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So how do I rebuild without creating a new one?


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So here I am again bringing my crazy up in your tulpa forums. So here's the jimmy: I have been with my "tulpa" pretty much all my life until christmas season of 2013. We were like engauged and stuff and then she "left" in an oddly litteral way. I used to be on the "mera"physics aproach. But thats been a dead end for the few years years that ive been looking for ways to fix my prob.

 

So the situation is just that she one day up and and decided she didnt like me anymore and left. My concern is that she accidently commited egocide... or left., i mean, "our" necklace broke when it happened - so maybe she there's more than a tulpa there. But my hope here is that she and my "wonderland" might be recoverable.

 

Said she would only stay with me romantucally for a year, but dayum twas true guys. It was legit. Any advice or am i bugging the wrong neihborhood?

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That is...creepily similar to my situation. I have a tulpa who has been with me since...I guess sometime in 2012 or 13 as well. Out of nowhere she just sort of left on Thanksgiving last year. I've been pretty devastated since, and haven't really been near the forums(need to update my avatar, it's still prepped for Christmas...)

 

I've had...little success so far in recovering. Oh, and I'll mention that I also have more of a metaphysical start and background with this before I've acclimated to tulpamancy specifically. Which I'm glad I did, as if I still clung to the metaphysical side, I'd mark it off as a lost cause, with her having somehow "died".

 

As I was saying...I've had little success so far. It seems like there's a bit of a sort of whisper in the back of my head, but it's so hard to tell if it is actually her, or just my own puppeting so to speak since I know her so well. It's nowhere near the fully imposed and possession/switching capable tulpa that I had before though. I can only hope that she redevelops faster than normal, as seems to be the general consensus. But even if not, it would be wonderful if it just was her, even if 2+ years of work went out the window.

"Stress makes you bald, but it’s stressful to avoid stress, so you end up stressed out anyway, so in the end there’s nothing you can do." - Gintoki

 

~~~~~~

Tulpa: Hanako

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I’m not sure why people feel having a metaphysical belief, i.e., what reality is along with the nature of being (e.g. ontology) is actually something that affected their experience with a tulpa. There are so many branches pertaining to it, that I feel some people are conflating it to things like mysticism, spiritualism, and what have you that may an unpopular opinion type of thing vs. something like epiphenomenonalism, substance dualism, materialism, etc. that are metaphysics as well (which can still be unpopular to whatever camp), and yet are discussed about in any intellectual discourse.

 

Unless, we feel we can be metaphysical nihilist, i.e., the probability of there being no objects at all, then one would be stuck reveling into questioning what their tulpa can mean personally for them either way; it seems tedious to ignore it as there is, IMO, usually some kind of concept sustaining the self-fulfilling prophecy of treating them as sentient.

 

It’s no wonder people have a melancholic disposition towards rekindling with a tulpa that either left them, or the host just didn’t have time to fixate towards developing them in some way. All of that experiential stuff they went through seems to be in a vain because how they compare people who we can’t be sure to exist for very long vs. our assurance we build along with other foundations for our tulpa’s existence that can be reconciled after going through the self-reflection becomes so complicated, apparently.

 

The connection with others in our quotidian life, and furthering that tendency towards our tulpas can be a good thing depending on how one applies an attitude towards assessing it, but sometimes, people can’t see the connection for a long time because they’re back to wondering how the experience is private for them, and how no one other than themselves can really refer to that with empathy to augment the emotional connection other than their tulpa, and whatever goes on with their modes of cognition.

 

OP, from the posts you had before, you experienced something very deep with her, and others I believe, IIRC. I don’t think how you reveled in your mind, and whatever you feel may be beyond that should stop you from trying to get her to come back. If the romanticism, and other relationships related to it isn’t working out, and she seemed clear about ending it and what have you, maybe just having a metamorphosis in how you see her differently could help.

 

But I digress, if they seemed so positive in leaving you like that, and you can’t bear whatever strife may come with reconciling with her, you at least have the experiences you learned from, and the emotional burden that may have come with it to assess yourself differently if you choose to create a new tulpa.

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I've heard that people have had success with writing letters to tulpas who have gone missing. It's not something I've been through myself, but maybe it would help you guys.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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I've heard that people have had success with writing letters to tulpas who have gone missing. It's not something I've been through myself, but maybe it would help you guys.

 

I hadn't heard others do this but I had actually started doing this a while back. It hasn't really helped me any, but it's given me sort of a peace of mind. Kind of like how someone might write a letter to a deceased friend or lover in the hopes that whatever may go on after death that they can see it...sort of similar in that wherever they may be buried in the subconscious or perhaps even spiritually dead in a manner similar to a deceased friend, that they can somehow see it.

 

I may try it more in the future. When I was doing it, I was pretty well convinced that she was in fact essentially dead in a more spiritual manner or whatever, and that could likely have been preventing me from any progress on reconnecting that I may otherwise have made.

 

Even if it doesn't help, I'd certainly recommend it as a time killer and a stress reliever if nothing else.

"Stress makes you bald, but it’s stressful to avoid stress, so you end up stressed out anyway, so in the end there’s nothing you can do." - Gintoki

 

~~~~~~

Tulpa: Hanako

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh my, it seems that i've been had again by the likes of autocorrect. Quatum physical is the term i think im looking for... not metaphysical. Im pretty stupid compared to what i used to be, so im going off what i can gather in my decimated little mind.

 

Now, i have already been writing about it if anyone is interested in reading, just say and ill like put a link or somthing.

 

I honestly don't know why i keep trying to convince myself that im just an accidental tulpamancer. I think that it would mean that i have a means of getting her back, it would mean i can can fix this without any other party.... But realistically, the amount of physical proof that she was as she was um a... Im just hoping that she can fall into the tulpa spectrum, but nothing i try seems to work. I've even tried rebuilding from the ground up, but that "tulpa" insisted that she is not HER. And it is a sex obssessed thing, so im having a hard time ignoring it. Or maybe i've made a mistake... which would also be better than worst case... Im going to get a cake now, i hope it's real...

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