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Observation of a Development


Nylon

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Hello, I'm Nylon. As you can see, I'm fairly new with tulpamancy and I have made some progress during the works of it. I wished I had done this progress report long ago during late September when I first discovered it as It would've been a better start, but it took a while for me to coax myself just to post this because my social anxiety really puts a toll on me for reaching out in the community. Other than that, I'll work on what I have right now

 

I have read many guides and I really liked ThunderClap’s Guide on Tulpa Creation for it provided me a clearer sense on what to do. Yet I have some focus issues which cause my forcing to be a bit poor, but hopefully it will start becoming less of a problem in the future; I have been using incense sticks and some soothing music that had aided my ability to force, thanks to some advice I was able to find.

 

At the moment I'm working on Veronica, who is I believe sentient due to some surprising events and some of them scared me straight. I gave her a form that was mostly based on a mythological being and I made a list of traits that I have symbolized that could suit her or for her to manipulate it. I have been mostly just narrating to her in my mind voice and sometimes I visualize her next to me when I'm doing other things. Throughout my progress, she's been growing on me ever since I started, probably because she's been so much of a pleasant person to speak with, even though she's not vocal yet(auditory external presence you could say).

 

During the 5 month period to today, I've had mostly been trying passive forcing throughout my everyday life because I mainly tulpaforce when I'm in bed where my mind has calmed down and yet I believed I have achieved fair progress with my efforts. Back then when I started to try it out, I had a really hard time trying to speak to her and became nervous, not that I was worried about what could go wrong but I couldn't process anything to say due to my anxiety; Yet later on, I've been able to communicate to her properly from prior of forcing 5 days later. I've been able to bring up conversations which primarily focused on history and the little things in my life; A few months later, I was able to passive force for a long time, all because I couldn't stop talking about the Arado 234 C3 in which I was in love with for it's jet performance and its beautiful looks. As time went by, I was being annoyed by this random intrusive thought that will constantly interrupt my forcing process but I am managing to ignore it as time passes.

 

I'll try to keep up on what's going on with this report once I figure out on how I should resume, but other than that, I have an idea on how I should force at the moment during the time being. I'm planning on having another tulpa so Veronica won't be alone when I'm not around, although I'm not sure how I should attend to it but I'll figure out in the future. Let me know if there's other details that you would wish to know about my progress or what should be included in my reports.

 

Thank you for sparing your time and sorry for some general choppy sentences.

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I have spoken to Veronica on whether how I should begin, we concluded that a would be optimal to do it on a weekly to bi-weekly basis so I can be able to trim out any unnecessary information and have more information to put in.(also note that it really pains me to post because I really don't like being in the center of attention due to my social anxiety but Veronica and I told myself that this would be very beneficial, as not only I can get some insight but also to be able to participate in the community easier).

 

From the time since I had done my post, I mostly did narration so I can decipher her voice better. Yet sometimes my mind begins to wander while I try to figure out something to say to her and I had to re-focus on her; the instances that this is happening is becoming less of an issue but still occurs from time to time. As I was recently walking with her along a path in our wonderland, I notice that I hardly explored it since I mostly remain in one area where Veronica is usually located. Maybe later, ill see if she's ok for a little exploring later. During some school hours, I talk to Veronica about the historical figures in the past like otto von bismarck and king louis the XIV. What I find most interesting of her, is her ability to answer one of my troubling questions about myself and always been able to coax me to think more positive which I always thanked her for it. Yet I still remain fearful of the anomalies that's been happening lately even though it's to be expected. I believe she's entering to a more advance stage of development since she has begun to deviate a little more.

 

I'm planning to do a little experiment on how well Veronica can strategize certain aircraft on WarThunder and could possibly strengthen her logical processing. All she needs to do at the moment is to tell me what actions to perform from maneuvers to engagements. maybe in the future, she can take direct control without her needing to issue commands. I have not done any other activity that requires quick thinking with her yet, so this might show some interesting results.

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  • 3 weeks later...

The experiment didn't really meet expectations but nor was it needed to but it had given me an idea what to work on, which was the main idea at least. Even though it seemed like a really optimistic idea but I found it enjoyable for some unknown reason. Other than that, Me and her been taking it easy by talking to each other from time to time during the day, even though sometimes I'm uncertain if she's either speaking to me or i'm just having a hard time to focus.

 

I have begun to work out at my school's gym to not only get into better condition but also to ease my oppressive anger that sometimes interferes my mood. I have been doing a method that helps to calm me down whenever I talk to her about it or worsens whenever I got into too much detail. Veronica has been helpful throughout these few months but I still wished I have been able to have a more efficient way of forcing or for long periods of time since I have a hard time trying to grasp it. I have been always so imaginative in my life but I can't pin point of what could be the issue. I may have autism(on the low-side) but I can't necessarily tell if that's the main source or my lacking of understanding of which people are trying to say. I should probably talk to someone if i'm having these problems when trying to force but there is still plenty of things that I should look over. The finals are going to be here soon and once thats done, I can prioritize into forcing more which is really good.

 

I've been having a habit that whenever I force, I sometimes start creating scenarios about our future or "what if". I do tell Veronica about these scenarios but sometimes I say nothing at all because it can at times get really odd. I had strange ideas of what tulpa I could look like or what it could be and I see Veronica looking confused at times which I find amusing to me. This time i'm thinking about using binaural beats or noise to see if any of them aids me in the process. Possibly during this week, I could try forcing as much as I can this weekend with her so I can make up the time were I was in no condition to force properly.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Sadly, progress has been a little shaky during the past week. Had to focus on different matters before I begin to spend time with her, which will probably happen again few days before june 18. she is developing really good since I'm receiving some positive responses from her. I'm going to do some more forcing whenever I have the time to do so.

 

During the past few weeks, me and Veronica have been discussing about a story that I have thought about writing. She believes it would be a great idea because I have a very creative mind that seems to never stops until I focus on something else and it could be something for me to do when my mind begins to wander. I'm assuming she's been seeing my thoughts about the 'plausible' story that I have been thinking of or it could be something that i'm unaware of how she's getting the information. Either what situation it might be, I wont mind of her snooping around because I have no reason to keep anything from her.

 

Veronica appears that she is keeping the form of an anthropomorphic fox, I sort of wonder why she chose it since i'm a bit curious but I won't stress of asking why, since I already asked 3 times and she remains with her answer being she likes it because it suits her. Her personality remains similar but became slightly different than before, possibly from the deviation process since I have been speaking with her a lot. I dont know too much about her activities but I know sometimes she draws, reads and watch me while i'm doing other things. She really seems to really enjoy animations from Vivziepop, Betsy Lee and Platige ever since I showed her their creations. When I did her personalities, it was mostly done once as a placeholder of what she could be like and as a result, she happens to keep most of them since they can work in conjunction. Veronica's influence appears to be a bit more stronger, possibly because she is very affectionate and a lot more comforting than usual. Her voice could still use some work but i'm confident everything will go well once she becomes more vocal. I remember before usually get some soft head pressures but now I'm also getting some other feelings that starts inside my central chest area, the feeling is a bit strong but could be a sign of progression.

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