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Aggressive thoughts


DarthDjoba

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That's a problem i always had with my mind since i was young.

I have aleatory impulsive aggressive thoughts, no matter what person is around me.

I NEVER had my actions changed or influenced by these thoughts, but now that i want to create my tulpa this problem came to me again.

 

I'll exemplify: i'm making my bread in the kitchen with my father, i took the knife and start cutting it. Then suddenly came to my mind the scene when i stab my father and i saw all detailed gore in my mind (all this thought in a fraction of seconds and then disappear)

Or i'm brushing my teeth with my friend, and suddenly came again to my mind i spitting in his face and his exactly reaction.

BUT I NEVER got my actions changed by these thoughts, they just appear for a fraction of second and then disappear and i just ignore it.

 

So, let's get to the Tulpa. I was forcing yesterday and i got in a point were she asked to hug me. She was at my side and it was very comfortable. Then suddenly the aggressive thought invaded my mind and i slapped her face for a microsecond, but it was sufficient to start a bad experience with this forcing section.

I apologize to her, but for some seconds after that, it seems that the aggressive thought invaded her, i saw her form changing to an aggressive and feral form for again, a fraction of second, and changing back, then i got her under control and hugged her again. This was the only time it happened.

 

What do you guys think? I should search for a psychologist?

This is NOT a problem that originates with my Tulpa, it's a psycologic problem i have.

 

Sorry for my english, i don't speak it very well.

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Almost everyone has intrusive thoughts, but some people get them more than others. I don't think you need to see a psychologist unless you act on these thoughts. As long as you haven't really stabbed your father, I think you're fine.

 

Just explain what's going on to your tulpa. Let her know that you don't mean her harm, and she should be understanding about it.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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I have almost the same problem and I do not think it is okay. Not so long ago I thought about appointment with the psychologist too, but I do not think that it is already necessary for me (and at the same time I understand that it could be helpful).

Here are some tricks that help me to avoid agressive and strange thougts:

- if you found yourself thinking about violence or agressive things try to think about something good (it is very hard at the first time, but it will be a nice habit that will teach you to fastly switch strange thoughts).

- try to avoid films/games/e.t.c. that show agressive scenes or scenes of violence (from time to time these things can surface from memory while you're doing usual things and it can be very unpleasantly).

- explain your tulpa that you really didn't want to hurt her.

At least you really should to search a psychologist if this problem disturb you to live without distasteful moments, but you can skip it if you don't fell yourself uncomfortable.

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I had some of these thoughts too and i still having some. It came that my tulpa wanted to kill me with a knive and we didnt know where it came from. It was always the same scene, she hugged me and then tried to cut throught my hearts. It wasnt normal for her, becuse she loves me but we found the reason for this in a memory of my childhood and then destroyed it. I still have some bad thoughts and sometimes i think she still wants the knive in my heart, but we started making jokes about it, like she put out a big knive and than...shave my beard. It helped me alot and know we are just laughing about it. For these thoughts i would also recommend a bit meditation, i think its possible to affect these thoughts into someting less aggressive ones.

Lacie(my tulpa for my everydaylife and also my best friend)

 

Noah together with Lynn are my spirituell tulpa´s im using for meditation

 

Darcmanish Me

 

Lacie´s and my progress report.

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I remember Eva used to joke around with the knife thing in the kitchen, and how if we ever switched, she would also say things that would be completely abnormal for me. But sometimes it's just our fears becoming real to us because we were in a suggestive state of being to let them follow through. Even perverse thoughts may come up, and all sorts of maelstrom of random thoughts; I think when you try to be aware of things you're typically not paying attention to, it's just about learning how to embrace all those thoughts, and having the assurance that you're the one that makes the conscious decision to follow through on them, or not.

 

That same ability to reign in your sense of rationalizing and filtering out what influences you, or not to act can be another concept you could believe your tulpa has, i.e., being able to know who she is despite of the rush of random and transient, fleeting thoughts in your head.

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I think I can understand your problem, DarthDjoba. It's harder to master these thoughts when it comes to relations with tulpa. I mean, when you have these intrusive thoughts about your father you can easily distinguish them from what's really happening. When you have them about your tulpa they actually happen in your mind and your tulpa can feel them. So I would suggest to separate thoughts on "conscious" and "unconscious"; maybe this way you won't have to take full responsibility for intrusive ones. But that would be only the beginning, as you would lose some of the guilt trip (so bad emotions).

 

Beside that I support the idea of talking it over with tulpa, meditation and, let's say, "self-repair". However, if you can't handle it yourself, visiting psychologist is a good idea.

Tulpas:

Ro Tembrin (tool): logic and tease, designs solutions.

Caelum (muse): feeling and faith, creates impressions.

 

Our blog: http://inthesystem.tumblr.com

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Oh! Hey! I used to have intrusive thoughts a few times every day, so I know *exactly* where you're coming from. They've completely gone away now (not sure what happened). I used to call them my "bad thoughts." I remember going to my therapist (I went to her for a totally different reason, though) and trying to explain them, but of course she said that everyone has bad thoughts.

 

People who haven't had to go through intrusive thoughts (or at least study it) probably won't understand that, no, not everyone has these kinds of images. They're a lot different from what they picture when they think about killing someone rather suddenly. I can picture that, too, but it's nowhere near like one of the "bad thoughts."

 

They were never (or at least I don't ever remember them) me being aggressive, though; it was always someone else, or perhaps a tree branch would knock into the window and a large enough piece would lodge in my dad's skull, or the car driving by would decide to run over my dog, or whatever.

 

Glad I know the name for this now. @.@

 

Anyway, as someone else has already said, you should explain this to your tulpa. Stress that you don't mean ANYTHING by it and that you don't have any control. See if she can help you out in any way. If she can, it's unlikely to be an immediate thing, but instead will happen over time (probably). Perhaps you should force it to her--you know, like how one would do with their tulpa's personality. I did the same thing to James when I started to have the, "I wonder if he'll ever snap and I'll have to kill him?" thoughts. He knows it's all just bull shit and won't ever happen, and so do I.

 

I feel like you already know this, but you should also try the steps to getting rid of intrusive thoughts here, and *don't* give up. Meditation itself is unlikely to do anything to help you because it's meditation, but it will help because of the breathing exercise and whatnot.

 

http://www.drmartinseif.com/resources/intrusive-thoughts.html

James: Hello, all!

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