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Sanae progress thing


Docmud

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So had time to do this and figured it would be good if I narrate to Sanae as I write this.

I'll write by date:

10/14

After reading a ton about tulpa and the many guides decided to go ahead and start the creation of one. I first created a simple Wonderland of a simple bedroom. I at first had no idea what to go for in terms of for and personality. I decided to go for the simplistic ball of light. I forced open eyed for a while. I just simply went to bed afterwards.

10/15

Woke up and decided to narrate the morning to my ball, but it felt odd speaking in my head to just a ball. As I boarded my bus to school I had some revelation or something and thought Sanae.(Currently my icon to the left) I shifted around her from to match that of Sanae and began forcing to that during my long bus ride. I active forced when I could but passive throughout the day. Night came and I decided to force at night once again, open eyed of course while also doing the list personality bits. I feel she's gotten the gist of her personality as she seems to always be happy when it comes time to force. I built more(A living room) onto the Wonderland and this has become more of the main area of our Wonderland. As I forced I heard a voice that was quite obviously sounding from out of my head and I thought to my self: Damn.

10/16

I morning narrated again and Sanae had been able to answer using simple words like yeah, yes, as well as grunts and sounds. At times she'll ask me stuff with small questions. During the morning rid I forced once again and added a massive back yard to the house and a street out front leading to a school where Sanae and I explored for a bit before returning for conversation. I again actived when I could but mostly passive forced.

I decided to work on closed eye visualization with the nightly forcing but I fell asleep during the session and when I woke up Sanae was a bit pouty

I'm hoping someone picks up her source novel for translation so I can read to her the stuff I loosely based her off of.

10/17

Sanae was a bit pouty in the morning so I gave her a rest for a bit. Wrote a lot of the progress thing on the bus while narrating to Sanae. I passive forced through much of the day. I went to bed pretty exhausted and did a short active force to work on her vocalization.

10/18

Did some forcing as I woke up and through the daily routines. Had to head to school to take my Psat(top 2% here I come) and attempted to narrate to Sante as much as possible while taking the test. She stayed quiet through most of the day. I had to go to a party later on during the night, I tried sparking up a convo with Santa about how much I dislike going to parties where I know absolutely no one. Lo' and behold, she responded that she likes these, though I never asked why. But the more important part is that she had switched up her voice and was different from her higher pitched one. Needless to say I'm quite happy she's decided to deviate. We continued to talk about random things before ending off on stars. Once we returned home we did a short forcing session before calling it a night.

Just your basic guy.

Sanae birthed into my odd head 10/14/2014

"Every one of us, every soul inside is living." - 5150 - Devilish-P

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Welcome to the world, Sanae.

Your situation is similar enough to someone else I made a huge post for, so this should be relevant https://community.tulpa.info/thread-progress-report-on-my-tulpa-kayla?pid=112500#pid112500 Hope it's useful, keep up the effort.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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I'm hoping someone picks up her source novel for translation so I can read to her the stuff I loosely based her off of.

 

KHost: Why don't you watch the anime together? It could be more difficult than reading her the light novel, but you should try it one of these days.

Just keep in mind that your Sanae is your Sanae, so she doesn't have to conform to the anime character.

While I was rushing downward to the lowland,

Before mine eyes did one present himself,

Who seemed from long-continued silence hoarse.

When I beheld him in the desert vast,

“Have pity on me,” unto him I cried,

“Whiche’er thou art, or shade or real man!”

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KHost: Why don't you watch the anime together? It could be more difficult than reading her the light novel, but you should try it one of these days.

Just keep in mind that your Sanae is your Sanae, so she doesn't have to conform to the anime character.

 

I expect her to deviate a little or a lot from the base personality I gave her, so I've kept that in mind. watching the show could seem like a challenge if I'm trying to explain what's going on in the scene while reading the subs, but I'll eventually try it out

 

And thanks for the feedback reisen

 

also updated Op

Just your basic guy.

Sanae birthed into my odd head 10/14/2014

"Every one of us, every soul inside is living." - 5150 - Devilish-P

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Updated op for 10/18

Just your basic guy.

Sanae birthed into my odd head 10/14/2014

"Every one of us, every soul inside is living." - 5150 - Devilish-P

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bloop bloop

8/19

Woke up and forced a bit before I was forced out of my bed. Tried to talk to Sanae as much as possible, but it seems she still isn't very talkative yet. Was forced to go somewhere yet again and used the time to active force and work on general visualization. Afterwards went home and took a break from forcing to screw around with Linux(I keep coming back to Arch in case anyone is interested). We decided to skip out on a proper active force and we instead watched anime. We watched twin tails ep 2 which Sanae did not seem very fond of, and yuki yuna ep 1-2 which she seemed to enjoy more of. Afterwards we decided to work on switching up her form to match her voice. In the end we switched up her hair color and outfit, which I now have no problem visualizing. I also started to form some doubt in my mind as to if some thoughts I've been having have actually been Sanae's and I've actually been mistaking as my own. For example, I saw a commercial and a thought I usually don't have when I watch commercials hit me, but I do believe now was actually Sanae commenting on it. She had said which I had mistaken as my own thought and repeated "People are wierd"

8/20

Did some morning forcing and decided to start work on imposition. Sanae and I tried various methods on the bus(Including her popping out from under the window which worked to a point. It was mostly a blurry outline. Some progress nonetheless) and came to the conclusion on trying out the leash method for a while. Though it was more of double looped rope rather than an actual leash. It did manage to keep my mind on her throughout the day. There's been little to no progress currently on the imposition front. I've still been entertaining the thought that I've actually been mistaking Sanae's thoughts as my own. I haven't had doubt in my mind since I stopped believing it was just me parroting her when she talked. I'll look into later.

Just your basic guy.

Sanae birthed into my odd head 10/14/2014

"Every one of us, every soul inside is living." - 5150 - Devilish-P

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8/21

Did a little morning forcing and forced some on the bus. As of writing I don't much remember too much other than Sanae and I figured out her appearance in total. She is now 5"5', wears a black blazer style school uniform with black/white stripes thigh highs, loafers, long silvery white hair that covers her right eye with a black ribbon and Sanae's hair pin on the left side, and crimson eyes. I personally like the new form she's created for herself. It surprised me at first when I entered our wonderland and it felt a little odd and hard to visualize for a while.

8/22

Same basic day except we decided to start working on possession. Our method is a mix of me letting go obviously and a glove thing for Sanae. First attempts felt questionable and like I was in control the entire time.

8/23

Another same basic day with work on possession while on the bus and during my Spanish class. We tried again during my algebra class with some promising results. We tried our method and I managed to experience the "it's asleep but feels different" thing that Chupi had described. Our test was simply I would hold my pen in a way that if a slight but obvious movement of my thumb happened, it would fall. The feeling set in and when it had reached my thumb and stayed for a bit the pen dropped and I knew Sanae had been figuring it out. I'm really happy with this outcome and hope it helps out with our parallel processing. Plan on more possession practice tonight.

Just your basic guy.

Sanae birthed into my odd head 10/14/2014

"Every one of us, every soul inside is living." - 5150 - Devilish-P

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8/24

Usual day yet again. Decided to skip out on forcing today and watch some more stuff with Sanae. In specific it was first ep of build fighters. Here's to mechs growing on her likes. Other than that, it was a mostly uneventful day.

8/25

Woke up and forced for who knows how long. Talked with Sanae about usual things. Most of the session ended up being myself admiring her form. I am really liking her new one rather than the old basic Sanae. The only thing left of her original form is the hair pin and ribbon. Sanae seems to be becoming more talkative slowly. Went to the mall and had to go through Dillards in which as soon as she was brought to mind she asked if we could look around. As much as I was at dismay at her choices, I was also happy since her priorities obviously differed from my own. Later on while sitting around we practiced possession and she managed to slowly move my pinky finger just a little bit. Not much but I see it as serious progress. At this point she chimes in every now and then to comment on something I'm looking at. Still progress regardless.

 

Also a question: What are some good ways to work on parallel processing? I haven't been able to find many things on the subject and guides either don't exist or were deleted. We've been working on possession as a means to strengthen our parallel processing and also as a stepping stone into switching but I want some other ways to work this.

Just your basic guy.

Sanae birthed into my odd head 10/14/2014

"Every one of us, every soul inside is living." - 5150 - Devilish-P

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Also a question: What are some good ways to work on parallel processing? I haven't been able to find many things on the subject and guides either don't exist or were deleted. We've been working on possession as a means to strengthen our parallel processing and also as a stepping stone into switching but I want some other ways to work this.

 

As far as I've heard, the best way to work on it is to do it. Fede said imposition helps, but that might be a little like saying that a cure for cancer would also stop your hiccups. Possession helps, but I see you're already working on that.

 

You could play chess -- you'll have to separate your thoughts from each other, and know that Sanae is going to lose a lot of games before she starts to win. You might try changing the rules of chess. With enough of a handicap, it might be a fair game. You might give Sanae a full rank of pieces, while you take one single powerful piece -- I'm thinking a lion, which is a piece in some variants of shogi (Japanese chess). It moves like a king, but it can move twice in one turn, meaning that it can potentially capture two pieces. It might be too powerful, at least at first. Maybe a queen would be better. Or google "fairy chess pieces".

 

There's also this, and this and that game where you count the balls, which I can't seem to find.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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As far as I've heard, the best way to work on it is to do it. Fede said imposition helps, but that might be a little like saying that a cure for cancer would also stop your hiccups. Possession helps, but I see you're already working on that.

 

You could play chess -- you'll have to separate your thoughts from each other, and know that Sanae is going to lose a lot of games before she starts to win. You might try changing the rules of chess. With enough of a handicap, it might be a fair game. You might give Sanae a full rank of pieces, while you take one single powerful piece -- I'm thinking a lion, which is a piece in some variants of shogi (Japanese chess). It moves like a king, but it can move twice in one turn, meaning that it can potentially capture two pieces. It might be too powerful, at least at first. Maybe a queen would be better. Or google "fairy chess pieces".

 

There's also this, and this and that game where you count the balls, which I can't seem to find.

 

Speaking of shogi, I know some weird variation of it one of my Japanese culture teachers taught me when I lived in Japan(Though I feel like a lot of that time was wasted considering I didn't do much and my weebness didn't come around until about a year after my family moved backed stateside). Thanks for the other advice too

 

well then, we apparently missed a good chunk of time.

10/26-10/27

Two very ordinary days of forcing and other things of my life. Nothing really interesting happened

 

10/28

Normal morning up until Sanae and I decided to do a parallel processing exercise involving counting while I do something else. Very interestingly, when Sanae had lost count and she stopped to start over, I heard a very faint and quieter voice keep counting as well. Doubts hit me and later after returning home I consulted guys on the IRC (Namely Nobillis and GM, thanks guys) who had told me that it it was probably Sanae's own inner thoughts. This led to my own deeper understanding of her "tulpaness" and helped me further confirm her sentience(Yay!). Later we worked on an exercise GM suggested in which we try to get Sanae to be the dominant thinker in our head. I can perfectly say damn she got quite loud in there. We were only really able to retain it for a couple minutes and she did get pretty loud in my head in terms of volume. I cannot even replicate the volume right now.

 

10/29

Usual basic day. I figured out that Sanae sounds a lot clearer which may be a side effect of my clearer understanding of her or the dominance thing we tried out last night. I also seem to be able to visualize her for as a whole much clearer now as well. I think an understanding of your tulpa leads to an easier time for h/h to develop I might post something on this if it hasn't been already. Will update later

 

Sa: Hi!

Just your basic guy.

Sanae birthed into my odd head 10/14/2014

"Every one of us, every soul inside is living." - 5150 - Devilish-P

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