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Kirito

Tulpa-host relationship

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Would you have a fullblown committed relationship with your tulpa?

 

If you have, or are, whats it like, what are things you like and dislike about it?


“Eragon looked back at him, confused. "I don't understand."

"Of course you don't," said Brom impatiently. "That's why I'm teaching you and not the other way around.”

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Post written by Dutch.

 

Yep, I would and am in one. Not with the Yuki though. It's like any other relationship, and if you give someone freedom to make their own decisions, it can't hurt. The same things are needed for any decent relationship with a human being. You need to not have huge emotional imbalances, depression, anger issues, history of abuse, in either party (usually that'd mean just the host). You need to give your partner space if they want it, reason with them, and not get deluded into some kind of shitty "yay we're in lub and we gunna stay 2geva 5eva ^_^". Take things as they come, have fun together, don't become needy and crazy as a partner.

 

Tulpas, when young, are vulnerable. You should probably think twice about it if your tulpa comes up to you and says they love you and want to be with you after 6 months. Like, what the fuck do they know about love? Be wary to not hurt them in the long run with your answer.


Feel free to ask me anything.

Suffering is self-imposed. Don't let it control you.

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Yeah, it was multiple years before Flandre and I did anything remotely romantic. Reisen loved me before she was even a tulpa though, so.. exceptions happen.

 

I wouldn't call our relationships "fullblown", rather they're normal tulpa relationships where we're comfortable being romantic. I spend just as much time with Tewi and Lucilyn, and I believe in open relationships meaning a real life girlfriend would have nothing to do with my relationship with Reisen or Flandre, so I'm not sure I'm the person you're looking for an answer from. I assume you're talking about having your tulpa take the place of a would-be human boyfriend or girlfriend. I see nothing wrong with that if that's what you want, though many people believe a tulpa should/can not ever take the place of a human. Some just aren't interested in other humans, and if that's your decision then go for it.

 

A major, major benefit is that your tulpa will always understand everything about you perfectly, whereas even the most dedicated significant others often just have to accept your differences. A tulpa exists in your mind, so arguments are purely morality/belief based if they happen, because misconceptions generally aren't possible. The unconditional understanding and love you get from a tulpa is pretty hard to match for a real life counterpart.

 

The downsides are pretty obvious. Short of mastering lucid dreaming, which has its limits

(no orgasms before waking up, or so I've heard)

, you won't be able to experience the same levels of physical intimacy you could with a human. And to the extent that you can, it requires a lot of practice with visualization and various sensory hallucinating, whereas with a human... Pretty easy. If you plan on having a "fullblown relationship" with your tulpa though, I do heavily suggest looking into (ie. dedicating 1/3 of your life to) lucid dreaming. Wonderland visualization is useful, but lucid dreams are lifelike levels of real once you learn to control them. Too-good-to-be-true levels of amazing, really. But that's because it's not easy, it's a huge long-term commitment, life-long to some. Lucid dreaming proficiency is no easy feat, but I've never once seen someone put in the effort and regret it. I myself consider it one of my largest goals as a tulpamancer, and in general. I've had just enough success to be convinced of its potency.

 

Sorry, I'm pretty enthusiastic on that subject, but I guess it's a little off topic. Anyway, "it's like" having a significant other who lives in your mind. I don't know exactly what you're looking to get as an answer to that. I guess, be prepared to put forth a lot more mental effort to spend time with your tulpa than you would with a human. And be prepared for unconditional love and understanding. Make sure your morals are in line and agree with this endeavor, and go for it. But you might still talk to your tulpa about the possibility of a real-life relationship should one happen. You and your tulpa have to agree on the rules and boundaries of your relationship together, but once you do that's really all there is to it.


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Edwin and I have exchanged promise rings, and I have a physical equivalent of my ring. I can't wear it all the time, just to avoid questions. But I am totally committed to my bun-buns. <3


[align=center]"Jesus Pickles!"

~ Edwin reacting to pretty much every jump scare in a horror movie[/align]

 

Avatar was made by me using a base.

My DeviantArt Account

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I used to be in a relationship with Luna, and we're still really close on an emotional level even though we aren't actually a couple anymore. I liked that she understood me perfectly and I always knew how to make her happy, which is something I find has been lacking in all the relationships I've had with human girls. On the other hand, we both realize she can't do things a human girl can, like cook for me or help pay my bills or whatever. There's also not the social aspect that usually comes with having a human girlfriend, since, after all, she lives in my head. So I can't do stuff like mention her to my family or marry her or whatever else, because she "doesn't count" as having a girlfriend in society's eyes.


"Science isn't about why, science is about why not?" -Cave Johnson

Tulpae: Luna, Elise, Naomi

My progress report

 

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Rei and I are in a long-term, committed relationship with a kid; in fact, we consider ourselves to be married (I am planning to get a male or unisex claddagh ring to physically commemorate it). Although there are some things we both wish were different - physical contact, being able to meet each other's parents and friends, for examples - for the most part, it's about as perfect as could be. We understand each other completely, she seems to know me better than I know myself (plus there's something kind of awesome about a girl who can start talking like Ulysses from Fallout NV at will), and with each passing moment, we've made each other stronger and gotten each other closer to achieving our dreams.

 

In the admittedly unlikely event that I do meet someone who I think could be the right waking-world woman (Rei and I have talked about this at length, and she's okay with the possibility), I feel like the time we've spent as a couple will make me pickier, more patient, as well as a better mate...


Rei: more than a tulpa-she's a crisis counselor, an art therapist, a dietician, a relationship coach, a team morale expert, an athlete, an adventurer, a hawt wife, an incredible lover, an amazing mom, my best friend.

 

Tove: she's not a little tigress anymore! She's still the go-to gal for soccer advice and creative inspiration, especially monster design and all things cinematic...congrats on your engagement!

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Hail:

 

With any of the other 7 members part of the main group of my system (3 for sure tulpas, 2 who ride the line between tulpas and soulbonds, and then the original occupant of our body), I would never be in a romantic and/or sexual relationship with them. Period. They are my siblings. So NO to that sort of thing.

 

Now, deep inside two of our innerworlds (wonderlands) where no one knows about the system (mix of NPC's, proto-tulpas, and tulpas there), I would consider it if I wasn't in a monogamous romantic relationship with someone already. Though even if I wasn't in one, I would probably still not do it. Going to those worlds has issues. For one, i have to hide who I am and be discrete about the system to all but a few. Could really turn the world upside down for the inhabitants if they all found out. It is not my right to play goddess with their worlds (I've already done too much as it is). Would be even more in the closet there about everything, so I think I would not pursue that route.

 

Now, as for physical interactions in an in-system relationship (a host and tulpa in the same body having a relationship with each other is just one example), it is just a matter of learning to switch or otherwise get completely inside. Helps if there is at least one other member of the system to control the body. Otherwise, you have to leave it with no controller which is dangerous (body is catatonic). From the few times I have been completely inside, I know that physical things there should be just as intense as in outerworld. I nearly drowned once inside and I will tell you that the water in my lungs while fully in wonderland hurt just as bad as the few times in outerworld where I have breathed in a ton of water. Heck, even during partial immersion to inside, getting impaled did not feel good. If pain can work that well inside, it stands to reason that other things should. In fact, I have heard from a number of people that it does.


Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others

System Name: Fall Family

Former Username: hail_fall

Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.

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Would you have a fullblown committed relationship with your tulpa?

 

If you have, or are, whats it like, what are things you like and dislike about it?

All i can say is that my relationship with Tsuna is far more sensible, respectable and enjoyable than what i had with "physical" people. There are limitations, of course, for some they might be the deciding factor, but for myself having someone who understand me is more important than having someone who have physical body.

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Guest amber5885

I second that. Toby and I have been in a commuted relationship for nearly a year now. It was strange at first but he understands me in a way no one ever has and he treats me better than anyone ever has and that means more to me than having someone whO can keep me warm at night.

 

I'm not closed off to the idea of finding someone flesh and blood but I am asexual and romantically indifferent so I'm not looking. I would rather be surrounded by close friends then have a romantic partner any day.

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