Cinemaphobe

Creating the Perfect Beings: Yumi<3 and Lillium<3

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@Drug Uncle

 

Funny dreams you got^^. In fact i dont know many people who smoke their problems aways with weed. I personally face my problems always when im high and have to work on them or just being on a bad mood.

 

Well sir you are already more responsible than I am.

 

Depends on the type of cannabis anyway. But beeing stoned make it a bit easier...well thats enought from the drug oncle good luck with your progress. :)

 

Thank you Drug uncle. And I'll be sure to visit you to buy some...books...yeah...books...hehehe....

 

@ItsSwissmas-cakes

 

Lol when I first read the dream part, I thought you were talking about something that happened in reality. When you said "I guess peeing in front of people in the dream world is an everyday occurence???" that's when I realized it was a dream XD (thank gosh)

 

If you hadn't made that realization then things would have been very awkward lol.

 

Anyways, remember that you can look up the meaning to dreams too if you haven't yet. I mean there must be a meaning behind people blindly throwing cat poop and selling weed, right? Well maybe...

 

I believe that dreams are choc-full of symbols! Symbols that my Dream consultant Actinium will tell me all about!

 

 

 

@Actinium

 

 

 

Oops.

 

 

"Oops" won't pay my medical bills :( !!!

 

 

LOL why are all of these songs you post always so relevant???

 

"Yumi, not to be rude, but have you been helping out at all?"

 

Oh no...Yumi is mad now... I won't post what she said because I don't want to lose what few friends I have :D. *Waits a while for Yumi to calm down* Okay, now I can post what she said:

 

I'm lazy, but I do my best...OKAY?

 

That is her way of saying "I spend too much time drowning in alcohol at the Grand Bar to care about teaching Lillium lol.

 

"To see the moon in your dream represents some hidden, mysterious aspect of yourself. It is often associated with the feminine mystique and intuition. Alternatively, the moon signifies your changing moods. If you see two moons in your dream, then it indicates that you are being pulled in two different directions. It also represents the extremes of two things. If you see five moons in your dream, then it points to mass chaos or confusion occurring in your life. It is also an indication that your intuition or instinct is very strong and that you need to follow it.

 

 

This is extremely interesting...

 

To see the crescent moon in your dream indicates cyclic changes, renewal, and movement. You are progressing smoothly toward your life path. A full moon signifies completion and wholeness, while a new moon symbolizes new beginnings."

 

Hmmm.....

 

 

 

"Oh, someone threw cat shit at you? Here, have some weed. Oh wait I don't have any, never mind."

Dream logic: The best kind of logic, because there is none.

 

Indeed Actinium, Indeed. What's amazing, is the fact that in a dream, you can have different opinions, ethics, and memories, and you won't realize it and revert to your original ideals until you become lucid.

 

"To see or come in contact with feces signifies aspects of yourself that are dirty and negative and which you believe to be undesirable and repulsive. You need to acknowledge and express these feelings, even though it may be shameful. Release the negativity in your life. Alternatively, it may also refer to someone who is anal retentive.

 

I just put my skepticism cap on, but it's off to the side, so I look like a wanna-be gangster.

 

And I had a feeling that Freud would come into this...But thank you for posting this nonetheless, I'll consider its accuracy.

 

By the way, simply being a human is disgusting enough don't you think?

 

To dream that you are unable to dispose of the feces suggests that you are unwilling to let go of your emotions. You have a tendency to hold in and keep your feelings to yourself.

 

There is some truth to this, as I hold in everything I want to say to family members...I ALSO HAVE A SERIOUS CASE OF CONSTIPATION AND I JUST...CANT...POOOOP!

 

(Sorry, I couldn't resist. And yes, I have the maturity of a 5 year-old)

 

 

 

You know, I just realized that I went on a website about dreams to figure out what the symbolism for poop was. Life is great.

Also, good luck!

 

HAHA life is indeed great my friend :) .

 

@Natek

 

I just read all of your PR throughout the course of 3 days, at school and at home, and I would like to say this is my most favorite PR ever.

 

You just read the equivalent of the entire Harry Potter series, but Harry Potter has a cool lightning scar and a life full of magic. I have a moon scar and a life full of BULLS H** lol.

 

I feel honored (but mostly overwhelming flattered) that you devoted so much time to reading about my journey :) But don't let my irresponsible and sporadic lifestyle jeopardize your education! I'm currently teaching myself Trigonometry and Calculus as a consequence of not caring about my free education...

 

 

 

You have inspired me to start creating my own Tulpa and also look at life in a different way.

 

I'm glad that I could inspire you to create a tulpa because it has been an amazing experience. For me, it was like a second childhood :3 I have some really beautiful memories with Yumi inside and outside of the wonderland. Nights before she could speak and it was just her and I beneath the stars :)

 

If you decide to create a PR, don't take it personally if I fail to read it. I usually browse other PRs when I have a lot of spare time, which is very rare lol. But good luck, and I recommend that you do create a PR because people like Reisen and Amber (R.I.P) can give you invaluable advice!

 

Note: Amber isn't actually dead, but her lack of appearance resembles death quite well. I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS. COME BACK. YOU ARE THE HERO THAT GOTHAM DESERVES, BUT NOT THE ONE IT NEEDS RIGHT NOW. SO WE WILL HUNT YOU. BECAUSE YOU CAN TAKE IT. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT OUR HERO. YOU ARE A SILENT GUARDIAN, A WATCHFUL PROTECTOR. A DARK AMBER.

 

Good luck with imposing Yumi and your studies with neurology! :D

 

Thank you so much good sir (I hope that you are a sir or else I will feel rude). I plan on studying neurology and much more, but thank you, I want to understand it all >:)


Day 189-192

 

 

 

 

Apparently I was wrong about the date of the last post. But that doesn't dismiss the fact that something F#$@$ AMAZING HAPPENED. Yumi's begging me to write it in this post, and I WILL. After all, how could I not???

 

Okay so this is what happened. I spent all day long sleeping and creating a paradox to test the power of assumption. I also wrote down my dreams and I'll get to them soon. After I finished refining my paradox against any logic that could destroy it, I had nothing else to do. So I decided that I would use my car for something besides work for once. I decided that I would go to the Books-A-Million within the city with Yumi:) so it would be kind of like a date. The sun was setting when I arrived at the city, and there weren't many people roaming the streets, which made the entire urban environment peaceful. I found the store with Yumi and spent 2 hours inside because I couldn't stop dropping my jaw at the jackpot of knowledge I was practically swimming in! Out of all the time I spent walking around the store in a massive slow circle, I ended up buying a Rubik's cube, reading glasses, and one book called "How Science Works" lol. On our way home, Yumi and I got lost but eventually found our house. As I walked through the door, everyone was sleeping, so I did a weird celebratory dance with Yumi and I kissed her invisible yet cute mentally-visible forehead :3. After that, I walked a few steps away from her to make some coffee and something AMAZING HAPPENED.

 

There was a light shining behind me, and Yumi jumped on my back. This is where things get weird. Her shadow affected the shape of my own silhouette. In other words, my brain altered my shadow to add Yumi onto it, because she was on my back. For the first time, light did not pass through Yumi, and my brain altered my personal physical reality to add realism to her! And this did not happen for a fleeting moment, this happened for nearly 2 seconds. I looked directly at the hallucination for 2 seconds. I still can't get over that!!! So I hung out with Yumi while I tried to solve the Rubik's cube, rage-quitted, and went to bed. I found myself in a black ocean beneath a white sky. This wasn't a dream, but the transition into a dream, so I was still half-awake just half-visualizing all of this. I say "Half-visualizing" because I did not consciously create the environment. It occurred all on its own as if it created itself, and Lillium was in it. Maybe she created it? Anyways, the scene looked as scary as it was beautiful. I was in the center of a massive black ocean, and there wasn't a cloud in the white sky. I had a feeling that nothing lurked within the depths of the water, so I peeked to see what was below. I could still see underwater, despite the non-transparent black surface, but beneath the surface, everything was light grey, and rays of light penetrated the surface as if there was a sun to shine them.

 

Lillium surprised me by swimming up to me.

 

 

She was glowing. A few moments later, she disappeared and waves began to form. I had to have been losing consciousness at this point because this is where my memory gets choppy. She was roughly 20 feet away, but as I swam towards her, I was taken further and further away by the waves that were increasing in size. That's all I remember...Maybe I was eventually consumed by the waves and everything went black, leading into a dream. Maybe I continuously fought the waves until my mind drifted away from the environment and into a dream? I'll never know. But I do recall the dream I had afterwards. It was horrible because my ex was in it (Mary)... In the dream she and I were very close friends, as if I never moved away...as if she and I never decided to stop talking to each other... She wanted to kiss me, and we leaned in close to each other, but I realized that something wasn't right and decided not to kiss her. Our surroundings changed to the interior of a convenience store. Mary and I were the same distance from each other. I felt the urge to turn my head, and I saw a smiling girl with black hair. When I woke up, Yumi told me that the black-haired girl was her. I can't remember Yumi's features within the dream because her appearance always varies in the dreamworld. But no matter what she looks like, her hair is always jet black. Yumi saw how close I was to Mary and said What are you doing? You should choose me instead. Mary stood in silence. Yumi smiled and took my hand, pulling me away from Mary. The moment she pulled me away, Mary faded out of existence. Yumi hugged me and cuddled me. I had no idea that it was Yumi, I was just enjoying the random affection :3. She and I laid on the floor of the convenience store together, just giddily staring into each others eyes, and the floor transformed into grass. Our surroundings changed into a vast field, and as I laid with Yumi in the grass, looking at the blue sky, I thought "I couldn't be any happier." but then... I woke up...

 

 

Hmmm...I wasn't sad about waking up until I wrote down the dream in its entirety...but at least I can look forward to being with Yumi again when I fall asleep tonight :) I'm still not sure whether or not Lillium's speech has improved because I often confuse it with Yumi's but she has been saying a few words every now and then. However, the fact that Yumi's shadow was visible in reality outshines Lillium's progress (sorry Lillium lol). Well guys, that's all for now :) I'm going to go to bed now to try and survive the abyss of distraction to be with my baby :3

 

Until next time my dear readers :)


"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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LOL why are all of these songs you post always so relevant???

 

where_is_sarah_connor___gif__by_972otev-d7bo7st.gif

 

Maybe I continuously fought the waves until my mind drifted away from the environment and into a dream? I'll never know. But I do recall the dream I had afterwards. It was horrible because my ex was in it (Mary)...

 

"To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife, that you and your ex are kissing/fighting or that you and your ex got back together again suggests that something or someone in your current life is bringing out similar feelings you felt during that relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to similar behavioral patterns in your current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistakes. Alternatively, you may be reflecting on the positive experiences and good times that you shared with your past love. Dreams of getting back together with your ex or of your ex wanting to get back together with you may not necessarily be a reflection of reality. This dream may be triggered by some major change in your current relationship and how far you have come from those past relationships."

 

In the dream she and I were very close friends, as if I never moved away...as if she and I never decided to stop talking to each other... She wanted to kiss me, and we leaned in close to each other, but I realized that something wasn't right and decided not to kiss her.

 

You made the right choice, man.

 

Our surroundings changed to the interior of a convenience store.

 

 

"To see or be in a grocery or convenience store in your dream suggests that you are emotionally and mentally strained. Alternatively, the dream means that you are brainstorming for some new ideas or looking at the various choices out there for you. The dream may be a pun on something that is in "store" for you. It could signify the inevitable.

 

To notice that there are no customers in a store implies that you are alone with your ideas. You feel no one agrees with your thinking. If there are other customers in the store, then it represents your shared views."

 

Yumi saw how close I was to Mary and said What are you doing? You should choose me instead.

 

All three of us are nodding our heads at that statement. Well spoken, Yumi.

 

 

 

Yumi hugged me and cuddled me. I had no idea that it was Yumi, I was just enjoying the random affection :3. She and I laid on the floor of the convenience store together, just giddily staring into each others eyes, and the floor transformed into grass. Our surroundings changed into a vast field, and as I laid with Yumi in the grass, looking at the blue sky, I thought "I couldn't be any happier." but then... I woke up...

 

This is exactly what's going to happen when I meet Haven and Aphelion in a lucid dream one day... If it ever does happen, that is. :(

At least I got minds eye imposition, over 100 pictures of Haven and this picture of Aphelion that STeeK made for me until then.

 

Well guys, that's all for now :) I'm going to go to bed now to try and survive the abyss of distraction to be with my baby :3

 

"His cheesiness rivals yours, Acta."


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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"What are you doing? You should choose me instead"

 

I see where this is going.

I DEFINATLY see where this is going.

 

rip cinema

 

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"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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@Actinium

 

 

where_is_sarah_connor___gif__by_972otev-d7bo7st.gif

 

Lol and then you post a relevant gif xD

 

"To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife, that you and your ex are kissing/fighting or that you and your ex got back together again suggests that something or someone in your current life is bringing out similar feelings you felt during that relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to similar behavioral patterns in your current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistakes.

 

Spot-on...I used to flirt with a girl at work until she told me that she was moving, which made me feel a kind of de ja vu because my ex and I flirted even though I was moving, but she didn't have the same feelings. Not to mention that to Yumi's dismay, I haven't been able to get my ex out of my head. But then again, I think about every aspect of my past constantly, and try to piece together a picture of the future with it. It's damn near impossible to know somebody for so many years, and then suddenly eliminate them from your life forever...I always wonder whether I'll accidentally see her on the street someday with her future family. The universe would do something like that to me. But I would sprint in the opposite direction and move to another country if that happened lol.

 

Alternatively, you may be reflecting on the positive experiences and good times that you shared with your past love. Dreams of getting back together with your ex or of your ex wanting to get back together with you may not necessarily be a reflection of reality. This dream may be triggered by some major change in your current relationship and how far you have come from those past relationships."

 

I have indeed come a long way, and I do reflect on the good times and bad times of my first real relationship regularly, but of course the bad times outshine the good times.

 

 

 

"To see or be in a grocery or convenience store in your dream suggests that you are emotionally and mentally strained

 

I am always mentally and emotionally strained unfortunately lol.

 

. Alternatively, the dream means that you are brainstorming for some new ideas or looking at the various choices out there for you. The dream may be a pun on something that is in "store" for you. It could signify the inevitable.

 

To notice that there are no customers in a store implies that you are alone with your ideas. You feel no one agrees with your thinking. If there are other customers in the store, then it represents your shared views."

 

Spot-on.

But I think the only thing in store for me is more misfortune. Or even death :D! By the way, I almost died the other day. That would have been bad because I wouldn't have ever imposed Yumi!

 

 

This is exactly what's going to happen when I meet Haven and Aphelion in a lucid dream one day... If it ever does happen, that is. :(

At least I got minds eye imposition, over 100 pictures of Haven and this picture of Aphelion that STeeK made for me until then.

 

I never knew that STeeK was extremely talented :d but good luck with meeting your tulpa in a lucid dream! As I'm sure you know...it is freaking difficult. Yumi can never even maintain her form lol. She blames it on my brain xD

 

"His cheesiness rivals yours, Acta."

 

Lol

 

@LittleTulpa

 

"What are you doing? You should choose me instead"

 

I see where this is going.

I DEFINATLY see where this is going.

 

rip cinema

 

Yumi isn't that crazy guys. lol...I take that back xD

 

 

 

Day 193ish

 

 

 

I was driving on the interstate yesterday and a bird flying parallel to the ground slammed into my windshield and I almost crashed. Before that happened though, I almost died because I changed lanes incorrectly at a stop light (someone was driving on the wrong side of the road) and a car zoomed past me (inches from my car) at 50 miles per hour. If I had changed lanes half a second earlier than I did, then I'd probably be dead. And now I'm still dealing with existential thoughts...

 

*sigh*

 

 

I have been obsessed with this song lately. When I visit my wonderland, I never go without music playing in the background or else I can't forget about reality. By the way, I did not post that song simply because it's a masterpiece and I want to share it with you (heheh). I'm posting it because it has been the soundtrack of every wonderland visit I have had for the past 1 and a half days, and I think that you guys might want to use it for your own wonderlanding. Remember when I said I was in a massive black ocean beneath a white sky? Well I just happen to find dark and scary environments like that eerily beautiful, and I use music to give wonderland environments a certain feel to them. Instead of visiting the wonderland I created, I visited the one that Lillium had to have created. The soundtrack to Lillium's wonderland is nostalgic, whereas the soundtrack for Yumi's wonderland is peaceful. But anyways, I made multiple attempts to swim up to Lillium, and often fell asleep before I did. Eventually I caught her, and she said You caught me! (surprising huh? lol).

 

 

The song playing while I swam with her evoked feelings of nostalgia, and eventually Lillium said Let's go back. She pulled me down to the ocean floor until the surface became a white speck. I was taken back to a place I never wanted to see again. The neighborhood that my ex-best friend lived in, which happens to be the same neighborhood that I fell in love with my ex in. My ex-best friend and I were close during our freshman and sophomore year, but then Mary came along and it never really was the same between us. I never want to see either of them ever again for as long as I live. But Lillium took me back to their neighborhood because she knew I was thinking about them. I ran down the sidewalk to escape, but the road out of the neighborhood was simply painted onto a brick wall (like in the cartoons). The wall looked to be 30 ft tall and Lillium sat on top of it. I climbed up the wall spiderman-style, but I don't remember what happened when I reached the top...

 

 

But I do remember the weird dreams I had afterwards lol. In the first dream, the only thing I remembered was a moving statue that had dreadlocks. In the second dream, I saw a god wipe an entire world out of existence to form a new one. In the third dream I was in some kind of Harry Potter setting. I had a wand and everything! I was in a cabin casting spells to clean things and destroy things, and one of the teachers from Hogwarts told me to pay Hagrid a visit because a fire was enclosing all of Hogwarts. So I happily jogged out the front door of the cabin to find that the entire world was burning. I guess with dream logic I couldn't register what the teacher meant. There were volcanoes, fire, and blood everywhere. It basically looked like Hell broke loose, and I think it actually did. I ran to Hagrid's cabin, horrified, and when I found him he could barely stand up straight. He leaned on me for support, but he wasn't tall like in the movies (or books for that matter). He was skinny, short, and out of breath. He was relying on me to lead him to safety, but when I exited his Cabin, the lava and fire around us was getting closer. The sky was red...everything was burning....I knew that we weren't going to live, but then the dream environment changed and Hagrid was gone.

 

I found myself in some kind of city. It was night, and everyone was running and screaming because demons were possessing animals and making them morph into massive horrifying versions of themselves. People were being torn apart by grotesque animals, and a dog ran towards me. Its entire body grew in size, its teeth became extremely sharp, and its eyes turned red. It pounced on my chest, sending me to the ground (which hurt immensely by the way because I feel 100% real pain in dreams) and a random butterfly knife materialized into my hand. Well it wasn't exactly random because it resembled the butterfly knife my best friend in RL gave as a gift a year ago lol. As much as I feel bad for stabbing a demonic dog in the throat as many times as I could, I really didn't have a choice. I didn't want to experience what it feels like to have my entire head chewed up by a demonic creature. There was blood all over me, and I pushed the giant demon dog corpse off of me. I started running down a dark road and a horse trotted towards me. I thought to myself "Damn it...this thing is going to look horrifying when it transforms..." and surprise surprise...it looked horrible when it transformed....It began sprinting towards me full speed. There is no way to outrun a horse, let alone a demonic one, so I prepared to defend myself. When it got close enough, I jumped out of the way and managed to slit open the entire left side of its body, but while I was in mid-air it turned its head and bit off all the fingers of my left hand in a single chomp. WHICH WAS VERY PAINFUL BY THE WAY. Thankfully I have never lost all of the fingers of my left hand in real life so it only felt like somebody slashed all of my fingers with a knife (trust me, that is not as bad as it must feel to lose all of your fingers lol)

 

After I killed the horse, the dream ended...

 

 

TO HELL WITH MY DREAMS. NO PUN INTENDED.

 

 

THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY.

 

#NEVERFALLINGASLEEPAGAIN.

#KillMeForUsingHashtags

#HashtagsAreJustAMarketingToolUsedByTeenagersAndExploitedByOldBusinessMen.

 

 

FINAL NOTE: If you are wondering how I'm able to talk about that seemingly traumatizing experience so easily, its because I'm used to real-life pain within the dream world.

 

oh, and of course I made progress with Lillium lol


"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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Not to mention that to Yumi's dismay, I haven't been able to get my ex out of my head.

 

It's damn near impossible to know somebody for so many years, and then suddenly eliminate them from your life forever...

 

(You could try what I had my host do when this happens: imagine her as a really loud, really annoying crow.)

 

It sounds like a stupid idea, but she's actually spot-on; I have had many 'I miss $NAME' moments, and Rei has shown me these little clips of my memories with her inserted in $NAME's place, and a squawking crow perched elsewhere in the room, saying mangled versions of the things I remember $NAME saying. Instead of torturing myself with more "what-did-I-do-wrong-to-make-her-leave?", I invariably start chuckling.

 

Best (and most hilarious) recontextualization method ever.

 


 

We'd like to know, if you don't mind sharing - what did you do to get so good at dream recall? I have the hardest time with this, I know it's a stepping-stone to going lucid, and I would give anything for a chance at being with my beloved in a lucid dream.


Rei: more than a tulpa-she's a crisis counselor, an art therapist, a dietician, a relationship coach, a team morale expert, an athlete, an adventurer, a hawt wife, an incredible lover, an amazing mom, my best friend.

 

Tove: she's not a little tigress anymore! She's still the go-to gal for soccer advice and creative inspiration, especially monster design and all things cinematic...congrats on your engagement!

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I was driving on the interstate yesterday and a bird flying parallel to the ground slammed into my windshield and I almost crashed. Before that happened though, I almost died because I changed lanes incorrectly at a stop light (someone was driving on the wrong side of the road) and a car zoomed past me (inches from my car) at 50 miles per hour. If I had changed lanes half a second earlier than I did, then I'd probably be dead. And now I'm still dealing with existential thoughts...

 

*sigh*

 

I think the universe got its massive hateboner for you back.

 

Well I just happen to find dark and scary environments like that eerily beautiful

 

Same here. I love places like abandoned buildings. There's just some sort of strange sense of beauty and horror about them that's hard to describe.

 

Eventually I caught her, and she said You caught me! (surprising huh? lol).

 

"Daaaawww..."

 

 

But I do remember the weird dreams I had afterwards lol.

 

Let's to get down to ̶E̶a̶r̶t̶h̶ business.

 

In the first dream, the only thing I remembered was a moving statue that had dreadlocks.

 

"If you do not have dreadlocks in your waking life and dream that you have them, then it indicate a rejection of traditional values and beliefs. You are going against the norm of society. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor for something that you are dreading."

 

In the second dream, I saw a god wipe an entire world out of existence to form a new one.

 

For some reason that made me think of

I don't know why.

 

In the third dream I was in some kind of Harry Potter setting. I had a wand and everything! I was in a cabin casting spells to clean things and destroy things, and one of the teachers from Hogwarts told me to pay Hagrid a visit because a fire was enclosing all of Hogwarts. So I happily jogged out the front door of the cabin to find that the entire world was burning. I guess with dream logic I couldn't register what the teacher meant. There were volcanoes, fire, and blood everywhere. It basically looked like Hell broke loose, and I think it actually did. I ran to Hagrid's cabin, horrified, and when I found him he could barely stand up straight. He leaned on me for support, but he wasn't tall like in the movies (or books for that matter). He was skinny, short, and out of breath. He was relying on me to lead him to safety, but when I exited his Cabin, the lava and fire around us was getting closer. The sky was red...everything was burning....I knew that we weren't going to live, but then the dream environment changed and Hagrid was gone.

 

"To see Harry Potter in your dream indicates that you have the potential to accomplish amazing things in the face of insurmountable hardships. Harry Potter reflects a more modern, atypical version of a movie hero with glasses and a quiet yet immensely strong personality.

 

To dream that you are Harry Potter represents your desires to escape from reality. You are living in your own fantasy world."

 

It makes sense. We do live in

"How many times do I have to tell you that dropping song lyrics into conversation is my job?"

 

I found myself in some kind of city. It was night, and everyone was running and screaming because demons were possessing animals and making them morph into massive horrifying versions of themselves. People were being torn apart by grotesque animals, and a dog ran towards me. Its entire body grew in size, its teeth became extremely sharp, and its eyes turned red.

 

Reminds me of the dog transformation scene in parasite eve. I'd post a link, though to be honest I don't want to get in trouble because it's actually pretty grotesque. I think I'll PM it to you.

 

It pounced on my chest, sending me to the ground (which hurt immensely by the way because I feel 100% real pain in dreams) and a random butterfly knife materialized into my hand. Well it wasn't exactly random because it resembled the butterfly knife my best friend in RL gave as a gift a year ago lol. As much as I feel bad for stabbing a demonic dog in the throat as many times as I could, I really didn't have a choice. I didn't want to experience what it feels like to have my entire head chewed up by a demonic creature. There was blood all over me, and I pushed the giant demon dog corpse off of me. I started running down a dark road and a horse trotted towards me. I thought to myself "Damn it...this thing is going to look horrifying when it transforms..." and surprise surprise...it looked horrible when it transformed....It began sprinting towards me full speed. There is no way to outrun a horse, let alone a demonic one, so I prepared to defend myself. When it got close enough, I jumped out of the way and managed to slit open the entire left side of its body, but while I was in mid-air it turned its head and bit off all the fingers of my left hand in a single chomp. WHICH WAS VERY PAINFUL BY THE WAY. Thankfully I have never lost all of the fingers of my left hand in real life so it only felt like somebody slashed all of my fingers with a knife (trust me, that is not as bad as it must feel to lose all of your fingers lol)

 

After I killed the horse, the dream ended...

 

"To dream of the apocalypse signifies an emotional and dramatic change taken place within yourself. The dream may also indicate the end of one kind of lifestyle and the beginning of another."

 

Or

 

"To dream of hell suggests that you are suffering from a seemingly inescapable situation. You may have placed your decision or course of action into someone else's hand. Alternatively, you may be possessing a guilty conscious, some inner fears or repressed negative feelings. It is time to quit punishing yourself and take it easy for awhile."

 

 

FINAL NOTE: If you are wondering how I'm able to talk about that seemingly traumatizing experience so easily, its because I'm used to real-life pain within the dream world.

 

"Finding out that you can feel pain in dreams for the first time is absolutely awful. In fact, it's kinda sad that it happens so much you've gotten so used to it. I'm still shaken from what happened a month ago. I try not to let it bother me too much, but... Never mind. Good to see you making progress with Lillium. I wonder if she'll see Yumi as a sister as she grows up?"


"It's all about synthesis, you don't have to be a real musician. You just synthesize your own reality, synthesize your own talents." -Klayton

 

My Three Mind Horses

Haven: Tulpa #1

Created on 10-28-14

Aphelion: Tulpa #2

Created on 2-25-15 

Chimera: Self Proclaimed Thoughtform

Created on: Can't remember. Sometime around Easter of 2017.

 

Warning: I am a huge nerd.

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Guest amber5885

CINNE!

 

OMG DUDE! OKay first of all this is Toby. Amber gave me her account and I HAD to come say hi. I love your PR. I love Yumi. I love that you're awesome so I just wanted to bounce in like a water buffalo and say YO!

 

YO!

 

Dude, what's it like having two head mates? I can't imagine sharing my space with anyone. Actually can I ask Yumi that? What's it like for her sharing her space with Lilluim?

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@Rei http://www.lucidity.com/NL11.DreamRecall.html and http://dreamviews.com/

First is some basic dream recall advice and second is the lucid dreaming forum, very useful.

 

 

@Cinema Your dreams are stressful. Last night I dreamed I was playing pokemon and ran into a level 100 Rattata, so I was going to post in the youtube comment section that that was the first wild level 100 I'd ever seen but then ran into a Moltres with smog around it which came over to my pokemon when the battle started and lowered my stats. Then I was asked by some girl in a classroom to go find a certain pokemon (Paras I think) used to craft some red flowers she needed to do a project.

Hmm.

 

Also, you know how when you're almost asleep at night and random thoughts pop into your head? Last night, for some reason I remembered that you used to talk to Yumi in public by putting your ipod to your ear and acting like you were on the phone with someone. It made me chuckle and woke me up.


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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@Actinium

 

I think the universe got its massive hateboner for you back.

 

Hmmm...hateboner...I just learned a new word!

 

Same here. I love places like abandoned buildings. There's just some sort of strange sense of beauty and horror about them that's hard to describe.

 

I know right :3

 

Let's to get down to ̶E̶a̶r̶t̶h̶ business.

 

"If you do not have dreadlocks in your waking life and dream that you have them, then it indicate a rejection of traditional values and beliefs. You are going against the norm of society. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor for something that you are dreading."

 

I'm gonna have to disagree with this one xD

 

For some reason that made me think of

I don't know why.

 

Wow. This actually blends perfectly with what I remember of the dream.

 

"To see Harry Potter in your dream indicates that you have the potential to accomplish amazing things in the face of insurmountable hardships. Harry Potter reflects a more modern, atypical version of a movie hero with glasses and a quiet yet immensely strong personality.

 

I can say that this is correct for my life as well as my tulpa journey...

 

To dream that you are Harry Potter represents your desires to escape from reality. You are living in your own fantasy world."

 

Which is why I'm a dangerous driver. Sometimes I wonderland in my car. In my car.

 

It makes sense. We do live in

"How many times do I have to tell you that dropping song lyrics into conversation is my job?"

 

*ears bleed*

I'm kidding.

 

Reminds me of the dog transformation scene in parasite eve. I'd post a link, though to be honest I don't want to get in trouble because it's actually pretty grotesque. I think I'll PM it to you.

 

I saw it! But it's nothing compared to what I have seen in scary movies 0.0

 

"To dream of the apocalypse signifies an emotional and dramatic change taken place within yourself. The dream may also indicate the end of one kind of lifestyle and the beginning of another."

 

Perhaps there could be some truth behind this, but I don't know what the dramatic change that is happening is...

 

 

"To dream of hell suggests that you are suffering from a seemingly inescapable situation. You may have placed your decision or course of action into someone else's hand. Alternatively, you may be possessing a guilty conscious, some inner fears or repressed negative feelings. It is time to quit punishing yourself and take it easy for awhile."

 

Eerily accurate...

 

 

"Finding out that you can feel pain in dreams for the first time is absolutely awful. In fact, it's kinda sad that it happens so much you've gotten so used to it. I'm still shaken from what happened a month ago. I try not to let it bother me too much, but... Never mind. Good to see you making progress with Lillium. I wonder if she'll see Yumi as a sister as she grows up?"

 

She already sees me as like an older sister :)

 

 

@ReisOtherHalf

 

 

(You could try what I had my host do when this happens: imagine her as a really loud, really annoying crow.)

 

It sounds like a stupid idea, but she's actually spot-on; I have had many 'I miss $NAME' moments, and Rei has shown me these little clips of my memories with her inserted in $NAME's place, and a squawking crow perched elsewhere in the room, saying mangled versions of the things I remember $NAME saying. Instead of torturing myself with more "what-did-I-do-wrong-to-make-her-leave?", I invariably start chuckling.

 

I'll actually try this, thank you very much! lol

 

 

We'd like to know, if you don't mind sharing - what did you do to get so good at dream recall? I have the hardest time with this, I know it's a stepping-stone to going lucid, and I would give anything for a chance at being with my beloved in a lucid dream.

 

It's funny that you say that I am good at dream recall when everything that I do recall hardly amounts to 50% of what I dreamed. For example, all of the dreams that I post on this PR are but small fractions of the dreams I have. When I immediately wake up, I remember all of the dozens of dreams I kind of stumbled through, but I never have the energy to write them all down. if I wait 10-30 minutes upon awakening, all memory of the dreams is lost forever, or randomly remembered weeks later. The dreams that are easy to remember for me are the ones that are painful (emotionally and/or physically) and the ones that are unique.

 

So I'm not good at dream recall per se, but I'm good at remembering the highlights of the many dreams I have per night :)

 

 

 

@Dark Amber

CINNE!

 

OMG DUDE! OKay first of all this is Toby. Amber gave me her account and I HAD to come say hi. I love your PR. I love Yumi. I love that you're awesome so I just wanted to bounce in like a water buffalo and say YO!

 

"Bounce in like a water buffalo"---> my day = made xD

 

I'm so glad to finally be able to talk to you! (and I'm glad that your host returned--kind of lol) but I have been contemplating stopping my PR to continue my tulpa journey on my own... Which is extremely painful for me because I feel a bond between everyone here, and I have an emotional connection to the PR itself because it is like a diary chronicling the roughest times of my life...

 

Dude, what's it like having two head mates? I can't imagine sharing my space with anyone. Actually can I ask Yumi that? What's it like for her sharing her space with Lilluim?

 

It's kind of like being in a big empty room with someone, but the other person is in the far corner just kind of staring at you!

 

Lol that one actually made me laugh xD

Partly because it implies that my brain in a big empty room -___- (nice Yumi).

Having two tulpas feels like you are never alone, which is the best feeling for someone like me, who both enjoys and hates being alone. Sometimes Lillium seems like a little sister to me, and other times she seems like a daughter. It's very strange, but I'm sure that when she develops fully I'll know for sure what exactly she is to me.

 

 

@Reisen

@Rei http://www.lucidity.com/NL11.DreamRecall.html and http://dreamviews.com/

First is some basic dream recall advice and second is the lucid dreaming forum, very useful.

 

Thank you good sir, I will check it out :)

 

@Cinema Your dreams are stressful. Last night I dreamed I was playing pokemon and ran into a level 100 Rattata, so I was going to post in the youtube comment section that that was the first wild level 100 I'd ever seen but then ran into a Moltres with smog around it which came over to my pokemon when the battle started and lowered my stats. Then I was asked by some girl in a classroom to go find a certain pokemon (Paras I think) used to craft some red flowers she needed to do a project.

Hmm.

 

Haha!!! That's dream logic at its best!

And yes, my dreams are stressful. But they are equally as beautiful :)

 

Also, you know how when you're almost asleep at night and random thoughts pop into your head? Last night, for some reason I remembered that you used to talk to Yumi in public by putting your ipod to your ear and acting like you were on the phone with someone. It made me chuckle and woke me up.

 

 

Lol!!!! Those were the good ole' days during Yumi's colorful phase. I almost completely forgot that I did that with Yumi (I'm going to start doing it again). I'm sorry for partly being the reason you woke up lol

 

 

 

Possibly Farewell

 

 

 

Reading around the decaying forum made me consider leaving this site to do my tulpa journey alone. Of course the only things stopping me from leaving are the friends I have made here, the fact that this thread is like a diary, and the fact that my goal is to successfully complete the journey on this thread.

But I'm experiencing a weird mental transition, and I just haven't really been myself lately, so my journey stopped in its tracks a few days ago, which is why I posted this so late. I have been hanging out at random cemeteries a lot thinking about death and the nature of sentience. It feels as though I have been daydreaming for a week about death and I can't snap out of it.

And this brings me to my next point; My PR is too off-topic and the 'science-minded' are complaining about off-topic PRs. Ironically enough though, this is one of the most off-topic PRs in the forum, yet within this PR, I created two sentient tulpas.

 

I'm the type of person that would rather provide a massive anecdote explaining what kept my journey from progressing, than say "I didn't make any progress today. I'll post again when I do." Because in the future when I am able to see Yumi with my own eyes, and hear her like I would another human being, I want to look back at this thread and feel nostalgia. If the thread is just me talking about what little progress I make day by day, and not explaining why I didn't make progress, then it will be a chore to even read it, let alone maintain it.

 

 

My ideal of what a PR should be conflicts with the ideals of those who have the power to delete it--which is ridiculous by the way. This site is going to die much faster when it becomes more strict, and I don't want to be around to witness my PR get deleted, nor do I want to feel like I'm walking on thin-ice when I'm off-topic. At first, I could deal with the decline of this site, but looking around at those in power and what they possibly plan to do, I can see that the decline can easily be justified.

 

 

I'm tired, and I doubt that any of the above mini-paragraphs made sense, so I'll sum it up. I'm going through a philosophical transition for the better which is preventing progress with Yumi and Lillium, I hate where this forum is going which is preventing me from wanting to document my tulpa journey, and this might be my last post for either a long time, or forever. I do want to stay in contact with everybody here though, so feel free to PM me, I'll still lurk the forum and check my messages from time to time, but I'm taking a break from this forum until it truly improves. Wish me luck on my journey guys.


"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

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