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Tupplenaw

And so it begins...

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I'm not going to make this a whole big introduction, but hi there, I'm Tupplenaw.

 

If your wondering where I got my username from, so am I :p.

 

But basically, this is my little blog thing/progress report. I've been lurking the forums for a loooong time now, and then I thought "why fill up on all this knowledge and not use it?" After a while of forcing, I didn't see any real progress, so I kind of gave up. Funny story, I actually started said tulpa on January 1st, 2013 after staying up all night on new years. But seeing as that was a long time ago, I decided to make a new tulpa! So I made this account to tell the stories and what not of my tulpa adventures!

 

However though, I am at quite a predicament. The first tulpa I attempted was basically the perfect tulpa for me, and I really loved the visuals I gave her. But it would be weird taking the same form (which I remember to an extent) and slapping a new label on it, calling it a different product. I've read stories about people forgetting about their tulpas, sometimes half complete, and then having complications in the future because of it. I don't want to start anything in my mind by using the same form, but I really can't imagine a form as good as before. But as for now, it is 2:37 AM and I woke up at six this morning.

 

See ya later!


"Well maybe its just because you're ugly!" Patrick Star, 2000

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Guest Anonymous

Hi there! Welcome to the forums tupplenaw. i'm looking forward to seeing your guises progress. i'm glad you decided to give it another shot. however, have you considered instead of making a whole other tupper, to just bring back your old one? no matter how lang a tupper has been forgotten it can be brought back. several people have done this with no problems. the worst that could happen is your tulpa could be a little mad at you for leaving them, but they'l understand, tuppers are some of the most understanding beings in the world. also, this may bring you greater progress. i had a friend who started to make a tulpa but it only lasted a day, and obviously had no progress. a couple months later she brought them back and they were fully vocal and a week later possessed her hand to draw a picture. if you make a new tupper, be aware that your old tupper will never leave. it cant. though you may not notice it there, it will remain there and you can bring it back at any time.

 

i just wanted you to be aware of the options and consequences. whatever you do now is up you you. good luck!

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I would agree with Lilly. If you have started the tulpa chances are that the old tulpa is still there. Even if you just started with the old tulpa and gave up, there is still a chance that it is there. I would recommend forcing the old tulpa and forcing the new tulpa later in your 'tulpa career'.

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Hmm. I never really thought of that as a possibility. Anyways, thats good news because I've been lazy and haven't been forcing at all. Whoops.

 

I guess I should start tonight and make some progress. Time to resurect a long lost companion :D.

 

I should mention though that although there was no confirmed sentience, I feel as if I could sense her awareness in my mind, like that weird feeling you get when you think you're being watched. However, though I do have an OCDish problem where my mind does the exact opposite of what I want it to do, like when you remember something scary you saw and you try to push it away but it keeps coming back, but worse than normal. I remember this did hinder forcing a little before. The reason I brought that up though, is that my brain just seems to want to address her, my tulpa, and im not sure I want to do that just yet. After I post this, though, I shall break the radio silence, so to speak and return to forcing.

 

Yes, I am a little concerned of what this might become. I have read many things about tulpas (tulpae?) becoming abusive and just messing with their host's brain. I'm already mentally unstable enough, I basically have a heart attack when someone I don't know addresses me (not really, but it feels like it). I have also attempted suicide before, after quitting my tulpa, so that might mess a few things up. But don't worry, I'm probably fine now :D.

 

But after I post this, the forcing gets real...see you on the other side!

 

EDIT: its been 10 minutes, and that time has been spend saying "I can do this" and "cmon do it already" in my head. I don't know why I'm so anxious for this. But I guess I should start with an apology for abandoning her.


"Well maybe its just because you're ugly!" Patrick Star, 2000

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Alrighty then!

 

Just got done with the thing I was doing, and a few interesting things happened.

 

I started with this real long apology, explaining that I am a terrible person and how sorry I am. But every time I said her name, it felt like my brain was melting into pure adrenaline. The whole thing was quite remorseful, and I got a bit teary eyed at the end ;-;. But after that, I just started narrating about everything thats changed in the past year, when I suddenly realize I was twirling my hair with my finger! I havent done that in quite a while, and me suddenly doing that in the middle of narrating might mean something.

 

Aaaanyways, after that, I worked on visualization for like 5 seconds. I went a little something like this:

 

Me: you wanna work on some visuals?

*no response*

Me: visualization it is! Now I don't really remember you too well, so I might make some changes OK?

*no response*

Me: OK thanks. Now instead of your hair being all down like that, how about we put it in a pony tail?

*no response*

Me: OK fine I'll do this tomorrow.

 

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Anyways, I'm probably going to spent some time browsing the forums and such, maybe narrating on the way.

 

I vowed to her that I would spend less time sitting at my computer and more time with her. I will of course update my blog, but on Monday, thanksgiving break ends, and that means school! >:(. But anyways, see ya tomorrow!


"Well maybe its just because you're ugly!" Patrick Star, 2000

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Worked on narration and passive forcing throughout the day.

 

Its funny, I haven't gotten any signs or anything from her about anything since last night. Not that I expect anything too crazy to happen, but ehh. Tonight I'm going to work on some visualization in my wonderland.

 

My wonderland is basically a small island with beaches and a thick pine/redwood forest inland. There's a big rock formation on the coast that ends on a cliff, and on it stands a lighthouse. Next to the cliff is a small dock with a wooden dinghy moored to it. There are always dark rain clouds and a cold breeze blowing, and the air smells on sea salt and you can hear seagulls call and the small waves break. Inland, the forest inclines on a small hill and on top you can see the coast on all directions. You can smell the fresh pine and the earth. Its a pretty nice place, but I haven't implemented any housing of sorts, except the lighthouse. It is a very comforting place for me, especially on the coast. I should work on the living space soon, though, because its a bit cold there.

 

Right, so visualization tonight.


"Well maybe its just because you're ugly!" Patrick Star, 2000

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Don't expect a response too early, yet still listen for one. I suggest making a room in your wonderland with no distactions, maybe only 2 chairs in an infinite white landscape. This will allow you to listen for any responses and if they move you can see! Its also a great place to force.

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"maybe only 2 chairs in an infinite white landscape."

I think I made quite a cool thing pertaining to that.

 

Basically, theres a cave in that cliff I was talking about, and when you go in it, you walk through a nice little portal thing and you get taken to a blank white room with two wooden chairs and the portal behind one of the chairs.

 

It seems I broke my vow and played Insurgency all day :c.

I gotta make that up tonight with vast amounts of forcing in mai new cave room thing!

Before, I didn't force in a wonderland, and that might explain why progress seemed so slow.

 

Haven't even done any real forcing today but narrating passively.

 

gg


"Well maybe its just because you're ugly!" Patrick Star, 2000

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>be me

>be it 4 in the morning

>trying to force

>be clinging my head because of headache

>no progress

>then spaghetti fell out of my pocket


"Well maybe its just because you're ugly!" Patrick Star, 2000

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When I think of white realms, I always imagine a mysterious mist, like the mists of eternity. And light that is everywhere at once, no particular source.


Chance, an anthro husky, wolf or fox.

Birthdate September 20, 2014.

Sentient October 1, 2014.

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