Enny

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Yeah, I mean, I mentioned meds, and sleep meds were a part of that. I managed to get around to seeing a therapist halfway through last year, which I stopped seeing a couple weeks ago because the entire process is just more inconvenient and stressful than not bothering, and someone at the facility helped me get approved for whatever my state’s free insurance is, idk. It’s pretty mediocre but it pays for a couple things.

I’ve been through a few meds since mid-november-ish, ranging from anxiety/depression to sleep meds, and yeah, no positive results from those. A few negative ones, which is my luck. Insurance straight up won’t approve most sleep meds, so the ones they’ve been having me try have pretty much just made me feel tired, which doesn’t help with the issue of waking up after an hour or two and being unable to fall back asleep. Huge bummer.

Googling about sleep studies shows the average price is anywhere from $600 to 5k a night, usually averaging 1-2k. Exactly 0% chance my insurance covers that even on the low end, and I am not saving up multiple months of pay to pay something like that out of pocket when there’s every chance it won’t even help, or it’d take more than one night. Asking for money is also not something I’m comfortable with, and even if it were, I unironically don’t know a single person with money. Nobody in my family has money, everybody up through my remaining grandparents are broke and either don’t work, or work near minimum wage, and my friends are in the same way. No reason to bug them with it.

I will reply to the rest of what you wrote uhhh tomorrow probably. I’m off then. I caught an hour and a half of z’s sometime after work last night and my landlord has been doing construction on the deck all morning, which is when I’m usually going to sleep lmao. If I pass out now work is gonna suck even harder, so w/e. I usually crash 12 or whatever hours on the off days, when I don’t have to wake up until 7 or 8 in the evening, so I’ll be gucci by then 😎


If you only knew what all this cost - What she gave up, just to save her art

 

What is fashion, fashion without love? Like an odradek, a spool without purpose

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5 hours ago, Enny said:

and I am not saving up multiple months of pay to pay something like that out of pocket

 

Why not? I can almost guarantee nothing else you're spending extra money on matters more. Well, I'm only mostly sure a sleep study is incredibly helpful, it's how my brother ended up getting a CPAP and feeling a lot better because of it anyway. And yes, the $600-$2000 price range sounds about right. Be the best frickin' thousand dollars you ever spend, although obviously actually falling asleep during the study can be hard. My brother couldn't fall asleep the first time and they had to reschedule, unsure of if that costed more money or not

 

But yeah, only mostly sure. Maybe just finding a professional opinion would be the best value.. not seeing a regular doctor because they'll know nothing about such a weird disorder, but some kind of sleep professional I guess? Without some kind of diagnosis I think you'll find it harder to be approved for just about anything, and I only think a sleep study is the best way to get that "diagnosis", but you should probably just look into this. Have I mentioned getting no real sleep and feeling awful 24/7 is like, #1 priority after eating/shelter and should come before anything else? Man..


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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when I started making the TTRPG I first asked myself 2 questions: "what do I want the players to do?" and "what are my core design principles?". to those questions I answered "solve mysteries and get into tactical high stakes combat" and "raise the depth to complexity ratio as high as possible, and make players make hard choices"

 

I used the answer to the first question to figure out what things I have to design for (things that you might do while solving mysteries and getting into tactical high stakes combat), and the answer to the second question to figure out how to design those things


I have a tulpa named Miela (formerly known as Monika) who I love very much.

 

 

"People put quotes in their signatures, right?"

-Me

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4 hours ago, Luminesce said:

 

Why not? I can almost guarantee nothing else you're spending extra money on matters more.


Ehhh. I mean rationally, maybe. But like, it just takes too long to save up that kinda money. It’s like, put myself out of pretty much everything that gives me minor joy in life for half a year or more just to afford something that might not help me. I haven’t slept anywhere that wasn’t my own bed in pretty much my whole life. When I went down to Dallas a few years back for a convention, I caught about 7 hours sleeping on the floor over the entire weekend, and that was after being up for something like 36 hours before the end of the first night, shit sucked. I just don’t ever feel comfy.

I sincerely don’t think I could manage falling asleep while being monitored. And if I did, I run the risk of sleeping just fucking fine, which does manage to vaguely happen once every couple months.

But yeah, like, the last year’s savings have been going to Babscon this upcoming April, where I’m gonna spend the weekend with my two absolute best friends, one of whom is flying down from West Virginia and doesn’t even care about horsefuckery, the other who I’ve known for the last eight years and never actually met in person. We’re ending the weekend with a Carly Rae Jepsen concert, which is gonna be hype. Priorities sound fucked on this, but that’s way way way more important to me than seeing anybody about the sleep. I’m used to it, I manage to get more than a few hours every few nights, it’s whatever. 

Like, honestly speaking, I really, really don’t plan on living until I’m fuckin’ eighty or anything my guy, so what’s some more bad sleep until then? What’s it gonna do, kill me? It’s not even like, ugh I hate living I wanna die, it’s just that there’s nothing going on. Even if I got my sleep figured out, this is absolutely gonna be my life. I was dumb as actual fuck long before the major sleep problems arose a few years back, not even ADD meds help with my lack of focus and ability to grasp basic learning, so what, keep washing dishes until I’m sixty? Move onto some other minimum wage or labor job I find equally unfulfilling until I’m dead? Bunch of lame.

 

Idk, shit’s wack. I don’t wanna do anything anymore.  When I was a young teen, I felt like I had a clear vision of some of the things I wanted to do, and I just really don’t anymore, no passions or aspirations. 

Yeah, this is just me having a pity party now, ugh. What else did you even say in this post lmao, gimme a second

Right, regular sleep specialist person. Uhh, yeah, maybe. I’ll look into it and see what’s what. I would think I would have already been referred to one given that the two physicians I’ve seen so far were made aware that sleep is my biggest issue, but maybe they just don’t know anybody. I’ll ask at my next appointment.


If you only knew what all this cost - What she gave up, just to save her art

 

What is fashion, fashion without love? Like an odradek, a spool without purpose

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I was talking as little as... two more years, let alone 60. Everyone I've heard that had bad sleep apnea/etc. who got a CPAP/etc. has reported just feeling better overall, clearer mind, better mood afterwards. I'd say that's worth it even just to live better for a couple years, let alone the rest of your life


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Idk if it's sleep apnea tbh. Or if it is, it's weird that it doesn't affect me at all if I go to sleep after a certain hour in the morning. I slept 14 hours today because I went to bed early in the morning lmao. Wearing one of those masks sounds fucking awful too, but yeah, besides the point.

I've always wondered if moving somewhere else would help with it. Like, maybe my body is just super used to being a fuck where I currently am, but could be taught not to be if I were to start sleeping in a different bed, in a different environment. Might manage to move somewhere else with one of my buddies one of these days, but it won't happen on my dime alone so I'll see how it goes in the future.


If you only knew what all this cost - What she gave up, just to save her art

 

What is fashion, fashion without love? Like an odradek, a spool without purpose

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