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Tulpa romance??


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There's no lying involved, just me being me, my host being my host. It's only a problem if we don't manage our time well, which we are perfectly capable of.

 

Dutch: I'm pretty sure it's rape to force me to be with whatever person Yuki likes.

Feel free to ask me anything.

Suffering is self-imposed. Don't let it control you.

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Tulpa relationships with others outside of the host's body are complicated. It's up to everyone involved (as in tulpa(s), host, the other human and any tulpa(s) they have) on whether or not they're okay with it or think it'll work. Much the same as how open relationships (non-monogamous) work. Everyone needs to be in agreement or it doesn't happen. And it's certainly not for everybody. But for those who it is, it's up to them and any possible partners to decide, not any uninterested, unrelated party.

Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.

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These are great thoughts! I had my own idea for Gaelles' problem, but I barely gave a 'switching relationship' a second thought. Looking at it this way, I can see it as a possible solution. Though, I'm still troubled...

 

Much to what Glitchthe3rd and Bunny-boi-Lover were saying, there is the troubling aspect of switching every time that certain person comes around. True, if I were to have a similar passion towards that person, there wouldn't be too much complication. But I already have someone very special to me, and she's the one who helped bring Gaelles into this world. Eris (my special someone) is the other person who created Gaelles, as such he see's her as a mother figure and definitely not a potential lover! So it's not as though both of us having the same girl would really work.

 

And then there's the simple matter that the day Gaelles decides he likes a particular girl, that I she and I might already know each other, including my personality. If I'm suddenly having "mood swings" between really liking her and not liking her at all, it makes things... complicated...

 

As I suspected, this definately is a topic full of questions, ahahaha.

If the world insists on changing you, it's only natural to insist on changing the world.

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Tulpa-Host romance is not only normal, it's talked about on the forum and on the IRC. I'm not sure how you missed this. I'd say that's more common than talking about your tulpa sex doll.

My lip hurts.

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Tulpa-Host romance is not only normal, it's talked about on the forum and on the IRC. I'm not sure how you missed this. I'd say that's more common than talking about your tulpa sex doll.

 

I wasn't talking about 'Tulpa-Host' romance, I was talking about 'Tulpa-Other than Host' romance. It's similar but a bit different, so forgive me for the misunderstanding.

If the world insists on changing you, it's only natural to insist on changing the world.

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@Hail/Tri: I loved hearing your full story. Obviously all these problems can be figured out.

 

@Yuki: Yeah i do have the right to go off and have my own relationship; my host is fine at fading to the background. But it would be weird to end up with some life where i got the happy home life and my host was stuck just having the day job for his time.

 

In general i like the idea of dating another plural system, but there's only eight thousand tulpamancers on Reddit compared to the millions of singlets who live in our city. It sounds like we'd have better luck just explaining my existence to a neurotypical person.

 

I guess i end up thinking polyamory because i like conversation more when we're both involved. Whatever the meatship is doing, we're both here and having our reactions so it would be nice to be respected for that. We can each contribute individually and smoothly co-operate as a team. It would just be fulfilling to be accepted as plural system working as one.

Early member of a large system.  Our system questions the way the afterlife and tulpamancy interact.  We genuinely suspect that deadies can return to share the mind of the living.

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Hail:

 

^ Is it, though? Isn't a tulpa still representing you in the physical world when they possess you? And what happens if you end up marrying someone who thought they fell in love with you, but they come to realize that they really just fell in love with your tulpa, and the "real you" isn't someone they feel any romantic attraction to. The whole topic of tulpas romancing other humans is pretty messy because of ethical and existential issues like these.

 

I have to agree with glitchthe3rd here. That borders on causing the same issues someone with multiple personalities faces. It's almost like living a lie. Every time that person comes around you have to switch out with your host, and it starts to become a complicated mess. I think it's best if you're going to get into a romantic relationship with a physical human, both you and your host need to develop a relationship with him/her. We all have our different moods here and there, so I'm sure the other person would just assume the host and tulpa are just two different moods of the same person, two halves of the same coin.

 

These are great thoughts! I had my own idea for Gaelles' problem, but I barely gave a 'switching relationship' a second thought. Looking at it this way, I can see it as a possible solution. Though, I'm still troubled...

 

Much to what Glitchthe3rd and Bunny-boi-Lover were saying, there is the troubling aspect of switching every time that certain person comes around. True, if I were to have a similar passion towards that person, there wouldn't be too much complication. But I already have someone very special to me, and she's the one who helped bring Gaelles into this world. Eris (my special someone) is the other person who created Gaelles, as such he see's her as a mother figure and definitely not a potential lover! So it's not as though both of us having the same girl would really work.

 

And then there's the simple matter that the day Gaelles decides he likes a particular girl, that I she and I might already know each other, including my personality. If I'm suddenly having "mood swings" between really liking her and not liking her at all, it makes things... complicated...

 

As I suspected, this definately is a topic full of questions, ahahaha.

 

It need not be a mess and a lie. There is disclosure - telling your partner you are plural. If your partner knows you are plural, then they will know that you are not always the one in control and those things can be navigated. Taking Tri and I's situation. I am not dating Tri's girlfriend. Instead, Tri's girlfriend is one of my best friends. Similarly, my girlfriend is one of Tri's good friends. Our partner system can't switch or otherwise swap control easily, and though we can quickly, there are limits; so sometimes the people who are partners aren't controlling their respective bodies. But no worries, because then the two non-partners are friends.

 

@Hail/Tri: I loved hearing your full story. Obviously all these problems can be figured out.

 

I will pass on the thanks to Tri. Yeah, they can all be figured out.

 

@Yuki: Yeah i do have the right to go off and have my own relationship; my host is fine at fading to the background. But it would be weird to end up with some life where i got the happy home life and my host was stuck just having the day job for his time.

 

Of course, if your host and your partner are friends, they can spend some time together too which evens out the free time situation a bit.

 

In general i like the idea of dating another plural system, but there's only eight thousand tulpamancers on Reddit compared to the millions of singlets who live in our city. It sounds like we'd have better luck just explaining my existence to a neurotypical person.

 

Plurality is actually quite common. Just, most plurals are not in the tulpamancy community. My friend Seven estimates that about 1 in 10 people are plural, though most only barely so and not that aware (really close medians). I have done some estimates and come up with a lower bound of 1 in 10,000. From asking a variety of people, i suspect that it is definitely on the 1% level or higher. Also, expand out into the wider plural community. That helps widen the field.

 

I guess i end up thinking polyamory because i like conversation more when we're both involved. Whatever the meatship is doing, we're both here and having our reactions so it would be nice to be respected for that. We can each contribute individually and smoothly co-operate as a team. It would just be fulfilling to be accepted as plural system working as one.

 

That can certainly work.

Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others

System Name: Fall Family

Former Username: hail_fall

Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.

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