Jump to content

Old Tulpa, new Tulpist.


Toolbox

Recommended Posts

Definitely think drawing is rather helpful. Actually, if you're aiming for better visualization/imposition, I think drawing is one of the most effective means of forcing.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 35
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

I agree with Sushi.

In fact, my tulpas are based on random anime artwork on the internet and having that artwork as a concrete reference makes visualization and imposition much easier.

 

Thank you for elaborating on your life Toolbox. You have satisfied my curiosity, and I can relate to the feeling you had when you kept failing. The difference between you and I might be that I would have just thrown the welding equipment to the ground and casually walked away. The fact that you managed to stay for over 3 hours of hell is impressive.

 

Good job.

 

 

 

 

When my tulpa (Yumi) was first becoming vocal, there were plenty of times when I could only remember the number of syllables she said and had to deduce what she said based on the context. You are not alone on that note.

 

 

Oh and about the problems with double-speaking, and Hitamashii's location. I have a nagging feeling that him saying two conflicting things at once is actually just him speaking it extremely quickly. So quickly in fact that it appears to be occurring simultaneously. The same can be said about Hitamashii being at two locations at once. Maybe he is just processing and acting so sporadically that it appears as if he is duplicating himself.

 

A symbolic way to fix the problem could be to imagine Hitamashii as a clock, or to imagine a clock over his head. Imagine that the regular behaviors he has been exhibiting result in the clock's hands spinning so rapidly that they blurred. Now try to gradually slow down the hands of the clock with your mind until they become visible. Focus on the clock going extremely slowly, and focus on the saccadic movement of the Second hand. Try assuring Hitamashii to match the constant rate in which time progresses, and reminding him that it is okay to slow down.

 

Hopefully it'll work. It would be appreciated if you posted results of your attempts at it. If his sporadic nature isn't the problem, then I recommend not attempting my symbolism. However I strongly believe that the speed in which he acts is the culprit.

 

 

Good luck on your journey as well! I'm glad that you are the type to acknowledge people like Sushi and I because we can provide you with invaluable advice along your journey.

"Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative."

 

Yumi + Cinema

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you very much for the comments. They make me feel a lot less-... Inadequate. X) Other people (outside of these message boards) have just made me feel weak about the stress in that class.

 

Hardly related to any of anything, but I just started heating up some green chili, earlier. After the first period of microwaving, it was rather close to the edges of the bowl, so I determined that I'd have to eat a little of it before it was fully heated to make sure it wouldn't spill over. Hita expressed concern that it'd be too cold.

 

So, I took a bite, she asked if it was indeed cold, and I told her "it is a bit chilly". She responded with "har, har, har," and it took me a bit before I realized the unintentional pun. So, that's reassuring, she's able to process that I made a joke before I am. X)

 

I've not had much luck thus far with the clock thing, but the sporadic personality does make sense as an explanation. Yesterday, she ended up waiting in the car passenger seat as I was walking out to the car, and then she warped out just to hop back in because she wanted to have that movement.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just got back from a visit to "Transworld", a special-effects/Halloween convention. Lots of neat stuff there, and Hita seemed to enjoy herself, as well.

 

Lately, when playing games with any kind of "pet" class, Hita drives me to use that class and make the pet into her. :P It's kinda fun, actually, and kinda makes me feel a bit more connected. She'll chide me if I allow the pet to go down, leave it behind, or whatever else of that kind, but refuses to take responsibility when the inevitable boneheaded AI that exists in all games gets in the way. ;)

 

I drew the previously-mentioned picture before leaving, and a new one on the way there. The new one was looking alright until I added the diamonds on her underbelly. :( It was also drawn in the car, so it's a bit more rough. Anyway, I figured out how to get my scanner working again, so here they are.

 

Yb3NVbZ.jpg

u3Zc7Jh.jpg

 

Again, I'm not an artist. X)

 

The wings changed again a little bit since the picture I put in the original post. We'd been finding that her wing movements were a bit awkward when she was using them as arms, due to the lack of an elbow, so we made that little dip in her wings to make things look a little more natural when she was moving.

 

EDIT: Resized the images, they were a bit big.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another day, another concern. :P

 

The multi-Hita problem hasn't been terribly prominent lately, but that's largely because I've been in a bit of a down state that has gotten in the way of my drive to visualize her or acknowledge her position. So, can't give news on whether or not the clock thing will work, yet.

 

Now, what makes me concerned, and this is something that's been happening for a while... If I hear Hita say something, but can't make it out the first time, and ask her to repeat it, she'll often have forgotten what she'd said. Basically like how the mind normally functions, where you have some fleeting thought that you can't recall even though it just came to you a split second ago. Have others experienced this with their Tulpas?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Been quite some time. There hasn't been much to say, that's my excuse. But, lastnight, I had a very boring "real life" dream where I was going to drive home from college, and Hita wanted to sit on my lap on the way back. Unfortunately, even in the dream, she was as she is now: simply knowledge. Knowing she's there, but in reality, seeing nothing. :( I was hoping that dream-appearances would give her a form. I wonder if I've gotten too used to thinking of her as a "ghost" of sorts.

 

Outside of Tulpa stuff, I've finally gotten on antidepressants... They help a little bit during times of "peace", but as soon as anything goes wrong or just becomes a little difficult, the effects wane and I again have to struggle to keep from shutting down. The dosage has been increased twice now, and though I'm doing alright so far after one night of this new highest dosage, I'm admittedly rather apprehensive about whether or not it will persist. Unfortunately, just as with Tulpas, I have the feeling that the unbidden assumption that it isn't working (or, rather, that I'm building an immunity or something) is a big reason for its lack of effectiveness.

 

I'm trying to take other measures to fight off the depression, largely based around exercising happiness. I just have to take as many steps as I can towards that whenever I have the drive and willpower to do so.

 

Hita's still trying very hard to help me through it, herself, but generic "you're doing great"s and "keep at it"s can only go so far, I'm afraid. I don't think she's quite developed enough to manage big inspiring speeches... Or, it could just be that I'M the problem, not listening to her well enough or taking her words to heart.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...