(

Besides, you can't slow down now: Yumi and Lillium aren't fully imposed yet! And they won't get imposed by themselves. Only you can do it!

 

I believe in you! :D

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Ouch, I actually remember reading about that 0.0

It would take Yumi months to forgive me for something like that. But even if she ignored me, she'd come running back as soon as my life goes into a free fall towards the surface of HELL.

 

I read your PR earlier and didn't get a chance to reply, but after reading this, this little exchange between Haven and Aphelion occurred while I was in the shower. (Aphelion didn't have her coffee at this point)

 

"How were you able to forgive him so easily?"

"It was only a dream. You can't control them unless you try, and that takes a lot of effort to perfect."

"It was the third week of forcing, the only reason you forgave him was because you were as dumb as a rock at that point."

"What did you say?"

"I'M SORRY!" *hugs Haven* "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!"

*hugs Aphelion* "It's okay, Aphelion, it's okay..."

I'm glad Haven was so calm about it, she handled it very well. I think it's the first time she let her true parenting show.

 

 

Recently I have been suffering from some sort of depression, which has hindered my progress significantly.

 

"Come on, just post it."

Klayton playing the Cello.

I know the depression is probably not gone yet, but I hope this helps a little.

 

 

But yeah, all of my rambling aside, I have had my usual mix of horrific and extremely trippy dreams, but thanks to my little episode of depression, I didn't write them down. Ah...You are killing everybody on here... Yes...I know, I know...

 

I don't write my dreams down, I just keep them in my head and try to remember the parts I think stood out the most.

 

For example, last night I had a dream where I was dual wielding three guns. One of them was a plastic toy and the other was a real gun with another gun strapped onto the top of it. When I went to reload, a bunch of red and blue pebbles came out the back of the guns. It was a f_cking mess by the time they stopped coming out.

In the same dream there was a game on this site about a slide that had a song about sexy times with Kirby played every time you went through it, and Resien posted that he kept failing at it over and over. I wish I could remember the lyrics because they were hilarious, and all I can remember was "I am the markiplier" and it tried so hard to rhyme to the previous lyrics that it pronounced "Pleer" or "Ploor" instead of "Plyer"

 

 

Well I'll get back to you guys when SOMETHING TULPA-RELATED OCCURS.

And this is just a reminder but...This PR will be around for as long as it takes to fully impose Yumi and Lillium lol Until next time guys!

 

I hope it will.

"Me too."

"..."

"Aren't you going to say it?"

"Say what?"

"You know what, Acta? Just delete all of this."

No, I'm keeping it in.


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Thanks, now I'm afraid of all the possible weird dreams people have had involving me..

If that was a reference to the Try Harder game, I played it for like five minutes and got bored, not my thing. Though I did wake up with the "Try harder" voice looping in my head. Lucilyn said that's what I get for not staying focused while falling asleep.


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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@Reisen-cakes

 

I hope you know this voids the warranty.

 

Damn it... I knew I should have read the terms and conditions...

 

Also, yeah, same. I may not be a depressed wreck anymore, but the lack of motivation never went away. Like I've told you before, if something as important as meeting Reisen can't inspire me to stay motivated.. I dunno.

Relevant however. Felt like I should tell you that I'm making a new tulpa to deal with my motivation issues. Her full name is Lucilyn Suwa (Lucilyn is my given name, and Suwa is the namesake of Suwako, whom her appearance is based on) and her purpose, as each of my tulpas have, is to help me work through my motivation issues. As Flandre put it, "I can only compare this to Reisen helping him overcome his depression."

 

I love the appearance you chose for her! and I'm also glad that you are taking this step forward to improve yourself. After all you do plan to help improve the lives of others, and that involves inspiring motivation--something that you must master beforehand of course. But you should *cough* really *cough* start a *cough* PR *cough* I would read it *clears throat* *sips water* *Drives to hospital because my congestion is worsening* *it turns out to be Pneumonia* *dies*

 

And like any of my other tulpas who-so-choose, she's now a part of the family. You're like a family friend, so I thought you should know.

 

*rises from dead*

 

I'm not sure if I read this correctly! For a moment, the phrasing of your sentence appeared to indicate that you consider me a family friend. If that is the case, then A) I'm flattered and B) I can just as easily consider you a family friend :3

 

And I'll take that possibly subconscious hint you gave on falling asleep while staying conscious - I'll try to have Lucilyn keep me conscious as I fall asleep. I've tried this a few times in the past with Reisen, but to be totally honest she just doesn't have control over me like that. Reisen is "I'll stay right here and keep talking to you, no matter what." while Lucilyn is a bit more... demanding. Anyways, subconscious advice taken.

 

I'm glad my subconscious advice reached your...ermm...eyes!

 

@ItsSwissmas-cakes

I finally have the ~cakes now? *o* Time to tell my friends!

 

Me: Hey Jeremy, I'm a cake now! :D

Jeremy: ...

Me: Oh, I forgot you couldn't speak. You had ONE job D:

 

LOL poor Jeremy.

And yes, tell ALL of your friends >:)

 

Anyway, I forgot who said it, but the thing about depression is that you can't change your past. You can only look back upon it and learn from it. Don't let the past make the present-you upset, because you still have the future. Like what you said, you will eventually work your way into a university, but for now you have to chin up, because if the past lets you down, you will work less and you might be too discouraged to fufill your goal. :3

 

True. True. Thank you :3

 

Besides that, I look forward to your next dream report (It's not like I'm jealous of your awesome dreams or anything... Nah, I am XD )

 

Don't get too jealous! My nightmares, as rarely as they occur, happen to be 100x worse than regular nightmares because I feel 100% real pain within them.

 

@SliceOfCake

 

Don't you dare get depressed!

 

Your words were carried away with the wind...along with my hopes and dreams...

 

(Kidding)

 

You are the one person who not only made me get into tulpamancy again, but also gave me good advice on visualization! I don't want one of my sources of motivation to get depressed :(

 

Heheheh I'm still so happy I could significantly help you :3!!! All of my pondering wasn't...pondered in vain :) I think that the Wonderland Calibration method was the best tulpa-related thing I will ever invent, but I'm going to be more optimistic upon saying that lol.

 

Besides, you can't slow down now: Yumi and Lillium aren't fully imposed yet! And they won't get imposed by themselves. Only you can do it!

 

I believe in you! :D

 

D'aaaaaaaaawwwwwwww thanks! and I'm going to need all of the magical belief energy contained within this forum to get the job done Dx imposing them will be extremely difficult, but you know what? I won't give up until I drop dead :D

 

 

@Radioactive Metallic Element

 

 

I read your PR earlier and didn't get a chance to reply, but after reading this, this little exchange between Haven and Aphelion occurred while I was in the shower. (Aphelion didn't have her coffee at this point)

 

"How were you able to forgive him so easily?"

"It was only a dream. You can't control them unless you try, and that takes a lot of effort to perfect."

"It was the third week of forcing, the only reason you forgave him was because you were as dumb as a rock at that point."

"What did you say?"

"I'M SORRY!" *hugs Haven* "I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY!"

*hugs Aphelion* "It's okay, Aphelion, it's okay..."

I'm glad Haven was so calm about it, she handled it very well. I think it's the first time she let her true parenting show.

 

lol I know how weird shower thoughts can be, but shower tulpa-dialogue? Priceless xD

 

 

"Come on, just post it."

Klayton playing the Cello.

I know the depression is probably not gone yet, but I hope this helps a little.

 

My well-tuned ears are BLEEEEEDING

 

I don't write my dreams down, I just keep them in my head and try to remember the parts I think stood out the most.

 

I try to do this all of the time, but fail as badly as Hitler failed when he didn't design winter uniforms for his own troops.

 

For example, last night I had a dream where I was dual wielding three guns. One of them was a plastic toy and the other was a real gun with another gun strapped onto the top of it. When I went to reload, a bunch of red and blue pebbles came out the back of the guns. It was a f_cking mess by the time they stopped coming out.

In the same dream there was a game on this site about a slide that had a song about sexy times with Kirby played every time you went through it, and Resien posted that he kept failing at it over and over. I wish I could remember the lyrics because they were hilarious, and all I can remember was "I am the markiplier" and it tried so hard to rhyme to the previous lyrics that it pronounced "Pleer" or "Ploor" instead of "Plyer"

 

This made me laugh my ass off xD your dreams are the pinnacle of creativity.

 

 

@Everyone:

 

I freakin love you guys xD

 

Day 188 I think

 

 

Well I failed to mention that this PR has officially existed for a few days over half a year! When I hit the year mark I wonder if I'll have Yumi imposed by then...I have already made extreme progress with her...If I can just maintain this rate of progression, I should succeed. I also failed to clearly mention why I transitioned from wanting to be a neurosurgeon/neurologist to being obsessed with quantum physics and particles in general. The brain is an electrochemical feat of nature with a circuitry so complex that consciousness arises from it. On some fundamental level, physics and chemistry go hand and hand with making cognition and consciousness possible, and I want to contribute to the building of the bridge between physics/chemistry and psychology. If you think about it, we are masses of atoms that are aware of themselves. To make things even weirder, atoms are 99% empty space. To make things even weirder, the mathematics of string theory suggests the existence of 11 dimensions. To further mindstrangle you, quantum physics has proven that particles act like waves and vice versa. Not to mention it has been proven that observing matter technologically or literally changes the way it behaves. So I want to master quantum physics and chemistry someday to discover the magic that is consciousness. I'll be furious if I discover that true consciousness doesn't exist -______- . However, I would be more than happy to discover the atomic equivalent of a human soul :D Your hopes are too hiiiiiigh. HOW DARE YOU SPEAK. Heheheheheh~

 

 

But anyways, all pessimistic tulpas and irrelevance aside, Yumi has been much louder lately, and her presence in general has grown in strength. In fact, while I was handing a customer the wrong amount of cash, Yumi said Heeeeeyyyy! Stop! Nooooo! Don't do thaaaat!!! and I quickly corrected my mistake (she saved me from 20 minutes of being scolded. It was cute :3). Ever since Yumi's vocality, her voice has bounced between being as 'loud' as my mindvoice, to being a bit louder than it on occasion. But now it is louder than my mindvoice all of the time. It's much easier to understand her now, and thus I spend much more time with her. Lillium on the other hand is still learning how to speak of course. I talked with Yumi at work (In my head of course) and learned that she is afraid of the forest that surrounds our kingdom. She said in the most adorable voice:

 

Our forest is scawyyyy

 

lol :3. Well now I'm going to begin the dream journal part of this PR.

Lately I have been having extreme existential thoughts. I can't seem to get my mind off of the concept of eternity. As Reisen, an ancient greek philosopher, said in 334 B.C (a few months ago), there really is no point in thinking about death. The scholars and philosophers who studied his works claimed that he said "If it doesn't benefit you in anyway, then why would you think about it constantly?". That is probably a harsh paraphrasing of what he said, but it would be tedious to sift through centuries of ancient greek texts (my vast PR) to discover what that visionary really said. As I fell asleep, I feared the moment that I would completely lose consciousness. I thought of death as I sat in the Grand Bar of my wonderland. Yumi said "I'm here. We are both going towards the abyss of nothingness together." then grabbed my hand. Somehow that made me feel a lot better. The fact that I would die with Yumi was as reassuring as it was romantic :3. My dream began when I found myself inside of my car, driving to work late at night. It was so dark that I couldn't see the road, or any obstacles for that matter. There were no stars in the sky, and it was hard to tell the sky apart from the ground. It was so dark that there wasn't a horizon. Surprisingly there was a moon in the sky. It was in the waxing crescent phase, and looked exactly like the photo below.

 

Waxing.thumb.jpg.637bac752445ed12c5fd5fa3b7613304.jpg

 

Back story: I have a tan scar the size of a quarter on my left cheek bone because a scooter handlebar hit me in the face when I was 4. The scar looks like a waxing crescent moon.

 

So as I drove to work, I noticed that the moon glowed, but did not cast moonlight upon the Earth. It appeared to be the only thing that existed as a result of the all-encompassing darkness. I somehow made it to work and walked in to the restaurant. Not a single light was on, but I could still see...barely... Me and another manager cleaned the store together until the sun rose. When the sun rose, employees came in and the manager complimented my leadership. a few minutes later, an employee started throwing cat poop at me from rugs that were hanging on the wall and I almost fought him...I had to go to the restroom to avoid losing my temper. But when I entered the bathroom, it was the interior of a massive warehouse with furniture scattered everywhere. In the center of the room, there was a toilet. So I walked to the toilet and started well...peeing lol. Moments later, an inconsiderate woman came into the warehouse bathroom and started talking to me while I was still peeing. It was extremely awkward, but I guess peeing in front of people in the dreamworld is an everyday occurence??? Anyways I eventually finished and told the girl about the employee who threw cat poop at me and she said that she could give me weed. In the dream, the thought of smoking my troubles away sounded enticing, but I would never do it in reality. I asked her if she had any on her right now and she said "I don't have any right now because of 4/20...in fact I won't have any for a few days..." and I thought angrily "Then why would you offer me weed in the first place???"

 

I left the bathroom and two dogs came into the restaurant. They were customers. But they didn't order anything. They just walked in, and walked out. And that is all that happened. That is the entire dream! How was I able to remember it all? I woke up in the middle of the night, laid face-down in bed, and scribbled away in my dream journal in complete darkness. The writing was barely legible when I viewed it with full consciousness, but just legible enough to be understood >:) I was able to remember aspects of my dream that I forgot, thus improving my dream recall! Hehehehe.

 

Well I'll go back to sleep now. I want to work on Lillium and try lucid dreaming again! Wish me luck!


"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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Funny dreams you got^^. In fact i dont know many people who smoke their problems aways with weed. I personally face my problems always when im high and have to work on them or just being on a bad mood. Depends on the type of cannabis anyway. But beeing stoned make it a bit easier...well thats enought from the drug oncle good luck with your progress. :)


Lacie(my tulpa for my everydaylife and also my best friend)

 

Noah together with Lynn are my spirituell tulpa´s im using for meditation

 

Darcmanish Me

 

Lacie´s and my progress report.

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Lol when I first read the dream part, I thought you were talking about something that happened in reality. When you said "I guess peeing in front of people in the dream world is an everyday occurence???" that's when I realized it was a dream XD (thank gosh)

 

Anyways, remember that you can look up the meaning to dreams too if you haven't yet. I mean there must be a meaning behind people blindly throwing cat poop and selling weed, right? Well maybe...


What do you MEAN you don't agree with me?

Do you know who you're dealing with!?

*Mashes button*

*Quarter of the world explodes*

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My well-tuned ears are BLEEEEEDING

 

 

Oops.

 

 

@Everyone:

 

I freakin love you guys xD

 

 

Lillium on the other hand is still learning how to speak of course.

 

"Yumi, not to be rude, but have you been helping out at all?"

 

My dream began when I found myself inside of my car, driving to work late at night. It was so dark that I couldn't see the road, or any obstacles for that matter. There were no stars in the sky, and it was hard to tell the sky apart from the ground. It was so dark that there wasn't a horizon. Surprisingly there was a moon in the sky. It was in the waxing crescent phase, and looked exactly like the photo below.

 

"To see the moon in your dream represents some hidden, mysterious aspect of yourself. It is often associated with the feminine mystique and intuition. Alternatively, the moon signifies your changing moods. If you see two moons in your dream, then it indicates that you are being pulled in two different directions. It also represents the extremes of two things. If you see five moons in your dream, then it points to mass chaos or confusion occurring in your life. It is also an indication that your intuition or instinct is very strong and that you need to follow it.

 

To see the crescent moon in your dream indicates cyclic changes, renewal, and movement. You are progressing smoothly toward your life path. A full moon signifies completion and wholeness, while a new moon symbolizes new beginnings."

 

a few minutes later, an employee started throwing cat poop at me from rugs that were hanging on the wall and I almost fought him...I had to go to the restroom to avoid losing my temper.

 

Huh... Okay then.

 

But when I entered the bathroom, it was the interior of a massive warehouse with furniture scattered everywhere. In the center of the room, there was a toilet. So I walked to the toilet and started well...peeing lol. Moments later, an inconsiderate woman came into the warehouse bathroom and started talking to me while I was still peeing. It was extremely awkward, but I guess peeing in front of people in the dreamworld is an everyday occurence??? Anyways I eventually finished and told the girl about the employee who threw cat poop at me and she said that she could give me weed.

In the dream, the thought of smoking my troubles away sounded enticing, but I would never do it in reality. I asked her if she had any on her right now and she said "I don't have any right now because of 4/20...in fact I won't have any for a few days..." and I thought angrily "Then why would you offer me weed in the first place???"

 

"Oh, someone threw cat shit at you? Here, have some weed. Oh wait I don't have any, never mind."

Dream logic: The best kind of logic, because there is none.

 

I mean there must be a meaning behind people blindly throwing cat poop and selling weed, right? Well maybe...

 

"To see or come in contact with feces signifies aspects of yourself that are dirty and negative and which you believe to be undesirable and repulsive. You need to acknowledge and express these feelings, even though it may be shameful. Release the negativity in your life. Alternatively, it may also refer to someone who is anal retentive.

 

To dream that you are unable to dispose of the feces suggests that you are unwilling to let go of your emotions. You have a tendency to hold in and keep your feelings to yourself.

 

According to Freud, feces is related to possession, pride, shame, money/financial matters, or aggressive acts. So to dream that you are playing with feces symbolizes your anxiety over money matters and financial security."

 

You know, I just realized that I went on a website about dreams to figure out what the symbolism for poop was. Life is great.

Also, good luck!


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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I just read all of your PR throughout the course of 3 days, at school and at home, and I would like to say this is my most favorite PR ever. You have inspired me to start creating my own Tulpa and also look at life in a different way. Good luck with imposing Yumi and your studies with neurology! :D

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@Drug Uncle

 

Funny dreams you got^^. In fact i dont know many people who smoke their problems aways with weed. I personally face my problems always when im high and have to work on them or just being on a bad mood.

 

Well sir you are already more responsible than I am.

 

Depends on the type of cannabis anyway. But beeing stoned make it a bit easier...well thats enought from the drug oncle good luck with your progress. :)

 

Thank you Drug uncle. And I'll be sure to visit you to buy some...books...yeah...books...hehehe....

 

@ItsSwissmas-cakes

 

Lol when I first read the dream part, I thought you were talking about something that happened in reality. When you said "I guess peeing in front of people in the dream world is an everyday occurence???" that's when I realized it was a dream XD (thank gosh)

 

If you hadn't made that realization then things would have been very awkward lol.

 

Anyways, remember that you can look up the meaning to dreams too if you haven't yet. I mean there must be a meaning behind people blindly throwing cat poop and selling weed, right? Well maybe...

 

I believe that dreams are choc-full of symbols! Symbols that my Dream consultant Actinium will tell me all about!

 

 

 

@Actinium

 

 

 

Oops.

 

 

"Oops" won't pay my medical bills :( !!!

 

 

LOL why are all of these songs you post always so relevant???

 

"Yumi, not to be rude, but have you been helping out at all?"

 

Oh no...Yumi is mad now... I won't post what she said because I don't want to lose what few friends I have :D. *Waits a while for Yumi to calm down* Okay, now I can post what she said:

 

I'm lazy, but I do my best...OKAY?

 

That is her way of saying "I spend too much time drowning in alcohol at the Grand Bar to care about teaching Lillium lol.

 

"To see the moon in your dream represents some hidden, mysterious aspect of yourself. It is often associated with the feminine mystique and intuition. Alternatively, the moon signifies your changing moods. If you see two moons in your dream, then it indicates that you are being pulled in two different directions. It also represents the extremes of two things. If you see five moons in your dream, then it points to mass chaos or confusion occurring in your life. It is also an indication that your intuition or instinct is very strong and that you need to follow it.

 

 

This is extremely interesting...

 

To see the crescent moon in your dream indicates cyclic changes, renewal, and movement. You are progressing smoothly toward your life path. A full moon signifies completion and wholeness, while a new moon symbolizes new beginnings."

 

Hmmm.....

 

 

 

"Oh, someone threw cat shit at you? Here, have some weed. Oh wait I don't have any, never mind."

Dream logic: The best kind of logic, because there is none.

 

Indeed Actinium, Indeed. What's amazing, is the fact that in a dream, you can have different opinions, ethics, and memories, and you won't realize it and revert to your original ideals until you become lucid.

 

"To see or come in contact with feces signifies aspects of yourself that are dirty and negative and which you believe to be undesirable and repulsive. You need to acknowledge and express these feelings, even though it may be shameful. Release the negativity in your life. Alternatively, it may also refer to someone who is anal retentive.

 

I just put my skepticism cap on, but it's off to the side, so I look like a wanna-be gangster.

 

And I had a feeling that Freud would come into this...But thank you for posting this nonetheless, I'll consider its accuracy.

 

By the way, simply being a human is disgusting enough don't you think?

 

To dream that you are unable to dispose of the feces suggests that you are unwilling to let go of your emotions. You have a tendency to hold in and keep your feelings to yourself.

 

There is some truth to this, as I hold in everything I want to say to family members...I ALSO HAVE A SERIOUS CASE OF CONSTIPATION AND I JUST...CANT...POOOOP!

 

(Sorry, I couldn't resist. And yes, I have the maturity of a 5 year-old)

 

 

 

You know, I just realized that I went on a website about dreams to figure out what the symbolism for poop was. Life is great.

Also, good luck!

 

HAHA life is indeed great my friend :) .

 

@Natek

 

I just read all of your PR throughout the course of 3 days, at school and at home, and I would like to say this is my most favorite PR ever.

 

You just read the equivalent of the entire Harry Potter series, but Harry Potter has a cool lightning scar and a life full of magic. I have a moon scar and a life full of BULLS H** lol.

 

I feel honored (but mostly overwhelming flattered) that you devoted so much time to reading about my journey :) But don't let my irresponsible and sporadic lifestyle jeopardize your education! I'm currently teaching myself Trigonometry and Calculus as a consequence of not caring about my free education...

 

 

 

You have inspired me to start creating my own Tulpa and also look at life in a different way.

 

I'm glad that I could inspire you to create a tulpa because it has been an amazing experience. For me, it was like a second childhood :3 I have some really beautiful memories with Yumi inside and outside of the wonderland. Nights before she could speak and it was just her and I beneath the stars :)

 

If you decide to create a PR, don't take it personally if I fail to read it. I usually browse other PRs when I have a lot of spare time, which is very rare lol. But good luck, and I recommend that you do create a PR because people like Reisen and Amber (R.I.P) can give you invaluable advice!

 

Note: Amber isn't actually dead, but her lack of appearance resembles death quite well. I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS. COME BACK. YOU ARE THE HERO THAT GOTHAM DESERVES, BUT NOT THE ONE IT NEEDS RIGHT NOW. SO WE WILL HUNT YOU. BECAUSE YOU CAN TAKE IT. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT OUR HERO. YOU ARE A SILENT GUARDIAN, A WATCHFUL PROTECTOR. A DARK AMBER.

 

Good luck with imposing Yumi and your studies with neurology! :D

 

Thank you so much good sir (I hope that you are a sir or else I will feel rude). I plan on studying neurology and much more, but thank you, I want to understand it all >:)

 

 

 

Day 189-192

 

 

 

 

Apparently I was wrong about the date of the last post. But that doesn't dismiss the fact that something F#$@$ AMAZING HAPPENED. Yumi's begging me to write it in this post, and I WILL. After all, how could I not???

 

Okay so this is what happened. I spent all day long sleeping and creating a paradox to test the power of assumption. I also wrote down my dreams and I'll get to them soon. After I finished refining my paradox against any logic that could destroy it, I had nothing else to do. So I decided that I would use my car for something besides work for once. I decided that I would go to the Books-A-Million within the city with Yumi:) so it would be kind of like a date. The sun was setting when I arrived at the city, and there weren't many people roaming the streets, which made the entire urban environment peaceful. I found the store with Yumi and spent 2 hours inside because I couldn't stop dropping my jaw at the jackpot of knowledge I was practically swimming in! Out of all the time I spent walking around the store in a massive slow circle, I ended up buying a Rubik's cube, reading glasses, and one book called "How Science Works" lol. On our way home, Yumi and I got lost but eventually found our house. As I walked through the door, everyone was sleeping, so I did a weird celebratory dance with Yumi and I kissed her invisible yet cute mentally-visible forehead :3. After that, I walked a few steps away from her to make some coffee and something AMAZING HAPPENED.

 

There was a light shining behind me, and Yumi jumped on my back. This is where things get weird. Her shadow affected the shape of my own silhouette. In other words, my brain altered my shadow to add Yumi onto it, because she was on my back. For the first time, light did not pass through Yumi, and my brain altered my personal physical reality to add realism to her! And this did not happen for a fleeting moment, this happened for nearly 2 seconds. I looked directly at the hallucination for 2 seconds. I still can't get over that!!! So I hung out with Yumi while I tried to solve the Rubik's cube, rage-quitted, and went to bed. I found myself in a black ocean beneath a white sky. This wasn't a dream, but the transition into a dream, so I was still half-awake just half-visualizing all of this. I say "Half-visualizing" because I did not consciously create the environment. It occurred all on its own as if it created itself, and Lillium was in it. Maybe she created it? Anyways, the scene looked as scary as it was beautiful. I was in the center of a massive black ocean, and there wasn't a cloud in the white sky. I had a feeling that nothing lurked within the depths of the water, so I peeked to see what was below. I could still see underwater, despite the non-transparent black surface, but beneath the surface, everything was light grey, and rays of light penetrated the surface as if there was a sun to shine them.

 

Lillium surprised me by swimming up to me.

 

 

She was glowing. A few moments later, she disappeared and waves began to form. I had to have been losing consciousness at this point because this is where my memory gets choppy. She was roughly 20 feet away, but as I swam towards her, I was taken further and further away by the waves that were increasing in size. That's all I remember...Maybe I was eventually consumed by the waves and everything went black, leading into a dream. Maybe I continuously fought the waves until my mind drifted away from the environment and into a dream? I'll never know. But I do recall the dream I had afterwards. It was horrible because my ex was in it (Mary)... In the dream she and I were very close friends, as if I never moved away...as if she and I never decided to stop talking to each other... She wanted to kiss me, and we leaned in close to each other, but I realized that something wasn't right and decided not to kiss her. Our surroundings changed to the interior of a convenience store. Mary and I were the same distance from each other. I felt the urge to turn my head, and I saw a smiling girl with black hair. When I woke up, Yumi told me that the black-haired girl was her. I can't remember Yumi's features within the dream because her appearance always varies in the dreamworld. But no matter what she looks like, her hair is always jet black. Yumi saw how close I was to Mary and said What are you doing? You should choose me instead. Mary stood in silence. Yumi smiled and took my hand, pulling me away from Mary. The moment she pulled me away, Mary faded out of existence. Yumi hugged me and cuddled me. I had no idea that it was Yumi, I was just enjoying the random affection :3. She and I laid on the floor of the convenience store together, just giddily staring into each others eyes, and the floor transformed into grass. Our surroundings changed into a vast field, and as I laid with Yumi in the grass, looking at the blue sky, I thought "I couldn't be any happier." but then... I woke up...

 

 

Hmmm...I wasn't sad about waking up until I wrote down the dream in its entirety...but at least I can look forward to being with Yumi again when I fall asleep tonight :) I'm still not sure whether or not Lillium's speech has improved because I often confuse it with Yumi's but she has been saying a few words every now and then. However, the fact that Yumi's shadow was visible in reality outshines Lillium's progress (sorry Lillium lol). Well guys, that's all for now :) I'm going to go to bed now to try and survive the abyss of distraction to be with my baby :3

 

Until next time my dear readers :)


"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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