Quetzal the furdragon

Solve the above with troll science

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I hack into the american government top secret files and obtain information on how to construct a time machine. Then, I sell the information to a wealthy man so he can build it for me, and I travel several decades into the future. I gain the ability to use telekinesis there so I go back in my time machine and solve the rubik's cube without physically touching it.

 

Cure cancer with a slice of bread, a fire extinguisher, a jetplane, and a hoe.


Hey there! You stand before the signature of a goddess! Congratulations!

 

PLlama's tulpa (tulpaware, as he would say)

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I grow penicillin by leaving the old bread out in the sun for days, creating a cure. Then I use the fire extinguisher to cryogenically freeze it, creating a supercure. Then I use the engine of a jet plane as a centrifuge, to improve the cure more. I use the dirt on the hoe to cultivate a retrovirus. I mix the supercure with the retrovirus to create the ultimate cure. It is at least good enough to cure cancer.

 

Your tire has blown out. In your trunk is some cardboard boxes, a carjack, groceries, and an ice scraper. You find 53 cents under your car seat. How do you get back on the road?


Host comments in italics. Tulpa's log. Tulpa's guide.

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Your tire has blown out. In your trunk is some cardboard boxes, a carjack, groceries, and an ice scraper. You find 53 cents under your car seat. How do you get back on the road?

 

Draw a crude silhouette of a cute girl on the cardboard using grape juice and a carrot from the groceries. Place her standing in front of the car with the hood up.

 

When some unsuspecting guy pulls over to help, use the lifting arm from the carjack swivel and knock him out. Take his keys, steal his car, use the scraper to shave the vin number off the dashboard, swap plates, give the guy 53 cents with a note saying, 'had to rent your car, sorry for the blunt force trauma, walk it off and don't be a baby, here you can have my car and cardboard girlfriend. Peace out.'

 

Drive for the border, evade arrest, hide out in Oaxaca for about a decade, return and lead a doube life, find a detective who's working on cold case files, send him an anonymous tip, misdirection to arrest a really bad guy who's pretty much a lifer anyway. Pump up the charges, have him plea bargain to have the assault and car theft dropped, see that the case is closed.

 

Infiltrate the office, steal the files, destroy evidence.

 

 

Make a birthday cake using only animal byproducts.

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See? This birthday cake was made entirely out of animal by-products! All keratin and hair!

Yum! Gelatin frosting!

*gets close to ear and whispers just as you take a bite:* human animal

 

You have to reconstruct the 176-year-old stained glass window out of this heap of shards and no reference image. No other window is able to replace this broken masterpiece. How do you return the chapel’s broken window to its former glory?


I’m Couguhl‘s tulpa! [his words are in quotes]

..JSYK

———-

“Now I know why they have [self-]bans!” -Me

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You just have to go faster than the light of it breaking 176 years ago will reach you so let's just break relativity no problem, but I'll be pedantic about it

given dL = (cx)*t, where x = seconds in a year [3.154 × 107], dL = the needed distance to move within that year to account for 176 years of c, and t = 176)

so converting it,  (2.998 × 108 * 3.154 × 107)*176
dL = 1.664 × 1018

can be written out as 1 quintillion 664 quadrillion meters
or a "really gosh darn big number"

but we need to go that distance in one year + one second, and then we should see the moment the glass window breaks causality and all that. we can do it faster/slower (not really since we're far past infinite energy in use but yknow, i want some time to sightsee)

so using  (x + 1) for our given time, solve for v, velocity in m/s
v = dL/(x + 1)

v = 1.664 x 1018 / (31540001)

so we only need to go 5.276 × 1010 m/s , can convert that into km/h by just multiplying by 3.6,

so v*3.6 = 1.899 × 1011 km/h delta v from a still frame of reference for a year and a second (approximately) and then it will just appear to form back into existence, uhm, if you can still see it!
also, you'd be able to see yourself get younger and be born! and the civil war!
 

 

erm, we have a worse problem now,

how do we get back

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Seeing that you worked out going faster than light, then faster than light communication is a breeze. You simply communicate to your past self to create a clone of yourself in the past so that they’ll be ready in time. Simply brain wash and condition them to be the one to go into space and see the unbroken glass, take a picture, and radio it back. Of course they’ll be stuck in deep space, but you could condition them such that they love it. ❤️

 

Repeat the preparation and accomplishment of David Blaine’s famous 44 day ice block challenge using troll science. 


Superfluous heart activate! 💖 -shwing-

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(Hahaha! I don't want to post again atm but I wanted to appreciate that reply.  Though it comes with many strange implications that could be further pedantically extracted, I already feel brainwashed into loving it! 💔 even if I broke causality to do it...)

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On 7/8/2020 at 5:14 AM, Samantha said:

Repeat the preparation and accomplishment of David Blaine’s famous 44 day ice block challenge using troll science. 

 

I think I'm about to break the game.

 

I kidnap David Blaine and seal him in an ice block for 44 days. Good luck my friend, you did it before, you'll do it again.

 


 

You have a pack of gum, a ball point pen, a 1984 Jeep Renegade (that gets 10 mph) but won't start and is on empty anyway, a two gallon full gasoline container, and you are 50 miles from the nearest services on a road that hasn't seen another car in weeks. You're in the desert, no water in sight and no food to speak of. There isn't a single living thing in sight but dry tumble weeds and the occasional Joshua tree. You were pickpocketed so you have no wallet, and you sprained your ankle while relieving yourself behind a rock, which is why you stopped tgis morning in the first place. There's some change and a map in the car, that's it. It's 9am and 90F currently. At 2pm it's forecast to be 120F and you have no way to shelter in this roofless, doorless, worthless car.

 

Survive or escape using troll science.

 

 

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First I have to create a water distilling device so I can extract moisture from the soil before daytime. I build a fire with the remnants of my supplies and with enough tumbleweeds as tinder I create a heat source and begin to prepare my materials. Then I realize that this is an imaginary hypothetical situation and I escape from the confines of this internal game I was caught up in unconsciously.

 

Logic says that 2+2=5. But you only have a cactus, the Facts, and some Elbow Grease. How do you liquidate your assets and transfer all power to the nearest deceased relative?


I’m Couguhl‘s tulpa! [his words are in quotes]

..JSYK

———-

“Now I know why they have [self-]bans!” -Me

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