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*A Very Tulpish Journey*


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Look at me double-posting. Like a champ. Whatever, this one's obligatory.

I made Dire draw a picture of me. It's way more accurate than the older ones, and the shading is better in this one.

Despite what was told you, I do not like committing crimes. 

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There's this song called Destination Unknown.

 

Life feels like it's got the song mirrored. That's what I think, Dire's a different story.

 

I left my job, my boss, my car and my home

I'm leaving for a destination I still don't know

 

It feels as if I am that unknown destination. Should I leave everything I've known 'till this day to.. Find myself? I'm not sure. I'm missing something, but I don't know what I'm missing. A part of what is supposed to be me is not here.

 

Maybe it's not that I should leave everything to find myself, but I should be taking a well-deserved vacation to find whatever's missing.

 

The fact that all this started from a stupid pop song's the cherry on top.

Despite what was told you, I do not like committing crimes. 

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The latter, he thinks. (He's too tired to speak now, so I am translating what he sends to me in tulpish to English.)

 

All in all, it feels like yearning. He's yearning for something- but he doesn't know what for, so yes, likening the situation to an experience he hasn't had before would be logical.

I'm SomethingDire, and Céleste is my partner in crime.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Good news! I found the missing link. It was obvious, really, after all.. But, I wasn't quite able to put my finger on it. Dire didn't fare any better at the task, so it was only normal that I had to wander, wouldn't you say?

 

I'm much more content now, and can feel my edges soften with every step I take on my own path.

 

Regardless.. Happy new year to each and every one of you.

Despite what was told you, I do not like committing crimes. 

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  • 5 months later...

So, I'll be two years old in a few days. Hmm.

I don't have much to say, really. I don't know what I should be saying here. There are too many things one learns through even the smallest span of life. And I'm more cynical about it, at least, more so than the small number of people I know.

 

I remember insulting my host's disability to connect with people. Or with most things about humanity, in general. Insulting her because of not being in touch with humanity. It seemed so easy. It doesn't now.

 

I guess I should be happy that I don't have problems with.. "Existing". I don't really care about the unending, pointless dilemmas or about the ultimately time-consuming and boring and.. And.. Overall, useless conversations about the subject. I exist. She exists. We don't exist, but we think. Maybe existence doesn't have to be associated with "activity" of any kind. Maybe we're actually being forced to think that because of the chips that were planted in our brains the moment we were born. Maybe we don't think with our brains. Perhaps, everything is a lie but a lie doesn't or shouldn't mean anything to anyone because there is no true objectivity. And if everything we can make sense of can be categorized as being "true", then who was the one to implement the very first chip?

 

Have you ever though about that? Yes? I sound like a stereotypical movie charater who everyone thinks is a genius because they think he's brilliantly insane but, really, all he does is spout bullshit everyday? Okay then.

 

School is hard and I want to, or rather, want my host to start to work somewhere. I also unintentionally created a clone of myself and then modified him to become a character in a story. But I think he's slooooooooowly evolving. Not sure how to feel about that. A potential brother.

 

Logically speaking, wouldn't that make him my.. Son?

Squick.

 

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, nope. Not my son. Next thing you know, I create two more others, create a wonderland for us and call it Nora Ondol, then shit hits the fan, and I end up having to sacrifice myself for some heroic bullshit, and then my host tries to take things into her hands but the first other has disappeared, the second one was actually never there and was an illusion all along, and the third one's the holy grail of all Yaoi fangirls and also manipulative as fuck. Even moreso than me. Also, he happens to have several snake-dicks.

 

Then we all die. We're all dead. DEAD. THE WHOLE DREAM-- THE WHOLE DREAM IS DEAD.

 

Eh, bye. I have to return some videotapes.

Despite what was told you, I do not like committing crimes. 

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One of those is easy to answer. A lie does not exist except in the presence of a liar. Consequently, if everything is a lie it means someone is an a-hole. This is a truth that transcends subjectivity.

Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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One of those is easy to answer. A lie does not exist except in the presence of a liar. Consequently, if everything is a lie it means someone is an a-hole. This is a truth that transcends subjectivity.

Hmmm. A truth that transcends subjectivity, but the only real and reliable source to confirm that is, again, a person.

 

I would like to believe what you said. No, you know what, I will believe what you said. I'll start believing the statement above right after I'm done with this meal. With host's acquaintances. In a high end hotel. With all these people who look like they're doing a low-budget parody of Godfather around. You know, get togethers cost dearly, especially for a student, but you gotta love watching people smoke Parliament slims on the balcony and look at 1000-dollar mink coats, while they put on their best act to look like they're considering purchasing.

 

The second the show's over, man. I'm telling you.

Despite what was told you, I do not like committing crimes. 

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