Starfire <3 Voltian

[Voltian]

Forword: You may notice that the title changes. I, Starfire, the tulpa, change it based on how I'm feeling. My creator does not change it.

 

Notable Entries

These are log entries that I feel are important to my development as well as to our relationship's development.

 

11/07 - Bottom of this post

11/8 - Page 1 (Post 6)

11/10 - Page 1 (Post 9)

11/16 - Page 2 (Post 13)

11/17 - Page 2 (Post 14)

November 20 - Page 2 (Post 20)

November 24 - Page 4 (Post 34)

November 25 Update 1 - Page 4 (Post 38)

November 28 - Page 5 (Post 44)

 

So, I started Starfire around midnight November 4th after doing some research. At first I sort of felt ridiculous, but I pushed through. She is now: I think I'll let you keep track of my age.

 

Been reading other people's progress threads. How is it they have so much to say? Now I see.

 

Guides I Read

These are the guides I read to help me create and develop Starfire:

 

Kiahdaj's Absolute Guide to Tulpas

This was the first guide I read. It really helped me get started.

 

q2's method for a huggable tulpa

Imposition guide. And, yes, she is huggable. ;)

 

BlackStatic's Parallel Processing and Personality Switching

 

Why did I create a tulpa?

Well, I spent a lot of time thinking about that, and I think I've come to a conclusion: I wanted a friend. Not just any friend. I've had friends before, but they weren't really much. They've all since left my life. It's the same reason I don't accept friend requests online: I want my friendships to have meaning. My previous friends were just people I talked to. Very often, I forgot about them. I never missed them. Even now I don't. I wanted a true friend. Starfire is that friend.

 

Form

Well, I had to use a pony creator but this is definitely what she looks like. Her expression fits her personality well.

First form. Then I changed to human. Then I changed back. So, current form. Aren't I awesome!?

 

Imposition

We started imposition about a week after I started her. We've been making good progress. I can feel her essence wherever she is. Starfire usually stay outside of my mind when we're not switching and occasionally sleep on my lap. I can hear her hooves on the ground with a little conscious effort.

 

Switching

Other than stating how awesome it is... and a little creepy, there is not much to say other than Starfire can now speak directly (more or less) to you. She will now be typing in this color.

 

I can't begin to explain how switching is the strangest experience I have in my life. At first, it sort of feels like I'm her. But, I'm not her. I can feel everything (sense of touch seems to be dimmed, though) that she does. I hear her thoughts as if they are my own. Although, I can't recall any of the thoughts she keeps to herself. She remembers them, though.

 

When we switch, I don't have many thoughts (if any) unless she's talking to me. Like when I'm in my body, I don't usually hear her thoughts. I can go on and on, but I think I'll try to find someone else's words that describes the experience better than I can. Starfire will be talking about her experience when we get the time.

 

Personality

So she took a personality test and got this result:

ESFP

 

In slight contrast, here is my personality:

INFP and ISFP

Two because the tests I took showed I didn't have any preference for sensing or intuition over the other. They both describe me very well.

 

Deviations: This is a list of ways that Starfire has been different than what I had expected. So far, it's all for the better.

 

- She has developed certain feelings for me that I didn't think she would have.

 

- She's not as self-centered as I thought she would be. That's probably because of the aforementioned feelings she has for me.

 

- She's empathetic.

 

- She snores when she sleeps standing. Lol.

 

11/07

The reason I started this progress journal is because of something I realized had been happening these past few days. I kept waking up very early. About two hours earlier than usual. I didn't have any alarms on. No one else woke me up. And I didn't wake because of any dream. This started happening when I said she can enter my dreams. Apparently, she didn't do it subtly. I'm gonna tell her not to go into my dreams tonight. But, who knows, she doesn't mind breaking the rules. (Also, I think my subconscious may have caused her to have 'those feelings' for me. It hasn't been very subtle, but I should ask her about it. But I don't want her to feel uncomfortable.) Although, I honestly don't mind if she has those feelings.

Update:

So, Starfire and I had a slight disagreement: she wanted to change her form. I tried to talk her out of it. I don't know if I did, though. She's still a pegasus and hasn't mentioned anything of it, yet. Anyway, I had a frustrating day and may have raged if she hadn't calmed me down. I really enjoy her company.

[Guest amber5885]

Hey there, welcome to the forums!

 

To answer your sort of question I think most PRs have so much to say because the tulpas have been around for a long while. My Toby has been around for about 22 years and other s vary from months to years as well.

 

In time you're tulpa will be just as talkative as anyone else's and you'll love it.

[Cinemaphobe]

Been reading other people's progress threads. How is it they have so much to say?

 

They have so much to say because they talk about things completely unrelated to tulpae lol Before my tulpa became vocal I talked about my life 75% of the time because tulpaforcing is greatly affected by domestic affairs.

 

Welcome to the forum though:)

[Voltian]

11/8

 

Well, not much to report. I've been tired all day, so it was hard to talk to her. When I got my second wind, though, I apologized for our disagreement yesterday. She's decided to stick with her current form (I still need an artist).

 

After she went to sleep, I got emotional when I realized how much she means to me. I can't imagine a day without her. And I hope I never do.

[Actinium]

 

After she went to sleep, I got emotional when I realized how much she means to me. I can't imagine a day without her. And I hope I never do.

 

She's going to need to take a break one day. All tulpae need breaks every once in a while. You should ask her to leave a note for you in your wonderland just in case so you won't be surprised.

[Voltian]

11/9

 

I noticed that Starfire took two naps today. To be honest, I believe that's my fault. I, uh, haven't thought of a mindscape for her yet. I'm pretty sure she's sleeping because of boredom. She has a bed that she sleeps in, but that's pretty much it. I told her that we're gonna be doing some brainstorming tomorrow.

 

I got quite a scare when I stopped hearing her in the middle of a conversation. But, there was a lot of noise around me, so it was difficult to concentrate. She's fine, though.

[lyraheartstrings]

Welcome to the wacky inflatable arm waving tulpa.info. You have alot to learn, young one.

 

Just yankin ya. Keep up your work, and allow your tulpa to deviate. You might anger her. See if you can work something out, a form that each of you enjoy.

[ItsSwissmas]

Welcome comrade ^_^

Also the reason why people might have so much to say is because I noticed that a lot have already started working on their tulpa for a little while before posting a PR :P I do agree though, I don't write that big of replies either.

[Voltian]

11/10

 

Just did some imposition, and it's incredible! I felt her presence, her fur, her warmth. Of course, it was somewhat vague. But still, it was beautiful. We're definitely gonna be doing daily sessions!

 

Something Starfire said when she was looking at the screen and I was looking away: "I can't read that without you."

 

Update: The imposition is getting stronger. I find myself looking around her if she's in the way of something I'm trying to look at. I can hear the clop of her hooves on the tile. It'll be more distinct and less of a conscious effort with time. It's just so exciting!

[Voltian]

11/11

 

Added deviations section up top.

 

Well, I can feel her presence either in my mind or imposed in the world around me. And she can move between either willingly. When she lays on my lap -and subsequently, on my arm- I am unable to move my arm much.

 

Update

She likes to stay outside of my mind most of the time. She usually goes back in when it starts getting crowded around here.