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19th Nov

 

No possession yesterday. At least we tried but we just weren't into it. But it went better today. I remembered to do it around late morning and at first, I just felt like ugh... can't do this. But I discovered a really handy exercise to do is to imagine, inside my head, Giovanni was talking to someone I knew whilst possessing me. First it was a conversation between him and my psychology teacher explaining to him about tulpas and how Giovanni was fronting, then it was a friend of mine. Imagining Giovanni interacting with others made the fronting feel more natural/realistic. I am a person of few words, but it worked. And it was much more effective than discerning between my mindvoice and Giovanni's mindvoice, because I can't get confused between Giovanni's voice and someone else's.

 

Another little note; I wonder if during possession, Giovanni would dress differently to me. He certainly seemed more comfortable in trousers during Sixth Form Taster Day today. We could make a comparison over the weekends. One day with Giovanni fronting and one day without. Also, for anyone to use (it's more suitable for humanoid tulpas) I quickly put this profile together. Fill in what you can if you wish to use it.

 

[b]Identity[/b]

Name:
Age:
Gender:
Birthday:
Star sign:

[b]Impression[/b]

Eye colour:
Hair colour:
Dominant side: (left/right handed, footed, etc)
Native language:
Accent:
Accessories:
Body modifications: (tattoos, scars)
Height:
Build: (slim, skinny, lean, muscular, etc)
Face shape:
Facial features: (freckles, etc)
Skin colour:

[b]Personality[/b]

MBTI:
D&D alignment:
Fears:
Desires:
Likes:
Dislikes:
Positive traits: 
Negative traits: 
Habits:

[b]Preferences[/b]

Number:
Colour:
Song:
Movie:
Time of day:
Season:
Book:
Weather:
Drink:
Food:
Animal:
Place:
Activity:
Person:
Phrase/Quote:

 

I think I'll make a poll to see how many people do or have tried possession. I'm curious to see how many of you dare to experiment.

 

A few questions. Can tulpas be alter egos? Can alter egos be tulpas? Are they alike or different, and it is good to use your tulpa to help you achieve what you would normally not be able to achieve.

 

What I mean by that is, can tulpas help us overcome fear and anxiety through possession? If I were afraid of something, would I be able to eradicate that fear by allowing Giovanni to step in?

 

I believe using tulpas is quite a controversial subject. That is, how much should we rely on them or, to be indelicate, use them to benefit us? And would it work?

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Unfortunately, yesterday I was ill, and conversation between Giovanni and I was scarce. I worked on a new story pretty much from dawn to dusk, and though I haven't yet thought of a title for it (you probably noticed already I'm bad with titles, haha) I have reached 59 A5 pages in less than a week, which is quite impressive considering my free time is limited.

 

Sometimes I'll sit in front of the laptop and write for days on end, and I immerse myself so deeply into the story, I'll suddenly look up from the screen and get a little confused as to what the hell I'm doing in my tiny, cramped study. Ah, the life of a writer. It's often the same when I get the urge to make pages and pages of sketches.

 

Today, on the 21st of November, Giovanni did have a few goes at fronting. We decided to just... free-style it, if you like? and drop the "I am Near, I relinquish control" and "I am Giovanni, I take control". So his personality could be at play anytime he wished, and we could see if we could spot when 'I' was behaving more like Giovanni than myself.

 

It did happen a few times. 'I' would say something Giovanni would say, or behave in a way that he would. The differences were not very distinctive, but I thought he definitely stepped in a couple of times. Such as, I couldn't help but be my sarcastic, witty self :P when around my close friends. And when I wasn't, I would take on Giovanni's quiet indifference and devil-may-care attitude.

 

Meanwhile, I have come up with a few theories:

A male tulpa will be less willing/likely to front or more dormant, or their personality will not be expressed as much, when...

• Their female host is wearing 'feminine' clothes

• Their female host is menstruating

• Their host (male or female) is sick, or mentally or physically weak.

 

These ideas crossed me due to experiences in the past week. Feel free to comment. Come out, come out, ye lurkers.

 

A few activities I thought I could do:

In regards to Giovanni's ability to front depending on what clothes I wear, the weekends are a little too short to really compare that. The Christmas holidays begin on the 18th of December for me, I believe. Perhaps I could try alternating between my personality and Giovanni's every week, although I do question the reliability of my wardrobe in this... investigation. My collection of clothes does not vary very much.

 

Secondly, as a pastime, I thought to allow Giovanni to develop his own handwriting (another way of reinforcing who's fronting and who isn't). We have committed very little time to this so far. Initially, I imagined him to have scrawling, messy or spiky handwriting which differs from my neater handwriting, but despite that there is not a lot of difference I recognise so far.

 

Looking back on what I initially intended to do (what with the Sherlock Holmes map an' all) it seems I've taken a very different turn on my... tulpamantic journey. Still, it's interesting, and I feel more willing to do this than interact with Giovanni in-world.

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